Role Playing relationships out of loneliness...

[Jigzy]

So yeah basically that's what I've been doing since I haven't been able to find a real relationship just yet and right now it seems completely impossible. I have not been meeting the right people suitable enough to have a real relationship with. So I've been in and out of a lot of RP relationships on Facebook, putting myself in relationships with different RP people so many times. Is that really a bad thing though? Is it really hurting people when I just decide to break up with them in RP, because I found someone else I like better and then getting with another RP character? I mean in a real relationship I'd never do that and of course in a real relationship that would be a very bad thing to do, but is it also really a bad thing to do in RP or is that okay?

[Xeno]

You're questioning the effects of the actions of a fictional character on other fictional characters. I want you to think about that for a few minutes. When you realize that fiction isn't real, come back and tell me what you think the answer to your question is.

[Yuki-Anne]

You're questioning the effects of the actions of a fictional character on other fictional characters. I want you to think about that for a few minutes. When you realize that fiction isn't real, come back and tell me what you think the answer to your question is.

What he said. If someone is getting so emotionally invested in their RP relationships that they are actually hurt when someone else breaks off the RP relationship... well, that sounds like a personal problem to me. If that person is you, it's an issue you need to work out. If that person is someone else, it's not your problem. Because it's RP. The whole point of it is that it's not real.

As for the deeper underlying "forever alone" issue, all I gotta say is, enjoy your crazy hobbies while you're single. There's a ton of stuff I did when I was single (RP, fanfiction, AMV's, etc.) that I just kind of stopped doing once I got into my early 20's, and now that I'm married I'm glad I stopped because it'd be super embarrassing to explain to my husband. If you like RP, don't sweat it. Just enjoy it before SO's and children make it too embarrassing to continue. Or they make you busy or something. Heck, you might find somebody who enjoys RPing with you. But at this point just have fun and don't sweat whether you'd doing something "bad" or not. Think of it like you're writing a story. If a character in a story does something bad during the course of the story, it doesn't mean the author did something bad. RP is like writing a single character of a story that a lot of people are writing; that's how I saw it, anyway. So enjoy that and stop sweating it when a character does something you'd never do. You're not that person, and you know that. You're just writing a character. Get deep (or be shallow; it's your character). Have fun. Go crazy.

[Jigzy]

Well I'm still in my 20's and I RP. I'm looking to find a real relationship too, get married and settle down, but right now I just haven't found the right person. There's a guy on my Facebook RP page for example who says I'm always in and out relationships so many times and acts like it's wrong or something, but it's only for RP and then he's like "Again?" when I find a new one. I mean I believe I told him that it was just for RP. Then when I break up with someone they seem all hurt or upset at times and it makes me feel bad, but maybe I really shouldn't feel bad.

[Yuki-Anne]

Wait, I'm really confused as to the nature of the facebook roleplaying relationships thing here. Like... are you just roleplaying facebook relationships? Because that's kind of what it sounds like...

[Xeno]

Yuki, I really like you but not enough to actually care about you in any actual human capacity. Lets roleplay an affair on our Facebook accounts. I think this sounds like a great idea that couldn't possibly upset or confuse anyone that doesn't know what is going on.

[Yuki-Anne]

It may be time to declare you the official CAA Thread Awkwarden.

[Xeno]

I simply identify threads that are already on the way to being awkward and force them to their inevitable ends.

[Jigzy]

Wait, I'm really confused as to the nature of the facebook roleplaying relationships thing here. Like... are you just roleplaying facebook relationships? Because that's kind of what it sounds like...

Yes, I role play Facebook relationships. Like for example my role playing character is from Pokemon and I find people to be in relationships with my character. So we set the relationship thing as to "In a relationship" or even "Engaged" or Married with that person with their name attached to it. That's what I meant.

[Xeno]

Not entirely certain, but I think you may be missing the point of Facebook.

[Yuki-Anne]

Wait, I'm really confused as to the nature of the facebook roleplaying relationships thing here. Like... are you just roleplaying facebook relationships? Because that's kind of what it sounds like...

Yes, I role play Facebook relationships. Like for example my role playing character is from Pokemon and I find people to be in relationships with my character. So we set the relationship thing as to "In a relationship" or even "Engaged" or Married with that person with their name attached to it. That's what I meant.

sorry, now I'm picturing this weird Pokemon spin-off where instead of catching strange creatures, you catch dudes to be in relationships with. Gotta catch 'em all? I'm sorry, I know it's probably not like that either but...

NOW I get why your friend is weirded out. Do you have a facebook for your character or do you use your own facebook? cuz, like, I get RPing and having a storyline where your character and some other character get together, but I guess I don't get using facebook specifically for roleplaying being in relationships. Plus if it's facebook EVERYBODY can see what's going down if you're doing that. I don't think it's a moral issue so much as a social issue; since everybody can see it, anybody can criticize it. And if you're using your real name instead of an alias that just makes it worse.

I'd say if the criticism bothers you, find another forum for your rp relationships. One where every little breakup is a little less... public.

Also, I mean, if you're that lonely, have you considered legit online dating? It doesn't sound that much different from what you're doing now, and if what you're really craving is a real relationship with a real person, online dating isn't that weird or taboo anymore.

[Kaori]

You're questioning the effects of the actions of a fictional character on other fictional characters.

It seems pretty clear that Jigzy is concerned about the effect of fictional relationships on real people, which is a perfectly valid concern.

Jigzy, if you are primarily concerned about how your behavior is affecting the other people you RP with, have you tried asking them their opinion about your behavior? You already said this . . .

Then when I break up with someone they seem all hurt or upset at times and it makes me feel bad, but maybe I really shouldn't feel bad.

and I'm not sure whether you meant that the character seems hurt or the player seems hurt, but if it's the latter then you have your answer.

If you're concerned about whether what you're doing in your RP relationships will affect you, e.g. whether it will condition you to treat relationships as something disposable and lead you to give up quickly on real relationships, I think you're the only one who can answer that. Some people are affected by what they do in RPGs, and some people aren't.

By far the most important thing, however (if you are a Christian or believe in a personal God), is to pray and ask God what he thinks about it. If there is something wrong about your attitudes and actions, there is nothing that will make that clear more than going into the presence of God and bringing it before him. Also, if you have a spiritual leader like a pastor or priest, you might also consider asking his opinion, or the same if you have someone who could be a spiritual mentor. That's going to get you far better advice than you'll get by asking random people on the internet, because we don't know anything about you or your background (among other reasons).

[Xeno]

It seems pretty clear that Jigzy is concerned about the effect of fictional relationships on real people, which is a perfectly valid concern.

How is this a valid concern? I'm sorry, but if you (this is a general "you") are so tied in a roleplay that you start actually have issues with what your actions are doing to the players of others characters, then you need to take a step back and get your head on straight because this isn't normal. RPing is a a game, it is not reality and all parties involved should understand that they are portraying a character and nothing more than that.

If you're concerned about whether what you're doing in your RP relationships will affect you, e.g. whether it will condition you to treat relationships as something disposable and lead you to give up quickly on real relationships, I think you're the only one who can answer that. Some people are affected by what they do in RPGs, and some people aren't.

And you basically said what I said here here, and I still find worrying about the actions of a character impacting the RPer to be dumb.

By far the most important thing, however (if you are a Christian or believe in a personal God), is to pray and ask God what he thinks about it. If there is something wrong about your attitudes and actions, there is nothing that will make that clear more than going into the presence of God and bringing it before him. Also, if you have a spiritual leader like a pastor or priest, you might also consider asking his opinion, or the same if you have someone who could be a spiritual mentor. That's going to get you far better advice than you'll get by asking random people on the internet, because we don't know anything about you or your background (among other reasons).

Really? Asking a pastor or priest about something they have absolutely no clue on/they are going to be entirely out of touch with sounds like a brilliant idea. I'll let the praying thing go because this is a christian forum and it just goes with the territory.

[Kaori]

How is this a valid concern? I'm sorry, but if you (this is a general "you") are so tied in a roleplay that you start actually have issues with what your actions are doing to the players of others characters, then you need to take a step back and get your head on straight because this isn't normal.

Yes, I (personally) do in fact think that it is valid to be concerned about how what you do affects the emotions of the people you interact with, and I'm not ashamed of that. Sure, ideally players in a RP should not be so caught up in the RP that something negative happening to their character is going to have any sort of significant effect on them, but it seems like in this particular instance of relationship RPing it would be pretty easy for people to get their emotions mixed up with their characters', and if what Jigzy is doing is routinely causing other players to feel hurt, then that's something that deserves some thought.

As for talking with a pastor or priest, even if the pastor or priest in question really knows nothing about RPing, if Jigzy has been regularly attending a certain church and has an ongoing relationship with that person, then they are going to know a lot more about Jigzy as a person--background, personality, struggles or issues that he or she has gone through--than, say, I do, and that's going to affect how they approach this question.

[Xeno]

But it's not you, it is a fictional character being played by you. If an actual person is having actual emotional responses to the actions of a fictional character, then that person needs to re-evaluate themselves.

e: But just knowing her better isn't going the change the fact that they are probably going to find the entire premise of this to be batty as hell.

[Kaori]

Ninja'd, please also note what I added when I was editing my post above.

Lots of people do have emotional responses to things that happen to their RP characters. In normal situations, it just usually isn't very strong or lasting, and it's true that players ought to have the fortitude and maturity to not take it personally. For example, back in the days when I played dice-and-paper games, I as a person felt some satisfaction when my Shadowrun character gained a good reputation and the respect of her teammates. I've also seen some people become visibly upset when their characters died. And I would think that a typical dice-and-paper game would probably not be nearly as emotionally involving for the players compared to role-playing a dating relationship.

[Xeno]

Having a minor frustration when a character you've worked on for a while dies is not what is being talked about here, because that is understandable. Becoming so emotionally invested in a character that the fake relationships between the characters affects you as a real person though is an issue and is not normal. You can certainly roleplay someone being heartbroken over a breakup, but there is no reason why a the player should actually be upset by an RP breakup aside from the slight frustration from lost story-lines.

[PrincessZelda]

...My head hurts.


But I think I mostly agree with what everyone else is saying. First of all, Facebook is probably not the best place to RP, and there are a lot of RPing websites out there that would probably work out better. Especially if you're using your main account on Facebook and not a separate account. I'm still confused by what you were saying about that... And second, if you are RPing a fictional character, and the other person it RPing a fictional character, then it would make sense in the story that the character would be hurt over breaking up. It makes sense. If you think you feel bad about it if it was a real person, then just use that to write the actions of your character. Like people were saying, remember that you're basically writing a story, this isn't real life. If someone's character is upset, then great, they know how to accurately show how a person would react in that situation, it doesn't mean they're personally upset at you.

[Jigzy]

Wait, I'm really confused as to the nature of the facebook roleplaying relationships thing here. Like... are you just roleplaying facebook relationships? Because that's kind of what it sounds like...

Yes, I role play Facebook relationships. Like for example my role playing character is from Pokemon and I find people to be in relationships with my character. So we set the relationship thing as to "In a relationship" or even "Engaged" or Married with that person with their name attached to it. That's what I meant.

sorry, now I'm picturing this weird Pokemon spin-off where instead of catching strange creatures, you catch dudes to be in relationships with. Gotta catch 'em all? I'm sorry, I know it's probably not like that either but...

NOW I get why your friend is weirded out. Do you have a facebook for your character or do you use your own facebook? cuz, like, I get RPing and having a storyline where your character and some other character get together, but I guess I don't get using facebook specifically for roleplaying being in relationships. Plus if it's facebook EVERYBODY can see what's going down if you're doing that. I don't think it's a moral issue so much as a social issue; since everybody can see it, anybody can criticize it. And if you're using your real name instead of an alias that just makes it worse.

I'd say if the criticism bothers you, find another forum for your rp relationships. One where every little breakup is a little less... public.

Also, I mean, if you're that lonely, have you considered legit online dating? It doesn't sound that much different from what you're doing now, and if what you're really craving is a real relationship with a real person, online dating isn't that weird or taboo anymore.

To you and everyone else...
I just like having RP relationships with my Pokemon RP character due to the fact that I'm single in real life and am very lonely at the moment. So I try to get rid of that stress by using RP relationships to fall back on. I don't wanna be depressed and crying like I was 2 years ago when I was very lonely and single. I've always had this same Facebook account even then though, but I've never done this before and got with like so many RP characters at once, but this year I did. You know it actually really seems to help. I just don't wanna hurt anyone though when I keep breaking up and finding new RP partners like that. I'm very sensitive to others feelings. At some points it's hard to even know weather or not their character is hurt or the person playing that character is hurt. That's why I get very confused at times.

I have a separate account that I had made specifically for that certain Pokemon character that I play as and no I don't use my real name. They always call me by that characters name mostly, but I do put my first name ONLY on that account since people at times ask me what my real name is. That's about it. I also have a real Facebook that I use for the people that I know in RL or other people on their RL accounts. I don't RP on my RL account at all, because well that would be a bit awkward and I don't want none of my RL friends and family knowing my RP business and plus that would be really silly. So I make a bunch of separate accounts for RPing, but I have one really main one that I use all of the time. The guy I'm friends with on that RP page is also an RP character, maybe he's just jealous though because he wants to have a real actual online relationship with me and I turned him down because I don't trust him. So maybe this is part of why he talks the way he does, but I don't know. Well really not even only him, but another character that dated my character seemed sort of disappointed in me just the other day. He said to still lets be friends and he doesn't care about it anymore though, but I'm still afraid that it does bother him.

I know about other RP places, but I'm really addicted to Facebook right now and use that for mostly everything and I like how you can put yourself "In a relationship" with a certain character or RP person like "In a relationship with (The RP characters name.)" and on real RPing sites they don't have things like this. I mean they have where you can say that you're "In a relationship" but, they don't have it where you can actually add the person to that relationship.

At times I've even had real online relationships with people before. Like ones where I've never even met them face to face, but only once have I ever met someone face to face after dating them online for a while out of all of the people I've ever seriously online dated. Lately I've also been looking into these online dating sites where you find people in your area or even in other states and stuff like that, but I still have not found the right person that I can honestly trust and I don't just meet someone I don't trust. So I'm even having a hard time with that right now.

[Xeno]

Seriously what did I just read? You sound like you might need to see a doctor about this. If you get to the point of crying because you're lonely, that is not normal. Having fake relationships on the Internet in an rp or "real actual online relationships" (lol what are these?) aren't going to fix the very obvious problem that you have. The whole thing about being able to put someone in a relationship with you on a site seems to be indicating something too, but I'm not psychologist so I wouldn't presume to know other than it isn't what a normal person would obsess over.

Chill out on this stuff. RP's are a game. Characters are not real people, and what they do and say are just the characters, not reflections of the players.

Go see a doctor.

[Yuki-Anne]

Oh, okay. I can see how roleplaying with a facebook account might be kind of appealing in that case. I guess my only RP experience has been with message boards and stuff. I can kind of see it now.

Also, it REALLY helps to know about the history with the guy who's criticizing you over it. RL and FB are getting all mixed up and it's creating a mess for you. Honestly, I think you're over-thinking it. If someone gets mad at you over the RP relationship thing when the whole point of the account is RP ONLY relationships, that's kind of their problem. Maybe when you start out just send them a message going, "Hey, look, I know this is kind of weird but I've had people kind of get hurt and I just want to make sure right from the start that we know this is RP ONLY, and when it's over no hard feelings, ok?" That might make things awkward, but in the end it's better than drama.

Also, I'll give you a bit more sympathy than Xeno. I know what it's like to cry out of loneliness. I don't think it's that abnormal. Especially trying to find something to help you get by while you don't have an SO.

[Kaori]

Having a minor frustration when a character you've worked on for a while dies is not what is being talked about here, because that is understandable. Becoming so emotionally invested in a character that the fake relationships between the characters affects you as a real person though is an issue and is not normal. You can certainly roleplay someone being heartbroken over a breakup, but there is no reason why a the player should actually be upset by an RP breakup aside from the slight frustration from lost story-lines.

Okay, you know what, this is not even important anymore; I'm going to focus on a totally different issue based on what Jigzy has said since last night.

At some points it's hard to even know weather or not their character is hurt or the person playing that character is hurt.

So it's difficult to distinguish between the character's emotions and the player's emotions.

I'm really addicted to Facebook

. . . and you consider yourself addicted to Facebook. I'm sorry, but no matter what way you look at this, this is not good. Have you considered trying to get away from FB more rather than investing more time into it?

I just like having RP relationships with my Pokemon RP character due to the fact that I'm single in real life and am very lonely at the moment. So I try to get rid of that stress by using RP relationships to fall back on.

Again, Jigzy, I don't know if you're a Christian or not, but from a Christian perspective you are trying to fill a hole in your life, and the only way to fill that sense of lack that you feel is to be in relationship with God. Whatever goodness you experience in anything in life ultimately comes from God ("every good and perfect gift is from above," James 1:17), and there is nothing that is more satisfying than really spending time with God, being in his presence, and doing work that serves him. I say this from personal experience. That doesn't mean you won't feel any loneliness whatsoever connected to being single, but there is a huge difference in satisfaction between living a life of purpose with God and trying to fill your cravings through things that ultimately can't satisfy.

Second, but also extremely important, is that I think you are going to get a whole lot more satisfaction out of building relationships with people in real life than by trying to fill your loneliness as a single person through RPing romantic relationships. What you are doing seems unhealthy much in the same way that filling that craving by addictively reading romance novels or viewing pornography is unhealthy (though I would assume your RP relationships are probably not sexually explicit, so there is that difference).

So rather than trying to fill that loneliness through fictional relationships, why don't you find some sort of in-person social group to be a part of? Don't worry about trying to find a romantic relationship among the people that you meet, just make friends with them. Once you are satisfied with yourself as a single person and have things in your life that you enjoy, you are much more likely to be able to have a healthy romantic relationship than if you constantly feel incomplete and needy as a single person. There are lots of ways you can find groups of people to hang out with (within your church is an option if you are a regular churchgoer). Just to toss one out that you might like, meetup.com is a website you can use to find groups of people that regularly arrange to meet up in person to pursue a common interest. A quick glance at meetups in my hometown shows meetups for motorcyclists, moms, naturalists, vegetarians and vegans, Spanish, French, cycling, photography, casual co-ed sports, running . . . and there's also a gaming meet-up which in my town happens to have over 1,000 members. This might be something for you to consider; since you like RPing online, why don't you try some face-to-face RPing?

I also have to put in a word for exercise, because any kind of exercise can release endorphins (which give you a sense of happiness and well-being), relieve stress, boost self-confidence, and relieve symptoms of depression and anxiety (source). Even if you don't consider yourself an athletic person, there are so many options--team sports, tennis, ping-pong, yoga, weightlifting, martial arts, walking, jogging, running, hiking, cycling, skiing and snowboarding, and so on--that surely there is some kind of exercise that you can enjoy. Find something that you like doing, and then do it regularly (if you try to make yourself do something you don't enjoy out of a sense of duty because "exercise is good for you," it will be a lot harder to keep up with it).

Finally, I just want to stress again that even if your goal is to be able to have a successful romantic relationship, the best way to go about that is by being happy and fulfilled as a single person. Focus on improving yourself and your relationship with God (if you're a believer) and becoming the person that you want to be. If you feel that you need another person to complete you, the aura of desperation and neediness is going to drive people away, and you're going to be at a greater risk of ending up in an unhealthy relationship.

[Nate]

This almost seems like the perfect thread to put my opinion in due to the fact that I do a lot of ERP because it helps get rid of the loneliness but I've never actually weirded anyone out by it because I do it on a username completely unrelated to anything else I do on the internet and I never do it in places where other people could see it. So I guess I'm not much help at all.

[PandaPop]

I agree with everything Kaori wrote, that was great advice. And I just want to add some experience of mine that may help you feel a little better and not so alone in your situation of "loneliness"
I am 22 years old and I have never even had a boyfriend, and I have only been on one date (a disaster might I add). And this isn't because I was overly sheltered or anything, I am very "normal" if you will, I went to public school, I have had many chances to date, I have been asked out many times, but like you I just haven't found anyone that I am compatible with, and I refuse to waist myself with men I know are not the one God has prepared for me. I'm not going to lie it is hard sometimes, I want that relationship soo bad I can hardly stand it sometimes, but when I feel like that I find peace in knowing that God will make it happen when the time is right, and instead of letting myself get lonely and turning to things like RP relationship ect. I work everyday on improving myself for that man that God is preparing for me. I focus on my studies, hobbies, exercising, improving any issues I have, being a good friend and family member to the people that are in my life right now, and most importantly focusing and improving my relationship with God by reading the bible and dwelling on his amazing powerful words. Well I hope this helps you and gives you some encouragement to know that you can deal with the loneliness, it is possible through God, and you definitely are not the only girl out there waiting for her man , I wish you luck and you have my prayers.

[ClaecElric4God]

^This. Everything PandaPop said, 100%. I couldn't agree more. I'm still trying to get over how thoroughly I agree with her.
Seriously, lately I'm seeing so much of single Christians being incredibly lonely and not knowing what to do with themselves, and neglecting their relationship with God. It's easy for me to say, because I've never felt lonely or had the desire to be married, but like PandaPop said, it is possible by the grace of God, and if you honor your relationship with Him, he'll honor that, and bring you the right spouse. Give Him a little credit, He knows what He's doing.

[Atria35]

Okay, first things first. I am an rper. I have done forums, LARPing, dungeons and dragons, the whole bit. I am also 25 and single. And I understand the whole loneliness bit. But. Butbutbut. I keep my rp off Facebook. Facebook is a very bad place to use for things like rp because Facebook s never meant for it. Facebook is supposed to be an online extension of real life, a way to communicate with others. Already there are a bajillion issues with it, because people have trouble dealing with their online vs public personas... Or even the personas they show on Facebook versus what they show their parents and friends.

Making a page for a character you play blurs that line all that much more. I would never do it because there has to be some lines between what I use in fantasy versus reality! If you using the same social media for your fantasy personas (I label them that, because when I rp I am playing pretend) and your real life friendships and relationships, then I think I can see why you would have problems with dealing with telling the differences between the feelings of the other characters and their players.

Now, I'm not saying that when you rp, it's not okay to be involved with your characters emotions and feel for their relationships... Or non-relationships. I mean, that's the whole point of having a story. People were emotionally affected by Harry Potter, and Avatar: The Last Airbender, or Firefly. The essence of any good story is to have characters that you relate to and feel for! And I thoroughly believe that when they are characters that you create, you tend to be even more into them because you really know the inside and out.

I am a bit of a romance junkie when I come to my rp characters. I like having them in relationships. I think it's cute. But creating a fb page and searching out characters to be in relationships with on there is going to an uncomfortable level with it. You said that you don't care for forums because no one can see right there's that you're in a relationship with someone. Well, guess what? They aren't on fb either unless they search out your profile. And who is looking at that?

Practically no one.

Scale it back a bit. Stick with forums (and most well-built ones do have plot and relationship tracking areas so relationships are just as visible as on fb). ReMember that you are creating a story. That's what an rp is - a very long, individualized story.

If you adore romances, then go for it! Nearly all my characters are in one because I find them fun and interesting ways to develop my characters. Plus it's cute. But remember that things said IC are IC only. I can personally attest that once upon a time I got involved OOC with someone my character was involved in IC, and things got really ugly, really fast. So now I stick to forums where there are lots of people and lots of relationship options so I don't lose my head again. It's safer all around.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Do you have some sort of social outlet where you can meet or spend one with people? Maybe put yourself out there a little bit more? Personally I don't see anything wrong with casually dating a little bit here and there. If both parties just do it to test the waters and see what the other person is like then why not? Things only become big deals if you make them out to be big deals.

[Nate]

when I feel like that I find peace in knowing that God will make it happen when the time is right, and instead of letting myself get lonely and turning to things like RP relationship ect.

It's easy for me to say, because I've never felt lonely or had the desire to be married

[Yuki-Anne]

Yeah, I prayed a lot and tried to be content but that didn't change me really, REALLY wanting a relationship. I had good days of contentment and peace but I also had some nights where I was just praying, "God, you know what I want more than anything, and I know every gift is from you. I don't know how long I have to wait but I have to believe you wouldn't create me to want something this badly if you weren't going to give it to me at some point..."

Giving it up to God didn't really make it any less painful. It just meant that in spite of my pain I was willing to say, "I trust you."

[Jigzy]

Having a minor frustration when a character you've worked on for a while dies is not what is being talked about here, because that is understandable. Becoming so emotionally invested in a character that the fake relationships between the characters affects you as a real person though is an issue and is not normal. You can certainly roleplay someone being heartbroken over a breakup, but there is no reason why a the player should actually be upset by an RP breakup aside from the slight frustration from lost story-lines.

Okay, you know what, this is not even important anymore; I'm going to focus on a totally different issue based on what Jigzy has said since last night.

At some points it's hard to even know weather or not their character is hurt or the person playing that character is hurt.

So it's difficult to distinguish between the character's emotions and the player's emotions.

I'm really addicted to Facebook

. . . and you consider yourself addicted to Facebook. I'm sorry, but no matter what way you look at this, this is not good. Have you considered trying to get away from FB more rather than investing more time into it?

I just like having RP relationships with my Pokemon RP character due to the fact that I'm single in real life and am very lonely at the moment. So I try to get rid of that stress by using RP relationships to fall back on.

Again, Jigzy, I don't know if you're a Christian or not, but from a Christian perspective you are trying to fill a hole in your life, and the only way to fill that sense of lack that you feel is to be in relationship with God. Whatever goodness you experience in anything in life ultimately comes from God ("every good and perfect gift is from above," James 1:17), and there is nothing that is more satisfying than really spending time with God, being in his presence, and doing work that serves him. I say this from personal experience. That doesn't mean you won't feel any loneliness whatsoever connected to being single, but there is a huge difference in satisfaction between living a life of purpose with God and trying to fill your cravings through things that ultimately can't satisfy.

Second, but also extremely important, is that I think you are going to get a whole lot more satisfaction out of building relationships with people in real life than by trying to fill your loneliness as a single person through RPing romantic relationships. What you are doing seems unhealthy much in the same way that filling that craving by addictively reading romance novels or viewing pornography is unhealthy (though I would assume your RP relationships are probably not sexually explicit, so there is that difference).

So rather than trying to fill that loneliness through fictional relationships, why don't you find some sort of in-person social group to be a part of? Don't worry about trying to find a romantic relationship among the people that you meet, just make friends with them. Once you are satisfied with yourself as a single person and have things in your life that you enjoy, you are much more likely to be able to have a healthy romantic relationship than if you constantly feel incomplete and needy as a single person. There are lots of ways you can find groups of people to hang out with (within your church is an option if you are a regular churchgoer). Just to toss one out that you might like, meetup.com is a website you can use to find groups of people that regularly arrange to meet up in person to pursue a common interest. A quick glance at meetups in my hometown shows meetups for motorcyclists, moms, naturalists, vegetarians and vegans, Spanish, French, cycling, photography, casual co-ed sports, running . . . and there's also a gaming meet-up which in my town happens to have over 1,000 members. This might be something for you to consider; since you like RPing online, why don't you try some face-to-face RPing?

I also have to put in a word for exercise, because any kind of exercise can release endorphins (which give you a sense of happiness and well-being), relieve stress, boost self-confidence, and relieve symptoms of depression and anxiety (source). Even if you don't consider yourself an athletic person, there are so many options--team sports, tennis, ping-pong, yoga, weightlifting, martial arts, walking, jogging, running, hiking, cycling, skiing and snowboarding, and so on--that surely there is some kind of exercise that you can enjoy. Find something that you like doing, and then do it regularly (if you try to make yourself do something you don't enjoy out of a sense of duty because "exercise is good for you," it will be a lot harder to keep up with it).

Finally, I just want to stress again that even if your goal is to be able to have a successful romantic relationship, the best way to go about that is by being happy and fulfilled as a single person. Focus on improving yourself and your relationship with God (if you're a believer) and becoming the person that you want to be. If you feel that you need another person to complete you, the aura of desperation and neediness is going to drive people away, and you're going to be at a greater risk of ending up in an unhealthy relationship.

Yes, I am very much a Christian. Why else would I even be on this site if I wasn't? So I'm Autistic and have a hard time getting out and meeting people. Currently I'm trying to get myself out there in the real world, but for now I've just been settling for RP relationships to keep me from exploding from loneliness. I believe in God and I know he answers prayers. A lot of of you keep telling me these same things over and over again that everyone is saying on here, like to wait for God and all. I mean I already know that. They say just give up and wait for God, but really everything else in my life right now is just the same old thing, it get's boring and an RP relationship makes things just a bit more worth the while, while I wait for the right person to really come along in my life.