Is it possible that feelings of loneliness is the result of feeling condemned by God?

[dothackzero]

I mean, in my mind I know I'm not condemned by God. But is it possible that on a deeper level I really don't know that yet?

Also is it possible that shyness is the result of feeling condemned or rejected by other people if you open up to them?

[Lynna]

Feeling condemned by God? Well, it depends how you look about it. If someone felt condemned by God, they might feel lonely, but not all feelings of loneliness are a result of feeling condemned by God. I feel lonely without feeling condemned by God quite often. It is possible that subconsciously you still feel condemned by God.

However, as to whether your shyness is a result of feeling rejected or condemned by people, maybe. As someone who regularly listens to a therapist rant about psychology, there's a good possibility of that, especially if you were rejected by a parent. However, I don't really know enough about you to make such a judgement, and I highly suggest you see a psychologist yourself about it. It's true that not all therapists are great and it might take a while to find someone who suits you, but it has the potential to help you a lot.

[K. Ayato]

Sounds more like you're punishing yourself unknowingly while looking for a more acceptable reason in something or someone else.

[dothackzero]

Feeling condemned by God? Well, it depends how you look about it. If someone felt condemned by God, they might feel lonely, but not all feelings of loneliness are a result of feeling condemned by God. I feel lonely without feeling condemned by God quite often. It is possible that subconsciously you still feel condemned by God.

I'm talking a lot more on the subconscious level. I mean that I know all the basics about our righteousness and how Jesus didn't come to condemn us. But yeah, it could be that it just hasn't gotten down to the subconscious level yet.

However, as to whether your shyness is a result of feeling rejected or condemned by people, maybe. As someone who regularly listens to a therapist rant about psychology, there's a good possibility of that, especially if you were rejected by a parent. However, I don't really know enough about you to make such a judgement, and I highly suggest you see a psychologist yourself about it. It's true that not all therapists are great and it might take a while to find someone who suits you, but it has the potential to help you a lot.

I don't exactly feel rejected by my parents, but they do tend to pick out everything I'm doing wrong all the time. Though I was also bullied during elementary and high school. I also did get totally rejected by a girl a couple weeks ago, and after that the loneliness got a lot worse. But at the same time when it happened it didn't too hard for first few days, so I'm not really sure how much that has to do with it.

There's also the possibility it's also has something to do with my relationship with God. I mean, I can talk to him about anything but at the same time I'm not feeling the close intimacy that I know could be getting from God. I mean, I am a introvert and introverts can survive on a few close but very deep friendships...

[Zarn Ishtare]

This may sound completely ridiculous, and I cannot remember a time when I listened to advice on the internet, but if you will, do the following.


sleep. I'm serious, minimum six hours at night, preferably eight. Sleep affects us in more ways than current science can explain, but mood is definitely one of them.

eat. Look at what you are putting in your body; are you eating healthy? And not "Well I eat a salad in between pizzas" but are you actually eating healthy?

run. So much of the tension and aggressive energy we build up can be done away with by some kind of physical activity.

Stop. When we get depressed, it feels like you are sliding down a slick wall with no handholds; the brain gets caught in the loop, and it sucks. Try and stop thinking for a short period of time; distract yourself, read a book, watch something, call somebody. Part of depression is frustration when your mind cannot figure out the proper ending of the problem; or cannot escape the loop of depression. Take a few deep breathes, and then go on, but learn how to break the cycle mid stream

pray. Prayer is not just a way to get God to do stuff. Or to plead for forgiveness. Pray out of joy, pray in the times of plenty, as well as the time of rain. Pray when it is bright, not just when life is raining. Have a conversation with god, and understand the sound of silence; specifically, the silence of God.


talk. Talk to your parents, your pastor, your trusted senior peers.

Do the above and the majority of your issue should fade.

[Azier the Swordsman]

What Zarn said. As someone who struggled with loneliness and depression most of my life, I would also add a few things:

Take up a hobby. Something artistic. Something that you can show around. Whether writing, painting, learning an instrument, ect. Something that you can lose yourself in from time to time.

Make a point of going new places (if you can) on a regular basis. Try new things. Try to do new things and have new experiences.

Try to join groups of special interests that you can be with face to face, not online. Whether in your school, or searching to see what might be in your local area. Trust me, it doesn't matter if you've been bullied or rejected a lot (I was too), there's always people out there who you can click with and become friends and will accept you for who you are. You just have to go searching.

Set goals for yourself and accomplish them. Whatever you want. Whether an educational goal, work goal, or something you've just always wanted to do. Something you can focus your mind onto doing (that's relatively challenging) rather than focusing on how you feel 24/7.

Go out and do things to help others. Volunteer at charities. Volunteer at your church. Volunteer in groups that go out and do things to help people. This will help you most of all, I think. When we do for others, it fully takes the focus off of ourselves. It can be healing, restorative, and it's very likely you'll come to feel much closer to God by doing so. I speak from personal experience.

Just because you are lonely does not mean you are condemned by God. God loves you, infinitely more than you could ever imagine. You feel lonely because we live in a broken world. It's natural to feel that way in a broken world. We can't escape it as long as we live, but we still have the ability to choose what we will do in response.

You possibly feel shy the way I used to, many negative social experiences, not enough positive social experiences. With more positive social experiences, that shyness will completely fall away. I recommend seeking friendships with extremely social people who have large groups of friends and letting their personalities rub off on you.

[Xeno]

Try to join groups of special interests that you can be with face to face, not online. Whether in your school, or searching to see what might be in your local area. Trust me, it doesn't matter if you've been bullied or rejected a lot (I was too), there's always people out there who you can click with and become friends and will accept you for who you are. You just have to go searching.

I'm just going to link this because I'm not sure it's been connected properly to this thread from the old one, http://dothackzero.ytmnd.com

[Zarn Ishtare]

Also; follow advice, don't just ask it. I say this from experience.

[SierraLea]

I'll just say this. God never condemned anyone, not even Satan. Those who are not in God's grace chose not to be. They knew about God and shunned Him and everything He is. I doubt you have done this. So, you are not condemned in any way, shape, or form.

[Yuki-Anne]

I mean, in my mind I know I'm not condemned by God. But is it possible that on a deeper level I really don't know that yet?

Also is it possible that shyness is the result of feeling condemned or rejected by other people if you open up to them?

No. Again, this looks like you're avoiding taking responsibility for your own actions and feelings, and pushing it off on others. I'm pretty shy sometimes. It happened when I got to Japan. I was not really shy at all in America, especially in college. Incidentally, my not-shyness in college didn't help in the romance department, so if you're thinking you can't get a girl because you're shy, think again.

But I could separate the shyness and realize that my shyness in Japan was not a result of people rejecting or condemning me, but because I was in a situation in which I didn't feel entirely comfortable being gregarious. That's all there is to it. You're shy because for whatever reason you're uncomfortable with your social scene. It's not because of anybody but you. Even if people did condemn or reject you, how you respond to that is ENTIRELY up to you. I had people condemn and reject me in college. Did it hurt? Yeah, it really did. I didn't like it. I was terrified that people thought I was annoying and just wanted me to go away. But did that stop me from making friends and having fun? No. No it did not, because in the end, I realized that there were plenty of people who liked me as I am, and I had no reason to be anything other than me around them.

How do you make friends like that? By refusing to fear rejection. By just accepting that you are who you are, and they are who they are. You're not going to have great chemistry with EVERYBODY, but you're going to have fantastic chemistry with SOME people, and that's really the best and most natural thing. So what if someone condemns you for being you? Just accept that they have a right to feel what they feel, and you have a right to feel what you feel. It's about boundaries, my friends. You are responsible for you and nobody else. You'll have an easier time once you learn to just accept you for you, and accept others for who they are as well.



Also, just a side note, accepting you for you doesn't mean you don't work on your flaws. A big part of accepting who you are is learning what parts of you are unacceptable and working to fix them. We all have unacceptable parts, and rejection does help us to figure out what those parts are so we can be better in the future.