How do I explain Christ to an 8 year old without angering parents

[Gala]

Hey guys,

I'm a tutor to two wonderful little boys in a home where I am not sure about the family religious convictions. However, the oldest boy (age 8) keeps asking me about "That Jesus guy who died on that cross thingy and God". He vaguely heard about Him one day in class while listening to the other students but is afraid to go ask them about Him.

I don't want to anger the parents but I know I was placed with this family for a reason. I did give this boy a vague description of God and what Jesus did for our sins but he is dying to know more. How do I go about this subject? Should I talk to the dad first (he's the only one who speaks fluent English out of the parents and other adults) or should I just try to teach him myself?


I'm used to being asked by adults and not children and I know that preaching or teaching Christ to children whose parents are against it or may be against it, can cause problems.

I just feel in my heart of hearts that this is what I am supposed to do and why I was placed with this family.

[Atria35]

Fisr and foremost, you talk to his parents. Both of them. You're job isn't to teach this kid religion, and that's something that you should be respectful of. Approach it the same way that you would want someone to handle it if it were *your* kid and a different religion. And that means putting EVERYTHING through the parents.

[Xeno]

Fisr and foremost, you talk to his parents. Both of them. You're job isn't to teach this kid religion, and that's something that you should be respectful of. Approach it the same way that you would want someone to handle it if it were *your* kid and a different religion. And that means putting EVERYTHING through the parents.

This. This. THIS!

It is not your place to start filling the head of someone else's kid with your religious beliefs without their consent. You ask the parents, if they're okay with it then you let them know exactly what it is you plan to teach this kid, if they object then you LEAVE THE SUBJECT ALONE. If the kid brings it up, you sidestep it and go to another topic. As you said, you don't know their religious beliefs, they might be muslim, or hindu, or atheist, or purely agnostic and do not want their children learning about christ because they don't believe it, and just because you do doesn't give you the right to overrule their feelings and choices.

Side note: I'm not much of a fan of indoctrinating children with religion as it is anyway. My own views is that children are too susceptible to believe anything they're told and religious instruction should wait until they're in their teens at the earliest. If they choose to accept the supposed teachings of Jesus or Mohammed or Buddha or the tenants of Scientology when they're fifteen and just hearing these thing for the first time then that is different, but telling an 8 year old these things and everything that goes along with it when they're really too young to even rationalize the difference between reality and their Saturday morning cartoons (I'm not sure if these are still a thing, they were when I was a kid) is almost criminal.

[Gala]

I figured that much because I know that if someone approached my daughter I would want them to ask me first but the bigger question, I guess, would be.. how do I approach the subject with the father?

The mother only speaks Chinese and my Chinese is very limited at best.

Just to clarify my vague description it went like this: "Some people believe that a man, Jesus, was perfect and did no wrong and he was God's son."

I did not want to get further than that but he kept asking and asking. I did not want to say that much without parental permission but after running that response past my boss, she said that it was a good response to give and she agreed with my decision to side step the question until permission is given to talk further about it.

[Atria35]

"Your son heard something about Christianity at school. I'm Christian, and he's been asking me about it. Would it be okay if I explained my religion to him?"

If you're given permission, then explain it in the most cut-and-dried terms you can. Do not go preaching or evangelizing, because that's overstepping the boundaries as a tutor - it's best that you approach it in an educational way, since that's your primary responsibility to this family, and it would come off far better.

[Gala]

"Your son heard something about Christianity at school. I'm Christian, and he's been asking me about it. Would it be okay if I explained my religion to him?"

If you're given permission, then explain it in the most cut-and-dried terms you can. Do not go preaching or evangelizing, because that's overstepping the boundaries as a tutor - it's best that you approach it in an educational way, since that's your primary responsibility to this family, and it would come off far better.

This approach makes sense to me. I was just trying to run it by fellow Christians and try to get an opinion on how to approach this. Thank you.

Also, would I be overstepping my boundaries as his tutor if I were to suggest he research for himself?

[Xeno]

Maybe not overstepping your boundaries, but that can certainly lead into some very murky waters. Have you ever actually read some of the things that are in the bible? There is some crazy stuff in there. It's not just love, peace, and hope. There is a ton of genocide, rape, pillaging, incest, backstabbing, etc. This would only raise more questions in an eight year olds mind.

e: almost forgot the massive racial, social, and gender inequalities that are enforced by law in the bible. Adults have trouble reconciling these things, an eight year old is not going to be able to.

[Atria35]

Just as a note, it's probably best to think and practice how you'd word things to a child. 'Sin' might be a word that the kid can't really understand - " Christians like me believe Jesus died to make up for all the bad things people have ever done," would be more direct and simple.

And like Xeno said, there's a LOT of bad things that happen in the Bible (especially in the OT) that God orders his people to do or that happen in general, and it's very probable that he'd come across those. (not that I advocate lying and pretending it didn't happen, but yeah). And there are SO MANY resources that letting the kid loose in a library means that he'd have two or three entire shelves of things to read in the religion section alone. And all of them would be waaay above the understanding of an 8 year old. And that doesn't even begin to touch on the fact that every book would explore a diferent facet of Christianity, which would complicate the issue even more - he'd have something on Catholicism alongside C. S. Lewis alongside a book on how the Bible can't be taken literally etc. etc. etc.

It's not a matter of overstepping your boundaries as a tutor, but it just isn't a good idea in general.

[Gala]

Maybe not overstepping your boundaries, but that can certainly lead into some very murky waters. Have you ever actually read some of the things that are in the bible? There is some crazy stuff in there. It's not just love, peace, and hope. There is a ton of genocide, rape, pillaging, incest, backstabbing, etc. This would only raise more questions in an eight year olds mind.

e: almost forgot the massive racial, social, and gender inequalities that are enforced by law in the bible. Adults have trouble reconciling these things, an eight year old is not going to be able to.

I have studied the Bible in depth and that is definitely a concern. I will be having a conversation with the father this evening if he is there. (Often I'm left with the grandparents who don't speak ANY English). If he allows it, I will teach it. If not, I will have to continue to sidestep the conversation into something else. It is hard to distract this young boy from his desire to learn, though.

[Atria35]

If it really becomes an issue, then be direct:
"I know you're curious about Christianity. But I wasn't hired to teach you about Christianity, and since religion is a touchy subject for a lot of people, I can't teach you about it without your parents' permission."

Problem solved.

[MrKrillz0r]

Pray for guidance and wisdom regarding this, if it really is what God has called you to do then He will surely help you through. Also if you are part of a church that you trust you could talk to them about the issue. Other than that I don't feel like I have the wisdom or knowledge to say anything, but I'll be praying for you! :>

[Atria35]

Pray for guidance and wisdom regarding this, if it really is what God has called you to do then He will surely help you through. Also if you are part of a church that you trust you could talk to them about the issue. Other than that I don't feel like I have the wisdom or knowledge to say anything, but I'll be praying for you! :>

Krillz, ask yourself how you would feel if someone of another religion felt convicted to teach your kid about that religion. And I mean Paganism, Buddhism, Zoroastrianism, whatever- just something that wasn't Christianity.

I'm sure that you would not be happy and would have wanted them to come by you first.

That's how this should operate. No covert evagelism, no nothing. Just outright asking the parents.

[Gala]

Pray for guidance and wisdom regarding this, if it really is what God has called you to do then He will surely help you through. Also if you are part of a church that you trust you could talk to them about the issue. Other than that I don't feel like I have the wisdom or knowledge to say anything, but I'll be praying for you! :>

Krillz, ask yourself how you would feel if someone of another religion felt convicted to teach your kid about that religion. And I mean Paganism, Buddhism, Zoroastrianism, whatever- just something that wasn't Christianity.

I'm sure that you would not be happy and would have wanted them to come by you first.

That's how this should operate. No covert evagelism, no nothing. Just outright asking the parents.

I do believe I need to pray about this situation, regardless of the fact that I am going to talk to the father. I have been praying for wisdom and guidance as to how to approach the situation and for acceptance by both parents. So far, they both know I am a Christian (they asked me what I did in my free time and I was very honest) and they both were very accepting of the fact that I write evangelical articles when I feel so led. I'm just praying at this point that no offense is made and that IF the dad says I may teach his child about Christianity, that I do it correctly and without being too preachy.

[MrKrillz0r]

Pray for guidance and wisdom regarding this, if it really is what God has called you to do then He will surely help you through. Also if you are part of a church that you trust you could talk to them about the issue. Other than that I don't feel like I have the wisdom or knowledge to say anything, but I'll be praying for you! :>

Krillz, ask yourself how you would feel if someone of another religion felt convicted to teach your kid about that religion. And I mean Paganism, Buddhism, Zoroastrianism, whatever- just something that wasn't Christianity.

I'm sure that you would not be happy and would have wanted them to come by you first.

That's how this should operate. No covert evagelism, no nothing. Just outright asking the parents.

I gave my advice which was to pray about it, and of course to ask people for their thoughts. I did not say I disagree with what you guys had said, rather than that I personally think that asking the parents would be a good thing to do. But that would be something I'd really pray about beforehand, since it could become some very important conversations. I feel like you think I am advocating for something completely different because I said I don't have any knowledge about the matter. Anyway I hope that everything is cleared up now, sorry if I gave the wrong "feel". ^_^

[Gala]

Pray for guidance and wisdom regarding this, if it really is what God has called you to do then He will surely help you through. Also if you are part of a church that you trust you could talk to them about the issue. Other than that I don't feel like I have the wisdom or knowledge to say anything, but I'll be praying for you! :>

Krillz, ask yourself how you would feel if someone of another religion felt convicted to teach your kid about that religion. And I mean Paganism, Buddhism, Zoroastrianism, whatever- just something that wasn't Christianity.

I'm sure that you would not be happy and would have wanted them to come by you first.

That's how this should operate. No covert evagelism, no nothing. Just outright asking the parents.

I gave my advice which was to pray about it, and of course to ask people for their thoughts. I did not say I disagree with what you guys had said, rather than that I personally think that asking the parents would be a good thing to do. But that would be something I'd really pray about beforehand, since it could become some very important conversations. I feel like you think I am advocating for something completely different because I said I don't have any knowledge about the matter. Anyway I hope that everything is cleared up now, sorry if I gave the wrong "feel". ^_^

I understood what you meant. That is why I specified that I will be praying regardless.

[MrKrillz0r]

I understood what you meant. That is why I specified that I will be praying regardless.

Hehe I feel like Atria may have not, so I wanted her to know. ^_^ Anyway, I'm glad you got it.

[ChristianKitsune]

Hey guys I moved this to Christian Growth Q and A, please ask all questions about Christian Growth here. That way you are sure to get answers more adequately.
Regards,
Kitchan.

[Atria35]

I gave my advice which was to pray about it, and of course to ask people for their thoughts. I did not say I disagree with what you guys had said, rather than that I personally think that asking the parents would be a good thing to do. But that would be something I'd really pray about beforehand, since it could become some very important conversations. I feel like you think I am advocating for something completely different because I said I don't have any knowledge about the matter. Anyway I hope that everything is cleared up now, sorry if I gave the wrong "feel". ^_^

Yeah, I jumped prematurely. What I was really objecting to was asking the church and/or pastor about it. But I tend to, since ... a surprising amount of my friends belong to denominations that would encourage someone to go ahead and talk (meaning preach and convert) the kid behind the parent's back, regardless of the parent's wishes. And that always, always gets me because I don't think that particular behaviour is respectful or right.

Prayer is perfectly fine, I totally think that's a good thing to do.

[SierraLea]

First, I would ask the parents to avoid stepping on anyone's toes. Just explain the circumstances. Who knows, they might even address it themselves.

I would explain it as someone who loved them enough to take their punishment. There are a lot of ways to take the fundamentals of Jesus and tone it down to a kid's level. I think the most important thing would be to teach that Jesus and God love him.

[Atria35]

I think the most important thing would be to teach that Jesus and God love him.

The issue with this is that it crosses the line of 'teaching about Christianity' and goes straight into evangelization - and while the parents might approve of teaching about Christianity, evangelizing is a whole other can of worms and should be avoided like the red button. You do not go there.

[Vilo159]

I think the most important thing would be to teach that Jesus and God love him.

The issue with this is that it crosses the line of 'teaching about Christianity' and goes straight into evangelization - and while the parents might approve of teaching about Christianity, evangelizing is a whole other can of worms and should be avoided like the red button. You do not go there.

At least, not until he show continued interest in learning the principles of Christianity and not without permission.

[Atria35]

I think the most important thing would be to teach that Jesus and God love him.

The issue with this is that it crosses the line of 'teaching about Christianity' and goes straight into evangelization - and while the parents might approve of teaching about Christianity, evangelizing is a whole other can of worms and should be avoided like the red button. You do not go there.

At least, not until he show continued interest in learning the principles of Christianity and not without permission.

1. Continued interest in learning the principles of Christianity can still be pure curiosity and educational (especially since there are so many denominations - it's fairly educational to research them all).

2. 'Not without permission' is unclear. if you mean if OP gets permission to evangelize, specifically (i.e. laying out 'I want your child to be Christian' and them saying yes), then teaching 'God loves you' is indeed perfectly acceptable. If you mean that permission to teach Christianity means she has the right to evangelize? No, because permission to teach about Christianity is NOT the same as having permission to evangelize. One can teach about Christianity without evangelizing - that's what all the 'Christianity for Dummies' and similar books on religion (not necessarily pertaining to Christianity) do. They teach without the purpose of conversion. Parents can want their child educated about a religion without wanting that teacher to convert their child.

[Vilo159]

1. Continued interest in learning the principles of Christianity can still be pure curiosity and educational (especially since there are so many denominations - it's fairly educational to research them all).

2. 'Not without permission' is unclear. if you mean if OP gets permission to evangelize, specifically (i.e. laying out 'I want your child to be Christian' and them saying yes), then teaching 'God loves you' is indeed perfectly acceptable. If you mean that permission to teach Christianity means she has the right to evangelize? No, because permission to teach about Christianity is NOT the same as having permission to evangelize. One can teach about Christianity without evangelizing - that's what all the 'Christianity for Dummies' and similar books on religion (not necessarily pertaining to Christianity) do. They teach without the purpose of conversion. Parents can want their child educated about a religion without wanting that teacher to convert their child.

1. Yeah, I know. I didnt mean evangelism, I just meant teaching him of our basic beliefs. If he's interested , he'll want to know more than historical stuff about the man the religion is based on. So with the parents permission, if he's interested, I think it would be ok to teach him some of the basic beliefs, of which God's love is a big one. Maybe not that exact phrasing, like saying everyone instead of directly saying you. Not evangelism, just informative.

2. I mean permission exactly how everyone else here means it: from the parents. I don't mean permission to teach means the right to evangelize, I mean getting permission to teach in a purely academic sense. I agree with you, I'm not advocating she just go try and convert this kid, I'm just saying its not a bad thing to teach him about the religion like a "Christianity for Dummies" book would.

And if the kid still wants to know more, then she coukd say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry, I can't teach you anything else without getting into my specific denomination's beliefs." And if he still wants to know that, she goes to the parents again. If the unlikely possibility of them agreeing allows it, then she teaches him about the beliefs of her denomination. in a purely academic way, without evangelism. And if he is interezted, you AGAIN go to the parents and THEN get permission to evangelize.

The chances of the parents to agreeing to anything close to that much is EXTREMELY unlikely, the chances of the kid wanting to know close to that much is unlikely, but it could happen. And if it were, it would be done with extreme caution and under the guidance of a church leader who could guide her through it. The parents would need to be aware of every move, and it would probably be best if they were there when she was teaching this stuff. I'm not advocating evangelizing without permission, I'm just being optimistic.

[Xeno]

The better course of action would be to give a cursory overview of Christianity (as we've already covered) and then end it. Not this back and forth with the parents thing or anything else. She is there to tutor this kid in other subjects, not Christianity. It's honestly kind of ridiculous when a Christian can't just say the general concept of the religion and then move on and forget about it.

[Vilo159]

The better course of action would be to give a cursory overview of Christianity (as we've already covered) and then end it. Not this back and forth with the parents thing or anything else. She is there to tutor this kid in other subjects, not Christianity. It's honestly kind of ridiculous when a Christian can't just say the general concept of the religion and then move on and forget about it.

Its not like she would be using the time she usually tutors with, she would do this on other time. Anyone can be a missionary, regardless of their previous relations. Being a tutor would be completely separate from being a religion teacher. And we also mentioned that this would only happen if the kid keeps asking; you're very right that it wouldnt be a good idea to try and keep this up of our own accord. But I see nothing wrong with teaching him if he wants to learn and its all ok with the authorities at hand.

[K. Ayato]

It's still a big if.

[Vilo159]

It's still a big if.

Of course it is. Like I said, I'm being overly optimistic. Realistically, his parents will probably say no to teaching any more than the very basics, and after a little while he'll lose interest. But There's no harm in being optimistic about it.

[randomuser2349]

You could always get him some Christian kids shows. Try VeggieTales.

[Red_web_city]

Jesus taught us not to forsake the children, and to preach the gospel to every creature therefore if it is a matter of keeping his parents from being offended or hating you for it then know tbat the word clarly reveals that the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy, and if you are sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise because of your faith than it is God who is in you that will do the talking. Never fear anything when it comes to spreading the truth especially when it is to soneone who asks. Also if you are reproached, or confronted by the parents know that The Spirit wilm give you the words that they cannot contradict or resist. Amen

[Crossfire]

Jesus taught us not to forsake the children, and to preach the gospel to every creature therefore if it is a matter of keeping his parents from being offended or hating you for it then know tbat the word clarly reveals that the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy, and if you are sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise because of your faith than it is God who is in you that will do the talking. Never fear anything when it comes to spreading the truth especially when it is to soneone who asks. Also if you are reproached, or confronted by the parents know that The Spirit wilm give you the words that they cannot contradict or resist. Amen

I don't think you understand how this works. In many countries, there's this thing called "separatism of the Church and State", meaning that religious authorities are not to meddle in the affairs of politics and state-funded education. As a secular teacher, it's not in your quota to go willy-nilly in an attempt to convert kids to a different belief, good intentions or not... much less without a parent or guardian's consent.



And while it's not in my power to make demands...