Still not feeling accepted around others...

[Yuki-Anne]

Maybe it's just me, but I feel like some people really read a lot more into dot's posts than was actually called for. For example, when he said he got his "daily dose" of Jesus, I did not infer that to mean he was doing the bare minimum, but rather that he is taking care to spend at least a little time on a daily basis thinking about and learning about Jesus. Honestly, sometimes that's more than I can say for myself.

I'm not defending the crude joke. Dot, that is something that you should probably stop, because it's not attractive and it doesn't help anybody, much less girls, to respect you. And, as others are saying, when you say something that upsets people, sometimes you just need to say, "I'm sorry," and not try to defend offensive behavior.

That being said, I understand that some of you guys are getting frustrated with dot and all, but that's no reason to resort to insults or insulting behavior, and I feel that some of the posts in this thread qualify as that. The harshness with which some of you are repeatedly posting is making me sad. To judge dot's spiritual state is presumptuous, at best, and I think it would do this thread a lot of good to drop the accusations that he is just doing the minimum to get by or that his relationship with God is in trouble. If anyone who was not a very close friend said that to me, I'd be livid.

Regardless of the content of dot's posts or the opacity with which he attempts to explain himself (which he has admitted he is not so good at), we ought to be treating our brother with courtesy and kindness. It's making me sad that I'm not seeing that.

[tronethiel7]

Don't get me wrong. Bible study and reading, etc. can be a hard and even sometimes grueling process. Not because of preference so much as, we are sin all of a sinful kind, and our flesh rejects the very idea of His word. Any desire for discipline and growth is something half of us is fighting adamantly (aka. our sinful flesh). The one thing that God gives us control over, at least to an extent, is the consistency of our action. It is easier to act our way into a feeling, than to feel our way into an action. Not in the since of being legalistic, but the passions given us by the spirit are usually developed because we are increasing the ways which the spirit can work through us. That is why any spiritual growth experienced is not your self-improvement but the sanctification of the spirit. This occurs through the spiritual disciplines (aka, serving, studying, fellowship with other believers, worship, etc.) and all are integrally important.

"All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work." - 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Maybe it's just me, but I feel like some people really read a lot more into dot's posts than was actually called for. For example, when he said he got his "daily dose" of Jesus, I did not infer that to mean he was doing the bare minimum, but rather that he is taking care to spend at least a little time on a daily basis thinking about and learning about Jesus. Honestly, sometimes that's more than I can say for myself.

I'm not defending the crude joke. Dot, that is something that you should probably stop, because it's not attractive and it doesn't help anybody, much less girls, to respect you. And, as others are saying, when you say something that upsets people, sometimes you just need to say, "I'm sorry," and not try to defend offensive behavior.

That being said, I understand that some of you guys are getting frustrated with dot and all, but that's no reason to resort to insults or insulting behavior, and I feel that some of the posts in this thread qualify as that. The harshness with which some of you are repeatedly posting is making me sad. To judge dot's spiritual state is presumptuous, at best, and I think it would do this thread a lot of good to drop the accusations that he is just doing the minimum to get by or that his relationship with God is in trouble. If anyone who was not a very close friend said that to me, I'd be livid.

Regardless of the content of dot's posts or the opacity with which he attempts to explain himself (which he has admitted he is not so good at), we ought to be treating our brother with courtesy and kindness. It's making me sad that I'm not seeing that.

Irrevocably and utterly, this. An example verse that should make us wary of our motive and attitude:

"Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself." Galatians 6:1-3
But eager to help! in a "spirit of gentleness"

[Xeno]

Please use the edit button instead of double-posting.

[tronethiel7]

Please use the edit button instead of double-posting.

Sorry on that one. Didn't notice until after!

[Mr. SmartyPants]

That being said, I understand that some of you guys are getting frustrated with dot and all, but that's no reason to resort to insults or insulting behavior, and I feel that some of the posts in this thread qualify as that. The harshness with which some of you are repeatedly posting is making me sad. To judge dot's spiritual state is presumptuous, at best, and I think it would do this thread a lot of good to drop the accusations that he is just doing the minimum to get by or that his relationship with God is in trouble. If anyone who was not a very close friend said that to me, I'd be livid.

Regardless of the content of dot's posts or the opacity with which he attempts to explain himself (which he has admitted he is not so good at), we ought to be treating our brother with courtesy and kindness. It's making me sad that I'm not seeing that.

You just spared me from having to say basically what you're saying. Thank you.

[armeck]

Regardless of the content of dot's posts or the opacity with which he attempts to explain himself (which he has admitted he is not so good at)

At least no one can say he isn't honest.

[Yuki-Anne]

The point of my post, sir. I believe you may have missed it.

Seriously, can we just stop putting him down? It's not at all helpful.

[K. Ayato]

Tough love, Yuki.

[Crossfire]

Indeed. If this thread was full of sunshine and rainbows, it would have the effect of catering to a spoiled kid, no lesson being learned and such. Sometimes you have to be a little harsh to get a point across.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

There's a difference between tough love and being rude and presumptuous.

I mean I get your frustrations. I'm not saying he hasn't said things that weren't wise to say, but it gives nobody the right to say disrespectful things and assume things about him. You can be assertive without all of the extras.

[tronethiel7]

There's a difference between tough love and being rude and presumptuous.

I mean I get your frustrations. I'm not saying he hasn't said things that weren't wise to say, but it gives nobody the right to say disrespectful things and assume things about him. You can be assertive without all of the extras.

I'm just gonna re-re-affirm with this:
"Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself." Galatians 6:1-3

[dothackzero]

At least no one can say he isn't honest.

It's pretty hard to find a person who says I'm not. Usually they're just people that don't know me that well.

[Davidizer13]

Looking back on it, I did cross a line when I tried to speculate on where you were with God, dothack. I don't have the right to say things like that, especially when I barely know you or your character, and I'm sorry I pushed you so hard on that. I stand by everything else I've said, but on that issue, I messed up. Can we start over on that one?

[dothackzero]

Looking back on it, I did cross a line when I tried to speculate on where you were with God, dothack. I don't have the right to say things like that, especially when I barely know you or your character, and I'm sorry I pushed you so hard on that. I stand by everything else I've said, but on that issue, I messed up. Can we start over on that one?

Yeah, don't worry about it. ^_^

[dothackzero]

Anyways, after thinking about I'm probably doing fine with that girl. It'll just take some time for her to act around me like she does for my other friend.

Besides, it looks like I'll be taking some time to get more guys in the group.

[Yamamaya]

All I have to say about the conversation beforehand is: text based messages are really easy to misinterpret and it's really easy to be harsher to a person when you can't see their face.

Dot when it comes to communicating with other people, it all comes down to practice and figuring out what is appropiate and what is not. I'll be honest, I make sex jokes when I'm around friends. That doesn't make my jokes right, but my friends are more accepting of those jokes than another group. It's important to er on the side of caution when it comes to such issues.

As for girls, I would say just concern yourself with being friends with girls for now. I know its frustrating, but you have to take things slowly. Obsession will get you nowhere.

Also, keep in mind that God may not agree with your requests. God has the bigger picture in mind.

[dothackzero]

Dot when it comes to communicating with other people, it all comes down to practice and figuring out what is appropiate and what is not. I'll be honest, I make sex jokes when I'm around friends. That doesn't make my jokes right, but my friends are more accepting of those jokes than another group. It's important to er on the side of caution when it comes to such issues.

As for girls, I would say just concern yourself with being friends with girls for now. I know its frustrating, but you have to take things slowly. Obsession will get you nowhere.

Actually, I was doing it with that group because they are the type to do it. Though I just don't know where and when to stop. But yeah, I'm just coming out of shyness(Thanks to God), so I'm basically still trying to learn some fairly basic social skills.

That's actually what I'm trying to do right now.

[Yamamaya]

Actually, I was doing it with that group because they are the type to do it. Though I just don't know where and when to stop. But yeah, I'm just coming out of shyness(Thanks to God), so I'm basically still trying to learn some fairly basic social skills.

That's actually what I'm trying to do right now.

That's good you are becoming less shy. I shall pray for you that you will continue improving.

Being part of a group does help with shyness. I used to be pretty shy until I became more confident interacting with a group.

[tronethiel7]

I would just note that Ephesians 5:3-4 says, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or of any kind of impurity or of greed because these are improper of God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish, talk, or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

Rather than know when to do something, sometimes it is better to not do it at all. ^^Paul, concerning coarse joking and obscenity.

[Zeldafan2]

I would just note that Ephesians 5:3-4 says, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or of any kind of impurity or of greed because these are improper of God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish, talk, or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

Rather than know when to do something, sometimes it is better to not do it at all. ^^Paul, concerning coarse joking and obscenity.

While I certainly agree with this (I'm definitley not a big fan of these types of jokes), I can assume the "which are out of place" part being a case for arguement from many people.

[Atria35]

Actually, I was doing it with that group because they are the type to do it. Though I just don't know where and when to stop. But yeah, I'm just coming out of shyness(Thanks to God), so I'm basically still trying to learn some fairly basic social skills.

We can't repeat this often enough: If you don't know when and where to stop, it's better to say nothing at all. You're doing good hanging out with them, but observation is the best way to figure things out.

[dothackzero]

Apprently I'm still nervous about asking other guys(ones I haven't asked before) to hang out with us too even it looks like he'll probably fit in.

[Ally-Ann]

I promised myself not to get involved with these threads, as I don't have any experience with relationships other than between family and friends, but "looks like he'll probably fit in"? What do you mean by that? Are you basing who you should hang out with solely on how they look? If so, that's unethical, but hopefully I'm wrong...

[dothackzero]

I promised myself not to get involved with these threads, as I don't have any experience with relationships other than between family and friends, but "looks like he'll probably fit in"? What do you mean by that? Are you basing who you should hang out with solely on how they look? If so, that's unethical, but hopefully I'm wrong...

I wasn't talking about phycial looks. >_<

[Ally-Ann]

Ah, so I was wrong. Sorry about that. I'll be taking my leave now.

[K. Ayato]

Don't get caught up on whether or not this guy "looks" like he'll easily fit in with the rest of your group. Just ask. At best, you'll have an extra member. Or he might say it's not his thing. If nothing else, you won't have to keep wondering "what if".

[Tommy]

Okay, I guess I used too many words in my last post. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt because reading is hard, so here is the same post considerably filtered down into it's bare meaning in pictures with just a few words.

You're focusing too much on


and not enough on


so get your


out of your

This made my day.

[dothackzero]

Don't get caught up on whether or not this guy "looks" like he'll easily fit in with the rest of your group. Just ask. At best, you'll have an extra member. Or he might say it's not his thing. If nothing else, you won't have to keep wondering "what if".

So what then, just come out with and ask him. Even though I haven't really spend a lot of time with him or even talking to him?

[K. Ayato]

What's so scary about saying "Hey, me and the guys (all-inclusive term) are getting together this weekend." and asking if he'd like to join you? Got nothing to lose, aside from an extra person.

[dothackzero]

Er maybe I should I just let him know that me and friend hang out often and get his number so I don't have to hope he's online when I'm about to hang out?