family frustrations

[Psycho Molos]

this copy of an email I sent to my aunt (the one that has the legal guardianship on me) and uncle would explain how frustrated I am right now... like at the moment my social situation is about the same: in RL I'm isolated by means of no real transportation or reliable public transit, the only people that are interested in most everything I'm interested are my nieces and nephew, and I don't know really where to get in contact with those more like me. I mean yea I would admit there's ONE that's intelligent like me but she's not into anime or RP. The only game shop I've ever been a regular in closed down during the year or so since I've been living on my own and the others are too far away to walk to and I could call family however they would probably be way too darn busy to take me and even then they'd probably go off somewhere else and pressure me to see how soon I'd be through....Oh and I live at these HUD apartments that used to be managed by the place where I get prescribed my zoloft but is now managed by this other party so (in the email) that's why I mentioned my caseworker and the Foundations social program....

Guess I'd have to eBay that daRNed router I got for Katie's place, she called after Kassidy asked if I could stay over to help on algebra and talked with me about it. She said they don't think it's a good idea since the Wii and the 360 could get online with it and also Alex had been caught getting on and going to some sites.

It's just frustrating though that even though it's been a godawful long time since I had an overnight on Sat night (or in general other than Christmas or Thanksgiving) that if I am able to get to physical church that I'd have to hang out at Taco Bell to log onto SL to go to the services on there until they're ready to take me back. I'd also mentioned last Christmas trying to use my iTunes card so they can see me enjoy it but had trouble being on the fringes of the neighbor's signal but I was countered by the "cash in the card used to get clothes" example (as in that I could wait and they don't have to see me use it).

It's also frustrating that now it's very clear that they won't have me do stayovers much anymore and how would Kass finish Firefly and how would we have much time with our games? I oughtta call Ashlee too coz she hasn't called me about Foundations though now I think it's still a no. That would frustrate me more I mean how can I RP when a lot of my neighbors are old, med-addled, morons? Especially one with the enunciation skills of a Reaver that has eaten his own tongue!!?? Yes I DID go there with describing Frank like that coz it's MALFING TRUE!!

Al

[Psycho Molos]

Until today I had it out of my system but now it's back in....

My case manager at ACT or whatever the heck it's called now is being transferred to another department and she called the other day to tell me that so I called yesterday to remind her what the director of the Foundations program said.

Today she called back and left a message saying that even though they outsourced the management of the apt complex I'm at to an outside company, that the property is still theirs so essentially I got a big fat NYET!!

So I called her back saying I got her message and asked her to "do me a favor..." and I proceeded to say to pass on that I'm going to splurge on a gym membership just to meet people in general and possibly chicks too (which are of course ppl too but you know...) and that I'm not going to be "saddled with this group of mostly drug addled morons and old people where most of the ladies are so old and dried/shrivelled up it wouldn't suit what I'm looking for in even asking them out since I possibly can't have any kids of my own with them"

Also that it's not that likely that many people here would like anime and RPGs so if I have to friggen WALK ALL THE WAY DOWN Kenosha St to Wizard's Asylum to hang with fellow gamers then I'M GONNA MALFING DO IT!!

I also ended the "pass along message" saying that I would do anything not to be saddled with....well.....ummm.....

Very few of you know of it but essentially remember that thread where the guy went off on saying what kinda ladies he wouldn't want to be with? Well I was reading that thinking "OMG!!! It's like looking in a MIRROR!!"

Read between the lines of that last statement and you'll see what I'm trying to say...that I'd do anything not to have to choose between having that type of lady that I won't want, which to me it's essentially a "might as well have stayed single" coz I want kids of my own....or stay single...or just get castrated out of sheer frustration.
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This is making me very extremely angry at God right now. How dare He allow other people to be happy IN THAT WAY and not allow me to be happy that way? How DARE He take my dad away when I was 7 and allow mom to move us all to this piece of <MANURE> state and marry some dumb butt abusive hick and screw up my life?? How DARE He presume that disabled people don't have the right to breed??? I'll resist society's oppression even if I have to SHOVE my right to breed down society's throat!!!!

I just don't know now whether it's God's mistake in taking my dad instead of not allowing him to die in the accident that claimed him...or if I'M the mistake? This is just too cruel...

Oh I forgot another detail..... remember back a few "paragraphs" I said that most of the people here are drug addled morons and idiots? Well I said it like that because some of them seem normal, I've even seen one's apartment and it's teched out with computer stuff but I'm not sure if he's into RPG or anything...and also there's this other neighbor that mentioned that, I forgot if it's his relative or friend, but someone he knows knows me from my friend Todd's game shop that I mentioned had closed down. This other neighbor does know of Magic the Gathering and does game (good news) but bad news is that he prefers.....console RPGs.....and I was thinking "dang where are all the pen and paper players then dang???"

Also I'm neighbors with someone that I lived on the same street with about 15 years ago so him and I get along BUTTTTTTTTT!!! during the time when we were apart, he was into self medicating with drugs coz he was having a mental disorder so that's why he's in Eagle's Nest too and even though he's one of the FEW EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULE....still he has his moments like he remembers sis and I moved here from Pennsylvania but yet he in his current condition THINKS that we're from Philadelphia since I like the Phillies and I keep on telling him "No we're from near Scranton in the NE corner..." but YET he keeps on forgetting!!!!

Couple that with his immediate neighbor staying in his apartment all the time and whenever that neighbor comes out he's dressed in pajamas ALL THE TIME with bed head and he even moves and behaves like an over medicated FREAKO too and my neighbor across the hall that I've already mentioned that talks a lot of the time like a Reaver that had bit his own tongue off for food and you might understand where I'm coming from...