Have you ever noticed?...

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Postby Nami » Tue May 31, 2011 6:15 am

I used to be afraid of meeting anyone's eyes. I wouldn't look at them, ever. It wasn't until I was 18 that I started to stare at people when they spoke. I would do it intentionally because of how freaked out I had been in my previous years. I know now why I didn't meet anyone's eyes (but that's a different topic! ^_~ ) I now stare people in the eyes when talking, or listening. And what's funny is, my boss does too. So when she talks to me...we both stare. I make my second boss nervous I think because I just stare and nod at him when he speaks >> poor man. XD
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Postby MrKrillz0r » Tue May 31, 2011 8:28 am

Give him the "evil eye"!
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Postby Nami » Tue May 31, 2011 8:44 am

AHAH!! NO WAY! D: He scares me as it is! XD;
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Postby ABlipinTime » Tue May 31, 2011 11:17 am

Hm.. eye contact. I can't look at someone's eyes very long, not because it's taboo, but because my eyes have a tendency to zoom in, making everything around the zoom spot very blurry, and I find myself looking more at the point on their nose directly between there eyes than at the eyes themselves (and then I can't zoom out very well unless I look away, lol).

I'm not sure eye contact is a taboo; maybe for some people. But I kinda wonder if whatever it is that causes it is the same look-around-alot cause as why me and everyone else I see looks around in a cafeteria frequently. No kidding, people randomly look around, even turn around completely, just looking at what's going on, even without an obvious reason to look. It's, like, natural or something.
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Postby FllMtl Novelist » Tue May 31, 2011 7:57 pm

Yeah, I often glance around at or watch people. I didn't know it was common. I just like observing people in their natural habitat... Is that creepy? >_>;;

I don't get out much. -_-
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Postby Sheenar » Tue May 31, 2011 9:24 pm

[quote="FllMtl Novelist (post: 1482128)"]Yeah, I often glance around at or watch people. I didn't know it was common. I just like observing people in their natural habitat... Is that creepy? >_>]

Nah, casual people-watching is fun. I like to sit in the food court on campus to eat lunch and watch people --it can be quite entertaining at times.

I don't remember if I mentioned this, but a big part of the eye-contact thing for me depends on who the person is, how well I know them, and what context the situation is in. If someone is upset with me and comes up to me with that kind of body language/tone, then I am more prone to look anywhere but at their face/eyes. If they approach with a friendly smile, happy voice, open body posture, then it is less overwhelming/intimidating to look them in the eye at least briefly.
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Postby Darth_Kirby » Tue May 31, 2011 9:51 pm

Sheenar (post: 1482142) wrote:Nah, casual people-watching is fun. I like to sit in the food court on campus to eat lunch and watch people --it can be quite entertaining at times.

I don't remember if I mentioned this, but a big part of the eye-contact thing for me depends on who the person is, how well I know them, and what context the situation is in. If someone is upset with me and comes up to me with that kind of body language/tone, then I am more prone to look anywhere but at their face/eyes. If they approach with a friendly smile, happy voice, open body posture, then it is less overwhelming/intimidating to look them in the eye at least briefly.


Well, they people watch in Italy all the time. It's how many kill their time there. lol Not really related to the topic of eye contact, but yeah... :)
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Postby UniqueAngelStar » Wed Jun 01, 2011 5:26 am

I'm usually not that well with eye contact because I guess I can be a little shy sometimes when looking at someone's eyes.
But I really need to improve this part of me though.

But that could apply to some people sometimes because of shyness or things like that.
I didn't know men tends to look away, I thought women usually does that.
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Postby christianfriend » Tue Jun 07, 2011 12:48 am

I've never really had a big issue with eye contact, although when I was a bit younger I don't think I really did it all that much. And not because I was shy or nervous, I just didn't really understand that you would usually do so when talking or listening to someone. Although, now I always make eye contact, and am completely comfortable. Even if I was looking at someone for a moment, and they noticed, I don't really get too worried. I just smile and politely look somewhere else casually...because if I looked away quickly, it would actually make things awkward in a way. It's all about how you handle situations, because something can either be awkward, or you can just be calm and not worry about it. :]

Although, if someone does not make eye contact with me when I am talking, then I do naturally get the feeling that they are not fully listening. And if they are talking and not making eye contact, then I feel as if they are hiding something..but I don't jump to conclusions. It just seems polite and makes things friendlier and more comfortable in a conversation I think :3
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Postby Xeno » Tue Jun 07, 2011 1:12 am

I'm fairly sure there is something genetic about it. Have you ever noticed how other animals tend to not make eye contact with each other or with other species? Basically prolonged eye contact is like daring the other party to a can of whoop at-sign dollar-sign dollar-sign on you.

I personally can keep eye contact for a decent amount of time, but I like to be very aware of my surroundings at all times. So if I'm in a room with multiple people, even if I'm talking to just one person, I'll keep looking around to see whats changed. It also depends on who I'm talking to. If it's a superior of mine or someone who intimidates me I'm not going to maintain eye contact for very long if at all (I might focus on their forehead or nose). If it's someone I view as an equal or lower (in the sense that I'm in charge of them, not that they're any less of a person) then I'll maintain it for longer periods of time, but still not for very long.
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Postby Dante » Wed Jun 08, 2011 12:08 pm

>_>... <_<... Fine I'll look away! But do it again and you're likely to get glomped! People that stare at you too much are asking for a hug!
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Postby Darth_Kirby » Wed Jun 08, 2011 2:52 pm

christianfriend (post: 1483344) wrote:Even if I was looking at someone for a moment, and they noticed, I don't really get too worried. I just smile and politely look somewhere else casually...because if I looked away quickly, it would actually make things awkward in a way. It's all about how you handle situations, because something can either be awkward, or you can just be calm and not worry about it. :]


lol this is very true. Though I guess sometimes we don't think about it and panic thinking, "Oh crud! He/she is going to think I'm a psycho!" and look away quickly.

Although, if someone does not make eye contact with me when I am talking, then I do naturally get the feeling that they are not fully listening. And if they are talking and not making eye contact, then I feel as if they are hiding something..but I don't jump to conclusions. It just seems polite and makes things friendlier and more comfortable in a conversation I think :3


I've noticed that in coversation when I make eye contact that often they'll be more focused on you and they'll feel like you're more focused on them. Sometimes this has helped the conversation for me and other times it seems like they get shy real quick on me. Guess it depends on the person.
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Postby TheMewster » Wed Jun 08, 2011 5:26 pm

rocklobster (post: 1481778) wrote:For many autistic people (and Aspies like myself), eye contact is actually difficult. However, my mother (who at the time she raised me didn't know what Asperger's was) often insisted that I focus on her, so I learned it from her. In fact, I kinda outgrew the eye contact problem.


I had the exact same problem and I'm an aspie as well. Anyway, eye contact taboo? I was always taught to maintain eye contact (but then again, I was specifically taught to have it in conversations...)
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Postby Warrior4Christ » Sun Jun 12, 2011 8:07 pm

If I'm pondering deeply in a conversation, I tend to gaze at nothing in particular for a short time. Otherwise, I usually keep eye contact.

If I'm in a public place and in an observation-y mood (on a bus, waiting to cross a road, waiting in a line), I'll look around the place and sometimes have my eyes follow people briefly.. if they make eye contact, I'll just smile (kind of just acknowledging that they exist) and move on to the next person.
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Postby WhiteMage212 » Mon Jun 20, 2011 1:37 pm

I don't usually hold eye contact the entire time, but for the most part I try to keep my gaze towards them. One thing I always felt uncomfortable with was keeping eye contact with someone when I was walking toward to meet them. I either stare to the side or to the floor until I'm close enough to talk.
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