When people don't understand you...

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When people don't understand you...

Postby ABlipinTime » Tue May 24, 2011 6:09 pm

... all the time.
I don't know if you've noticed, but I seem to have trouble clarifying myself on threads. This is probably due to the fact that I think differently than everyone else, and we all probably think differently from each other. Yeah, that's true. It's a miracle we actually have a language we agree on, oh but wait, we can't even agree on the definitions of words. Arg. This is annoying.

So here's my question: What do you do when people misunderstand what you are trying to tell them? Do you try to correct them? Do you just ignore them? Do you try to understand how they are seeing it? Oh but wait, how would this work if you don't think like them? Do you use other forms of communication? Furthermore, what if (supposing you take the route of arguing/"correcting"/whatever you want to call it) the situation "escalates", as in, you're fighting? What happens then? What should you do to resolve the situation? What steps do you take in resolving the situation?
And so on and so forth...

This topic doesn't have to apply to just online communication. In other words, you are more than welcome to talk about face-to-face conversations, phone conversations, etc.

Is that clear? lolz
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Postby Okami » Tue May 24, 2011 6:14 pm

I will often attempt to make my point clear, and if it isn't made such, let it go without getting too angry about it. I too am one of those people that thinks in different terms than others. The fact that my gift is encouragement and my calling is to counseling....yeah, it's freaking laughable. I get frustrated easily and I just want to scream when people don't understand me, because to me, I have been clear, so I fumble over my words in how to make myself clearer.
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Postby Atria35 » Tue May 24, 2011 6:20 pm

When I'm trying to explain myself, I try to use the most precise language possible. Or that I can think of at the moment.

For instance, the question: 'Do you like this anime?' is a lot more broad and open-ended than 'Do you like the art of this anime?', which is more broad and open-ended than 'Do you prefer this anime art or that anime art, and why?'

All three questions would be answered very differently. The more precise you are with the question or statement, the less likely there is to be a misundertanding.
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Postby Edward » Tue May 24, 2011 6:21 pm

I usually just don't say anything at all if I am unable to clearly work out what I want to say in my head first. But even that doesn't always work. Whenever that happens, I usually just try to explain myself once more and then give up if that doesn't work.
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Postby Htom Sirveaux » Tue May 24, 2011 6:24 pm

I usually find a way to get my point across clearly enough. If it starts to take more tries than it should though, chances are the person is just thick and/or a jerk, so I just give up.

Slightly off-topic . . .
Speaking of being thick, it's taken me this long to finally figure out why you found that one particular quote of mine so interesting you had to put it in your sig. I should be insulted, but it really is funny.
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Postby goldenspines » Tue May 24, 2011 6:50 pm

Understanding a person comes from knowing them and often giving them the benefit of the doubt. This is often hard to do over text only communication, but I think it can be done.

I suppose there are basically two ways to go about it (probably more). If you have no ill will towards the person who misunderstood you, you can attempt to explain to them one on one (i.e. through PM, which is easier than trying to answer 10+ people at once in a thread) what you were trying to say and even then you can ask that person how you could have better explained your point. Otherwise, if you don't like the person who misunderstood you, I suppose you could ignore them. But then they'll just ignore you and that doesn't get conversations anywhere. :\

One thing that should be focused on is understanding where others are coming from instead of just "They don't understand, so I give up because I think too differently."


But hey, my posts are either ignored or misunderstood all the time, so I can relate to you in some sense. ^_^;
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Postby ADXC » Tue May 24, 2011 7:26 pm

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I would just try clarifying what I meant in the first place. If they still don't get it, then I could just care less. I realize that there are other opinions on teh internetz and that some just argue for the sake of arguing or just to be trolls.

However, if they go out of their way to try to understand me and are not trolling perse, then I'll help them along willingly and try to understand them.
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Postby Okami » Tue May 24, 2011 7:29 pm

goldenspines (post: 1480988) wrote:
One thing that should be focused on is understanding where others are coming from instead of just "They don't understand, so I give up because I think too differently."


I agree with this 100%! Just because I get frustrated easily doesn't mean I can't take a break from attempting to answer back or respond to a thread, but come back to it later with a calmed mind. :thumb:
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Postby Rusty Claymore » Tue May 24, 2011 8:44 pm

I go with a "Miss-or-Hit" approach. If they miss my point, I hit 'em.

Nah, just kidding. Generally I've found most people who really want to know what you are talking about reach understanding within the first few tries. Some people though have no desire to understand, and those are the conversations that lead to fights. I generally just stop communication since there is no point in it anyways.
Proverbs 31:32 "...when she watches anime, she keeps the room well lit and sits at a safe distance."
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Postby Wolf-man » Wed May 25, 2011 8:27 am

I really try to get people to understand me when I am in this situation. My problem is I get frustrated easily and end up just saying "forget it!" Which is not the best idea.
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