So fairly recently, a friend that I've known since grade school asked me out sometime in February and we started dating (Sorry I didn't let you guys know earlier). However, after reading some of my facebook stuff, I think he's truly fallen in love with me. but it has only been a little over a month and although I do like him, I'm a little nervous because he actually thinks I'm the "one."
He's liked me for years and he is very respectful and kind and we had two dates so far, but have been texting each other daily. And although I had a crush on him in middle school (and I do have a crush on him now since we are dating), I think the fact that he has truly fallen in love with me is a bit...worrisome.
Boyfriend Problem
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Boyfriend Problem
"Because the World isn't as cruel as you take it to be." ~ Celty, Durarara!!
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
~Deuteronomy 31:6
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We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. ~ Iris Murdoch
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
~Deuteronomy 31:6
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We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. ~ Iris Murdoch
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Sapphire225 - Posts: 640
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You should speak to him about these thoughts. Being truthful is the best thing i think. It might help him to keep focus. Also, if he is Christian, he must remember never to put any person above God. Honesty is always the best policy. I believe that this is the case in any friendship or relationship.
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acgifford - Posts: 576
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If I might make some advice.....
It's not that he's obsessive or a stalker or something. The guy had a crush on you for a long time, and finally started being able to out with you, yeah? After a while, with a bit of patience, the normalcy aspect of it all will settle in, and he ought to cool down; if he doesn't, it's best to tell him plainly, rather than let it get out of hand (if he doesn't just cool down naturally).
Communication is a huge part of it, and if you ask him to take it slow, I'm sure things will get a lot better.
Other than that, congrats on dating
It's not that he's obsessive or a stalker or something. The guy had a crush on you for a long time, and finally started being able to out with you, yeah? After a while, with a bit of patience, the normalcy aspect of it all will settle in, and he ought to cool down; if he doesn't, it's best to tell him plainly, rather than let it get out of hand (if he doesn't just cool down naturally).
Communication is a huge part of it, and if you ask him to take it slow, I'm sure things will get a lot better.
Other than that, congrats on dating
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bkilbour - Posts: 327
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acgifford (post: 1467941) wrote:You should speak to him about these thoughts. Being truthful is the best thing i think. It might help him to keep focus. Also, if he is Christian, he must remember never to put any person above God. Honesty is always the best policy. I believe that this is the case in any friendship or relationship.
^This is a good idea.
Also, hesitation is probably a good thing. It means you dont wanna hurt him. And if he is in love with you and respects you like you say he does, then you'll have no problem talking to him as a friend about things. Like about how you dont wanna hurt him etc. Maybe you could make a mention of how he should put all his hopes on you.... ?
finally, I would make sure that he doesnt think you will complete him. If anyone is saying to you that you complete them then that's a VERY bad mindset.
basically, 50% of a person + 50% of a person does NOT = 100%
50% + 100% doesnt not = 100%
you both have to be complete in and of yourselves or the relationship will be like a leech and suck away emotions and energy. TRUST me, as young as I may be (turning 18 in 3-4 days) I've been in at least 5 or 6 of those kinda of relationships (with friends/family and with 'special' friends who are girls) and if the other person isnt a full person without you then it wont be stable.
*rant mode off*
So does that help any?
[quote="bkilbour (post: 1467942)"]If I might make some advice.....
It's not that he's obsessive or a stalker or something. The guy had a crush on you for a long time, and finally started being able to out with you, yeah? After a while, with a bit of patience, the normalcy aspect of it all will settle in, and he ought to cool down]
I would also go with the waiting for things to settle in. Maybe things will subside over time... but yeah ^^;
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TGJesusfreak - Posts: 1017
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acgifford (post: 1467941) wrote:You should speak to him about these thoughts. Being truthful is the best thing i think. It might help him to keep focus. Also, if he is Christian, he must remember never to put any person above God. Honesty is always the best policy. I believe that this is the case in any friendship or relationship.
I'm actually thinking about doing that]If I might make some advice.....
It's not that he's obsessive or a stalker or something. The guy had a crush on you for a long time, and finally started being able to out with you, yeah? After a while, with a bit of patience, the normalcy aspect of it all will settle in, and he ought to cool down; if he doesn't, it's best to tell him plainly, rather than let it get out of hand (if he doesn't just cool down naturally).
Communication is a huge part of it, and if you ask him to take it slow, I'm sure things will get a lot better.
Other than that, congrats on dating
[/QUOTE] He not a stalker or anything; in fact he's very sweet and seems like a normal otaku guy. But you're probably right, maybe it is just a phase. If he doesn't cool down and my feelings are not as mutual, than I'll let him know about it. But I did tell him that I'm not ready to kiss him yet, since we've only had two dates and I want to do a "Dugger" (wait until marriage).
TGJesusfreak (post: 1467943) wrote: ^This is a good idea.
Also, hesitation is probably a good thing. It means you dont wanna hurt him. And if he is in love with you and respects you like you say he does, then you'll have no problem talking to him as a friend about things. Like about how you dont wanna hurt him etc. Maybe you could make a mention of how he should put all his hopes on you.... ?
finally, I would make sure that he doesnt think you will complete him. If anyone is saying to you that you complete them then that's a VERY bad mindset.
basically, 50% of a person + 50% of a person does NOT = 100%
50% + 100% doesnt not = 100%
you both have to be complete in and of yourselves or the relationship will be like a leech and suck away emotions and energy. TRUST me, as young as I may be (turning 18 in 3-4 days) I've been in at least 5 or 6 of those kinda of relationships (with friends/family and with 'special' friends who are girls) and if the other person isnt a full person without you then it wont be stable.
*rant mode off*
So does that help any?
It did, thanks. I don't know if he thinks if I complete him or not (hopefully not). But it is something I'll bring up if his feelings do seem to stay this high.
"Because the World isn't as cruel as you take it to be." ~ Celty, Durarara!!
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
~Deuteronomy 31:6
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. ~ Iris Murdoch
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
~Deuteronomy 31:6
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. ~ Iris Murdoch
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Sapphire225 - Posts: 640
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He might just be really happy right now, He's been waiting for you for a while right? He's most likely just getting his emotions get a hold of him. Still I would talk to him and show how you feel about it.
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Makachop^^128 - Posts: 2215
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Congratulations! I think it probably feels a little weird knowing that you two are bf and gf but you'll get used to it. It feels weird now but I think you'll get used to it (I seriously have no idea what I'm talking about b/c I've never had a bf).
"And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.
But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 2:1-7
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But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 2:1-7
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aliveinHim - Posts: 615
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Sounds like he's excited over the fact you two are actually dating now. Still, it'd be wise to let him know you feel he's going too fast. He may not get it, but he should still be respectful of your feelings. Let us know how it turns out .
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K. Ayato - Posts: 3881
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