Jealousy/Self esteem

http://myanimelist.net/profile/ShaylaBot · Postby **Makachop^^128** » Thu Feb 03, 2011 2:59 pm

Hoihoi

I've always been Jealous, when i was little I was about talents (not very talented)
Now its looks, and Personality. every morning I wake up and instantly think about how ugly I am...It almost seems like a spiritual attack cause it just comes...not brought up by anything and I just break down crying.
I'm getting really sick of it. It gets in the way, I just want to be happy how God made me, even if I'm not pretty, I should have confidence in God. I have the sweetest guy, he try's really really hard to make me feel beautiful, but after we hang out I still go home and cry because I feel so ugly. I feel like a jerk, he does so much and I still feel so bad.

Also I have a few girls I'm extremely jealous of, I hate jealousy I just want to get ride of it. Makes me sick. Both of the girls, the guy I like used to like, they flirt with him make him blush and make him all awkward. and are really um just its not good >.> they both, I believe a lot prettier then me, they also can flirt and I can't, they tease me for it too so it doesn't help v.v I just am praying I can get over it, and be confident. I know how it feels to have people jealous over you. I lost a friend that way. I don't want to put that pressure on someone else. So please pray I'll put more trust in God that he made me the way I'm supposed to be and that my jealousy will go away, I know its a sin and I really want to get over it.

Postby **Radical Dreamer** » Thu Feb 03, 2011 3:15 pm

I'll be praying for you! That kind of thing is definitely tough to deal with. Have you talked to the girls who act that way around the guy and told them that it makes you uncomfortable? If they don't know how you feel, they may not even know that what they're doing is hurtful to you.

Also, don't worry about not being a very flirty person. XD I'm not either, but I've come to realize at this point in life that flirting is not really what gets a guy to be interested in you all the time. If you want a guy to like you for who you are, then you shouldn't have to change your personality to get his attention, or degrade yourself to becoming a giggly flirt-ball. XD It's not worth it, and any guy worth your time will be more interested in who you are than how you flirt. XD

That said, I will definitely be praying for you and for your self-esteem!

http://myanimelist.net/profile/ShaylaBot · Postby **Makachop^^128** » Thu Feb 03, 2011 3:19 pm

Yea I talked to them, they say they like to do it and don't wanna stop :/ I feel really bad for the guy cause its really not fair...they both have boyfriends and its not right for him to feel awkward for their enjoyment, he's also really shy and a bit idk awkward so they think its funny :/

Yea >.< I know its not me, It mostly bugs me cause the girls tease me how I am, but its alright v.v I'm also really modest and they tease me for that too....but I needa get over it lol

Thank you for praying

Postby **Atria35** » Thu Feb 03, 2011 4:04 pm

A little bit of jealousy is good- it can make us want to improve ourselves- but a lot is definitely harmful. A few good books that my friends and I have read (and it helped us- one of my friends is even now leading a study group for the girls of her church on the second book!) are

"I'm Not Good Enough".... and other lies women tell themselves by Sharon Jaynes
Girlfriend, You Are A B.A.B.E.: Beautiful, Accepted, Blessed, Eternally Significant by Andrea Stephens

The second one is out of print, but if you ask your parents nicely, you can buy it for anywhere from a cent to about $8 on Amazon Marketplace.

And praying for you!

Postby **ABlipinTime** » Thu Feb 03, 2011 4:16 pm

Coming from a guy:
First, any guy who's worth spending time with at all will be someone who, as Rad Dreamer said, you don't need to "degrade" yourself for. They should already be kind enough to be friends with you. If someone doesn't want to be your friend, don't try to make them one. Trust God, and He'll bring into your life the people who will make it better.

Second:
You've heard Aesop's fables right? "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder." i.e. Beauty is relative. Even if everyone thought you were ugly, all human opinion is meaningless anyways. The only one you TRULY need to please is God, and He already sees you as beautiful. Stay in His will, loving Him and neighbor, and He will be pleased with you for THAT is what He wants.

So don't worry about what the other girls think. We all HAVE enemies... but we don't have to BE an enemy to anyone.

I'll be praying for you.

God bless!

http://myanimelist.net/profile/ShaylaBot · Postby **Makachop^^128** » Thu Feb 03, 2011 4:20 pm

I'm over the top jealous v.v I make sure it doesn't affect my actions (like some people put down others to make them selfs feel better) I don't go that far, I just get a horrible pain. That I want to be better, and now that I have someone that is important to me and love, I want to be better for them. Both in my personality and looks. but it goes so far as sometimes I feel like I deserve nothing and then I hurt my family and my friends that way.

I will defiantly check those out

thank you

http://myanimelist.net/profile/ShaylaBot · Postby **Makachop^^128** » Thu Feb 03, 2011 4:23 pm

ABlipinTime (post: 1456586) wrote:Coming from a guy:
First, any guy who's worth spending time with at all will be someone who, as Rad Dreamer said, you don't need to "degrade" yourself for. They should already be kind enough to be friends with you. If someone doesn't want to be your friend, don't try to make them one. Trust God, and He'll bring into your life the people who will make it better.

Second:
You've heard Aesop's fables right? "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder." i.e. Beauty is relative. Even if everyone thought you were ugly, all human opinion is meaningless anyways. The only one you TRULY need to please is God, and He already sees you as beautiful. Stay in His will, loving Him and neighbor, and He will be pleased with you for THAT is what He wants.

So don't worry about what the other girls think. We all HAVE enemies... but we don't have to BE an enemy to anyone.

I'll be praying for you.

God bless!

Thanks

I know the only opinion that should matter is Gods. I need to keep that in my mind. Its so hard...but I need to work on that.

MAL · Postby **Mr. Hat'n'Clogs** » Fri Feb 04, 2011 4:01 pm

For what it's worth(not trying to flirt), I think you look great from the pictures I've seen.

But yeah, I know what you're talking about, because I go through a lot of it(especially the part about not feeling talented) and I hope you feel better. I'll try and remember you in my prayers.

Postby **Mr. SmartyPants** » Fri Feb 04, 2011 10:29 pm

I recommend this book to you.

http://www.amazon.com/Why-You-Do-Things-Relationships/dp/1591454204

I read it. It's a great book and one you should definitely look into. It examines our sense of self-worth and how that plays out in our relationships.

http://myanimelist.net/profile/ShaylaBot · Postby **Makachop^^128** » Fri Feb 04, 2011 11:04 pm

For what it's worth(not trying to flirt), I think you look great from the pictures I've seen.

But yeah, I know what you're talking about, because I go through a lot of it(especially the part about not feeling talented) and I hope you feel better. I'll try and remember you in my prayers.

lol thank you >.<

Yea :/ I have a lot of like art things I do...play a lot of instruments, paint, and do photography, write but I don't feel like I've ever found my thing. I always get jealous of people that are really good at one thing but I can't do that well :/ but I guess thats just me lol >.< Thank you for Praying

I recommend this book to you.

http://www.amazon.com/Why-You-Do-Thi.../dp/1591454204

I read it. It's a great book and one you should definitely look into. It examines our sense of self-worth and how that plays out in our relationships.

Thanks

It looks like a good book >.< Looks like what I need :/

Postby **bkilbour** » Sat Feb 05, 2011 11:59 am

Just remember that God made you beautiful.
And remember that if at any point you disagree with Him, you're wrong

I will pray for you.

Postby **yukoxholic** » Sat Feb 05, 2011 3:07 pm

I can understand where you are coming from. A lot of what you are thinking (i.e. I think I'm ugly, fat, stupid, etc) are distortions. Our minds create these distortions due to many things like you've said the media, views of others/self, etc but it all boils down to low self esteem. I think everyone at some time in their life has felt this way.

It's hard sometimes to love -you- for you because of the constant "picture" we create in our minds as "perfect" (something no one can ever be on earth) or from what we see in magazines, tv, etc but it is possible to accept who you are because who you are is truly a beautiful person. This may sound a little cheesy but I believe everyone is beautiful in their own way. It's seeing that beauty for yourself that is challenging. Instead of focusing on the things you do not like about yourself why not focus on the things you do like. Perhaps, your eyes or hair? Your smile? Your sense of humor? Kindness? Being empathetic? Being a good listener? Something you are good at doing or know a lot about?

Beauty is a lot of things not just solely what we see. You are in my prayers and I hope you realize just how rare and precious you are.

http://myanimelist.net/profile/ShaylaBot · Postby **Makachop^^128** » Sun Feb 06, 2011 3:41 pm

thank you guys

I can understand where you are coming from. A lot of what you are thinking (i.e. I think I'm ugly, fat, stupid, etc) are distortions. Our minds create these distortions due to many things like you've said the media, views of others/self, etc but it all boils down to low self esteem. I think everyone at some time in their life has felt this way.

It's hard sometimes to love -you- for you because of the constant "picture" we create in our minds as "perfect" (something no one can ever be on earth) or from what we see in magazines, tv, etc but it is possible to accept who you are because who you are is truly a beautiful person. This may sound a little cheesy but I believe everyone is beautiful in their own way. It's seeing that beauty for yourself that is challenging. Instead of focusing on the things you do not like about yourself why not focus on the things you do like. Perhaps, your eyes or hair? Your smile? Your sense of humor? Kindness? Being empathetic? Being a good listener? Something you are good at doing or know a lot about?

Beauty is a lot of things not just solely what we see. You are in my prayers and I hope you realize just how rare and precious you are.

I honestly am not too exposed to the media where I live :/ idk where I live fatter people are considered the prettiest soooo I don't think its normal lol,
most of mine are friend friends, and just people. but I guess its the same category.

I believe everyone is beautiful in their own way too, I just can't see how I am. But I'm working not it >.< been praying a lot. and trying to think positive >.< I'm actually been feeling better lately

Thank you for praying ^.^

Postby **ABlipinTime** » Sun Feb 06, 2011 4:45 pm

[quote/]
I always get jealous of people that are really good at one thing but I can't do that well
[/QUOTE]
i.e. you're not superwoman?
Occasionally, I reminisce on things or abilities I've wanted in the past, and it's nice to consider how I just don't care about those things anymore. That might be a good exercise for you: think about the things you used to want and how you realize you don't need them or want them anymore.

[quote/]
where I live fatter people are considered the prettiest soooo I don't think its normal lol
[/QUOTE]
lol. See! - In some places, people's perception of beauty is the flip of what it is in other places. Shows just how relative beauty is at times. Thank God for He sees us as beautify.

So, I encourage you some more, as a reminder, and I'll be praying for you!

Postby **Mr. SmartyPants** » Sun Feb 06, 2011 7:04 pm

Makachop^^128 (post: 1456906) wrote:Thanks It looks like a good book >.< Looks like what I need :/

I'm serious. Do it. Maybe I sound imposing... but I am imposing. =p

I've had a lot of serious issues with self-worth and jealousy. This book was an important first-step into me recognizing who I was and helped me learn about myself. So I strongly urge you to just buy it. Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Gary Sibcy are two christian psychologists and have done plenty of studies on this particular field.

It's only like 12 bucks and I'm confident it'll help you out in the long-run. Your problems are probably fairly deep and and absolute no amount of people affirming you will help you. We're all wounded people and issues such as these come from very deep wounds in our souls. What you'll have to learn is to love and respect yourself for who you are and God moves us through this process of healing. Love for yourself and love for others is the foundation of all strong and functional relationships. You'll need both if you want your future relationships to be successful. And you can make it! I believe you can because I know plenty of people who have (including myself).

Postby **agasfas** » Mon Feb 07, 2011 9:08 pm

Feelings of jealously/envy and self esteem are very common amongst most people. It is something that doesn't have an age limit. People are always finding ways to compare each other; whether it's family, income, looks etc. These feelings are certainly hard to deal with at times, but keep praying. I too will keep you in my prayers.

Postby **christianfriend** » Tue Feb 08, 2011 1:47 am

I know so well what you're going through. I've had these issues my whole life, not so much the jealousy (Although I'm human, so yes, it does happen

) but the self esteem, definitely. It's tough, really tough. But if you pray, work hard at thinking positive about yourself and trust God that he made you the way you are for a reason, then I'm sure things will get better for you!

I will be keeping you in my prayers! :]

Postby **Hansha** » Tue Feb 08, 2011 5:11 am

Definitely will pray. Don't get impatient though, self-esteem stuff takes a long time to change.

http://myanimelist.net/profile/ShaylaBot · Postby **Makachop^^128** » Wed Feb 09, 2011 2:10 pm

Thanks guys

Getting better been praying a lot ^.^ I think I'll buy that book you recommended Mr. SmartyPants, looks good.

Postby **MrKrillz0r** » Thu Feb 10, 2011 2:43 pm

I know how it feels to have friends who look good.. >_> like 90% of my close friends have really good looks meanwhile I don't, and I can't say I don't care. I got the same problem as you although jealousy isn't really bothering me, rather low self esteem and I'm trying to get away from it too.

Keep on fighting and remember God loves you for who you are, and I'll try to keep that in mind as well.

http://myanimelist.net/profile/ShaylaBot · Postby **Makachop^^128** » Thu Feb 10, 2011 2:58 pm

Yea :/ these girls are really pretty....and they flaunt it lol. but oh well there are more things then looks, just annoying to be put down and constantly compared.
thanks for praying >.<

Postby **heero yuy 95** » Fri Feb 11, 2011 9:23 pm

I know how ya feel. Society portrays this as more of a girl's problem, but some guys go through it too. Just because you may feel you're not "pretty" by our society's definition, doesn't mean your unattractive, especially to your guy.

Another thing, I know this is beat to death, but it really is the inner beauty that matters most, and I mean in every day life. I've been turned off to plenty of "attractive" young women, because their personalities and priorities were less than desireable, while more attracted to less "pretty" ones per sae because they were just enjoyable to be around, and had good sensibilities, etc, these kinda things will always outlast physical looks.

I'm also really modest and they tease me for that too

Nothing wrong with modesty. Immodesty will usually attract less than desireable characters anyway. As they always say, haters be hatin'

http://myanimelist.net/profile/ShaylaBot · Postby **Makachop^^128** » Mon Feb 14, 2011 3:44 pm

[quote="heero yuy 95 (post: 1458544)"]I know how ya feel. Society portrays this as more of a girl's problem, but some guys go through it too. Just because you may feel you're not "pretty" by our society's definition, doesn't mean your unattractive, especially to your guy.

Another thing, I know this is beat to death, but it really is the inner beauty that matters most, and I mean in every day life. I've been turned off to plenty of "attractive" young women, because their personalities and priorities were less than desireable, while more attracted to less "pretty" ones per sae because they were just enjoyable to be around, and had good sensibilities, etc, these kinda things will always outlast physical looks. ]

Thank yous >.< this was really encouraging

Postby **TheMewster** » Sun Feb 20, 2011 6:40 pm

Just prayed for you. Also pray for those girls too! You are beautiful because God created you, not because of good looks or even a life of good deeds! God bless you!

http://myanimelist.net/profile/ShaylaBot · Postby **Makachop^^128** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 9:15 pm

JesusPhreak! (post: 1466644) wrote:Hey, I just came across this and was wondering if everything came out all right for you and those girls. Or do you still need prayer over this matter?

I'm doing a lot better. The girls were starting to put me down about other things and I stood up for myself and they kinda have stopped flirting, not all together but I give them a look and they stop lol, and they quit teasing me.
Confidence I am still pretty low, but I'm working on it >.< prays would be nice

Postby **Maledicte** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 9:55 pm

Will be praying for you, Makachop. Just remember, you are beautiful, God loves you and thinks you're beautiful and has a special role for you

I feel the same way a lot, that I'm not as good a writer/artist/musician as other people or I don't help the same amount of people. We all have our strengths.

I would suggest praying for those girls. Jesus said to love your enemies, and it's hard to hate someone when you're praying for them.

http://myanimelist.net/profile/ShaylaBot · Postby **Makachop^^128** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 10:15 pm

Maledicte (post: 1466687) wrote:Will be praying for you, Makachop. Just remember, you are beautiful, God loves you and thinks you're beautiful and has a special role for you I feel the same way a lot, that I'm not as good a writer/artist/musician as other people or I don't help the same amount of people. We all have our strengths.

I would suggest praying for those girls. Jesus said to love your enemies, and it's hard to hate someone when you're praying for them.

Yea I have been praying for them. Thanks for praying

http://myanimelist.net/profile/ShaylaBot · Postby **Makachop^^128** » Tue Mar 22, 2011 11:59 pm

Today I went to school and had five people tell me to go hide and was told one of the girls was gonna beat me up and tell me off (even though I've been ignoring her) I didn't hid and she ended up chickening out. She also said if my Boyfriend interfered She'd beat him up too, which I kinda laughed about lol. Anyway things at class are getting pretty bad. I found out today there are a ton of rumors about me going around that the same girl spread. they must be pretty bad, I sit at a table and the people leave the table :/ anyway my parents are taking me out for a bit, so I guess it might get better I don't know

Postby **Atria35** » Wed Mar 23, 2011 6:04 am

Praying for you. I'm glad you didn't hide- that would have encouraged her to beat you up, I think. Hoping things get better for you!

Postby **Nami** » Wed Mar 23, 2011 7:22 am

Oh Maka!! That's terrible. Those people are shallow for believing rumors, but then again that's high school. Now listen here, anyone worth their salt will stick with you, regardless of what is being said. If your friends desert you, I don't think they are truly your friends. *hugs* You are a beautiful, kind and generous girl!! I wish I knew you better and I really, really, really pray things get better. I'm praying for you!!

I know the feelings of jealousy, and its hard, but remember, God sees you for who you really are, and He knows, you are absolutely stunning. And if the person you love sees that too, well then, who cares what the other girls think? ^_^ isn't God good enough? *hugs* Praying for you.

Jealousy/Self esteem

Jealousy/Self esteem

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