Space Detective Go-Go Story version

Unleash your creative writing skills here.

Space Detective Go-Go Story version

Postby Hitokiri » Fri May 07, 2004 5:02 pm

I decided to write out my current manga: Space Detective Go-Go into written form from the manga.

I've written alot of fan fics but stopped cause they dot dry and boring after a while. This is based of my own creation. You might find this similar to Trigun, Outlaw Star, and Cowboy Bebop....cause it is :lol:

So here we go!

I will post up th enext chapter if you guys like it. Please comment or crticize on it.
___________________________________________


Space Detective Go-Go!


Prologue

Space. What is space? In this entire vastness, what’s out there, whose out there? Questions that are needed answering yet, no one knows. What fate lies in front of our paths? Will be drawn into space like moths to a light? The New Frontier. Space. Guided by the stars, many set off to answer these unknown questions only to be never seen again. So how does this relate to our story and to the space detective whose ignoring his past and making what he can of life?

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!



Space Log 1: Space Detective, what a life.


Time: 8:45 P.m. Year Unknown. Julia City, Planet Aries.


“Im bored.â€
User avatar
Hitokiri
 
Posts: 3475
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 12:00 pm
Location: Yatsushiro-shi, Kumamoto-ken

Postby true_noir_chloe » Tue May 11, 2004 7:04 pm

Would you like a critique? If you would I'll give you one. If not, then I liked it. It was ok. ^_^

This was my favorite section: >>ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!


I have one question: Were you trying to write this in script format or in prose?

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
User avatar
true_noir_chloe
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

Postby Hitokiri » Tue May 11, 2004 7:09 pm

Yeah sure critique it...or criticize it. That will help my writing much better,

I'm pretty much taking the manga I drew and transferring into writing form (of course I made some changes to several areas.)
User avatar
Hitokiri
 
Posts: 3475
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 12:00 pm
Location: Yatsushiro-shi, Kumamoto-ken

Postby Icarus » Wed May 12, 2004 7:44 pm

I like the style. All that careful explanation, just to say it has nothing to do with the story. I love it.

Oh, there is one thing. when he changes the clip in his gun, I'd recommend eliminating the last two boxes. Redundancy isn't good unless you want to emphasize that one word. Or if there is no other term for it.
The Forsworn War of 34

††
User avatar
Icarus
 
Posts: 1477
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2003 5:00 am
Location: 34

Postby Hitokiri » Thu May 13, 2004 1:18 pm

seeing as I have ...some.. support I will continue to Chapter 2.
User avatar
Hitokiri
 
Posts: 3475
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 12:00 pm
Location: Yatsushiro-shi, Kumamoto-ken

Postby starstoryteller » Mon Jun 07, 2004 5:00 pm

I like it very much...let me guess the only one who can read the map is a...girl.
I love the style of charaters you have. Graham is lovable but tuff and abit mysterus? ^^
:comp: "Foul Beast"

Jesus is the Lord of the Kings

I love hypper people :hug:

"...art can teach without at all ceasing to be art."

"Love may forgive all infirmities and love still in spite of them: but Love cannot cease to will their removal."

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

the words of C.S. Lewis "Jack"
User avatar
starstoryteller
 
Posts: 172
Joined: Wed May 19, 2004 6:51 pm
Location: U.S.A. Washington of the town of Issaquah


Return to Writing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 142 guests