Problems with cursing, any advice?

[Edward]

I agree with Nate. Too many churches these days get too caught up in legalism, politics, or both. My parents actually left our former church because of how conservative they are. The only reason I still go is because I like the youth pastor and there isn't a youth group at my parents new church.

[Furen]

I guess you can try substituting words ^^ Fudge seems to be a good one for the f-word. What? It sounds funny, you say? You don't want to say the actual word, and you don't want to say fudge and sound silly, so you have no choice but to say another word entirely ^__^

I was doing this for a long while, and it does work... to an extent. See as you do this it's like a new swear word itself in the fact that as you use it, it becomes what you are hating. (doesn't mean I don't like the taste of fudge)

Substituting it is cheating in a way as you still want to and mean to say the word that is inpolite in the secular/christian world, but if that is honestlly what you mean, use it, (if you don't it's like using the word retarded without referring to the medical term of being retarded [I got told at ATF for using it incorrectly I learned my lesson])

Learning to say nothing is the tough and very rewarding gain if you can do that, people see how much self control you have (Hey look, fruit of the spirit grows from not swearing O.O crazyness... XD)

Finally if I or anyone were to use it, it should be there to get a point across and get people to be shocked and listen (watch "To Save a Life" or any other book that has a christian swear to get everyone to listen). People do notice and respond, usually fairly appropriate to what you are trying to convey.

I hope this helped enlighten, or broaden any thought you had and that you chew on this and meditate on these ideas to see how to be good in your choices.

[Nate]

F-bomb was made up because you had to get the consent of the king to do such

That's not true.

I'd link the Snopes article but the URL would get censored 'cuz the word is in it. I will print the relevant part of the screen though, because for whatever reason I can't copy and paste from Snopes.



Other good evidence includes the fact that acronyms are almost completely nonexistent before the 20th century. The etymology of the f-word is unclear, but most linguists assume it's derived from similar words in the Germanic languages.

[Furen]

oh okay, thanks for that Nate, I didn't know that I know a bunch of "Correct acronyms" that claim true for that word but that was very helpful!

Thanks for checking that on me. It's always great to see people actually take time to keep me in check.

[ShiroiHikari]

Other good evidence includes the fact that acronyms are almost completely nonexistent before the 20th century. The etymology of the f-word is unclear, but most linguists assume it's derived from similar words in the Germanic languages.

Thank you. No offense to anyone but I am so tired of hearing "The F-word stands for this and that and the other thing!" >_>

[armeck]

you know, i have never heard someone who isn't christian say a christian if a hypocrite if they cuss (unless the christian tells people not to cuss) the only people who say your a hypocrite if you cuss are chritians (that i know anyway)

[Furen]

Thank you. No offense to anyone but I am so tired of hearing "The F-word stands for this and that and the other thing!" >_>

That is what I grew up knowing so that's honestly what I thought. I value any other opinion that shows other knowledge on the subject.

[DangoDaikazoku]

One thing to remember, you are at all times, representing Christ. He lives within you. He is always watching you. People tend to, but this does not apply to all people, put all Christians into one category and wonder why Christians don't act so much different from them. I have already gotten alot of reponse at school for admitting that I didn't want to have sex until after marriage. They were shocked, and then they began to ask me all sorts of questions about why? how? and ultimatly it was a great chance to talk about God to people who didn't know him. Eventually I hope to start getting the same response for being anti-cursing. We are the body of Christ, let's try to keep it clean.

[Nate]

We are the body of Christ, let's try to keep it clean.

I think most of us do, the problem being how you and I view what "keeping it clean" means exactly. I use the phrase "That's f***ing awesome" all the time and as far as I'm concerned, that is keeping it clean, given that I hold no ill will or malice in my heart when I say that phrase. However, when I tell someone "You're a jerk," that's being dirty and profane and sinful.

Your opinion may differ, and that's not a problem. I'm not saying you have to feel that using things like the f-word are perfectly fine and acceptable. Everyone has their own convictions, that's the thing, and your last sentence can be construed as judgmental. Just sayin'. :p

[armeck]

One thing to remember, you are at all times, representing Christ. He lives within you. He is always watching you. People tend to, but this does not apply to all people, put all Christians into one category and wonder why Christians don't act so much different from them. I have already gotten alot of reponse at school for admitting that I didn't want to have sex until after marriage. They were shocked, and then they began to ask me all sorts of questions about why? how? and ultimatly it was a great chance to talk about God to people who didn't know him. Eventually I hope to start getting the same response for being anti-cursing. We are the body of Christ, let's try to keep it clean.

you will get a response for being anti cussing (notice i said cussing instead of cursing) but it will not be the same as not having sex...

[TopazRaven]

Well, once again I'd like to thank everyone for their advice. Lots of differen't and interesting views. I truley will try my best. But, I'll admit, I cursed a few times today when I was alone. I'm very clumsy and impatiant. So I accidently injure myself many times a day and end up saying d*** or s*** a lot. Or just when I get anrgy. I have such a short temper, that's another thing I need to get under control. Mind you, I'm not violent! I just get angry over really stupid stuff sometimes and end up yelling at times. My mom is the same way, in fact I think she's worse then me. She acts crazy sometimes. Now I know where I get it from . -_-

Also, does crap or darn count as a cuss? I've never considered it one, but I noticed some people on here do?

[Mithrandir]

I know quite a few people around whom it would be completely inappropriate to use certain language. Since I don't always know exactly what will offend someone, the last thing I want to do is use language that has a higher probability - especially when there's probably a more creative means of expression. This is all about being an effective witness. For those of you who say it doesn't matter at all if you use this kind of language, as long as you are reaching the lost for Christ, fine.

Around children and minors, I think it's inappropriate at all times (this is part of the reason we have the filter here at CAA; we have many young eyes and ears).

If people can't tell the difference between them and me, it's hard for me to accept that I'm being the salt of the earth.

My $0.02.

[Furen]

Also, does crap or darn count as a cuss? I've never considered it one, but I noticed some people on here do?

it really depends on how you look at it/use it.

I think "Darn, I forgot to do something" and "Darn you" are totally different contexts and I find them fine as long as you don't mean any ill to anyone, darn, just like any other word has a definition, and as such should be followed. Crap would be more borderline to me, as I said using it in the right time and place is fine, it shows you have something you want to share (or not share) and so when filtering words in your brain try to choose the best ones.

Garbage in, garbage out
treasure on the other hand should be prized so if you think these words do something in you then choose accordingly. (Personally though, I have no problem with these words.)

[Davidizer13]

We seem to only have this problem in English. Japanese doesn't have the same concept of "bad words" as we do. It's more a matter of being polite or being impolite, being formal or informal.

I read that the oldest forms of English (say, up to about 1300-1400?) didn't have any of what we'd call curse words - people swore to do something, but didn't swearat something. Many of the curses we use today were imported from elsewhere (for example, the f-bomb probably came from a similar Dutch word).

Me, I just toss out mineral names instead, especially olivines and manganese minerals, because they're fun to say and make you look smarter when you use them. Someone somewhere said that cursing is a sign of a mind that can't think up of anything better to say; I don't agree with that statement, having spent time around smart people who curse, but I'd rather look smart than look angry.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

In all honestly, I argue that swear words don't exist at all. Words by nature hold no essential, or innate value within themselves.

So really, the only thing that makes the f-word vulgar compared to the word "chicken" is that we as a society has chosen over time that these words would be bad.

This means you can very well argue that the ONLY reason why other people are offended by them is because they CHOOSE to be offended.

Someone might say "well the majority find it wrong! Therefore for the majority's sake, we can't say the f-word in public because most people find it offensive!" This is a very utilitarian argument, that whatever the majority agrees with, is. My question is: Why? Just because the majority of people decide it is wrong... it is suddenly wrong? Is this potentially relativizing morality? Since when was morality based on what a NUMBER of people decide on?

Personally, out of respect I don't do it around some people. But in other cases, it can add a layer of humor to conversation. And in others, it can strengthened my frustration over something (like politics!) So overall swearing is a non-issue to me.

[Kaligraphic]

I would tend to agree with Nate and TheSubtleDoctor in principle, but I would note that even the definition of vulgar as "coarse" has its basis in the contrast with the more "refined" mannerisms of the upper class. Even today, such language may be considered "blue-collar". I suspect that a great deal of our association of vulgarity with sin comes from the fact that, for a pretty long time, priests were drawn almost exclusively from the upper ranks of society - in the middle ages, you had the classic arrangement for sons of the nobility - one into politics, one to the military, and one to the church. As society gets its idea of how Christians ought to live first from those who profess to follow Christianity most closely, if the church uniformly sounds high-end, surely God must sound like that too, right?

So, origin known, we must consider whether it is appropriate. Two extreme cases stand out - first, someone who uses such language, and feels as if God is condemning them for it, and second, someone who does not use such language, and is offended by it.

For the first person, who thinks God is against them for their language, I think we can actually make a pretty strong case that it might be a sin not to use vulgar language around them. Seeing a strong believer able to use that blue-collar language would convey the message that God loves them just as they are. It would be a very Jesus-y thing to do - bringing God's love to the sinner, instead of waiting for them to be perfect.

For the other, someone who would be offended by such language, it would be better not to use such words in their presence. Just because it's not a sin to use the word doesn't mean that it's not going to cost you anything to use it in the wrong context. For someone who's offended by such words, and may feel separation from God for saying them, it may be helpful to share some of the reasoning in this thread, but if it's not affecting their relation with God or causing problems in their life, well, it won't kill you to be mild-mannered for a bit.

Now, naturally, these are only two examples, people are not all the same. Use your own judgment when deciding what to say, and don't just say or not say things based on these two cases. If you do something stupid, that's on you. Standard disclaimer.


Practical note: if you are "dropping f-bombs" every other word or so, that can make you look less educated, reducing your likelihood of finding employment at a satisfactory level of pay. Regardless of how you speak among your friends, if you want to make good money while sitting in an air-conditioned office, it's good to be able to consistently speak a white-collar, vulgarity-free English. It's not a sin matter, but it can affect your paycheck.

Rather than try to adjust your habits all the time, you can train yourself to speak "Business English" as if it were a separate language. Speak a little more formal than usual, use slightly different vocabulary, and generally invest your practice of it with a slightly different charactar than your natural speech. By making the whole slightly unnatural to you, you'll be able to more easily shape how you speak, and switch between, as Bruce Willis would say, "English and Bad English".

[TopazRaven]

Practical note: if you are "dropping f-bombs" every other word or so, that can make you look less educated, reducing your likelihood of finding employment at a satisfactory level of pay. Regardless of how you speak among your friends, if you want to make good money while sitting in an air-conditioned office, it's good to be able to consistently speak a white-collar, vulgarity-free English. It's not a sin matter, but it can affect your paycheck.

Goodness me, I don't use the f-bomb after every other word now, but I did when I was in high school. For the most part I only ever curse around my friends, as they all curse to. I would never curse around a person I didn't know well, especially not at work or during a job interview. I might not be what people would consider classy or a lady, but I do try and be polite and respectful to others. Other times I curse are, as I said before if I get hurt or I forget/mess up on something/do something stupid. I'm not the brightest crayon in the box folks. I'm prone to many mistakes. I'd like to say I've never cursed at anyone in my life, but that would be a lie. I have told someone d*** you or f you before, but I do try and keep my temper under control with other people, even when I'm angry with them. More then often I think it in my mind and don't say it, but I'm still cursing someone, so isn't this in itself just as bad?

On a side note, your avatar is awesome Kaligraphic! What a cool looking cat! Sorry...I have a great love for cats.

[armeck]

Also, does crap or darn count as a cuss? I've never considered it one, but I noticed some people on here do?

yes, and no, most anything can be a cuss word if it is used with malicious intent. how you use it is everything

[Tsukuyomi]

Lets see... How to stop cursing.... I don't curse too much as it is, so... I'm at a lost ideas, but I found these tips that may help :3

#1. Think before you speak and refrain from using curse words. It may seem difficult, but monitoring your thoughts will help you catch yourself from saying something vulgar and offensive. It will take practice, but thinking before you speak is essential if you want to stop cursing.

#2. Practice meditation. One form of meditation is prayer. Other forms of meditation include yoga, falun gong or continued thought and reflection. Meditation is usually done in a quiet place. Take a moment to reflect.

#3. Keep your mouth shut. As difficult as it may seem, silence works. Practicing silence shows that you are in control of yourself and your emotions. Many people have a problem in this area. They tend to rant and rave as soon as a situation arises. With a little bit of practice and self-control, you can learn to listen to what someone is saying or analyze a situation without cursing.

#4. Use a thesaurus. If you are seriously trying to stop your habit of cursing, be proactive in choosing your words. Various thesaurus websites are available to guide you in the use of words that can better describe your feelings.

#5. Put money in a jar every time you curse for extra motivation. This money must be given away to charity, and it must be taken away from you for it to be motivation. Put a dollar in the jar for every curse word you say. You'll be amazed at how fast you stop cursing.

Hope those help you and others who may be struggling with cursing too much ^^

[Yamamaya]

Hahaha, same here lol Everyone gasp when I do.. I only when I'm mad.. It takes alot to get/make me mad xD

Seeing the great Tsukuyomi become enraged would be truly magnificient to behold, kind of like how Galadriel(played by Kate Blanchet) turned all green and said, "AND YOU WOULD HAVE A QUEEN!"

[Asuka Neko]

I get really annoyed when people at my school swear just about every other word, so I pretty much don't. I usually come up with weird things to say when I'm mad or excited.

I tend to yell "HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE!" sometimes.

Kinda doubt this would help, though... I do like the "snickerdoodles" thing X3

[Kaligraphic]

Oh, yes, one fun thing to do is to "swear" entirely in, say, song lyrics - especially when you have a particular theme or genre. Sweet Molly Malone! That can be funny!

[Furen]

I think if you find a way to get anger or frustration out without swearing or the thought passing through your mind it helps with the other stuff. Also remember that some people think that the reason people swear is because they don't have the intelligence to think up a proper adjective.

[A88mph]

This was brought up in some of my religion classes back in High School. and this is what both the ethics teachers told me (well, something along these lines that is).

The only sinful sawring is if you use god's name in vain.

So from what I understand, anything else that societiy consideres a sware outside of this is not sinnful... However, as Christians, we still should try to avoid these words.

This is a bible (NIV) passage that was use by them to support this.

Ephesians 5:3-4

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

hope this helps a lot.

P.S. It's a pain looking up stuff in my bible. Would be much easier if they all came with a topic index.

[Nate]

P.S. It's a pain looking up stuff in my bible. Would be much easier if they all came with a topic index.

http://www.biblegateway.com

You can search by words, topics, and it has a lot of different translation options too. That's what I use most of the time.

[Okami]

http://www.biblegateway.com

You can search by words, topics, and it has a lot of different translation options too. That's what I use most of the time.

http://www.blueletterbible.org/ is another good option. I interchange it now and again with BibleGateway

[TopazRaven]

Thank you everyone, you've all been very helpful so far! In the end, I am finding erasing cussing from my vocabulary a bit difficult. It was never something I've ever really felt guilty for before, but I do realize it is very distasteful. Especially since my best friend has a worse mouth then me and she's so loud so when talks and cusses sometimes I notice children around at times and I feel bad that she used language like that around them or sometimes people stare at us like they think us rude, even if I wasn't cursing to. I always tell her to try and watch her mouth or in least curse more quietly, but she pretty much brushes me off and more then recently says stuff like, don't get all 'I am holier then you' on me. I kind of don't get that. How am I saying I'm better then her by asking her not to cuss so loudly that other people can hear hear her? I mean...I'm the last person to think I'm better then someone else. I know I'm not.

[Atria35]

^ Ouch. With friends like that....

It sounds like you need to have a frank talk with her. Just say that she's your best friend, you love her a lot, but you're uncomfortable with her excessive language. And don't hang out with her as often until she does tone it down.

Because if you're trying to break a habit, you don't want to be around people who will enable it or won't respect it, or even make it worse.

That's the hardest thing to do, sometimes, especially when they're important people to you.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

http://www.blueletterbible.org/ is another good option. I interchange it now and again with BibleGateway

Aw I love that website! It has the lexicona and concordances and everything! XD

[TopazRaven]

^ Ouch. With friends like that....

It sounds like you need to have a frank talk with her. Just say that she's your best friend, you love her a lot, but you're uncomfortable with her excessive language. And don't hang out with her as often until she does tone it down.

Because if you're trying to break a habit, you don't want to be around people who will enable it or won't respect it, or even make it worse.

That's the hardest thing to do, sometimes, especially when they're important people to you.

She's a very headstrong girl at times, so she might think I'm being silly, but I'll probably ask her to in least tone it done when we're in public, around children especially. No need for little ones to hear talk like that.

I honestly don't care if she curses around just me I guess. I'm not really offended. If that's the way she wants to talk it's her choice after all. I'm really not the type to preach. It's just not me.