Illness...

[Madeline]

I'm really tired and sick right now...I'm having a hard time sitting up in my seat. Please pray for me and my family, my mom and I are really sick...I feel like crud. I really hope that my dad isn't coming down with it too, because his game is in alpha right now and he can't afford to be sick.
I haven't been to church for weeks because it's hit our family in waves, and I feel like my faith is bieng attacked right now. My search for a moral anime is proving pretty useless...everything seems to have something contreversial in it. I hate being regarded as new to anime, I've loved it since I was small but can't seem to find a serious one that I can really get into.
My convictions are different than alot of people's, because I am easily deceived by my love for the things that are good, such as justice and peace, but I cannot overlook the sinful nature of most of the things I read and watch. I'm so tired! I really need a friend right now, but I'm in a new place and complications make it hard to branch out. I wish that I'd stop chasing after the people who hate me, but I'm not sure who else to turn to...
I keep telling myself that Jesus is enough for me, and to keep holding on, waiting for what he has in store...but I'm tempted to just give in and compromise. My emotions are all over the map, and I feel like such a fool,
panicking over my simple problems when so many people are suffering things much worse than I can imagine...people that I was sent to help...
I feel so needy, and I hate it...I wish I could be honest...be strong...but everything I strive for feels like such a waste. I guess I should just try to let go, and let Jesus clear my mind, like He always does...but why does this keep happening over and over? I suppose it's just the cycle of life; the road is bumpy in some places and smooth in others. But I could really use some support right now...

[wiggins]

I will pray.

[Reverie]

I'm praying.

[Staci]

I will pray for you, Madeline, and that you recover swiftly. Do not feel bad for asking for prayers because there are others who seem "needier" - everyone needs a little prayer now and then. *hugs* (I know, I thought the same thing when I had a really bad staph infection in February. I honestly didn't get better until I asked my fiance plus his Mom and her prayer group to pray for me, heehee.)

And in response to what you said, yes, it is a cycle - life itself is a huge cycle. All we can do is learn from each go around and hopefully improve our walk with the Lord. Many blessings to you and your family. Everything turns out all right in the end, count in it!

[Rogie]

Indeed, life is a cycle. Just think of it as the weather. You may have rainy days or even rainy seasons, but there always sunny days and maybe even sunny seasons to look forward to. God will bring you through. And I can understand your frustration with finding wholesome anime: it's tough.

I'll be praying for you and your family.

[Uriah]

I will pray

Regaurding the convictions, I have nearly the same struggle. It's a shame how they completely ruin things that are not necessarily bad, and for what? So a few more people will buy it? Most movies and animes these days are sadly unclean, or meaningless, and though my convictions are strong on this, I am tempted to watch them anyway, and tempted to look down on others for doing these things.
I have said this simply to let you know you're not alone, as for a solution, I don't have much to say. But nothing, however great it be, is to hard for God.
Also, some times sickness is allowed so that we have to lean on God. I know in myself, if everything were perfect, I really would'nt want God for anything. But it is written "My grace is sufficient, my grace is enough for thee", and Jesus can, and will help you through this, you just need to keep calling on him, and trusting him, as I need to as well.

[ssj2gohan61]

I will pray for you and your family i really dont like being sick and its even worst when the hole family is sick, and i think alot of people have some of the same convictions.

[Sieg9986]

I'll pray for you as well, I was honestly a bit worried since i hadn't seen you posting as much lately, it was nice talking to you when you first started here at the same time i did. I hope you feel better soon.

[Madeline]

Thank you all for your prayers and support.
Sometimes it's nice to just be myself...sometimes I try too hard to fit in, and I cause problems for myself. It's good to be odd!
I'm feeling alot better now. My throat's a bit sore, but that's it...
I've been busy lately, and I'm sorry I haven't posted. To be honest, I got a little jealous of the other members for getting so much attention. It makes sense...they've been on longer...but I gave in. It's really disappointing.
It's rare for me to admit my weaknesses, but I feel that I would be enslaving myself if I didn't put things out in the open. So I went out into the wide, wide internet...and landed myself right in a huge argument- there were a bunch of atheists and such attacking a christian girl because of her anime reviews...and given my temper, I wasn't ready to step down. I wasn't mean, but I should have withdrawn once I had offered my support.
Satan confuses me in such subtle ways...he tends to take my strong morals and twist them out of wack...and they end up pushing God out of the center of my heart. My sense of "justice" is not the same as His.
I came running back, with my spontaneous lack of discipline and the diligence to pursue a friendship with you here...and now I'm back. I hope that you can forgive me for my absence. My life is a mess...I'm waiting for Jesus to put the pieces back together. Perhaps something good came from my episodes of drama...I've been turning out better poetry lately.