Need help with a decision! xO

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Need help with a decision! xO

Postby Toad_Servant » Fri May 14, 2010 1:39 am

Alright, to start off, I don't want anyone to make this decision for me, but I'm hoping for some biblical references, stories, or something to point me in the right direction.

I'm in a situation that I can't find a peaceful solution to. I'm trying to start a group project, and I've been working on and off for nearly a year with these two guys, but more so in the last few months. Well the problem is, they aren't that good at it! I'm going to end up doing all the work, and I need to be working with skilled people to improve myself if this is going to work.

Well I had a story put together that we were going to use, and we have been working the last month building a few random things from it. Honestly I don't see this project going anywhere, and don't want to waste a year to get to that conclusion, especially when I'll be doing all the work.

So, here is how it goes.

If I ditch them, they have to go back to square one, start over from scratch. I will basically have betrayed them. They lose the story, everything.

or

I ditch them, I let the lady who wrote me the story down by leaving the screenplay in the hands of people who will never finish it.

or

I stay with them, and waste a year of my life.

Are there more solutions to this? I remember telling them at one point "Don't worry, I will never ditch you guys"
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Postby Esoteric » Fri May 14, 2010 11:12 am

Wow, that's a tough one. (Hello and welcome, by the way)

This is the sort of situation that's very hard for a random person to offer good advice on, but since I can see you're asking for some more objective thoughts on the situation, I'll try.

Is there a reason you don't wish to sit down and discuss you quality concerns with these people? I realize this is a scary proposition and might offend them (no one likes to be told they aren't good at something).
But it sounds like abandoning the project will also offend them, so perhaps a kind and honest chat about your concerns might offer more solutions.

On the flip side, I must say that when it comes to volunteer projects, often you must compromise on a project's quality. Sad, but true, and it's because the people who are good at something usually don't do it for free. You can get lucky, but in my experience, the vast majority of volunteers are not especially talented.

Barring a break up, is there a way you could relegate their project tasks to some aspect which is less...quality critical?

I don't know. It's a very hard situation when you commit and then are sorry you did. Honesty always seems the like most difficult choice, but it's usually the best. Don't rush into a course of action, give it a lot of thought. I really hope you can find a peaceable solution.
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Postby Toad_Servant » Fri May 14, 2010 12:33 pm

Thanks! I've been browsing around the forum, and it seems pretty cool xD

Sitting down and talking to them may be a good idea, but eventually we will be at the same situation as above. Guess I'm hoping to solve it, then sit down and discuss it. But I'll probably have to go with this idea.

As for volunteer projects, I know exactly what you mean lol. Luckily, I have found the solution after 2 failed attempts.


Barring a break up, is there a way you could relegate their project tasks to some aspect which is less...quality critical?

They just aren't willing to spend the time on it. I mean 7 hours a week just doesn't work, and I actually joined their group.

I just don't think I can bring myself to make such a cold withdrawal. Yet, I do need to take responsibility for my own success.
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Postby Dante » Fri May 14, 2010 1:19 pm

Seven hours a week on a volunteer project is quite a bit actually. If they're not good at it and quality is a concern, perhaps part of the project should involve finding ways to improve their skills in that area? An hour of thought can defeat ten hours of effort!

Other ideas involve considering how to reorganize the group. As a group, it's not necessary for every member to be good at every single thing. In fact, that defeats the whole process of the group altogether in my opinion. Instead, it's better to have each person understand a different facet and then each person works to do their best in each of these areas. If there is some area you are lacking in from the talents you already have, it might be a good idea to try to expand the group to bring in more people. That way you can meet all the base goal requirements of the project.

Just a thought.
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Postby Tsukuyomi » Fri May 14, 2010 1:58 pm

Hey there and welcome to CAA ^__^

My advice is to also talk to the other two about it ^^ Even if that means going back and doing some things over. At least, you will all be on the same page.. Or, as much of it as possible ^__^
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Postby Esoteric » Fri May 14, 2010 2:06 pm

They just aren't willing to spend the time on it. I mean 7 hours a week just doesn't work, and I actually joined their group.

Seven hours a week on a volunteer project is quite a bit actually.

Hmmm. Volunteer time is relative to a person's life situation. For a full-time university student or a person with a family, eking out even seven free hours a week can be hard. My brother is working on a small business venture with friends, but is also raising/homeschooling three kids. He's lucky to find eight hours a week where he can work.
But if you work less than forty hours a week and have no other commitments, seven hours isn't an unreasonable chunk of time to set aside. Motivation/endurance of character also plays a big part.
If your friends have families and jobs, and are consistently putting a certain amount of time (even a small amount) into the project, it does show commitment. But if they spend more time goofing off or playing videogames than they do on the project, then yes, they probably aren't really committed.

Tell me, when you joined this group, did you actually join it in a leadership role or just as another worker? If you joined as a leader, then okay, this is certainly your problem. But if you just joined 'to help', then there's nothing that says you have to shoulder more of the work/time load than they do.

What you should probably do is decide whether or not you really think this project has potential. Is it something you'd really like to see succeed, that you believe could succeed. If it does, for the sake of the cause you should find a way to work out these differences, or find some more volunteers to help who see things your way.

But if you've looked at the project from all angles and decided it doesn't have much of a prayer, well then yeah, best talk to them. And if you really can't bring yourself to talk to them, then just taper off your efforts to match their. This might communicate that you'll commit only as much as they will.

Again, I don't know if this is the best advice. Keep thinking about your options.
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Postby Toad_Servant » Fri May 14, 2010 5:55 pm

Seven hours a week on a volunteer project is quite a bit actually

Ive thought about this, and even if they had much more going for them, then this project can't work without enough time. We are planning to make a 3D movie, and from experience, it takes more then 7 hours a week to get much of anything done. So this is something we need to discuss as a group I suppose.

When I joined, we were all given equal power, but I'm in charge of making it all work, if that makes sense.

Thanks Pascal, Tsukuyomi and Esoteric, I appreciate the help, and I'll let you guys know how it turns out.
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Postby ClosetOtaku » Fri May 14, 2010 6:02 pm

" wrote: I remember telling them at one point "Don't worry, I will never ditch you guys"


Psalm 15:

LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?
He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart
and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,
who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,

who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things
will never be shaken.


You gave them your word. You told them you would not ditch them.

The only way to get out of this, then, is to talk with them and tell them the truth. Tell them your expectations of how much time must be devoted to this, and that you may need to bring in other, more expert help. Let them make the decision as to whether they need to back out. And then stick with it until the project comes to its completion.
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." -- C.S. Lewis
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Postby Toad_Servant » Fri May 14, 2010 6:16 pm

DAAAH! Your Right!!!!


I guess I know what I need to do!

Thanks!:grin:

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Man, everything is clear once you look at it in positive light huh?
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Postby Arya Raiin » Fri May 14, 2010 6:36 pm

ClosetOtaku (post: 1394355) wrote:Psalm 15:

LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?
He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart
and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,
who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,

who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things
will never be shaken.




Nice job finding that! :thumb:
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Postby Toad_Servant » Sat May 15, 2010 5:56 pm

Well, he agreed with pretty much everything I said, and continued that if I think its a mistake to team up with them, then he will have full support in what I decide to do. He was more concerned about this hurting our friendship xO.

So I am now free to decide what path to take, and God will be with me. Thanks Guys!
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Postby Tsukuyomi » Sat May 15, 2010 9:42 pm

I'm glad things are looking up ^__^ Keep us updated on how the project goes if possible ^O^
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Postby bkilbour » Sun May 16, 2010 4:40 am

I'm proud of your decision to be direct and communicate, man! That kind of humility and courage is something I admire.
Hebrews 12
John 14
Matthew 6
Psalm 119
May God be glorified!
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