Postby Peanut » Sun May 02, 2010 4:02 pm
The long awaited, part four extravaganza!
Part 4: Zarn's Victory
*Not a moment after his epic laughter, Zarn Ishtare began to dance around the corpse of Ryuken, taking in every moment of his glorious conquest.*
NM1: Well, there you have it folks, Zarn Ishtare has won the epic battle.
NM2: That was...anti-climatic.
NM1: Yep.
NM2: Kind of dissapointing in fact...
NM1: Unless you're Zarn that is...
Zarn: I don't care! I am victorious! Such a victory requires a celebration of sorts. Something...poetic.
*Zarn sits down on the corpse of Ryuken and pulls out a pen and paper. He stares at the ruined scenery around him, filled with the dead bodies of fan girls in Ryuken t-shirts, and releases a sigh of content. Never before has a scene that looked so peaceful, this was truly going to be the best day of his entire life. He turned to the blank sheet of paper and place his pen upon it to write a wonderous verse that would be sung throughout the world in honor of him. It all happened so fast, a flash of movement, a yelp of pain, and Zarn Ishtare being tossed several feet into the air as Ryuken stood back up.*
Zarn: #$*&%)*(&^)^$%&$^)*&$
NM1: And Zarn unleashes a series of curses so terrible, we'd be cancelled forever if we didn't censor.
NM2: Yes, if only you could here the string of four letter words that Zarn is combining right now. I would surely shock and stun you. Of course, after a low blow like that, even the holiest of men, would find themselves with the mouth of Zarn.
Ryuken: I take great offense to the use of your language.
Zarn: *hunched over and in an outrageously high pitched voice* Well I *Zarn clears his throat and his voice returns to nomal* Well I take offense to such cheap tactics. But it matters little *Zarn stands back up straight* I could deal with just you in my sleep.
Peanut: Hi Zarn.
Zarn: Peanut's behind me isn't he.
Ryuken: Yep.
Zarn: And he doesn't have a scratch on him right?
Ryuken: Pretty much.
Zarn: *turning to face Peanut* Oh come on! I blasted you with enough energy to destroy six cities sixty times over!
Peanut: I know.
Zarn: And you don't even have a scratch on you? How?! How did you manage to pull that one off!
Peanut: Do you want me to tell you what you want to hear or do you want the truth?
Zarn: THE TRUTH GOSH DARN IT!!!!
Peanut: You missed.
Zarn: I...I didn't...I couldn't of...did I really miss.
Peanut: Completely.
Zarn: But I shot at you at point blank range.
Peanut: You rolled a one.
Zarn: What?
Peanut: Oh you didn't know? This entire simulation is run on dice rolls. You rolled a one, nullfying your accuracy score and making your point blank attack miss me entirely.
Zarn: But I thought this was a high tech simulation based off of our skill!
Peanut: No, because of the economy we had to sell that simulation and replace it with something much cheaper. So, Ninja Monkey's rolling dice it is...
Zarn: But that's...
Ryuken: Enough talking. This battle has raged for too long now. It is time that we end this.
Peanut: For once I have to agree with Ryuken on this one, the longer this goes on the more my budget gets strung out, and then I won't make a profit at all.
Zarn: Fine, if you want a quick ending I'll be happy to oblidge you. It was never my intent to use this but I guess I have no choice.
Ryuken: There is nothing you can do that will be able to stop me.
Peanut:...your not...no, this isn't the right place to...
Zarn: *with a grin creeping over his face* Oh it is, Peanut...it is...
*Suddenly a mass of energy exploded from Zarn of the likes which has never been seen, and it wasn't named Tenacious D. The energy was so powerful, it actually blacked out the broadcast for several seconds before it became somewhat more controlled and contained. As the pictue came back on, the viewers all caught a glimpse of the shocked faces of the two Ninja Monkey Announcers*
NMA1: It...can't be...
NMA2: That's...
Lord Kalvin: *Bursting into the announcer booth* FENRIS!
Edit: All right, all right, I have a legitimate question...should I post all of the old Of Nations tournaments along with this one in the writing forum? If I did I would explain somethings (like characters and jokes and stuff) along with the actual process I went through for creating them (aka, what motivated me to make them the way I made them). I'm just asking to see what other people would think about it...
CAA's Resident Starcraft Expert
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