Gah...a roughly 7 hour drive, some girl trying to flirt the whole way. Sheesh...

[Destroyer2000]

THat was extremely unexpected. I was trying to THINK on the way home from the school trip. She was one of those ditzy, hyper types...and WOULDN'T LEAVE ME ALONE! GAH! We had went to Orlando with the ACT and Jr. Beta clubs, and I think she took a liking to me on the way there. She waved very...fervently while we were in Epcot or Universal Studios, or anywhere else she saw me. Then, when we left to come back, it took around 7 hours. She was trying to flirt with me the entire way. Amusing, though she bothered me, my friends were jealous. Feh...it's not good for me. I'm fighting a war within myself for COMPLETE emotional control, and I am doubting that it's possible.

I made a topic a while back about a crazed vow I made to myself...well, the rate things are going, it's going down the drain. See, feelings develop quickly sometimes, and sometimes it takes longer. I'm well aware that this age is extremely hectic, and infatuation is a pain in the butt. Though it's silly, those feelings you may develop seem real. It's so freakin stupid. I thought I had the ability to push it back, but no, apparently not. I can generally drive people away and isolate myself, which I do alot of times, but she won't leave me alone! AGH! Frustrating! Okay, I don't much care for this girl that's bugging me, but there's another one I like, and that's even more frustrating to me. Self-control over emotions and feelings only goes to a certain extent, I suppose, but yet...it should be atainable.

Now...I'm going to bed. I just hope this doesn't haunt me there, in my dreams, feh heh heh...

[Mangafanatic]

Don't worry, she'll be over it soon. Let's see, by my watch-- in about two minutes. Seriously, if this girl passed you on the street, she probably wouldn't remember you. That or she'd "wave fervently". At this age, girls blow around like the wind. Just pray for a gail force wind heading far away from you.

If worse comes to worse, you could just tell her "I just want to be friends."

[Ingemar]

Mangafanatic, You talk very flatteringly of your sex.

You must ask yourself D2000--how much are you going to let this bother you? Several girls have "flirted" with me and I just ignore them. You must understand, I was a tender youth who, years before, endured cruelty from other kids whose liking of me was very fickle, so naturally I'd be cold to anyone who professes to like me. Whether or not the girl wanted to be friendly, I'll never know.

As for your feelings, try to find something to busy yourself with. Try homework (bleh) reading, watching TV, physical activity, busywork, chores...anything! Don't listen to love songs or watch shows about couples, etc.... it only makes the feelings worse. This will be difficult at first, but try to push away those feelings of love by pursuing something very difficult, time-consuming and (most of all) important for you. While you're doing that thing, you'll forget about your feelings, focusing your energy on this significant task that means a lot to you. And by its completion... will you even remember having such feelings? If you don't, then it would have worked.

[CDLviking]

I'm not really sure where you are coming from on the emotional control thing since I don't think I've read the previous post you've mentioned. It's not good to be ruled by your emotions so that you go with every passing fancy you have, but at the same time it's just as bad to completely isolate yourself from emotions. Virtue is the medium between two extremes. When you say that you are trying to isolate yourself and drive people back I worry that you've gone too far in the opposite direction. Emotions are a part of who we are, and we must learn to deal with them, not ignore them.

I apologize if I took your post in the wrong way, like I said, I'm not sure where you are coming from on this.

[Aka-chan]

Wow...that sounds really annoying...

I've taken a similar vow, but I also know what it's like to feel like you might be "falling for" someone when you shouldn't. Best of all is to pray a lot about it and for strength not to do anything impulsive you'll regret looking back. I found that trying to act like they're nothing more than a friend at most (both in thinking about them and in interacting) helps; focusing too much on them (or, for me as a girl, writing about them repeatedly in a diary) only serves to feed the infatuation. Ingemar's idea of focusing on something else also helps. What works in the long run, though, is definitely prayer.

[Mave]

I'm fighting a war within myself for COMPLETE emotional control, and I am doubting that it's possible.

First off, allow me to remind you that it's POSSIBLE with God on our side. So don't give up hope!!

As one who had gone through that hectic age, I think I can safely predict that that young persistent gal has a major crush on you, which probably won't last for long.

It's my personal opinion that you must take control in this and deal with all this as wisely as possible as God would like you to. First, pray fervently about both gals. You're already aware for the randomness of feelings (that's great, helps tremendously).

Secondly, "keep resisting". Yes, even the one whom you like. Keeping check on your emotions is part of growing up as a christian man and will be vital in your future challenges. I suggest staying closer with your buddies (those who sincerely support you, not the jealous ones) and have a good friend who annoyingly butts in between you and the gal. hehe That's how I dealt with men who gave me more attention than I wanted. ^^; Perhaps that could help you too?

I'm sorry I can't offer anything more substantial than that. But I do know you can get through this (coz God led you to it and you sound like a mature young man). You have my support and prayers!

[cbwing0]

I have one question for you: why, exactly, are you bothered by the attention of this other girl? Is it the result of a vow, or due to the fact that you like another girl more? Rather than trying to hide from your feelings, perhaps you should examine them to see what they really are.

On the other hand, if you have made a serious vow (I vaguely remember the thread in question), then the decision is easy. Either ask God to release you from your vow, or ask him for the strength to keep it.

As far as girls are concerned, I have both received and given attention, and I have my regrets. Right now I am more or less taking a break from dating and such in order to focus on school, study, and my future; but God willing, I will start again at the appropriate time.

[JediSonic]

I haven't taken a vow like the one you have, destroyer2000, because I think its rather odd to assume that you'll be able to tell for sure who you want to marry without dating a few people first. But then, I'm only 14 and I dont see even wanting to date someone as part of my emotions until I'm at least 16. Of course, that could change I guess, but if it does I'll be fighting it.. right alongside my parents

You might think its weird for me to say I probably wont want a girlfriend until I'm at least 16, but I'm also homeschooled which means I'm in a far less social situation than you are for most of the week.

[Destroyer2000]

but if it does I'll be fighting it.. right alongside my parents

LOL! Thanks, but really guys, this doesn't bother me that much. I thought it strange because not many people like me.

[CDLviking]

I'm curious what this vow is that people keep mentioning.

[Aka-chan]

Right here, CDLviking.

[Destroyer2000]

Seems stupid, doesn't it? I've wondered how it's going to work without dating a few people first, but I'll worry about that later. Right now, I'm irritated with mom. She's getting rid of dish network and getting something called 'Sky Angel - all Christian programming. Not that there's anything wrong with Christian programming, it's just that I suspect they're extremely narrow-minded. Unlike the people at CAA, they probably won't even try anything new to find out what it's like. Is it wrong for a Christian to be open minded? I've wondered about that quite a bit. What makes me mad is people who know NOTHING about Anime, and they say it's the scourge of the universe. I mean, c'mon!

[cbwing0]

Christians can certainly be open minded, to a point. If something clearly conflicts with biblical teaching (i.e., you could not be criticized as "narrow minded" for refusing to shoplift, commit adultery, etc.), then you shouldn't try it, even once.

Christians should seek to know as much as they can about the world, striving to for great intellectual achievements just like a secular scholar (although perhaps with different methods/ideology).

As for satellite tv, I think going with exclusively Christian programming is a bit extreme. In such matters, keep in mind the following verse: "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things" (Phillippians 4:8).

I would not consider (most) anime to be evil, so there is no reason to shut it out from your life.

[CDLviking]

Thanks for the link, now things make more sense.

I think your goal for only dating the woman you're going to marry is a very honorable goal, but I think you'll find it very hard to relate to that woman if you cut yourself off completely from other girls. It's okay to hang out with other girls, just make it plainly clear that dating is not even a possibility. I feel pretty qualified to give such advice since I've made a vow never to date, period, but I still have fruitful relationships with women my age, many of whom are frankly quite attractive.

[Lochaber Axe]

As do I have a friend basis with several girls at my youth and such. I find it more enjoyable that way without all the hassles dating brings. D2000 and JediSonic, it is quite possible for you in that I am a year away from getting out of high school and I have never had a date. I am perfectly fine with it.

Just remember your vow and pray about situations involving infatuations.

[Destroyer2000]

Answer questions more directly...

I have one question for you: why, exactly, are you bothered by the attention of this other girl? Is it the result of a vow, or due to the fact that you like another girl more? Rather than trying to hide from your feelings, perhaps you should examine them to see what they really are.

Ah, it's because of the vow, and the fact that I thought I had most control over my emotions. Alright, I'm not trying to shut myself away from them; rather, I'm trying to be able to push away any thoughts of infatuation or anything else.

My friends have told me to lighten up a bit, and I'm wondering maybe if I shouldn't...you see, I'm always serious. I don't really laugh that often, and most likely the reason why is that I'm trying to focus...or just wish to avoid the stupidity and immaturity of my classroom. I didn't make the vow to God, I made it to myself, from what I can remember. I wouldn't need to ask him to be released (if I wanted to be) would I?

[cbwing0]

I didn't make the vow to God, I made it to myself, from what I can remember.

In that case, it's up to you.

I would not consider being serious and focused a problem, as long as you are focused on God. If it is just focus for focus' sake, then that would be a problem (and, except in extreme cases, intense concentration shouldn't be needed to reach the Lord).

In my opinion, you probably should "lighten up" a little. Being serious is fun for a while, but you'll regret it later, when it results in missed opportunities, trouble starting friendships, etc. Indeed, we are not called to have joy for nothing.