Day In The Life of the GRG

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Postby Zilch » Tue Apr 20, 2004 3:06 am

Now for the second act to the second most critically-acclaimed play in CAA history and first in GRG history...

Days In The Life Of The GRG, Act TWOOOO!

Scene 1
So It Begins...

(Another boring day at the Guild. Calbhach walks downstairs with her Frappachino in hand, waiting for another pleasant day of leading her now-74 member flock. She comes to the bottom of the stairs and finds Duckie, Ekul, CobaltAngel, Kirakira, Spencer, Zilch, Inkhana, and for some odd reason, UC Psuedonym crowded around a giant metal box. Pushed by her curiosity, she joins the throng.)

Calbh: What's going on, guys?
Ekul: 'Tis my new invention! It lets you become a part of any video game you want as any of the characters from the game!
Calbh: SWEEEET!

(Calbhach unconsiously speeds forward and throws all the switches she can find. There's a shudder, a clank, a bang, a very timid "oops", followed by

KAZOOOOOTTTTTTT!

The Guild members wake up in the sand. Calbhach picks herself up and checks for broken appendages and various vital organs...and realizes...she looks exactly like Tidus from Final Fantasy X...in fact...SHE IS TIDUS!)

Calbh: I'M A SKINNY WHITE BOY! GAH!
Dark Voice: Don't complain...
Calbh: Lulu?

("Lulu" looks around at the still-unconscious people)

"Lulu": Actually...
Calbh: What? Who are you?
"Lulu": ...I'm UC...
Calbh: U-SEEEEEE?
UC: Yes...
Calbh:...well...that dress is very flattering on you...
"Wakka": Oh, man, my head...where am I? Who am I? ...Wakka? Well...I suppose I could have been Rikku or Yuna, yah?
Calbh: Who are you?
"Wakka": It's me, Spencer!
Calbh: Ohhhh. I see...so...who's Kimahri, Yuna, Rikku, and Auron?

("Auron" raises a hand.)

"Auron": Inkhy here!
"Kimahri": CobatAngel Kimahri. Coby look funny. Coby don't like...
"Yuna": ....*sigh*....*bigger sigh*...*Hurricane Sigh*...Duckie...
Calbh: So...who's Rikku...

("Rikku" is sprinting down the beach, arms waving wildly in panic.)

"Rikku": GAAAAAAAH! OF ALL THE CHARACTERS, I HAD TO BE RIKKU!?!?WHY ME, LORD, WHY ME?
Spencer:...I take it that's Zilch...
Zilch: Why me? Why me? Whhhyyyy...(he sees his reflection in the ocean water)...hey...I look pretty good...dang...
Calbh: Heeeeeey...you DO look good!
Duckie: CALBHACH! You're supposed to like meee!
UC: No, me!

(CobaltAngel comes up with a strategy guide.)

Coby: Book say Tidus like Yuna. Calbhach supposed to like...Duckie...that yucky...but funny...Coby now bust gut laughing...(proceeds to do so)

Zilch: Seems like we still retain some of the original character's personality.
UC: That would explain my intense desire to see something burn...
Calbh: And my obsession with whiiiining...
Spencer: And for me to talk like a Jamacian, yah?...I did it again didn't I?...that's a bunch of spoot, yah?
Calbh: Anyway...what do we do next?
Inkhy: We go to Besaid Village.
Spencer: Oh, that's right...
Inkhy: Let's move.

(Inkhana AKA Auron walks off...)

Zilch: Hey, Ink!
Inkhy: (turning around) What?
Zilch: Auron doesn't swing his hips!
Inkhy: Well, I never!

(If you can imagine Auron flouncing off in a huff...do so now...)
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Postby uc pseudonym » Tue Apr 20, 2004 5:11 am

Kimahri speech funny. UC find humorous too much. Good work in third person.
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Postby Zilch » Tue Apr 20, 2004 5:43 am

Gurr, goo 'way, zurr YooSee, you'm much to kind to oi!
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Postby inkhana » Tue Apr 20, 2004 7:19 am

Bahahahaha..."Auron doesn't swing his hips"....XD XD XD


BOOSTER: Hey, No.1! Where's my cake?!
SNIFIT 1: Booster, Sir! There's a 70% chance the object you're standing on is a cake.
BOOSTER: What? THIS thing's a cake?

You have the power to say anything you want, so why not say something positive?
- Frank Capra

(in response to an interview question "Do you have a pet peeve having to do with this biz?")
People who write below their abilities in order to crank out tons of books and make a buck. Especially Christian authors who do that. Outsiders judge us for it, and make fun of us for it, and it makes Jesus look bad. We of all artists on earth should be the most concerned with doing our best possible work at all times. We of all people should write with all our hearts, as if writing for the Lord and not for men.
- Athol Dickson


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Postby The_Marauding_Maniac » Tue Apr 20, 2004 12:11 pm

O.o Now that is a little stange.... Calbh likes Duckie???????
Luke was here.
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Postby inkhana » Tue Apr 20, 2004 12:48 pm

Yup, and Calbh+Duckie is spelled "zilchisgonnagethurtnow"...:P


BOOSTER: Hey, No.1! Where's my cake?!
SNIFIT 1: Booster, Sir! There's a 70% chance the object you're standing on is a cake.
BOOSTER: What? THIS thing's a cake?

You have the power to say anything you want, so why not say something positive?
- Frank Capra

(in response to an interview question "Do you have a pet peeve having to do with this biz?")
People who write below their abilities in order to crank out tons of books and make a buck. Especially Christian authors who do that. Outsiders judge us for it, and make fun of us for it, and it makes Jesus look bad. We of all artists on earth should be the most concerned with doing our best possible work at all times. We of all people should write with all our hearts, as if writing for the Lord and not for men.
- Athol Dickson


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Postby calbhach » Tue Apr 20, 2004 1:04 pm

I...like...DUCKIE? O.O

*grabs Zilch by the front of the shirt*

ZILCH: :waah!: :?:

CALBH: XD *tosses Zilch out the window* Oh well...Could be worse I suppose. LOL...Don't hit me, Duckie! PLEASE! XD

EDIT: Oh, I forgot something...Zilch your :banned:


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Postby uc pseudonym » Tue Apr 20, 2004 1:13 pm

Stop complaining. Your shirts are held up by something that's at least visible.
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Postby Ashley » Tue Apr 20, 2004 4:27 pm

I'm not sure I should be miffed I was left out, or relieved. :lol:
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Postby kirakira » Tue Apr 20, 2004 7:57 pm

Miffed. Definately miffed. *hands Ashley a plum* But it is fun to point and laugh, isn't it? *lolses*
UC-heeheeheehee! *giggles with mirth* Yois Zurr, burr, aye! *heehee!*
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Postby uc pseudonym » Wed Apr 21, 2004 5:13 am

kirakira wrote:UC-heeheeheehee! *giggles with mirth* Yois Zurr, burr, aye! *heehee!*


You seem to be having actual fun instead of sitting around miserable. Stop this at once. Wot.
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Postby Spirit_Wolf8356 » Wed Apr 21, 2004 3:00 pm

*giggles* Now that was interesting. I read the whole thing. ^_^ I applaud thy ingenuity, Zilch. Spoot is an interesting word. I think I'm going to have to borrow that. :P

...and I laugh at all of you poor peoples. *snicker*


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Gods plan is like the sun. its too big and bright to look at directly, and sometimes the rain clouds cover it, but sometimes the plan dapples through the clouds and we can see beautiful glimpses of what he has in store for us.
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Postby kirakira » Wed Apr 21, 2004 5:29 pm

*glares at UC* You are out of line, sirrah! Now hand over that mushroom pastie, and I'll jolly well forget you ever said anything, wot? *giggles at her bad hare-ish*
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Postby Zilch » Wed May 05, 2004 12:25 pm

GAH! I need to update! I'll get on that in a bit, k? Sorry about the wait!
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Postby uc pseudonym » Wed May 05, 2004 1:07 pm

Don't sweat it. We wait longer for plenty of other things. I'd rather have rare good updates than frequent random ones.
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Postby The_Marauding_Maniac » Wed May 05, 2004 1:34 pm

UC! I totally agree! I would rather have a great story than a rush job
Luke was here.
There are 10 types of people in the world, people who can read bianary, and people who can't.
I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIX XX XXI XXII XXIII XXIV XXV XXVI XXVII XXVIII XXIX XXX XXXI XXXII....
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Postby kirakira » Wed May 05, 2004 6:24 pm

*pats Zilch on the head and hands him a plum* No worries. ^^
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Postby Zilch » Sat May 15, 2004 7:31 am

Thanks for waiting so long...here it is...

Scene 2
Final Fault-asy

(another large flash, BANG, kaZOOOOOOOOT(even a "moo!" from somewhere), and the GRG finds themselves in a new world)

Calbh: oh...my...head...is you there? Talking, why like this? Darn UC, pixels all the what's up?
UC: In a old game, must we be.

(He holds up a pixely arm and measures it.)

UC: Four pixel, strong I am! Look at sword.

(He pulls out a sword, also pixely)

Zilch: That is fool.
Duckie: Speak you, what.
Zilch: Engrish.
Duckie: I now see.
Spencer: Have I bow!
Zilch: Fool, also.
Duckie: What you say?
Zilch: Don't know.
Inhky: Funny muc.
UC: Speling erors...

(Zilch flips around, since he can't turn.)

Zilch: Weird, this. Spoot of bunch. What happen?
Calbh: Whant new gmae.
UC: Speling eroors more.
Calbh: What use games have?
Spencer: Gameplay, they have.
Coby: Spoot, spoot. Hate I 8-bite.
UC: Haha. I lik speling eror...s...

(Ekul appears from side of screen...I mean...the side of the screen...)

Ekul: I get you out.
Zilch: What you say?
Ekul: New game. Translation bad here much. Crap.
Coby: Why you say crap?
Ekul: Programmers thrown in for reason none.

(Coby procedes to beat Ekul with tiny pixel fists)

Coby: OUT GET US! NOW!
Ekul: Hang on to second!

(That familiar KA-ZOOOOT sound comes into play again...)

sorry about the wait, peoples...
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Postby inkhana » Sat May 15, 2004 9:17 am

Haha! Good Engrish....:P


BOOSTER: Hey, No.1! Where's my cake?!
SNIFIT 1: Booster, Sir! There's a 70% chance the object you're standing on is a cake.
BOOSTER: What? THIS thing's a cake?

You have the power to say anything you want, so why not say something positive?
- Frank Capra

(in response to an interview question "Do you have a pet peeve having to do with this biz?")
People who write below their abilities in order to crank out tons of books and make a buck. Especially Christian authors who do that. Outsiders judge us for it, and make fun of us for it, and it makes Jesus look bad. We of all artists on earth should be the most concerned with doing our best possible work at all times. We of all people should write with all our hearts, as if writing for the Lord and not for men.
- Athol Dickson


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Postby The_Marauding_Maniac » Sat May 15, 2004 9:28 am

Yeah! It seemed like you were in Zero wing or something!
Luke was here.
There are 10 types of people in the world, people who can read bianary, and people who can't.
I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIX XX XXI XXII XXIII XXIV XXV XXVI XXVII XXVIII XXIX XXX XXXI XXXII....
TTA: [B]T
he TTA Acronym
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Postby Zilch » Sat May 15, 2004 9:42 am

All your base are belong to us...
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Postby The_Marauding_Maniac » Sat May 15, 2004 9:44 am

Somebody set up us the bomb!
Luke was here.
There are 10 types of people in the world, people who can read bianary, and people who can't.
I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIX XX XXI XXII XXIII XXIV XXV XXVI XXVII XXVIII XXIX XXX XXXI XXXII....
TTA: [B]T
he TTA Acronym
[/b]
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Postby Madeline » Sat May 15, 2004 11:30 am

Hmm...strange...
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Postby inkhana » Sat May 15, 2004 12:57 pm

Hmm...strange...


Strange is the word for Zilch, I suppose...;)


BOOSTER: Hey, No.1! Where's my cake?!
SNIFIT 1: Booster, Sir! There's a 70% chance the object you're standing on is a cake.
BOOSTER: What? THIS thing's a cake?

You have the power to say anything you want, so why not say something positive?
- Frank Capra

(in response to an interview question "Do you have a pet peeve having to do with this biz?")
People who write below their abilities in order to crank out tons of books and make a buck. Especially Christian authors who do that. Outsiders judge us for it, and make fun of us for it, and it makes Jesus look bad. We of all artists on earth should be the most concerned with doing our best possible work at all times. We of all people should write with all our hearts, as if writing for the Lord and not for men.
- Athol Dickson


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Postby uc pseudonym » Sat May 15, 2004 2:27 pm

Very good. I believe this may be my favorite section of the play to date, mainly due to massive quantities of Engrish.
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Postby kirakira » Sun May 16, 2004 1:36 pm

*lol* ^^ Hee, I can't wait for more!!
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Postby TheMelodyMaker » Sun May 16, 2004 9:28 pm

More I can wait for not. ^_~
[color=RoyalBlue]@)}~`,~ [/color]Carry this rose in your signature as thanks to Inkhana, for all she has done for us in the past.Even though she is no longer a moderator, she has done an awful lot for us while she was and she deserves thanks. ^_^
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Postby Zilch » Mon May 17, 2004 1:34 pm

Glad to know you guys liked it. Lemme tweak a few things online, and I'll see how the creative juices are flowing...

Okay, here you go!

Scene 3
Of Course My Halo's On Straight...

(Zilch awakes to the sound of his own breath echoing back at him. He finds himself encased in a suit of metallic proportions.)

Zilch: GAH! I'm claustrophobic!

(In his panic, he runs into Calbhach, in the same metal suit, who falls into Ekul, who falls in CobaltAngel, who falls into UC...welll...you know how these things go...they pick themselves up, not before falling over once or twice, of course...)

Ekul: Daaaaaannnnggggg! I'm liking these assault rifles!
Coby: Ekul! What the crap are you doing in this game? It's rated "M"?
Ekul: Aw, geez, sis! Those ratings are never accurate.

(Kirakira. Zilch, UC, and Calbhach run over, breathless.)

UC: We have an entire squad of Elites coming this way, backed by a group of Grunts, and a smattering of Hunters!
Skynes: Oh, my gosh...um...what are those? I've never played Halo....

(The whole of the GRG turn to stare at Skynes.)

GRG: HERETIC!

(They give him a solid whack on the butt with some energy blades they found nearby. As they are berating Skynes, the Covenant breach the hill.)

Spencer: Aw, crap! All troops, confrigulate the fragmentation to oh-zero-niner-niner and kilgrate your plasma rifles to a charge of 42 Benomian volts. Stat!
Kirakria: What the heck is with that?
Spencer: ...um...I dunno...sounded official didn't it?

(Melody Maker runs up, holding a smoky blue ball.)

MelMak: Hey guys! This thing's sticky!
Zilch: AHHH! That's a plasma grenade, you ingrate!

(Zilch snatches the thing from Melody Maker, only to have it stick to him.)

Zilch: Oh, spoot...umm...(he taps a nearby Grunt on the shoulder)'Scuse me, could you hold this?

(He slaps in the Grunt's hand. The Grunt runs off screaming, as usual, and runs into a group of Elites. Various Covenant limbs are expuded from the explosion. In the meantime, CobaltAngel and Kirakira find a Warthog.)

Kirakira: A 50 CALIBER GUN! WITH UNLIMITED AMMO? BOOYASH!
Coby: I'll drive!

(She promptly floors it...but some stupid Marine parked the thing in reverse...)

Coby and Kirakira: PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC,HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(That's the sound of two girls driving a Warthog backwards at just under the sound barrier. Meanwhile, a Elite is sneaking up behind Spencer.)

Calbh: Look out behind you, Spence!

(Spencer spins around to see the Elite in mid-air, energy blade at the ready. Spencer is just about to pray that his death will be quick and painless, when the Elite suddenly goes backwards, propelled by a rocket. He looks to see Ekul grinning, rocket launcher on his shoulder. He's just about to thank him when the familiar KAAAAAAAAAAAA-ZOOOOOOOOOTTTT sound makes an appearance...)
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Postby The_Marauding_Maniac » Mon May 17, 2004 2:49 pm

Wow... I saved spenc- KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTT
Luke was here.
There are 10 types of people in the world, people who can read bianary, and people who can't.
I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIX XX XXI XXII XXIII XXIV XXV XXVI XXVII XXVIII XXIX XXX XXXI XXXII....
TTA: [B]T
he TTA Acronym
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Postby uc pseudonym » Tue May 18, 2004 5:33 am

Well... that was relatively chaotic... I would expect nothing less from a Halo game.
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