Mature prayer topics (older or mature members only, please)

[Whitefang]

For the record, I did not suggest moving out. Especially if you can't afford to support yourself or if you're just going to be at college soon anyway. (Don't give up your free place to live during the summer, it might not be worth it).

Living with one's parents isn't that terrible...yeesh! :p
Mine are pretty strict and I enjoy it. Of course, I don't really do anything to put them out either.

[shooraijin]

That's all true, but if the immediate and most important desire is to get to do what you want without interference, it's the logical conclusion.

[animechica]

@Sapphi: Have you looked around apartments in your area ^^? Or, perhaps a friend that may be in need of a roommate ^^?

Well, I live in a small town with not a lot of opportunities for work, and the big shopping and food districts are at least 20 miles away, so I'd rather live there than in my town for now, and I'm not really familiar with apartments and housing there...

But a happy thing is that I've started learning to drive, so it's a start I guess.

I feel sad..
It's aggravating having to deal with weird things (like a normally 10:00 curfew on summer nights when there's NOTHING I need to be home for, even while my cousins that are my age have no curfew at all) but at the same time I know I'm going to bawl my eyes out when I finally do get out of here because it's my childhood. *sigh*

[Momo-P]

Need major prayers right now. My backsliding seems to be getting worse. I haven't really looked at hentai in like, years, and lately I've found myself doing it. I know I need to stop and really feel horrible and want to be close to God again, but I just feel so out of sorts. Earlier the thought crossed my mind if God was hardening my heart or something, since I was getting so severely into this stuff. Needless to say, I know that's not true.

God isn't going to harden someone's heart if they want to believe in Him. Still, added with my problem, it does give me a sense of worry and doubt like He is going to hand me over to my sin and just let me wander off. Again, I know that won't happen, but I just have this terrible feeling like it's true. I just want it to get better...I'm really sorry for what I've done and I want to be close to Him again. Any prayers would be really appreciated...

[Tsukuyomi]

Need major prayers right now. My backsliding seems to be getting worse. I haven't really looked at hentai in like, years, and lately I've found myself doing it. I know I need to stop and really feel horrible and want to be close to God again, but I just feel so out of sorts. Earlier the thought crossed my mind if God was hardening my heart or something, since I was getting so severely into this stuff. Needless to say, I know that's not true.

God isn't going to harden someone's heart if they want to believe in Him. Still, added with my problem, it does give me a sense of worry and doubt like He is going to hand me over to my sin and just let me wander off. Again, I know that won't happen, but I just have this terrible feeling like it's true. I just want it to get better...I'm really sorry for what I've done and I want to be close to Him again. Any prayers would be really appreciated...

I agree with you. I highly doubt God will just hand you over to your sin ^__^ Perhaps a test ^__^?

May I ask how you got away from your hentai problem the first time ? Just because you fell doesn't mean you can't get up and try again ^^ That sounds easier said then done, but it is possible ^^

I find taking things (depending what it is of course) one day at a time is the best ^__^

Of course, I'll be praying for you ^^

[Momo-P]

I agree with you. I highly doubt God will just hand you over to your sin ^__^ Perhaps a test ^__^?

May I ask how you got away from your hentai problem the first time ? Just because you fell doesn't mean you can't get up and try again ^^ That sounds easier said then done, but it is possible ^^

I find taking things (depending what it is of course) one day at a time is the best ^__^

Of course, I'll be praying for you ^^

Thanks for the prayers Tsukoyomi. And honestly, the last time, I just stopped cold turkey. Considering how severely into it all I was, it's pretty amazing I was able to, but I just did. Right now I'm just trying to do that again since I know God's given me the will power, but...ugh. It's just so frustrating.

Also, you could be right about the testing. The other day when this stuff came over me, I felt so unholy and dirty. Moreso than any other time when I've given into lust. I almost wonder if God didn't let it happen so I COULD feel that way. It's much easier to understand His POV when you genuniely start feeling the same way about things as Him. It's also much easier to resist sin when you it bothers you so heavily, so...maybe that was it...I just hope some other doubts and problems bothering me go away as well. Only a few issues at a time...

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Well, I live in a small town with not a lot of opportunities for work, and the big shopping and food districts are at least 20 miles away, so I'd rather live there than in my town for now, and I'm not really familiar with apartments and housing there...

But a happy thing is that I've started learning to drive, so it's a start I guess.

I feel sad..
It's aggravating having to deal with weird things (like a normally 10:00 curfew on summer nights when there's NOTHING I need to be home for, even while my cousins that are my age have no curfew at all) but at the same time I know I'm going to bawl my eyes out when I finally do get out of here because it's my childhood. *sigh*

Sapphi, I understand your frustrations really well, but boundaries do need to be taken place.

You're 18. You're an adult, yes. But you're also still young. You're growing and learning. Your parents see their 18 year old daughter lying down with a guy and call that inappropriate. As a guy, if I laid down next to the girl of my dreams on a bed, without a shred of a doubt there would be sexual thoughts and desires. Self-control or not, at the very least you're putting your boyfriend at a place of heavy temptation. Maybe he says it's alright and he doesn't have an issue with it. That's most likely a load of bullcrap. It's probably that he's lying so he can lay down next to you.

So my suggestion is to have more boundaries. By getting physical with each other you're creating further soul ties with this person whom you're not even married with yet. I say that you're going too fast here.

You're treading on dangerous territory, Sapphi.

[Tsukuyomi]

Thanks for the prayers Tsukoyomi. And honestly, the last time, I just stopped cold turkey. Considering how severely into it all I was, it's pretty amazing I was able to, but I just did. Right now I'm just trying to do that again since I know God's given me the will power, but...ugh. It's just so frustrating.

Also, you could be right about the testing. The other day when this stuff came over me, I felt so unholy and dirty. Moreso than any other time when I've given into lust. I almost wonder if God didn't let it happen so I COULD feel that way. It's much easier to understand His POV when you genuniely start feeling the same way about things as Him. It's also much easier to resist sin when you it bothers you so heavily, so...maybe that was it...I just hope some other doubts and problems bothering me go away as well. Only a few issues at a time...

Not wanting to feel like that can be one of the biggest motivators ^^ Just keep in mind that you don't want to feel that way again ^^ As small of an idea that is, it's a huge help ^^

Just hang in there You'll get over it

Have you tried occupying your time with something else ^^? Like, drawing or writing ^^?

This may be a bit of shameless promoting, but if you are having any trouble with keeping accountable with projects and whatnot, we can help you ^_________^

[KeybladeWarrior]

A distraction can only go so far. The lustful desire still exists unless the distraction finally ends the temptation.

[Tsukuyomi]

A distraction can only go so far. The lustful desire still exists unless the distraction finally ends the temptation.

Never said it would, but it is a start ^__^

How is everyone doing ^^? I hope (and of course pray) things are a bit easier for everyone 8D

[Tsukuyomi]

I had enough! (And I keep telling myself that each time) So, this time I thought I'd do something different. I decided to shout (not literally) it out.

I HAVE A HENTAI PROBLEM !!!

As corny as this sounds, admitting you have a problem is the first step ^^

Now that you acknowledge that you have a problem (although you said you have already done so), now it's time to think of ways to rid of it ^^

I know simply doing something else won't take it away, but it is a start ^^ Do you have any hobbies you're really into ^^?

Perhaps, every time you get the urge to play an H-game, read your bible until the urge passes ^^?

PS - This IS the place for these topics,right? I found the site from Google and I know others have created threads on the issue. So, am I in the right place or not ?

You're in the right place ^^

Thi type of thing was allowed on the regular Prayer Section, but it had been decided that it may be best to have these sorts of topics separately (in a way) ^__^

I'll pray that you get over this ^^

[shooraijin]

One thing that I know other people has said helps them is working out, if for no other reason than it sublimates those physical urges. Plus it gives you the satisfaction of knowing you've done something healthy for yourself instead.

[K. Ayato]

Recording is not a bad thing. Just be careful that you're doing it for the sake of recording, and not falling into the trap of thinking that recording your clean days vs. the days you slip up is the key to overcoming your addiction to hentai. I've a friend who had been keeping track of days like that, and it was only bringing him down.

Whatever healthy method you choose, do what you can to get plugged into a church fellowship, find someone (in real life) you trust to hold you accountable, and dive deep into the Word. It's not gonna be a walk on easy street, but with God guiding you and us here to help, it can be done .

[Cap'n Nick]

This is exactly the right place to post about such things. You are welcome to ask for prayer here any time, and we will lift you and your struggles up to the Lord.

[Tsukuyomi]

I fell again. After-wards, I felt guilty about it. Especially, since I told you guys that I was trying to stop...

The most important thing is that you are trying righ ^^? I mean, you just won't give in so easily, right ^^?

Just hang in there and stand back up every time you fall

[ShiroiHikari]

I doubt I'll get any advice, and I'm not really looking for any. I just want to get this out, and maybe ask for a little prayer.

Our first anniversary is coming up on September 12, and so far there has been no sex. Not any. We haven't even been, er, "fooling around" much. I think it's affecting me more than I realized. I feel terrible lately. I feel alone and unwanted, and it doesn't help that I've been working full-time and my husband is going to be extremely busy for the next few weeks. To make matters worse, my job is almost over and I will be stuck at home by myself all the time.

I just...don't even know.

[shooraijin]

Annette, I wouldn't even know where to start. I'm really sorry to hear that. That kind of loss of intimate connection would really floor me.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

I say this with as much professionalism and sincerity as I can. Financially possible, have you considered seeking a marriage counselor? A marriage counselor in your situation could probably shed light onto the individual issues you both are dealing with and then seek a comprehensive solution -- with the ultimate goal of you two reclaiming intimacy.

[EireWolf]

ShiroiHikari, you said you're not looking for advice so I won't go there (and I'm not sure what advice to give anyway, aside from seeking marriage counseling as Ryan suggested). But know that I will pray for you and your husband. *hugs*

[Tsukuyomi]

I doubt I'll get any advice, and I'm not really looking for any. I just want to get this out, and maybe ask for a little prayer.

Our first anniversary is coming up on September 12, and so far there has been no sex. Not any. We haven't even been, er, "fooling around" much. I think it's affecting me more than I realized. I feel terrible lately. I feel alone and unwanted, and it doesn't help that I've been working full-time and my husband is going to be extremely busy for the next few weeks. To make matters worse, my job is almost over and I will be stuck at home by myself all the time.

I just...don't even know.

I'm not an expert here (and don't claim to be), but have you guys tried talking about this with one another o_o? I know it seems really weird to talk about this type of thing, but it may be necessary ^__^

You know where to reach me if you ever want to talk ^_^ In the meantime, I'll be praying too

[EricTheFred]

First, congratulations on your upcoming anniversary! The amount of time doesn't really have anything to do with anything, but reaching these landmarks is meaningful in a symbolic sense.

As to the issue, I would hope you do want to ask for advice. Not necessarily of anyone here, that's your call to make, but of someone. I believe strongly that the Lord answered most of our prayers for help long before we ever prayed them, simply by giving us our fellow human beings for comfort. So whether it is a marriage counselor, an experienced married person, a minister of your congregation or one of us, please ask.

If there are things you don't want to post, that's what PM is for. I am willing and available as an 'Experienced Married Person', including an experience possibly similar to yours (I am not making any assumptions, though; what you guys are dealing with could be completely different.). If you need one of the same gender as yourself, I can't think of anyone in the 20+ years of marriage category as myself, but there are certainly wives of longer experience than yours. PM them.

But whatever you do, start talking. This is in my mind a very important part of marriage. (Basically, everything I believe about why sex is and why it is tied to marriage is a direct quote of C.S.Lewis.) I have personally known only one celibate married couple (that I know of) in my life, and they went into it fully aware that's how it was going to be (he wasan advanced case of ALS) They remained happily married until his death, a total of ten years. I'm reasonably certain this is not the sort of situation you are in.

Perhaps it'll help for you to open up if you see someone else go first. Let me give you the story I might have been posting here had CAA existed in 1987: My experience was a combination of separation (we lived in separate countries for five months of our first year of marriage because I could no longer stay and took a job in the US so I could support her and she had no visa yet) and ED (and this was long before Viagra.) The executive summary is, we did not in the old-fashioned sense technically consummate our marriage until we'd been married almost eight months, and even after that I continued to have trouble. The Lord was wise to gift me with a patient wife (and I admit, not only with respect to this particular issue!)

[K. Ayato]

I'm real sorry to hear about this, hon. I know we talked about this on YIM a while ago, but it might be best for you and your husband to get some counseling from a pastor. I'll keep praying for you both. *Hugs*

[animechica]

Sapphi, I understand your frustrations really well, but boundaries do need to be taken place.

You're 18. You're an adult, yes. But you're also still young. You're growing and learning. Your parents see their 18 year old daughter lying down with a guy and call that inappropriate. As a guy, if I laid down next to the girl of my dreams on a bed, without a shred of a doubt there would be sexual thoughts and desires. Self-control or not, at the very least you're putting your boyfriend at a place of heavy temptation. Maybe he says it's alright and he doesn't have an issue with it. That's most likely a load of bullcrap. It's probably that he's lying so he can lay down next to you.

So my suggestion is to have more boundaries. By getting physical with each other you're creating further soul ties with this person whom you're not even married with yet. I say that you're going too fast here.

You're treading on dangerous territory, Sapphi.

The thing is, we're basically engaged. We talk about getting married like we talk about the weather. Of course, it hasn't been made official because we're not at that stage in our lives yet where we can afford to move out. And I don't really understand the "going too fast" thing; I've known him for some years now as a friend. It's not as if I picked him up off the street and brought him into my room.

Anyway, I appreciate your input. It's gotten a little easier as I've gotten less used to cuddling so much, but it's still hard since I'm now a sleep-deprived college student and when I'm with my boyfriend, I pretty much just want to lie down but half the time I can't T_T

[EricTheFred]

[quote="Sapphi (post: 1342080)"]The thing is, we're basically engaged. We talk about getting married like we talk about the weather. Of course, it hasn't been made official because we're not at that stage in our lives yet where we can afford to move out. And I don't really understand the "going too fast" thing]

Sapphi, I haven't been a boy your age in many years, I admit, but I feel like I can remember what it was like. I can just imagine what I would have been like with a girl who liked laying down on bed with me to cuddle. However clean it may be in your mind, he had better being very careful with the more masculine bits of his brain. It doesn't mean he doesn't respect you if he does think about such things, BTW. Guys (especially that age) are like that. It is completely possible for a guy to have ideal pure respectful loving thoughts of the person he cares about while simultaneously sexually objectifying her vessel. I think my concern is, if he is trying to be good, you're making it more difficult for him.

As for your parents... sorry about that. We're like that. We see dangers, remember every temptation we faced and every slip we made around that age and our fears for our children run wild. And when I see my neice with her little boy (born when she was seventeen), or hear about another (not a real neice but the daughter of family friends... but theirs and our children grew up calling the other couples 'Aunt' and 'Uncle') dancing in a strip joint for a living, or watch right now while yet another is busy planning her hurry up wedding before the baby bump gets too much bigger, I have to say... your parents have probably got a lot of the same examples around them and their fears for you are very large.

Finally, you aren't engaged until you do make it official. It changes a lot of stuff in your thought process and your relationship. You won't understand what I mean until you two make that commitment to each other.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Eric the Fred speaks much wisdom here. Seeing that he is coming from the parental perspective. And speaking from my own experiences, I will say that I have to agree with him.

[goldenspines]

I doubt I'll get any advice, and I'm not really looking for any. I just want to get this out, and maybe ask for a little prayer.

Our first anniversary is coming up on September 12, and so far there has been no sex. Not any. We haven't even been, er, "fooling around" much. I think it's affecting me more than I realized. I feel terrible lately. I feel alone and unwanted, and it doesn't help that I've been working full-time and my husband is going to be extremely busy for the next few weeks. To make matters worse, my job is almost over and I will be stuck at home by myself all the time.

I just...don't even know.

I'll definitely be praying for you, Nette. I don't think I can even begin to understand how you are feeling. But I wish, at least, I could come give you a big hug and say you are definitely wanted and not alone.

[animechica]

Sapphi, I haven't been a boy your age in many years, I admit, but I feel like I can remember what it was like. I can just imagine what I would have been like with a girl who liked laying down on bed with me to cuddle. However clean it may be in your mind, he had better being very careful with the more masculine bits of his brain. It doesn't mean he doesn't respect you if he does think about such things, BTW. Guys (especially that age) are like that. It is completely possible for a guy to have ideal pure respectful loving thoughts of the person he cares about while simultaneously sexually objectifying her vessel. I think my concern is, if he is trying to be good, you're making it more difficult for him.

As for your parents... sorry about that. We're like that. We see dangers, remember every temptation we faced and every slip we made around that age and our fears for our children run wild. And when I see my neice with her little boy (born when she was seventeen), or hear about another (not a real neice but the daughter of family friends... but theirs and our children grew up calling the other couples 'Aunt' and 'Uncle') dancing in a strip joint for a living, or watch right now while yet another is busy planning her hurry up wedding before the baby bump gets too much bigger, I have to say... your parents have probably got a lot of the same examples around them and their fears for you are very large.

Finally, you aren't engaged until you do make it official. It changes a lot of stuff in your thought process and your relationship. You won't understand what I mean until you two make that commitment to each other.

He's 21 actually :b
But thanks for your input. It makes me sad at times that sex is so pervasive.. quite honestly one of the biggest things I'm looking forward to is getting married and not having it be such a "big deal" anymore. I feel like both the negative stigma and the media hype about sex causes it to seem like the Best Thing Ever and really I just want to "get it over with" so I can enjoy other aspects of my life >_> Such as cuddling. haha

But yeah, it is like that. All around me, people are getting pregnant, having sex.. I knew a girl who basically sold herself at age 11. I guess the frustrating thing is that nobody ever talked to me about sex, or asked me my views on it, or anything like that. I feel like it would've really eased some of the concern if they could hear my own thoughts on the subject and not just hope that I do the right thing... (of course, that's not gonna happen now as I refuse to get that personal with people I don't trust) But whatever. I do understand. I just don't like the comparisons, since other people my age have different worldviews (many people who attended my Christian school were slutty and questionable in their faith - it was just assumed that everyone was a Christian unless people made it clear they weren't, which nobody did, because they didn't want people on their case).

Yeah.. the only reason we're not officially is that people (parents) would likely freak out. I really don't want to deal with that.. I'm actually kinda dreading the wedding ceremony because I hate being in the center of attention especially about something that personal. Gah...

[Tsukuyomi]

Sex can be a great thing, but I'd imagine IF it's with the one you love ^^

As for getting hitched, you guys can just make it a little ceremony between you and a priest ^^?

[Yamamaya]

Hey Sapphi.

First of all, lying down with a guy, even if you're not having sex, is a big no no. As a guy, if a girl did that, it would require all of my self control to control my sexual impulses. Guy's get erections and become sexually arroused far more easily than women. In other words, what you did was really putting a huge amount of temptation on him. Also cuddling may seem kinda innocent but to guys it's relatively sexual.

I'm not judging you at all I'm just saying how a guy would feel. As for marriage, imo, getting married at the age of 18 is a big no no. It's one thing to talk of marriage, it is another thing entirely to actually get married.

In addition, I would strongly recomend that you not speed up the process of courting so you can engage in sexual activity. Definitely not the best of ideas.

Also ErictheFred, you might want to edit your post. You said "a boy your age." Sapphi is a girl

[Tsukuyomi]

Also ErictheFred, you might want to edit your post. You said "a boy your age." Sapphi is a girl

Lol, I lol'd XDDD

Yeah, marrying only because you want sex is a big no no, but you two love one another and stick with one another, then it's all good ^^