The United Federation of CAA MiSTies

[Doubleshadow]

Welcome!

Welcome to all who bravely venture into the unknown expanse of this humble thread to experience to what may lay within. Greetings to my fellow appreciators of the verbal eviscerating of justly deserving and astonishingly shameful abominations on valuable and perfectly innocent celluloid released to wreck havoc upon the unsuspecting masses.

Provided they aren't blind and deaf, but then they have bigger problems to worry about.

[Nate]

You know you want me, baby.

[Doubleshadow]

You know you want me, baby.

Crow!

[Nate]

Of course. Though to be honest I'm more of a Servo fan, but I'll have to be a blasphemer and say that I sort of prefer Josh Weinstein's Servo to Kevin Murphy's.

However let us not turn this into a thread about who is better than who. Those never end well.

[rocklobster]

Yeah, I miss MST3K. And I'm too cheap for the Rifftracks. So sue me.

[Htom Sirveaux]

Oh, Creepy Girl. *sigh*

I wish I could do the Rifftrax thing without just ordering the DVDs. What passes for a computer at my place is a PS3 with an internet hookup. So of course I can't run the audio and watch the movie at the same time.

I liked the extra bit somewhere in the new volume (XV) that's a video of the MST3k cast & crew at San Diego Comic Con. Someone asked what exactly went on at Gizmonic Institute and underground in Deep 13, and who would win in a corporate battle between Gizmonic and Mr. Burns' nuclear power plant or some other fictional corporation. Joel Hodgson answers simply: "We just knew it was shaped like a G."

[Davidizer13]

Oh, man, Mystery Science Theatre 3000. One of the best shows ever. If you haven't ever seen it, you should. Start with the short "The Truck Farmer."

"Praise the Truck farmer. Bow down before him!"

"Worship the Truck Farmer at the church of your choice!"

"Offer burnt sacrifices to the almighty Truck Farmer!"

"Hail truck Farmer! Hail Truck Farmer!"

And, for full episodes, my favorite one is "Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders." It's 3 Twilight Zone-ish episodes that the execs tried to mash together into some family movie, with The Princess Bride-ish framing (featuring Ernest Borgnine!) and stuff. It doesn't work, and it's hilarious.

SciFi (or Syfy, as it's soon to be called, seriously!) should atone for its sins of cancelling such a great show by bringing Mike/Joel/someone back with the 'Bots to riff those direct-to-video cheapies the network's so deadset on showing on Saturdays. That's just what I'd like to see happen. It'd certainly be better than watching 'em straight.

[Htom Sirveaux]

I like the "Why Study Industrial Arts?" short.

"I like the smell of fresh woodchips and sawdust."
[Crow] I put them in my underwear.

And two of my favorite sketches of the bots at their best:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQ84i9QdIQk
"And then the moon came out, and it was like Jerry WILLED it!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ree220FiOEg
"Hinky dinky dinky dinky parrrlez vous . . ."
Kevin Murphy has a surprisingly good singing voice.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

MITCHELL!!!

[Bobtheduck]

To the ends... of the earth...
to the... ends... of... the... earth...
to the... ends? Of the... Earth?

[Roy Mustang]

I like the "Why Study Industrial Arts?" short.

You got to love those 50's school short films and those were to me, the best ones on MST3K.

The Why Study Industrila Arts? short has a good number of quotes.

"..because you're bad][color="Red"]Col. Roy Mustang[/color][/font]

[Nate]

DEEP HURTING.

Though I'd be hard-pressed to pick a favorite episode or clip from MST3K. Most of it is just so fantastic that it's difficult to discern which come out on top.

The bad moments are unfortunately much easier to pick. Hamlet was pretty awful. Their riffing was fairly weak on that one and the movie was just so terrible I couldn't even get through the episode the first time I tried watching it.

[Htom Sirveaux]

Yeah, it wasn't one of the better ones. I think the main reason why the riffing was lackluster Is because it's hard to do that with dialogue that's in old English iambic pentameter verse. All they really had to go on were the visuals, which were horribly grainy and dark.

On the other hand, without that episode, there'd be no Htom Sirveaux!

[Maledicte]

There's so many episodes....I need to see them all...

One of my favorites is the Giant Spider Invasion one or whatever it's called. Whenever there's a group of people running or crashing their cars through things: "Yeaaaah Green Bay Packers won the Super Bowl woooo!"

Also, from Overdrawn at the Memory Bank:

"I really do like pie."
"I know a couple of guys..."
"They really do like pie."

[Doubleshadow]

http://www.ncm.com/Fathom/Comedy/RiffTrax.aspx?utm_source=Rifftrax_Homepage&utm_medium=RT_Banner&utm_campaign=Rifftrax_Event_Pag

There are not words for how awesome this is!

Mike, Bill, and Kevin will be making a live broadcast of their riff of Plan 9 while it is simultaneously shown in theatres this August! *o* I am so there!

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Dude, I know Mike's already recorded a solo riffing for Plan 9, but a group effort is still WAY overdue!

The bad moments are unfortunately much easier to pick. Hamlet was pretty awful. Their riffing was fairly weak on that one and the movie was just so terrible I couldn't even get through the episode the first time I tried watching it.

Monster a Go Go is pretty rough sailing too, for me anyway. There's just so little going on for them to work with.

[Doubleshadow]

Dude, I know Mike's already recorded a solo riffing for Plan 9, but a group effort is still WAY overdue!

Oh, yes.

And the Hamlet is one of my absolute favorite episodes! 8D MST and the Bard! Also, Future Wars holds a special place in my heart. Cyborgs from the future with dinosaurs? Oh heck yes! (As you can see, I have very eclectic tastes XD)

[Htom Sirveaux]

I love Sci Fi (or SyFy now, whatever) Original Movies. It's like nobody even cares that they're so bad. I was watching a bit of one at work yesterday, something about a big alligator from what I could guess, and two parts within a couple minutes of each other had me laughing.

One was like, this girl was leaving to go shopping and a guy (presumably the boyfriend) says "Don't . . . spend all my money."
"Oh," I said, "forgot our . . . line for a second there, did we?"

Soon after, the same guy (I think) was in a pool, and he's swimming underwater and the alligator swims toward him, opens wide, and CHOMP! Cut to somewhere else for a few seconds, cut back to the edge of the pool, and a bloody hand reaches up and the dude tries to drag himself out, looking not much the worse.
I thought, wait, didn't that huge alligator with jaws the size of a grown man's torso just bite the guy from the front? WTF?


And they have a whole series of zombie movies that are delightfully afwul.

[Nate]

The more MST3K I watch the more I become convinced that there are too many horrible movies for there to be a definitive "worst" movie.

Take for example the episode I watched last night from the 15th box set, entitled "Racket Girls." It starts out with a women's wrestling match. For about ten minutes. No music or anything, just really boring and lame wrestling. Then some girl talks to some sleazy guy. Then there's some talk about sleazy guy owing Mr. Big some money. Then more wrestling. Then a short Italian guy accidentally (or purposely? Who knows) kills a horse. Then more wrestling. Then sleazy guy goes on trial to testify against Mr. Big. But he doesn't. Then he gets some money from a safe and gets chased by Mr. Big's goons, who kill him, and then they get arrested by the police.

At no point did this movie have anything even remotely resembling a plot, the wrestling seemed pointless, and the lack of any music save for the ending scenes made the whole movie just ridiculously BORING. Heck it even fails as eye-candy since none of the girls were the least bit attractive! Manos may be bad, but I can sit through that even without Joel and the bots riffing it, but Racket Girls I would probably die if I tried to watch it without the riffs.

[Davidizer13]

Take for example the episode I watched last night from the 15th box set, entitled "Racket Girls." It starts out with a women's wrestling match. For about ten minutes. No music or anything, just really boring and lame wrestling. Then some girl talks to some sleazy guy. Then there's some talk about sleazy guy owing Mr. Big some money. Then more wrestling. Then a short Italian guy accidentally (or purposely? Who knows) kills a horse. Then more wrestling. Then sleazy guy goes on trial to testify against Mr. Big. But he doesn't. Then he gets some money from a safe and gets chased by Mr. Big's goons, who kill him, and then they get arrested by the police.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow. That has to be like the second or third-best movie I've ever heard of. (Top honors goes to this one.) And yeah, Manos was really, really bad. Not even the riffing could save that thing.

By the way, someday, I wish to be known as Splint Chesthair. Or Blast Hardcheese.

[Htom Sirveaux]

Good call. Here, in fact, is the entire list of "Space Mutiny" names.

Slab Bulkhead
Fridge Largemeat
Punt Speedchunk
Butch Deadlift
Bold Bigflank
Splint Chesthair
Flint Ironstag
Bolt Vanderhuge
Thick McRunfast
Blast Hardcheese
Buff Drinklots
Trunk Slamchest
Fist Rockbone
Stump Beefknob
Smash Lampjaw
Punch Rockgroin
Buck Plankchest
Stump Chunkman
Dirk Hardpec
Rip Steakface
Slate Slabrock
Crud Bonemeal
Brick Hardmeat
Whip Slagcheek
Punch Side-iron
Gristle McThornbody
Slate Fistcrunch
Buff Hardback
Bob Johnson (no, wait...)
Blast Thickneck
Crunch Buttsteak
Slab Squatthrust
Lump Beefbroth
Touch Rustrod
Reef Blastbody
Big McLargehuge
Smoke Manmuscle
Beat Punchbeef
Hack Blowfist
Roll Fizzlebeef

Pick one, by all means. Then (if you have the guts), get your SN changed to it. I will happily address you as Mr. Rip Steakface.

[Doubleshadow]

The only one I actually hated was Village of the Giants. It made me furious. Kitten with a Whip was close.

But that's no fun.

For bad movies, Bride of the Monster. Bela Lugosi didn't deserve that, but it makes for good riffing.

I call Butch Deadlift!

[Nate]

I want to change my name to Big McLargeHuge.

That, or Bruce Boxliker.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Dang it, I like Big McLargeHuge!

The more MST3K I watch the more I become convinced that there are too many horrible movies for there to be a definitive "worst" movie.

Indeed. I can't help but laugh at the big budget Hollywood pictures some people try to pass off as the worst movie they've ever seen. Sure Battlefield Earth may suck, but it still displays a level of basic competence that The Creeping Terror or Beast of Yucca Flats could never even hope for.

[Davidizer13]

I want to change my name to Big McLargeHuge.

That, or Bruce Boxliker.

Just as long as I get Beat Punchbeef.

[Nate]

Sure Battlefield Earth may suck, but it still displays a level of basic competence that The Creeping Terror or Beast of Yucca Flats could never even hope for.

The only thing I would argue that makes Battlefield Earth worse than those other two films is that Battlefield Earth is shot entirely at angles, which is really REALLY annoying.

On the subject of bad movies, I saw this mentioned on Yahoo the other day and I knew I had to share it here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Room_(film)

"The Room has been cited by many critics as one of the worst films ever made, and has been called "the Citizen Kane of bad movies." After a brief run in Los Angeles, the film went on to develop a cult following in the city, and continues to have midnight screenings around America."

They showed lines for this movie and the lines looked like freaking Comiccon lines, that's how popular this movie is. And everyone who sees it admits it's horrible but loves it for how awful it is.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

I've been hearing about that a lot lately. The clips I see on Youtube are pretty funny... I dunno if they're Ed Wood level, but funny.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Not to double post or anything but for you MSTie night owls out there, TCM Underground is showing Monster a Go Go and Giant Spider Invasion tonight. I'm gonna watch and see how many riffs I can supply from memory.

[Htom Sirveaux]

In the cafeteria at work, they sometimes play this '50s doo-wop stuff. The other day they played one and I was mentally singing "Where, oh, Werewolf?" right over it. It fit perfectly.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

That's a good 'un, though "The United Servo Academy Men's Chorus Hymn" will always be my favorite MST3k musical moment.