Postby Ingemar » Sat Apr 24, 2004 10:34 pm
Your situation is annoying, but not grave. I remember my mom frequently telling me to "get out and get to know people!" Well guess what Mom--I'm too "different" to be accepted by any-which type of person or to get along with the mainstream! That's tough. But if you silence that voice within you that pushes you away from others because...
--they like music you hate
--they wear clothing that... uh, is just ugly
--they use foul language (not just four-letter words, but speech you would expect from a troglodyte or Thad the Brown Barbarian)
--their "culture" (this includes sub- and pop-culture) irritates/disgusts you
...then you can see what qualities they have beyond the external and appreciate them for that, while regarding their failings as mere trifles. You'd be surprised to see how deep and interesting a person is if you really "know" them. Of course, if even after you look past the external and see that the person is truly wretched, no use casting your pearls with them.
But I'm a really asocial person at heart, so my opinion might not matter to you.
As for your internet usage, your parents may have a point. The internet is a filter; for one thing, you can't even communicate with your friends in real time, not even with IM (differences in typing speed and IM lag factor into this). The internet provides an opportunity for a person to create an idealized version of his or her self; a persona often seems more interesting than the person. If you met your online friends in person, how would you react? How would you regard them if they don't live up to the image you conjured up in your mind of them, the image they created in a forum? And what if that person lied about his or her self all along? You can never know for sure what a person is like if you've only met him or her through the net. For all you know, I could be a 39-year-old hillbilly with a mullet and a beer gut.
And besides, "net friends" are not really people. They're words; they're 1's and 0's; they're ether. Sure, their is a person behind that keyboard, but like I said, they may be making a false or idealized portrayal of themselves. And even if they are honest about themselves, you're always limited by geography and finances. How much of a friend is your net friend if he's not willing to travel 10 time zones to see you? Finally, net friends because of their nature as faceless, fleshless beings, lack all the intimacy of real friends. You can't reach out and touch your net friend. You can't give him a hug or a kiss, and you don't have the nuances of body language and facial expressions.
Besides, even the strongest net friendships hang by a very fragile thread--an internet connection. What if your suddenly goes away? Or his/hers? I used to worry about former net friends. When they haven't posted or I'Med in months without an indication that they left or were busy, I immediately assumed they died.
Anyway, just try to meet people and be friendly. Something good may come out of that.
Job 7:16
I loathe my life; I would not live forever. Let me alone, for my days are but a breath.