Mature prayer topics (older or mature members only, please)

[Lengai]

But you do need to realize that biblically, sex outside of marriage IS a sin. And consciously choosing to sin anyway - what does that say about your relationship with Christ? That's between you and God, of course, but to me..Choosing to live in sin, as a Christian, is like nailing Christ back onto the cross.

And, frankly, I would hope that your relationship could still last when sex is taken out of the equation. You say it's your connection..Shouldn't you have a non-sexual connection, too?

And really, this isn't going to be about you trying your hardest to stop. I think it's a matter of asking God to change your heart so that you do see that this is not what God intended for a premartial relationship. Perhaps you don't feel that it's wrong because you don't want guilt to get in the way of enjoying it? I'm just making some guesses.

Either way, though, God still loves you, and you cannot lose your salvation. I'm praying for you, though.

[animewarrior]

... My question is: because of this one little thing, will I not be forgiven?

You will be forgiven by God because he forgives all, yet to continue your actions (at least without getting married or something) is a bad course.

[goldenspines]

Roses, the Bible says that all sins can be forgiven by God. Yes, what you're doing is a sin; fornication or rather, sexual immorality. I hope you realize this.

And yes, of course it doesn't feel "wrong", otherwise, who would sin if it always felt "wrong"?

All sin (but especially sexual sin) is like a spiral downwards, once you start going down its path, it gets harder and harder to turn back, and pretty soon, you don't see the point in trying to get out of it at all. Of course, if you've been actually reading our responses to you, you would see that we've been telling you over and over and over again, that God, who loves you more than even this best friend you've been sharing your body with for two years ever could, can save you. Yet, since you don't want to be saved from what I can see, you've chosen to accept whatever consequences may spring from your sin. And believe me, there will be consequences.

Stop trying to justify your actions to us, Roses. Sexual immorality, stealing, lying, murdering, etc. are all equal sins in God's eyes. One is not worse or better than another.

There's a good verse for this whole situation in 1 Corinthians 6:12-14:

"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. "Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"—but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also.

To explain the verse further, you can say, "I can do whatever I like because it 'feels' okay." But that doesn't mean it will be beneficial to your physical, spiritual, and emotional health. God doesn't want to take the "fun" out of life, He just cares(probably too much) about us and He doesn't want to see us hurt.

You're problem is NOT trying to find out if you'll be forgiven or not, your problem is that you're not trusting in God and giving you're all to Him. You're choosing what "feels right" over God's undying love for you.

[minakichan]

I'm not the type to quote scripture on and on, but we all know the Corinthians passage-- if, to put it frankly, you're too horny to control yourself, it's better that you get tied down. If you guys get married, you can get it on as much as you want.

You yourself say you have a really strong bond with him and he's your best friend. That's the best situation for marriage-- it's better to get married to a guy you've known your whole life and will still love even when the fire dies down. And honestly, if you two really love each other that much, why wouldn't you want to get married?

[xblack_x_rosesx]

Ok, well:

Honestly, if we had it our way we would get hitched. It's not an issue of whether or not we want to or are ready, it's just a lot of little things that are just making it difficult. Like, the University I'm in more-or-less demands that the students live in res for 2 years in order to be accepted into the University (unless you have special needs where you need to live outside res), so I've already paid for my residence fee's and am set up there. That and Matt is working up north in oil, and he'll be working 2 weeks on, 7 days off kind of thing, so he lives at home when he comes home.
It's just not an entirely good time for either of us to like... get a home and stuff. I mean, neither of us are really in any rush to get married, because neither of us have doubts that we won't, so...

And as for the issue being between God and me- I know. Frig. I know. I'm so...confused about my faith, I have been... for years. I haven't felt like a christian in... years. I just feel really empty about it, and a lot of the time I definitely feel like I should just stop trying. I don't know how to fix this, because, in my mind, I've tried everything.

To clear things up, my boyfriend and I have only recently started having intercourse- it's not like we've been intimate for two years. It was a solid year and three quarters of emotional, abstinent, relationship. So it's not like "if we cut that sexual connection we won't work out", it's just it strengthens our relationship in a way that ONLY sex can.
If that makes sense.

Anyway.
I'm just... really confused.
I've cried to God so many times telling him to forgive me and I'll change, but I haven't felt his presence in my life for like, at least 3 or 4 years. I'm longing for him, and I don't get it.
I've prayed, read the bible, gone to church, talked to pastors, gone on retreats, been a good, respectable christian kid.
I'm God-lonely.

-sigh-
I just don't want to go to hell over something like this. Because I guess I AM choosing a "life of sin", but I don't want to live in a world where, in Gods eyes, having sex with someone you love is as bad as murder. It just doesn't seem right.
Sin is sin.
I get it.
And I keep sinning.

And I know this is an issue I have to figure out myself, but you guys really seem to... get it. I just wish someone else could be in charge of my life. God's supposed to be that guy, right? But he's not...

gah.

[minakichan]

This is probably a naive way of looking at things, but can you guys at least make the commitment and get engaged, with plans to get married after college? At any rate, there ARE married couples that don't actually live together due to work (I can think of a few that see their spouses once every couple MONTHS, orz), but getting married just means, "OK, we've made this commitment, we're announcing to the world that we're only going to be for each other and are totally unavailable to anyone else, and that we do want to be together."

[xblack_x_rosesx]

I guess that makes sense.

He gave me a promise ring last month... it's legit too, it's like, a gold ring with a real pearl on it. He gave it to me after we started having intercourse, because he wanted me to know fer shiz that he was serious about staying with me, and not using me or whatever.

But ya... we talked about it and he said probably next spring would be a reasonable time to get engaged.
But ya, I agree with you there. =]

[Lengai]

It does make sense. Sex creates an emotional and physical bond like no other.

I think part of the problem is that, because you are choosing to sin, even though it doesn't feel wrong, it's created a barrier between you and God. Repentance needs to take place, and that can only happen when you have the Lord's help. Times when I've sinned and didn't want to admit it, I've ended up feeling far from God. He's had to draw me back in when I realize what a jerk I've been to Him.

I know it hard. I've got a boyfriend whom I've been dating for two years, and it is so tempting sometimes for us to go too far. We're waiting for marriage, but it's no bed of roses when you love someone that much.

It's not having sex with someone you love that's bad. Premarital sex is twisting what God meant sex to be - between a husband and wife. I know you probably don't want to hear book recommendations, but if you really do want to change, I've got a few that might help you.

And the Bride Wore White: Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity
By Dannah Gresh

How to Stay Christian in College
By J. Bubziszewski

Now What? God's Guide to Life for Graduates
by John Ortberg

All deal in part of in whole with sex.

I do think that you're problem goes beyond the sex, though. I'm so sorry to hear that you're having problems connecting with the Lord! Please don't give up, and know that we're praying for you.

[goldenspines]

With God, it needs to be all or nothing. If you don't give your all to Him, He can't help you out since He gave us all free will.
You can't just ask God to come save you with promises that you'll change, you need to make the effort and open your heart to Him.

Granted, everyone sins, but the important part is that there's never a point while you're sinning that God "gives up" on you. But as long as you sin, you have your back to God, thus why you can't "feel" His presence near you.

I mean, I could try to say that the best thing is to either break up with your bf or marry him or whatever(everyone seems to be going with a marriage thing though and that's fine, considering the circumstances), but the root of it all comes down to God, I think. And that's where I'm trying to point you, back to Him.

And, I'll leave you again with another verse, which is still from the same passage in 1 Corinthians 6, only it's verses 19-20.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

[xblack_x_rosesx]

With God, it needs to be all or nothing. If you don't give your all to Him, He can't help you out since He gave us all free will.
You can't just ask God to come save you with promises that you'll change, you need to make the effort and open your heart to Him.

Granted, everyone sins, but the important part is that there's never a point while you're sinning that God "gives up" on you. But as long as you sin, you have your back to God, thus why you can't "feel" His presence near you.

That sounds about right.

I don't know how to "open my heart to him". I mean, I'm not using this as an excuse, but I was raised for the first decade or so of my life in a very christian environment, then we moved and all of a sudden my family became very... not so christian. So, I asked to be saved when I was like, 12. Half because I wanted to be saved, half cos my parents wanted to "be there" when I was saved. So, honestly, I've never had a "moment" in my life where God "came to me" or "revealed himself to me". I was always just in an environment where mommy and daddy said "Jesus died for your sins" and I smiled and nodded and it was more of a fact than something I'd have faith in. I've never had even a moment of clarity with my faith, it's never been easy sailing. So I don't exactly know what "opening your heart" to God can possibly mean. I'm giving him opportunities to come to me, I'm open to him, maybe not as open as I should be, but I have no idea how I can be more open.

I just don't know HOW to like... let him help me. It seems the general consensus here that I've got to let God change my life, let God lead me down my right path, but like... those are all just metaphors that I can't put into practice, cos I don't even know HOW.
It all sounds fine and dandy in theory, but as soon as I get offline and realize whats going on, I feel, pardon the language, screwed.

=\

[Lengai]

Well, it seems like you need to examine your relationship with God in the first place. If your decision was based on getting "fire insurance" or the expectations on your parents, maybe it's time for a re-dedication. Lots of Christians have the problem of getting saved and them doing nothing with their faith, when it should be active and growing. It's a relationship and all that. A lot of times, that's the culprit, I think, when people who are Christians don't live like Christians.

Remember the old adage: God helps those who help themselves.

It's got to be a team effort between you and God. Also, if you don't have a regular quiet time with God, I think you should invest in one. Get a devotional or somesuch. You may want to consider getting an accountability partner, too. Another woman, who has a strong walk with the Lord and whom you trust.

[minakichan]

I guess that makes sense.

He gave me a promise ring last month... it's legit too, it's like, a gold ring with a real pearl on it. He gave it to me after we started having intercourse, because he wanted me to know fer shiz that he was serious about staying with me, and not using me or whatever.

But ya... we talked about it and he said probably next spring would be a reasonable time to get engaged.
But ya, I agree with you there. =]

I'm just going to take an aside from all the advice and the support and the well-meaning realism here and say this:

Awww, that's so romantic~~~!!

k I'm done.

[goldenspines]

That sounds about right.

I don't know how to "open my heart to him". I mean, I'm not using this as an excuse, but I was raised for the first decade or so of my life in a very christian environment, then we moved and all of a sudden my family became very... not so christian. So, I asked to be saved when I was like, 12. Half because I wanted to be saved, half cos my parents wanted to "be there" when I was saved. So, honestly, I've never had a "moment" in my life where God "came to me" or "revealed himself to me". I was always just in an environment where mommy and daddy said "Jesus died for your sins" and I smiled and nodded and it was more of a fact than something I'd have faith in. I've never had even a moment of clarity with my faith, it's never been easy sailing. So I don't exactly know what "opening your heart" to God can possibly mean. I'm giving him opportunities to come to me, I'm open to him, maybe not as open as I should be, but I have no idea how I can be more open.

I just don't know HOW to like... let him help me. It seems the general consensus here that I've got to let God change my life, let God lead me down my right path, but like... those are all just metaphors that I can't put into practice, cos I don't even know HOW.
It all sounds fine and dandy in theory, but as soon as I get offline and realize whats going on, I feel, pardon the language, screwed.

=\

I think I understand a bit of what you mean. Do you remember Jesus calling His disciples in the Bible? He simply said "Come." and they dropped everything; their jobs, their families, everything that was important in their lives and followed Him. Now, this doesn't mean that once you follow God and give yourself to Him that you lose everything important to you, it just means that God should be the one that matters the most in your life because He not only gave you this life and blessed you with a family and even your bf (though you sinning was not His intention), but He also sent His Son to die for every sin you make in life.

But I may be getting way off thread topic going down this certain path. Feel free to PM me if you like, Roses.

[Reon]

I think my problem is this:
will I be forgiven if I continue doing this?

Simply put, sin always has consequences - even if your forgiven. The following is from a sermon (it was put much more eloquently when said - im paraphrasing).

Two kids are on top of a hill, snows everywhere. The kids push a snowball down the hill. As it rolls down the hill it starts to get bigger and bigger until its bigger than a house. The two boys look past the snowball and see the house. Inside the house is a family eating dinner around the fireplace, the snowballs heading right for the house. Immediately the two boys fall to to the ground and ask God for forgiveness. They are indeed forgiven, but thats not going to stop the snowball. The snowballs heading right into the house and people are going to die, sin always has consequences.

The Bible warns us of not getting comfortable with sin until we don't see it as a sin anymore - similar to the way human wisdom can blind us to truth.

I hope I'm not coming off harsh or anything Rose, I'm just giving you my honest opinion because I've gone through something similar - two years of my life spent. I felt like I knew I shouldn't have, but got comfortable anyways in the position I was in till it felt right. It wasn't till I got out of it that I saw how far that was from the truth and how badly I never wanted to be in the position before it had happened and after.


--------------------------

On a personal note, woke up craving to masturbate. I'm wondering why, it could of been a dream I had about my ex I had two nights ago or the fact see sent me a Facebook friend request - no clue. I'm ignoring it none the less - I'm not the same me and I still want more time to mature. Theres no reason to reconnect. Oh btw, I didn't. Again I'll say it, the more you find yourself not doing it (masturbating), the easier it is. *cough - self control* (a fruit of the spirit)

[Tsukuyomi]

@Bri: I believe that you will, but does that mean you'll continue down this path?

I asked this one already, but I think ti was overlooked (tis alright ). Are you using protection during all of this?

[xblack_x_rosesx]

(I'm on the pill. I've been on the pill nearly since we started. I'm very consistant with it too, I take it at the same time and I haven't missed one, so. Tis all good =] )

[chibiphonebooth]

ok, a couple things roses.

Originally posted by xblack_x_rosesx (post: 1321515):
... My question is: because of this one little thing, will I not be forgiven?

as long as you are willing to keep going to G-d and asking for forgiveness, He will keep forgiving.

WE stop asking for forgiveness because eventually we can't handle that feeling of remorse over and over again, and we start making up excuses for why we don't really have to ask for forgiveness.

So yes, G-d will continue to forgive you, but will you continue to ask for forgiveness? or is it going to make you move away from G-d and harden your heart?

but it has to do with intent. If you are going to G-d just so you can be forgiven and go right back to sex, then you are lying to yourself and G-d. He sees your intent. Don't ask for forgiveness if you really don't mean to amend your life.


and as bradley hathaway puts it, "I'm just a simple dude that thinks sex is special between two people.
One man and one woman in the boundaries of marriage, and when I find the girl that is to be my one it’s with her to our hidden bed we will run, oh we will have lots of fun together the creator will praise and not shun but only after the exchange of vowels and the blessing of the sun will our lives be physically intertwined as one.
Our love making will resound with the loudest ringing and burst through the ceiling and begin ascending into heaven with the angels rejoicing and singing.
God smiling down upon us through our humping true worship resonated,
yea so much more than empty friction will be making but gifts saved in treasured for one another in the exchanging my body her body ours and ours alone for the taking.
In these moments will be the closest intimacy between 2 people possible and for me to do it outside of god’s way doesn't seem causable, to do so would to throw away part of my soul with the girl that was never meant to know that part of me.

But for those of you that have done so know how it feels and goes when that boy or girl you just did is long gone leaving you with a sad song hurting hearts.
You can be made new, poke a teeny tiny hole in your heart for him to shine his light through and you will be made as bright white and as dove take flight around this guilt that has interloped itself around your soul so tightly."


next thing. i'm going to bold the things that stood out to me.

And as for the issue being between God and me- I know. Frig. I know. I'm so...confused about my faith, I have been... for years. I haven't felt like a christian in... years. I just feel really empty about it, and a lot of the time I definitely feel like I should just stop trying. I don't know how to fix this, because, in my mind, I've tried everything.


Anyway.
I'm just... really confused.
I've cried to God so many times telling him to forgive me and I'll change, but I haven't felt his presence in my life for like, at least 3 or 4 years. I'm longing for him, and I don't get it.
I've prayed, read the bible, gone to church, talked to pastors, gone on retreats, been a good, respectable christian kid.
I'm God-lonely.

-sigh-
I just don't want to go to hell over something like this. Because I guess I AM choosing a "life of sin", but I don't want to live in a world where, in Gods eyes, having sex with someone you love is as bad as murder. It just doesn't seem right.
Sin is sin.
I get it.
And I keep sinning.

And I know this is an issue I have to figure out myself, but you guys really seem to... get it. I just wish someone else could be in charge of my life. God's supposed to be that guy, right? But he's not...

gah.

Okay. let me touch on a couple stuff here.

Frig. I know. I'm so...confused about my faith, I have been... for years. I haven't felt like a christian in... years. [B] cried to God so many times telling him to forgive me and I'll change, but I haven't felt his presence in my life for like, at least 3 or 4 years. I'm longing for him, and I don't get it.
I've prayed, read the bible, gone to church, talked to pastors, gone on retreats, been a good, respectable christian kid.
I'm God-lonely. [/B]

So, honestly, I've never had a "moment" in my life where God "came to me" or "revealed himself to me". I was always just in an environment where mommy and daddy said "Jesus died for your sins" and I smiled and nodded and it was more of a fact than something I'd have faith in. I've never had even a moment of clarity with my faith, it's never been easy sailing.

it kinda seems like you've hit the point where you have to decide now for yourself, and make your belief your own. You've ridden your parents coat tails for your whole life, just being a "good, respectable christian kid." you've done everything you were expected to do. But now you are starting to feel the weight of making it your own. and you have come to the cross roads on whether you want G-d or you want you. And everyone faces this. and it's pretty normal. But let me tell you, not listening to G-d in these aspects (pre-marital sex) will keep him slightly distant from you.

Bri, you have to make the choice now on where you want to sit. It's very hard when you are surrounded by people who are just not Christians as they are supposed to be. I know you've said many times that your "christian" friends and church do things that you wouldn't expect.

Can I suggest something? Can I suggest doing a DTS with YWAM (youth with a mission)?
When I had to make the choice... i went to DTS. Discipleship training school. it's a 6 month "retreat" you could say, where for the first 3 months you learn about G-d and what makes Him G-d. and then for the next 3 months you do an outreach, where you apply what you've kinda learned and help out people. Believe me, it changed my life and opened up my eyes. They are stationed all around the world, so you can kinda just pick one and go.

If not, at least read these books.

Irresistable Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical- by Shane Claiborne
(Can I just tell you this was a crazy inspiring book, and it definitely touches upon being a christian but not feeling G-d anywhere near, and how he overcame that.)


Blue like Jazz- by Donald Miller.
"I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. . . . I used to not like God because God didn't resolve. But that was before any of this happened. In Donald Miller's early years, he was vaguely familiar with a distant God. But when he came to know Jesus Christ, he pursued the Christian life with great zeal. Within a few years he had a successful ministry that ultimately left him feeling empty, burned out, and, once again, far away from God. In this intimate, soul-searching account, Miller describes his remarkable journey back to a culturally relevant, infinitely loving God."


you should definitely read these books.


also, maybe you find it so much easier to fall into sex, because you are so much more distant from your Creator?

[SIZE="3"]"After all, our deepest longing is for love, not sex. We can live without sex, but we cannot live without love."[/SIZE] [SIZE="1"]-Jesus for President[/SIZE]
[SIZE="1"]and maybe at this point... you are searching for love from the one who infinitely loves you. [/SIZE] But this is going to require you to set down everything YOU think is right and you think is okay, and let G-d speak and tell you what his plans are for you.

and maybe you should watch this. (it's kinda corny but i think it touches on stuff.) http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=93456848990&h=bUN9N&u=4-Aq2&ref=mf

You have to dive so into G-d as if he is your last breath.

and that is the end of my uber long post. hope that helped, even a little bit.

[animechica]

This is probably going to sound really off, especially since you have a boyfriend, but I would suggest taking a form of birth control that works for you. NOT for that reason, but because birth control also effects your hormones. I used to have a horrible cycle, and I did it a lot because of it.

I started taking birth control after talking to my doctor about my cycles and I don't have that srsly strong urge anymore. Yeah, I'll still have some every now and then, but I have gone almost 2 months without doing anything or feeling anything, because it suppressed my drive.

If you think it's more related to your cycles and if you're not comfortable with masturbating, then I would highly suggest having a talk with a doctor. It's very common for girls to go on birth control just for hormones, so it's nothing to worry or be shy about. Though, I will warn you that you have to find the right brand and type of birth control to fit for you, there are different types for different people.

So if you want to try that, then I warn that you may have to do some searching for the right type for you, if not, totally understandable. Just mah two cents.

Wow, I never thought of that before!
Actually, my doctor did suggest I get on a low-dose birth control because I've had horrible cramps during my period where I was on the floor sobbing and rolling around like a maniac. (I never did... I discovered it works well to just pop a couple ibuprofen in the morning for a few days and they'll keep the cramps away for the rest of the day usually) But when I was considering it, I ultimately decided against it because I've heard that at least one form makes you fat, and another form can cause nausea and puking, which I am NOT cool with in the least.

Also, this might sound like a bad reason, but it might give me more motivation to actually have sex even though I believe it's wrong to (You know how it goes... "Well, I shouldn't, but I really want to... and heck, I'm protected anyway!"). Not to mention I don't have the best relationship with my parents and I wouldn't want to give them reason to think I'm sexually active, nor could I ever bring myself to say "It's for my libido!" XD

Birth control is a good suggestion though.
Maybe if I end up moving out before I get married I'll look into it.

[Reon]

I've still heard of people getting pregnant off the pill, yes its extremely rare and in the one percentile but... your body can be funky monkey =)

[SIZE="5"][color="DeepSkyBlue"]Q[/color][/SIZE] [font="Book Antiqua"][SIZE="4"][color="Red"]How effective are different types of birth control?[/color][/SIZE][/font]

[SIZE="5"][color="Cyan"]A[/color][/SIZE]
[color="Lime"]See a table showing the birth control failure rates of each method.

Hormonal injections (Depo-Provera), implants (Implanon), and the hormonal and copper IUDs are highly effective methods of birth control (97%, 99.8%, and 99.9% effective). That means fewer than 1 to 3 out of 100 women using these methods will become pregnant in a year.6

Birth control pills (both combination and progestin-only) have a high success rate of 92%. That means that 8 out of every 100 women taking pills become pregnant in a year. If taken carefully every day or at the same time every day, birth control pills are over 99% effective.6 The hormonal skin patch and vaginal ring are thought to be about as effective as birth control pills.

Barrier methods , including the diaphragm, cervical cap, Lea's Shield, male condom, female condom, and spermicide, are moderately successful at preventing pregnancy. The diaphragm and cervical cap are 84% effective for women who have not had a vaginal childbirth. This means that of all such women using a diaphragm or cap, 16 out of every 100 get pregnant in a year.6 Women who have delivered a baby vaginally have lower rates of success with diaphragms and cervical caps.6 These methods are more effective when they are used every time you have sex and when they are fitted correctly. Some women find it hard to plan ahead or to interrupt an intimate moment before having sex to use a barrier method.

Condoms alone or spermicides alone are also moderately successful at preventing pregnancy.

* The male condom is 85% effective.6 This means that out of 100 couples who use only male condoms for birth control each time they have sex, 15 will become pregnant in a year.
* The female condom is 79% effective.6 This means that of all couples who use only female condoms, 21 out of 100 will become pregnant in a year.
* Spermicide is 71% effective.6 This means that of all couples who use only spermicide, 29 out of 100 will become pregnant in a year.

Consider carefully whether these higher risks of pregnancy are acceptable to you. Experts recommend that you use condoms along with another method or spermicide and condoms together to increase their effectiveness.

To be effective, a barrier method must be in place every time you have sex. When possible, put a diaphragm, cervical cap, sponge, or shield in place ahead of time. If not, it's necessary to interrupt the moment and put the barrier in place. Some people successfully use a condom or other barrier method as part of their lovemaking.

Consider how comfortable you feel about using a particular method of birth control. If you are not comfortable with or might not consistently use a birth control method for any reason, that method is not likely to be reliable for you in the long run. A reality check for birth control methods can help you determine which method is right for you.[/color]

-----------------------------------------------------

I'd like you to notice it said [SIZE="6"]8 out of 100 women get pregnant on the pill a year.[/SIZE]

PERSONAL
When I decided to risk my future and take my life into my own hands having sex before marriage I used a condom + spermicide (it needs to come with the condom, adding it after weakens the condom) as well as her being on birth control (triple threat). Drastically lowering the statistics of her getting pregnant but still taking a risk and losing out blessing in my life that God had for me as well as an easier path.

You can wrap your tool, avoid pregnancy - but a condom doesn't protect you from the other consequences premarital sex has in your life which are a lot worse.

@ Rose, I just want to make it very clear - I'm sooooooo not against you in anyway. If you lived near me, I'd want to hang out with you as a friend as much as possible - you seem totally cool. The only thing is I'm also sooooo against sex before marriage. I'm not saying everything can't work out, forgiveness etc, but when your not letting God leave your life - do you think he will? You put on the yolk yourself. One sermon recently was about us "WILLINGLY" joining the army of God. In the military through basic training so many people attempt suicide and all these other methods to try to get kicked out when many of them have the right to just leave. The thing that bugs me about you having sex before marriage is I think its putting a bigger gap in between you and God. I want to encourage you, have iron sharpen iron and keep you from unnecessary hardships. We're not just taking the time to type all of responses out for you, but everyone whos going through the same thing or might go through the same thing in the future. Its a lot easier to avoid a pit, then fall into one and try to get yourself out. I pray that the responses above help you as well as others. Have you prayed to God directly about this?

[CrimsonRyu17]

But when I was considering it, I ultimately decided against it because I've heard that at least one form makes you fat, and another form can cause nausea and puking, which I am NOT cool with in the least.

Yah, these are possible side effects unfortunately, but it all depends on your body really. Some people can try one, and be perfectly fine for life, while some like me have to try a few different types to find the right one.

Not to mention I don't have the best relationship with my parents and I wouldn't want to give them reason to think I'm sexually active, nor could I ever bring myself to say "It's for my libido!" XD

That's actually totally understandable and I was kinda predicting this as it tends to be the reason why most people don't go on it. xD

[minakichan]

Sapphi, it's really cool that you're not going to rely on a crutch and take responsibility for it =)

[shooraijin]

Reon, I'm going to ask that you refrain from giving medical advice in this thread. Not only does it subject this site to liability coming from unqualified personnel (and to my knowledge I'm the only one on CAA with a current physician's license), but the figures you've given are vastly oversimplified. For relatively poorly efficacious pills such as progestin-only, like Micronor, your 92% figure is about right, but Micronor is much less frequently used for women who are not breast-feeding. The number you're not citing is that the efficacy estimates range as high as 99.7%, meaning the actual number depends greatly on what the hormonal components of the pill are and if people forget to take it, and falls somewhere within those two extremes. The key is that your reference also states, which you missed in your 8/100 summary, that the 92% is a collective rate for both combo and progestin OCPs and a worst case for medication compliance.

The other figures look approximately correct, though I suspect few people in this thread would be good IUD candidates. (For the record, I have been favourably impressed by Implanon, but I reserve overall opinion until I've seen people for a couple years on it. I do insert them in my office, though.)

I don't mind opinions in this thread, but if you're going to dispense a medical opinion even if it's citing from a source and is not your own, run it by me first.

[Nate]

In the military through basic training so many people attempt suicide and all these other methods to try to get kicked out when many of them have the right to just leave.

HA HA HA no.

You should maybe talk to people who have actually been in the military. Like oh, say, me (Navy for six years).

No, you do NOT have the right to just leave basic training. To get into the military you have to sign a contract. You are contractually obligated to give the military x years of service (x usually being 4 for first time enlistment). You cannot just walk away from a contract, it's legally binding.

The reason WHY people try suicide and other methods to get kicked out of basic training is because if the military feels you are a danger to yourself or others, it is not worth holding you to your contractual obligations. You don't want a guy who's going to try to kill himself on the battlefield with you, he could endanger the lives of others.

Even then, it's not as simple as "I'm going to try to kill myself." The military is smarter than to just let people leave like that, otherwise they'd lose too many recruits who get stressed out. It's the same with the "Don't ask don't tell" policy, you can't just say "Hey I'm gay" and get a free ticket out of the military. There's a lot of paperwork and medical examinations that go on, and if you try to use homosexuality as an excuse and you get married later on in life, you're going to be in a heap of legal trouble.

But no, you can't just walk away from basic training in the military. You don't have that right because you are under contract.

[Reon]

@ Nate, thanks for taking the time to post that information - I obviously stand corrected. That was the impression I got when I was explained a situation (from a person in the military), I must have misunderstood him. I can only guess the point that they were trying to get across, is the fact your willingly putting yourself into that situation.

@ Shooraijin, I completely understand your request and apologize if it has put CAA under any sort of risk. Feel free to edit the above post (obviously) or delete the portion quoted (in color). I'll refrain from posting anything along those lines again unless first running it by you (Its awesome to have someone here with a physicians license - I guess I know who to talk to, seriously =).)

[Lengai]

Pray for my sister, please. She and a team of Acteens Activators are currently ministering in Montana. This particular town has an extremely high unemployment rate. Most of the parents are alcoholics or addicted to other drugs, and care little about what their children do or instilling them with values.

There are lots of cases of child abuse, but the police turn a blind eye because "if you help one, you have to help them all". Lots of sexual predators live in the area as a result. Also, many of the teenage girls don't know how to dress modestly - probably because little worth has been placed on them.

My sister, Hayley, and another girl, Carlie, are doing a Bible-study for these girls tomorrow night. Before they knew the situation, however, they planned out the lesson. It's going to be on being the Bride of Christ, God's Masterpieces, and Jesus being our Prince Charming. They'll talk about purity and beauty in God's eyes. Please pray over this lesson in particular, as I think it has the potential to really speak to these girls.

This town in general needs lots of pray, too. It's a sad situation. :\

[Tsukuyomi]

I'll pray that your sister and her friend will be safe ^^

[Momo-P]

It's always awkward to mention this stuff, but since I do need the prayers...*sighs* Although God is definitely helping me, the past month or so I had a huge backslide with masturbation. I went from not doing it at all, to doing it way more frequently than anyone need be. Like I said, on the upside of things, God is assisting a lot, but...dude. Anyone who wants to pray, would totally be appreciated. Very, very, very much so. *sigh*

Secondly, I've also been having a minor issue with thoughts.

Like most girls, I definitely fantasize and daydream. Yanno, wonder what it'd be like to be around x character or be married to x character. That real irritating stuff people SHOULD keep in their head and not make a fanfiction out of. :p *sweatdrops* Unfortunately though, while I usually just think of that overly romantic cuddly-kissing-loving junk, lately other stuff has been getting in there and...ya. Pretty self explanatory again. I know the requests are pretty basic and not as big of a deal as everyone else's, but I do know the sexual stuff shouldn't be with me, so...prayers are always welcome. x_x

Thanks guys...

[edochick]

This is a topic that's been extremely hard for me to talk about. But I really am desperate and I don't have anyone else to go to about any of this.

I've been a very strong Christian all my life. I've always spoken to God, considered him a friend, a best friend. My protector, a love I could always count on. If it was just me and him for the rest of my life, I was fine. It wasn't as if I was a Christian simply because my parents were. I had made the choice myself and had a real relationship with Jesus.

Life was great. I had some struggles here and there, ridicule for what I believed, but none of it phased me. I was depressed for a year, but again, God delivered me and I came out of it even stronger.

But about two years ago, for whatever reason, I got into homosexuality. Honestly, I can't tell you a specific incident that led to it. I had no problems with it in the past, in fact I was adamantly against it. But I became very VERY codependent on this girl, and was with her for about a year and a half. I felt guilty the entire time. I knew it was wrong. But I felt so helpless. I wanted to do the right thing, I wanted to do what God wanted me to do, desperately, but I also felt as though I would lose everything, if I let go of this girl. I felt so alone. Eventually, we broke it off, mutually, because she was a Christian too, and was struggling with the same things. She knew what God wanted, but felt helpless.

So now...I mean, I've asked for forgiveness, I know the Bible says I am saved by grace through faith, and nothing I do, no sin, no matter how big can take me away from salvation. The problem is, I don't feel God's presence in my life anymore. In any aspect. I mean, my heart has been very hardened, and I've felt rebellious and bitter towards God. I've asked all the questions. "Why is it wrong?" "Why do you want to take me away from being happy?" etc. (well as happy as I was, I was also very guilty, which took away a lot of my joy - most of my joy). I try hearing him like I used to and I just don't feel or hear anything. I have all these doubts clouding my mind.

I've tried getting back into the Bible, talking to him, but it's hard to accept what you hear, or get from reading, when you have hundreds of thoughts countering everything Godly. I find myself thinking, "What if he's not even real?" "What if I've been kidding myself this whole time?" "I don't feel him, I must not be saved anymore" I'm CONSTANTLY condemning myself for turning away from him. I remember him always being there to pull me out of the muck and coming away stronger. But this time seems so much different. So much harder. It seems impossible.

I don't want to go to hell because I stop believing in Jesus. I don't really understand how I can stop being saved, but I know I'm afraid of it. It's always on my mind, 24 hours of the day. I want to feel him again. I want to know without a doubt he's my Lord. I want a relationship with him again.

But I have absolutely no idea how. And I am terrified of going to hell. It's been making me so depressed.
Please pray for me, and give me any words of wisdom you have, any scriptures. I appreciate it so much.

[shooraijin]

You have mentioned two things, one which appears to have come from the other but are actually separate issues.

I think it's worth pointing out that, with the exception of certain rabid factions, most psychologists will state that people's sexuality is usually fairly fluid through adolescence (which technically extends up to age 24). It's not at all uncommon for people to have attraction to the same sex, even if they eventually or even currently identify themselves as hetero. I think the gay community has really shot themselves in the foot by appealing to teens, who may not have their actual sexuality set in stone, and may then struggle again with it later when other factors compete. I don't know how old you are, but I suspect you fall in that valence. The fact that you had a lesbian encounter does not necessarily mean that you are, per se, lesbian, and I wouldn't call it on a strictly normalized scale anything different than if you had had a hetero sexual encounter.

That being said, the opinion of this site is that homosexuality is a sin. But like having straight sex out of wedlock, it isn't a worse sin, merely a different one. It is my personal belief that people fall into all sorts of positions on the continuum of sexual orientation -- some people are more inclined towards the same sex, some are ambivalent, and some are strongly the other way, but that people only have a stronger or weaker tendency towards one side, not that they are firmly there. That is, after all, the basis of temptation, and temptation isn't a sin. It's a matter of what you choose to do regardless of your inclination or desire.

Because of your feelings, I suspect that they have been sublimated into a rejection of God because you have them and you don't know what to do with them in the context of grace. That makes it a different phenomenon, but the same root cause. Would that be accurate, or is there more to it?

[edochick]

That's about it. I mean, in knowing it's wrong, the feelings have dramatically decreased. And I'm upset because I don't really know where I stand it my salvation.

I've been confused because, the bible says homosexuals don't enter the kingdom of heaven. But it also says that we've been washed clean by the blood. Once we ask him into our hearts, we are made right with God. I mean, every born-again christian sins. Sin in sin in the eyes of God, he covered ALL of it.

It's the thoughts that I'm not saved anymore, and that I'll never be saved are the things that are attacking me and making me very confused.