Mature prayer topics (older or mature members only, please)

[ShiroiHikari]

I'm not trying to tell you what to do or anything, but maybe you should save some money and move to a different state?

[Danderson]

There's nowhere to go to meet anyone either, like there's no "hang-out spots" or anything. Thus, the internet is really my only source of social interaction. I realize that's sad and pathetic, but really, I don't have much of a choice. If I go offline for too long I feel isolated and horribly alone.

Do you have a church that you go to (if there are any churches in your area)? I mention this mainly because that's what a church is supposed to be: a community of people united by their belief in the death and resurrection Jesus, despite their differences. Unfortunetly, this is not what you'll find in many churches anymore....But this doesn't mean they don't exist.

My church is pretty close to the description listed above: while we're still working on the "community" part, we are still united despite are backgrounds, personalities, likes, dislikes, etc....I've baisically grown up within this family of believers and I honestly can't imagine what my life would look like if my family had gone somewhere else.

I'd encourage you to find a church like this. There is no such thing as a perfect church, but there is such thing as a church that is a family and will treat anyone who enters their doors as one of their own....

[shooraijin]

I'm kind of with Shiroi on this one. It sounds like the overall situation is undesirable, and the sex issue is just the surface manifestation of a bigger problem.

[Nate]

Do you have a church that you go to (if there are any churches in your area)?

There is a church I used to go to, that I've been going to since I was like six. It's a great church, and I wish I could go back.

The problem is, my job schedule doesn't allow for me to go to church. I work second shift at my job, so the time that church happens is right in the middle of my sleep time. I know church is important, but getting more than two hours of sleep before work is a bit more important, I think.

Switching over to first shift wouldn't help either, because first shift has now started working on Sundays. So either way, I don't have the ability to go. :\

And while I love my church and the people there are really nice, and wonderful people, there isn't anyone my age, like I said. They're all kids or old people, or middle-aged married people. No one I can really share interests with. I enjoy talking to them and spending time with them but I can't connect with them any deeper than people I see on Sunday and occasionally at church-related functions.

It sounds like the overall situation is undesirable, and the sex issue is just the surface manifestation of a bigger problem.

That's probably true. I've always struggled with lust but never quite like this, it really only started about the third week of this work schedule.

But like I said, I need the money so there isn't a whole lot I can do, unless I win the lottery. Which is unlikely, because I don't play the lottery...you have a better chance of being struck by lightning than winning the lottery, so I figure I'll start buying tickets after I get struck by lightning.

[Tsukuyomi]

Is there any other job choices over there, Nate?

[animechica]

I need prayer, and I guess was wondering if other people (girls) experience this too.

I was one of those junior high girls that didn't care at all about sexual things. I hit puberty and all that, I just never really had the drive. Around sophomore or junior year though, I began to actually start having a sex drive and ever since, it's gotten steadily stronger. My boyfriend and I are really serious about saving it for marriage, but it's difficult because we are both really charged people. This summer is probably the worst yet. Summer always seems to make you feel like doing it more -_-; Recently we have experienced the wonderful (har har) phenomenon of sex pheromones.

I hope I don't come across as being explicit or anything, but I have a few days of supercharged sex drive after my period. I hear it's fairly common for women, which is why I'm looking for input. The other day was so bad, I couldn't focus on anything else. We weren't making contact - I was sitting next to my boyfriend while he was helping me set up my computer. Then I went to a church dinner which helped take my mind off it a little, but by the time I got back home, the urges were back. I ended up taking matters into my own hands and giving my body what it wanted. Afterwards, I felt so happy and relieved that I almost wondered why I try not to do it. I just liked being able to view my boyfriend as a friend and not have all these sexual thoughts trying to creep in because I was in a constant state of arousal. I also liked not having my mind clouded from that one-track state that it puts you in.

Even he mentioned that being around me was getting HIM worked up... We've noticed on more than one occasion that my pheromones tend to shift the mood, which is really frustrating when you're trying not to have sex.

I'm so confused about the whole thing. On one hand, I know if you're masturbating to relieve yourself of your sex drive and it's causing you to be more sexually "on" all the time, you're basically shooting yourself in the foot. On the other hand, I also think that it's better to quickly release my sexual energy and go have fun with my boyfriend on more of a friendship level, than to sit there and angst together on how we want to get maaaarrieeeeddd and whine about it for an hour or two while trying to glean SOME kind of satisfaction by just lying there. I don't think it's a healthy situation.

What should I doooo lol

[Nate]

On the other hand, I also think that it's better to quickly release my sexual energy and go have fun with my boyfriend on more of a friendship level

I'm not a girl (at least last time I checked I wasn't), but I have a bit of the same problem. I know masturbation isn't good because overall it promotes lust and all that, but for the couple of hours or so after I'm done where it's out of my system, it's just nice. It's nice to be able to talk to people without getting aroused, it's nice to be able to think clearer without perverted stuff entering my mind.

It's a very frustrating situation, to be sure. I'll pray for you, Sapphi, since I understand what you're going through, even if our situations are different.

Is there any other job choices over there, Nate?

Not really. In fact, the managers flaunt it at us every chance you get. "You should consider yourself lucky to have a job, you know. There aren't any other jobs out there, and there's lots of layoffs. So think about that." They say that whenever everyone is upset and angry that we're working so many hours.

[CrimsonRyu17]

I'm so confused about the whole thing. On one hand, I know if you're masturbating to relieve yourself of your sex drive and it's causing you to be more sexually "on" all the time, you're basically shooting yourself in the foot.

I dun think this is always the case though. I've never really heard of someone being "on" more after masturbating. This may be different for males, I wouldn't know. You may want to masturbate more after you do it once, but now you're just realizing how much of a sexual drive you have going on. We're pretty sexual creatures so it's no surprise.

I've always considered masturbating like a workout, you're releasing all of that sexual tension that you have no outlet for. As long as you have nothing going on in your mind (lusting after someone while doing so), which is possible believe it or not, I don't see any problem with it. In fact, it would be better for you as it does have some pretty good benefits and you don't have to be worked up all the time.

So yah, weird posting in here, but that's my 2 cents.

[shooraijin]

Let's try not to get into the morality or not of masturbation. That's going to take this thread way out of scope. Such things are a problem if people find them to be a stumbling block or something excessive regardless of 'sinful', so let's proceed from that perspective.

[ShiroiHikari]

Sapphi, it sounds like you two have been handling it well. If masturbation helps keep your mind clear, and if you are truly serious about not having sex til marriage, then I say go ahead and do it once in a while if you feel comfortable with it.

[minakichan]

It's a lot better than actually having sex.

But what's your mindset when you do it? Is your mind clear, or are you thinking or fantasizing about having sex? If you imagine having sex while masturbating, that might make your urges worse, but if you can satisfy yourself just with the body and not the mind, perhaps that's a good way of taking control.

[Lengai]

Just a quick prayer request that fits more in here than a separate topic. One of my friends has had a MAJOR emotional blow dealt to her. She's two years younger than me (about to be a junior in high school), and her now ex-boyfriend graduated with my class. Both are/were in band, so I knew them pretty well. The girl moreso, though, because my mom taught her in elementary school.

Well, he cheated on her. And then tried to cover it up. She found out and is devastated. I mean, they had been dating for over two years, I think. I think she wanted to marry him some day, and now she's been betrayed. Now, I don't know the extent of their physical relations, between one another or between him and the other girl, but she's really hurting nonetheless.

On Facebooks, her religious views are now, "I need God more than anything right now" and her About Me section is "pray for me".

So, please do.

[Tsukuyomi]

@Sapphi: I give you major props for really working towards NOT having sex after having it ^__^ Keep it up and it'll get easier

I'll be praying for you

@Lengai: Tell her to hang in there Relationships can be very difficult. I'll pray that she's able to get over him and move on It'll be hard, but it is possible ^__^

[Reon]

I dun think this is always the case though. I've never really heard of someone being "on" more after masturbating.

I would strongly disagree. From my own personal experiences amongst other guy friends around me, the more you have sex, the more you want to have sex. Having sex more, makes every experience more enjoyable and the desire to have sex goes way up. I can't say the same things certain for masturbation, but I haven't masturbated in a long time. It seems like the less you do, the less you want to.

A physical trainer once told me (the way he illustrated it), your muscles will bulk up when they think you need it (aka: your body responds to your workout). I think your body responds to the more you masturbate, especially when it thinks your getting "sexually active". Puberty's natural and hormones are going to come none the less and you'll have to find a way to deal with them.

I just think you need to remember everytime you don't masturbate - it'll make it a little easier the next time not to. (And trust me, I know how easy it is to slip up - its something I've practiced not doing for awhile).

@ Nate - I'll seriously be contemplating and praying for your situation. I don't really know what else to say but I know how it can relieve stress. Hopefully you'll be able to find another way. Sincerely, Reon.

[xblack_x_rosesx]

Man, there seems to be a lot of struggling with this kind of stuff...

=\

Praying for everyone.

[animewarrior]

I need prayer, and I guess was wondering if other people (girls) experience this too.

I was one of those junior high girls that didn't care at all about sexual things. I hit puberty and all that, I just never really had the drive. Around sophomore or junior year though, I began to actually start having a sex drive and ever since, it's gotten steadily stronger.

.... all I can say is that I can relate *coughs* and I'll be praying
As for myself I'd like prayer regarding the whole "M-ing and lusting area" ....
*sigh* lol I can't believe I'm admitting this here but well lol everyone has their problems...

[ShiroiHikari]

I would strongly disagree. From my own personal experiences amongst other guy friends around me, the more you have sex, the more you want to have sex. Having sex more, makes every experience more enjoyable and the desire to have sex goes way up. I can't say the same things certain for masturbation, but I haven't masturbated in a long time. It seems like the less you do, the less you want to.

I think it's probably different for everybody.

[CrimsonRyu17]

I would strongly disagree. From my own personal experiences amongst other guy friends around me, the more you have sex, the more you want to have sex. Having sex more, makes every experience more enjoyable and the desire to have sex goes way up. I can't say the same things certain for masturbation, but I haven't masturbated in a long time. It seems like the less you do, the less you want to.

I have never experienced this personally nor have I heard so from any of my friends. Also, I would not consider sex equivalent to masturbating. If anything I think it equivalent to, it would be picking or blowing your nose (as long as you're not fantasizing). Maybe it's different for guys or something, I wouldn't know, like I said. I'm not a dude.

[minakichan]

I have never experienced this personally nor have I heard so from any of my friends. Also, I would not consider sex equivalent to masturbating. If anything I think it equivalent to, it would be picking or blowing your nose (as long as you're not fantasizing). Maybe it's different for guys or something, I wouldn't know, like I said. I'm not a dude.

As another girl, I have to agree. It's said that guys are a lot more visual than girls and supposedly (this is the stereotype, so correct me if I'm wrong), most guys actually fantasize about sexual things when they masturbate. It's not always the same for girls.

I've masturbated while doing my calculus homework, while checking my email, and, more often than not, just lying in bed trying to go to sleep. I don't associate ANY of these things with sex (well, maybe the calculus XD; MMMM PARTIAL DIFFERENTIATION). I don't think any of these are going to make me want to jump a guy or anything =/

[animewarrior]

I guess it'll be different for everybody... to be frank even a guy barechested is a turn on to some girls. heh including me. My problem is more the morality side of things...

[animechica]

@Sapphi: I give you major props for really working towards NOT having sex after having it ^__^ Keep it up and it'll get easier

Oh, I must've worded something weird, but both me and my boyfriend are virgins. We haven't done anything like that yet, lol.

Thanks everyone for your kind and honest opinions >w<
My issue is that because of my cycle, even when I haven't been masturbating, I will still have strong urges. Likewise, there are some days of my cycle when it's pretty much impossible to. So I definitely understand the concept of "Do it more, and you'll want it more" but I've always seen that as more of a guy thing since from what I've read and heard, guys don't really have cycles, they have a steady drive, whereas girls have set times they'll be more easily aroused than others. But to assume that it's okay for me and not okay for my guy friends doesn't seem right or fair...

It's also troubling because my boyfriend and I have struggled to get him out of a porn addiction and, praise God, he's made it this far to where he doesn't willingly look at bad things. But he still masturbates when he feels like he has to (when there's pain that won't go away... for some reason his body doesn't work right because he's been getting more pain since he stopped looking at bad things...) and he really doesn't even want to do THAT, so I feel like when I do, I'm discouraging his efforts.

But like I said, it almost seems better that way.... I dunno.
I am pretty good about not fantasizing while doing it, though.
I fantasize way more when I'm trying not to masturbate because sex is all my mind wants to think about. =/

[Themanofchrist]

Oh, I must've worded something weird, but both me and my boyfriend are virgins. We haven't done anything like that yet, lol.

Thanks everyone for your kind and honest opinions >w<
My issue is that because of my cycle, even when I haven't been masturbating, I will still have strong urges. Likewise, there are some days of my cycle when it's pretty much impossible to. So I definitely understand the concept of "Do it more, and you'll want it more" but I've always seen that as more of a guy thing since from what I've read and heard, guys don't really have cycles, they have a steady drive, whereas girls have set times they'll be more easily aroused than others. But to assume that it's okay for me and not okay for my guy friends doesn't seem right or fair...

It's also troubling because my boyfriend and I have struggled to get him out of a porn addiction and, praise God, he's made it this far to where he doesn't willingly look at bad things. But he still masturbates when he feels like he has to (when there's pain that won't go away... for some reason his body doesn't work right because he's been getting more pain since he stopped looking at bad things...) and he really doesn't even want to do THAT, so I feel like when I do, I'm discouraging his efforts.

But like I said, it almost seems better that way.... I dunno.
I am pretty good about not fantasizing while doing it, though.
I fantasize way more when I'm trying not to masturbate because sex is all my mind wants to think about. =/

I'll pray for you

[Dr.Faust]

Ok... lets see. Sexual uredgs are hard to reset but you must... hum I say that like its easy. For som people its easyer to reseat than others...for me its easy I guss I was never relly in to it( at least not yet stll a teen). At times though fleash tries to take over and that's when you need to lesten to those voices in you head(and by voices I mean Christ) that tell you to reseast. To be honset with you I can't stand sexual content in the meida its makes it even harder to sreset sexual earges...and now that its summer Satien is trying to pump sex in to you mind even more. Now to get down to the whole masterbating thing. While I've never done it two of my friends use to and they said that while it fells good its bad for your mind. Hear are some tips to resets the earges

1. Lesten to music that dosent have sexual conten in it. Here are some groups

Akeboshi, The pillows, Creed, Common, Nightmar, TobyMc,RED, Skillet, The Police,ect


2. Garden

3. Go look up some thing ramdom. Example: The hystory of the lime

You get the pictcher just do some thing stupid to get you ming off sex.

Also I want to become a surgen so I have to take biologe and we have to lern elvotion I was hopeing some of you could give me some scriptiors tha can help me keep my fath I alrady lost it once and iI do not want to lose it agen(please do not get in an elovation/ cration debate as it is agusent CAA roules. Also some spilling aid sofewair might help do you know where I could find any. Oh forgot to add I'll pray

[shooraijin]

I think it's probably different for everybody.

Quite so.

Also, Dr Faust, your evolution question is way off topic for this thread. If you're requesting help with that, I strongly suggest people take that to PM.

[Reon]

I have a friend whos non christian who for some reason thinks its best not to masturbate. He thinks of turtles and cheese... hes one of the smartest guys I know and his dad's a nuclear scientist while his moms in stocks - yet those are the least sexual items he can think of. They don't work for me though =/

I totally got the urge to masturbate after I set up this computer while my laptops down, it lasted a total of 5 seconds. Its the same situation I've been in MULTIPLE times in the past, usually resisting and then giving in the fifth time a different day etc. Only now I've gotten so used to resisting the urge, it goes away fairly quickly. I'm a strong believer that God gives us what we ask for (within limitations). I've worked off my butt to not masturbate. Could I slip in the future? OF COURSE - I hope I don't and I'll continue to do things to further strengthen not doing it.

A little random, but I've noticed everytime I say "Oh I'd never do that", I end up doing something similar or the exact same thing. Now my prayers "God deliver me from evil" - Not just take it away from me, but also build me up so when it does come my way I have him to lean on and the discernment/wisdom to deal with it.

[CrimsonRyu17]

My issue is that because of my cycle, even when I haven't been masturbating, I will still have strong urges. Likewise, there are some days of my cycle when it's pretty much impossible to.

This is probably going to sound really off, especially since you have a boyfriend, but I would suggest taking a form of birth control that works for you. NOT for that reason, but because birth control also effects your hormones. I used to have a horrible cycle, and I did it a lot because of it.

I started taking birth control after talking to my doctor about my cycles and I don't have that srsly strong urge anymore. Yeah, I'll still have some every now and then, but I have gone almost 2 months without doing anything or feeling anything, because it suppressed my drive.

If you think it's more related to your cycles and if you're not comfortable with masturbating, then I would highly suggest having a talk with a doctor. It's very common for girls to go on birth control just for hormones, so it's nothing to worry or be shy about. Though, I will warn you that you have to find the right brand and type of birth control to fit for you, there are different types for different people.

So if you want to try that, then I warn that you may have to do some searching for the right type for you, if not, totally understandable. Just mah two cents.

[xblack_x_rosesx]

...
So, just a quick question here.

I realize now that I am in no way able to give up sex. It's just become something that happens, and it's always very special, and I don't feel wrong or dirty about it in any way. I see nothing wrong with what I'm doing.
I've been trying really hard to stop having sex, but I can't.
And I don't really have a problem with that.

I think my problem is this:
will I be forgiven if I continue doing this?

I mean, it's one little thing... it's not like I'm murdering someone or something. I'm sharing my body with someone I've been with for 2 years- my best friend for many more than that, someone I hold very close and dear and love. But will I go to hell for this?

Because I'm almost convinced I can't stop. I have no desire to. Not because I like sex. I mean, it's nice and stuff, but the connection is strong, it doesn't feel wrong, and it feels uncomfortable just up and stopping. Because what we're doing ISN'T dirty. It's our connection. So I don't see how it could be healthy to stop.

Anyway.
My question is: because of this one little thing, will I not be forgiven?

[Dr.Faust]

Yes you will be forgiven.

[Cap'n Nick]

You two seem pretty close. Why not marry him? You're already married emotionally, and making it official would remove both the stigma and the sin.

Really, though, there's a lot more than forgiveness at work here. Just because God won't toast us eternally for every bad thing we do doesn't mean we should delight in doing them.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

blackroses, of course Christ will forgive you but what you're doing (if you continue to do it) is cheapening God's grace and that's not cool.
I think you may need to cut your ties with your boyfriend.