Mature prayer topics (older or mature members only, please)

[xblack_x_rosesx]

then (I'm sorry to say this) he was clearly only in the relationship for one thing u_u

I hate when people say this lol. I mean, we dated for two years, and he wanted to wait till marriage, and it was definetely me that made the choice to have intercourse.

Anyway.
Back to what I was saying...
oh, right!

We are "seperating" in september. I'm going off to University three hours from where we both live now. And hes an apprenticing electrician right now, so he has to stay here with his boss for the next couple years. So, we def. won't be seeing as much of each other... I think that's a lot of the reason why I'm "milking" it, so to speak...

I don't know.
I'm confused.

I HATE telling you guys this too. Cos I feel like I should be mature and stuff already. But I'm not getting anywhere. Kinda a failure. And you guys... aren't. Frig.

[Tsukuyomi]

Yeah, I know, but it's true XDD

You don't want to force the separation. You have to want to do it at your own accord ^^ If you weren't going away to school, would you be separating?

[xblack_x_rosesx]

No, I wouldn't be seperating from him. Because everything is so friggen peachy keen. He treats me like, INCREDIBLY well. He's smart, and kind, and has been my best friend for YEARS before we even started dating, he respects me and tries harder then I do to be open to christianity, he's got money (he's very stable), my parents adore him, most people I know are jeleous. I'm in the epitome of a good, stable relationship.

I think it would just be stupid to end something like this.
Like, why on earth would I sabotage that?

I know seperation brings people closer together, but I think more of a "forced" seperation would do that better then one done out of my own choice.

ADSJHDSJH

I'm really sorry everyone.
I really don't wanna make a thing out of this, I just needed to rant.
So that hopefully I can get it in my head that I need to be a little more serious. Or something.

[Tsukuyomi]

I'm happy you're in a great relationship ^^ I'm (along with others who have commented) not saying to break up, just separate so there's no temptation.

If you truly have no remorse about what you are dong and everything is peachy keen, then you shouldn't have the need to rant.

(Help and advice is always here for you, so please don't take this the wrong way. If you truly wanted to merely rant and not want to hear anything that we had/have to say, then maybe a livejournal or other blog is right for this type of thing ^^)

[Peanut]

Rose...frankly from the posts I've read from you on your problem. I don't think you will be able to stop unless you choose separation.

Your "separation," is you going away to college. But this will last how long, a year at most (I'm guessing both of you will be seeing each other during your collegiate years at some point)? At that point what's going to stop you from going back to what you were doing before? I'm going to make a prediction that probably around the middle of your first semester, your going to miss not having any physical contact with your boyfriend (and I'm not just refering to sex here, I'm saying things like hugs...you are going to miss them...and it's completely normal, even if you weren't having sex you'd probably still miss it). So, I'm willing to bet that this will throw fuel on the fire and that when you come back in contact, you'll start right back up. Except then, instead of saying you are doing it to "milk it," you'll be saying that you are now doing it because you were starving. I could be wrong, in fact I hope I'm wrong, but I get the feeling that you will, deep in your heart, agree that I am most likely right about this.

You seem to be going through a period of time where ideas of yours are in conflict. This is natural for folks our age. Everyone of my friends, myself included, will, upon self reflection, tell you that they are rebelling either against their parents, various ideas in their youth or both. It's just a matter of degree with us. With this in mind, it seems to me that you need to make a decision. Simplifying it, this decision seems to be either to fight or to roll over and die (with varying degrees for both choices obviously...). If you decide to give up and continue having sex with your boyfriend. Then fine, that's your choice none of us will judge you for it. But if you choose to fight, let me encourage you to go all out.

You've said you are in a great relationship, then why are you worried about more seperation then just going away to college? What would be wrong with taking a break (as in, a temporary break up with your boyfriend and an avoidance of any other romantic relationships) and then trying to resume the relationship at a later date (like a year or two later). If everything you've said about this relationship is true then if you told him that you really wanted to stop and you think this would do it then I think he would understand. And again, if everythings as you've said it is I doubt he would cheat on you either. So the only thing you seem to have to worry about is if both or one of you change so much that you grow apart and a romantic relationship just wouldn't work. But if that's the case then it probably would have happened even if you were still in a relationship and maybe if you broke up in good terms before then your relationship would be better then if you stayed togethere and broke up at a later date because of this.

Again, I just don't think you will stop having sex with him if you keep doing what you have been doing. And on the off chance that something happens, things fall through and you don't get married (as unlikely as that may seem) then what, you've already said you think you would be ok with one night stands. So you'll still have a problem...

Anyway, those are my thoughts. I apologize if they come across as being too harsh or mean or something like that, I didn't intend to offend you or to tell you what you should do. Your clearly struggling with this and you seem pretty frustrated, so let me take this time to tell you to be strong and mention that I will be in prayer for this.

[animechica]

EVERYONE tells me that using your head when it comes to religion is wrong. The second you start analysing things, and questioning things, and thinking about things is when you start losing faith. You should follow your heart, and your faith, and your conscious, and God.
But I'm like the opposite. I KNOW all this stuff I'm doing is wrong. I KNOW what I have to do, and I KNOW how to instigate it. But like, the rest of me just takes over and wants to p--- someone, I don't even know WHO, off.

I don't know what that's all about.
Around here, my fellow Christians give the advice, "Don't trust your heart because your heart is sinful." And I think someone once said that your conscience is basically what you train it to be. If you trust in God and sincerely want to obey his commandments, your conscience is going to reflect that. You'll feel guilty when you think you aren't doing the right thing. But people can feel guilty even if they're not, and conversely they can feel like they're doing what's right even if their actions are totally wrong by God's standards. This is why we have, for example, radical Islamic terrorists. Someone has drilled it into them that it is "good" to kill the perceived "enemy". I highly doubt they would sacrifice their lives unless they truly believed they were doing the right thing. In their heart, they "know" it's right. That's why it is SO dangerous to fully trust your conscience, "heart", whatever.

I'd like to also say something because it applies to me and my experiences. I am going through a lot of doubts recently about my faith. Now, honestly, I don't fully believe they are valid doubts because they are so varied. One day, it's "Does God really exist?" and the next, it's "God exists, but what if I'm not really a Christian and I only think I am and I'm going to Hell?" It's like my brain invents every possible bad alternative to the one I've been promised in the Bible. But you know, whenever I "feel" doubtful, it doesn't change what's true. Human feelings can be a roller coaster of confusion, ESPECIALLY if you're a girl, lol. You basically HAVE to use your "head" as opposed to "heart", or your faith will begin to change day by day...

I don't know if what I wrote up there made any sense. It's 3:30 AM and I'm getting tired, but I guess if I could make an analogy, have you ever heard what people say about love? "Love is not a feeling, it's a choice." I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. It's staying with someone even though they sometimes make you cry or make you angry. It's staying with someone even when you don't "feel" in love with them. I think the way we should handle our faith is somewhat the same. On the surface, it appears that things like "faith" and "love" are matters of the heart alone, but I think it's more than that. It requires discipline and conscious choices.

But I'm like the opposite. I KNOW all this stuff I'm doing is wrong. I KNOW what I have to do, and I KNOW how to instigate it. But like, the rest of me just takes over and wants to p--- someone, I don't even know WHO, off.

I've experienced the same thing when I'm doing something of sexual nature that is questionable or just... probably not the right thing to do. It's that rebellious feeling like "You know what, I just don't care anymore, I'm going to have at it!" and it always seems great while I'm in the moment, but afterward, I feel ashamed that I gave in. I guess all I can really say is that I've been there and I don't really know how to stop it, other than to try and fight it on a day-to-day basis.

I'm sorry to hear you're still struggling with all this. *hugs*

[minakichan]

Can I be really, really frank?

xblack_x_rosesx, in all likelihood you are probably going to end up breaking up with him eventually, it's a matter of time. The vast majority of dating relationships don't result in marriage, and most marriages end anyway (and many of the ones that last are still miserable). It's probably not quite fair of me to assume that you'll end it, but it's not fair to yourself to think that you'll be one of the lucky few who can actually have a happy, positive romantic relationship.

The problem with this is, are you comfortable possibly leaving this relationship or going into a new one having had sex with another man? A lot of girls don't regret losing their virginities until AFTER that relationship is over. Is it turning you into someone you're not? Allowing yourself to make allowances can lead to a slippery slope, and "having sex" isn't even quite yet the bottom of the slope.

I'm having an issue kind of like this, and thankfully I'm kind of separated from the other person, so we're avoiding a lot of temptation. But separation isn't going to cure it either, so... constant vigilance, I guess.

[chibiphonebooth]

ugghhh i just wrote this huugeee thing and my internet died. ;lfdka;dk i'll write it when i come back.

[Destroyer2000]

A mature prayer thread sounds like a very good idea. I've been fighting a battle with lust lately - a hard one, though I suppose any battle in that area isn't easy. For the most part, I've avoided pornography, but I've failed there, as well. I recently receieved a Voyager cell phone, with video capability. I discovered that there were videos on there that were not porn, but were of attractive women in bathing suits, and the like. I believe I've watched every video avaliable.
Thing is, I need to stop. It's' not suitable for a Christian man to give into these things, but the struggle can be so hard. I've been weak in my faith lately, so I give in more easily. Tonight things came to a head, and my thoughtlessness shone through. My mother received the phone bill, and is at this moment extremely angry with me. I don't blame her. This will help me to stop looking at those, but I will still need the prayer and assistance of my fellow Christians. I feel as if I have no integrity left. Looking and seeing things like that is not who I am. That's not who I want to be.
I ask that you all pray for me, and any advice you offer will be welcomed. Also, there is another thing. I have a girlfriend, and anytime I fail and look at something such as that, I feel as if I've betrayed her. She doesn't know about this struggle; I fear for our relationship if she were to find out.

[Tsukuyomi]

Are you still have possession of the phone? This won't solve everything, but not having the phone will block access to the videos ^^

I'll be praying

[Destroyer2000]

Thank you. Yes, I still have the phone...I honestly can't make do without it. Between calls from the college and other things, I need my cell phone. However, I did ask my mother to remove the capability from our package.

[Tsukuyomi]

Thank you. Yes, I still have the phone...I honestly can't make do without it. Between calls from the college and other things, I need my cell phone. However, I did ask my mother to remove the capability from our package.

That's good

Asdfjkl, my typos are terrible at 1:00am and beyond >_>;

[Reon]

ugghhh i just wrote this huugeee thing and my internet died. ]I feel your pain. This has happened to me on multiple websites/programs =/ I've been WAY better at saving or copying anything before I push post if its valuable and took me 30+

then why are you worried about more seperation then just going away to college?

Skype had just come out with these new chat rooms. I hadn't really given my life over to God at that point and I saw one of them was a Christian discussion - I went in expecting people to be fighting each others opinions etc. It ended up being the room owner (supposedly a pastor) who would preach for about 5 minutes, then allow one person talking privileges to ask him a question. What I noticed in between him preaching and helping people was that he stuck to the Bible as much as possible, he knew God's word but more than that seemed to keep his opinion as far away from anything he said. I was in the room pry for about an hour a two and he had helped quite a few people, a gay guy, girls, guys etc - all who seemed to walked away with some great and solid advice. So I said what the heck and I put in my request to talk. When he got to me I said something like this "My girlfriend and I have been dating for two years and we're both getting worried about us both going off to college." I continued to explain my situation expecting that when I'd finish he'd give me some great response as he did the others that would at least take around ten minutes. Well I finished and after all I had said he only said this to me "Ryan there's only going to be one person who's always going to be there for you." I knew he meant God and I knew right off the back he was right, but that wasn't what I wanted to hear. I was comfortable living in my sin and I wanted to stay in it. Basically, I was happy right where I was dating her and hes hinting to me that God's the answer aka: Well you're problem will be fixed when you go to God. Sure enough we ended up breaking up before college (THANK GOD - Not that it wasn't a good relationship, but I was living a life no where near as good as the path God has me on with no numbness, fakeness, etc). That simple phrase he's told me still comes up into my head "There's only going to be one person that's always going to be there for you." Now I further understand while I should always keep God first, in my marriage, in everything. Anything you love more than God is an idol.

I feel as if I have no integrity left. Looking and seeing things like that is not who I am. That's not who I want to be. ... and any advice you offer will be welcomed. ... I fear for our relationship if she were to find out.

I was dealing with something similar, this passage has convicted me (conviction is meant to be good and help grow in God as far as I'm concerned). It's in Ron Mehl's "After Words" - a pastor who had terminal cancer, his last words put in a book for his sons.

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[SIZE="2"][font="System"]AFTER WORDS
Ron Mehl
Page 77-81[/font][/SIZE]

[font="Times New Roman"][SIZE="5"]Integrity[/SIZE][/font]
[font="Century Gothic"][SIZE="2"]Because I love your commands more than gold,
more than pure gold, and because I consider
all your precepts right, I hate every wrong path.[/SIZE][/font]
[font="Courier New"][SIZE="1"]PSALM 119:127-128, NIV[/SIZE][/font]

Sometimes it's hard to sell people on the value of integrity. From all outward appearances, it doesn't "pay" to be honest.
There were certainly times in the life of Joseph when he must have been tempted to say, "What good has it done to me to walk the straight path?" (See Genesis 39-41.). Here was a young man who remained committed to integrity no matter what the cost. Sold into slavery by his own brothers, he was eventually falsely accused and thrown into a dungeon before finally being vindicated by the Lord.
Joseph could certainly have prayed the prayer of David, uttered centuries later: "You have preserved my life because I am innocent]He was running from anything that would abort God's purposes in his life.[/I]
Do you remember what he told that adulteress (probably again and again)?

"How then could I do such a wicked thing
and sin against God?" (Genesis 39:9, NIV)

He chose God's way. He chose to see God's purpose fulfilled in his life rather than fulfilling a passing fleshly fancy. He feared losing the sense of God's presence and the touch of God's blessing upon his life. That's why he didn't walk or stroll away from that woman; he RAN. God-given discretion preserved his life (Proverbs 2:11).
Son, you know how I have earnestly desired God's blessing on my ministry in our church through the years. You know how I have feared doing anything or saying anything that might jeopardize that blessing. What a terrible thing it would be to lose the hand of God's favor on my family, the church, or my life because of some foolish, ill-considered action or decision. I pray such a thing will never happen to me...or to you.
Integrity says that what I am in public, I also am in private. Integrity is what you do when you're alone, with no one's eye upon you but the Lord's. Satan, the adversary, is looking for a foothold in every one of our lives. He's looking for those places where our public lives do not match our private lives - leaving an integrity gap. It is in such "gaps" that he finds a handhold or a toehold, gaining access to our lives. Like a skilled climber, Stan doesn't need much of a foothold to advance. Anything that isn't surrendered or submitted to God becomes a handhold or foothold for the enemy.

If you choose to live a life of integrity like Joseph, everything in your life must be filtered through the grid of God's approval. (Growth in holiness means that "grid" becomes finer and finer through the years, gradually filtering out things we once participated in and approved of).
That filter works another way, too. You will realize that nothing touches your life apart from God's knowledge and approval. Everything that comes into your experience is filtered through God's fingers of love. What a wonderful assurance! And I know that if God allows something to touch my life, He will also give me the grace and strength to deal with it.
It is a fact, Son, that the most crucial decisions of your life will be made when you are all alone. Decisions of integrity are made by young people who find themselves alone in a room and choose to turn off the TV when a questionable movie or program comes on. They're made by people who won't compromise their beliefs or personal standards to 'get ahead.'
The most significant choices you make in life won't be made in the middle of a crowd, with lots of people standing around. They will be made in the private times when only God sees what your doing.
When you live a life of integrity, you will know the favor of God. When Joseph was in slavery, Scripture tells us, "The Lord was with Joseph and blessed him greatly as he served in the home of his Egyptian master" (Genesis 39:2, NLT). When Joseph was falsely accused and imprisoned in the Pharaoh's dungeon, we read: "But the Lord was with Joseph there, too, and he granted Joseph favor with the chief jailer" (Genesis 39:21, NLT).
God was with Joseph when he was prosperous, sailing along with favorable winds on a calm sea. But God was also with Joseph in the storm - in the midst of great trouble, turmoil, and trial. In either situation, when God is with you, you never have to worry. If you're a person of integrity, it doesn't matter where you are or what the circumstances of your life might be. You can have the inner confidence that the Lord is with you, and will see you through.
This is what I want for my sons, for my grandchildren, and for you.

[font="Trebuchet MS"]Lord, make us choose the harder right,
rather than the easier wrong.
And to never be contented with half-truths,
when whole truths can be won.
Endow us with courage that is born of
loyalty to all that is noble and worthy,
that scorns to compromise with vice and injustice,
and knows no fear when right and
truth are in jeopardy. Amen.[/font]
[SIZE="1"][font="Courier New"]THE CADET'S PRAYER,
WEST POINT MILITARY ACADEMY[/font][/SIZE]
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Wisdom is also talked about in Ron Mehl's book, which has been one of my favorite qualities in a long time - so incredibly valuable. Proverbs 1 and 4 are great reads on wisdom. I love Proverbs 1:26 - shows me something I see so valuable laughing at me if I don't heed it (aka: ignoring wisdom's advice & rebuke).

[minakichan]

So, I broke up with my "boyfriend."

I think I'm just not the type of person to have relationships. Someone told me that other people will never love you if you don't love yourself, so I wouldn't be able to pull it off anyway =/

I feel like an idiot for falling to these weak human emotions. I don't ever want to feel that vulnerable again, so I'm going to control myself. *sigh*

[shooraijin]

I think it was for the best, but you do realize that

Someone told me that other people will never love you if you don't love yourself,

is kind of a loaded statement.

[minakichan]

is kind of a loaded statement.

What do you mean by that?

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Out of curiousity, Minaki, how much self-worth do you have in yourself?

[Tsukuyomi]

I LOVE YOU MINA ♥

Don't let him make you feel this way >_> This was all him, not you D:<

[Makachop^^128]

Hi
I just found out some really gross things that happened to me when I was little.
I've been having trust issues now and wont let people touch me, and when people complaint my looks I feel like crying cause I feel like I don't deserve it.
Please pray that I will trust people more and get over stuff from the past.

[Tsukuyomi]

Hi
I just found out some really gross things that happened to me when I was little.
I've been having trust issues now and wont let people touch me, and when people complaint my looks I feel like crying cause I feel like I don't deserve it.
Please pray that I will trust people more and get over stuff from the past.

That.. can't be easy o___o

I'll be praying Take your time and don't rush things Take things one step at a time Remember that God is with you every step of the way ^^

[Themanofchrist]

Its been a long time since I have been here

......But it is mostly due to games or Internet porn.......It is literally destorying me inside

[Tsukuyomi]

I'll be praying that you're able to get passed this problem Just hang in there. It is possible to stop ^^

[Peanut]

Its been a long time since I have been here

......But it is mostly due to games or Internet porn.......It is literally destorying me inside

Well then, I would say that you now have a very good reason to be here constantly.

Keep fighting and don't give up, you'll win in the end. I'll be in prayer.

[Makachop^^128]

That.. can't be easy o___o

I'll be praying Take your time and don't rush things Take things one step at a time Remember that God is with you every step of the way ^^

thanks ^^

[Themanofchrist]

Thanks you guys it really helps ^^

[shooraijin]

What do you mean by that?

What I mean is that expressing a lack of self-worth is sort of a statement with nowhere to go; it's loaded in that all it can really do is elicit sympathy, while giving people no additional insight into fixing their problem.

I realize that was kind of a brutal thing to say, but it doesn't mean much to say that you're wrestling with self-worth issues without a thorough explanation about why you believe yourself to have them.

[Reon]

So, I broke up with my "boyfriend."

I think I'm just not the type of person to have relationships. Someone told me that other people will never love you if you don't love yourself, so I wouldn't be able to pull it off anyway =/

I feel like an idiot for falling to these weak human emotions. I don't ever want to feel that vulnerable again, so I'm going to control myself. *sigh*

Hey Mina =) It happens - You have to realize though the Bible says "DELIVER US FROM EVIL (Lord)". Here's a post from our new Facebook group where were studying 2 Peter 1:5-11, 7 posts on Goodness (1 per day for a week), next topic. Here's a very close friend's post

"The moon reflects light, but the Son gives light.

In 2 Peter 1:9 it tells us that as we reflect off these attributes we will gain a better understanding of being forgiven of our sins. I can say from personal experience this meditation on goodness has realigned my understanding of how blessed I am to have the forgiveness and redemptive power of God through Jesus Christ.

As I stared into Heaven last night, the Lord reminded me of how not good I am. He showed me that He is the only one who is Good. Jesus mentioned in Matthew 19:17 “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God.â€

[minakichan]

What I mean is that expressing a lack of self-worth is sort of a statement with nowhere to go; it's loaded in that all it can really do is elicit sympathy, while giving people no additional insight into fixing their problem.

I realize that was kind of a brutal thing to say, but it doesn't mean much to say that you're wrestling with self-worth issues without a thorough explanation about why you believe yourself to have them.

If you mean to suggest I was asking for sympathy, no, I'm not. I feel that it's one thing to whine "I'm all alone, and no one loves me;" it's another to accept that one has an attitude or personality problem and realize that it's a stumbling block.

[shooraijin]

That's fair. Anyway, though, I'm glad you made a sound decision in cutting it off.

[Nate]

Meh, okay, I'm gonna let something out here.

The reason why I asked a while ago if there was any way to reduce sex drive is this. Lately, my job has been extremely stressful. Extremely. We're working 12 hour days ever day, and we're even scheduled to work this Friday (I'm skipping out on work though, they already told me I'd get written up, but I don't care, family and rest are more important than some stupid store in Nowhere Alabama getting pushpins). Lately I've been stressed, exhausted, frustrated, and generally in a bad mood. This has been true for about three weeks, we've been working this schedule for over a month.

You may ask, what this has to do with why I want to decrease sex drive. Well, that's easy. I'm always stressed and frustrated. What's a great way to relieve stress? Well, masturbation, of course.

But that's the problem. I'm WAY too stressed because of my job. So I'm doing it a lot more than I normally do. Like two, three times a day. Especially on weekends. And, due to my low self-esteem and my desire for companionship, I crave interaction. This has led me to become really interested in sexual roleplaying. Y'know, like the RP forum on CAA. Except about sex. It's just text, there's no pictures or anything, but I have a vivid imagination.

The problems are this. One, I can't really quit my job. I need the money. If I get fired, fine, I'll collect unemployment for a while and go back to college. I'm not trying to get fired, mind you, I just don't care if I do (which is why I don't care that I'm getting written up for blowing off work Friday). My job is the major source of stress, though, and I feel like as long as this job keeps breaking my spirit, I'm gonna have this problem. I'd also like to state that my job is physically demanding. I'm lifting 20-40 pound boxes for 12 hours a night, coupled with walking almost continuously the entire time. This means I can't exercise my stress away, because my job saps my physical strength.

Two, I can't really go offline, not for very long anyway. I have no real life friends, because this isn't a college town. When people graduate high school here, they either move away, or they're preparing to take over a family business or something. What this means is there are very few people my age here, so I can't relate to anyone. There's nowhere to go to meet anyone either, like there's no "hang-out spots" or anything. Thus, the internet is really my only source of social interaction. I realize that's sad and pathetic, but really, I don't have much of a choice. If I go offline for too long I feel isolated and horribly alone. That, coupled with the stress from my job, and I would fear for my own personal safety.

This is why I want so desperately to find a way to reduce or get rid of my sexual desire. Maybe if I just literally am unable to get aroused, I can break myself of this. And I mean it's not like I need my sex drive for anything. It's like my appendix. It serves no useful purpose, so why not get rid of it if it's a problem?

Anyway, I don't really know if anyone can help. I just wanted to put that out there. I'm tired now. I'm going to sleep.