The Flea: A Rhyme in Nonsense

[bigsleepj]

Not very good, but amusing.

The Flea: A Rhyme in Nonsense

General Walter Sobshack-McGraw
saw himself as a man with no flaw.
His ego was so immence and large
that he could easily fill a small barge.

While sitting and drinking his tea
He spotted on the wall a small flea.
He held the superstition rather odd
that fleas only sit on the wall of a sod;
and only on the wall of betrayers and liars
so he set out to catch it with some pliers.

"To touch it would turns me into a liar
so I dare not touch it without the pliers!"
His head was filled with so much rubble
that it could only spell trouble.

The flea on the wall was well above the earth
to the right of the tradition old hearth
that addorned his office wall
and was lighted that morning on his call.

He dashed for the flea with the pliar
and accidentally fell into the fire.
Burning and screaming he rolled on the ground
and found the flee still hanging around.

Luckily only his suit had taken flame
yet his temper remained the same.
He looked up angry from the floor
As the flea doth quoth "Nevermore."

"Have you come to torment me
you horrible omen of a flea?"
he asked as he stared at the pest
"With me you should not have messed."

The flea looked at him from the wall
clinging to it without a fear of fall
stared at the man with an arm burn'd sore
and said once again "Nevermore."

"Fleas should not speak, you dummy flea
it's unnatural and obnoxious, you see.
If I kill you and I don't mean to offend
as an abomination you shall end."

The flea jumped away from its perch
and landed on one of his folded shirts
from which it jumped onto a bust
of that old romantic, Old Lord Rust.

"General Walter Sobshack-McGraw,"
the flea said without much awe,
"nevermore shall you be
mean to me or any flea."

"I have my right to stomp you into the ground
or flatten you and bury you in a mound,"
General Walter said and with that
he picked up his old cricket bat."

He swung his bat at Old Lord Rust
and destroyed the fragile old bust
but the flea he now found
was obviously safe and sound
on a filing cabinet near the door
obviously waiting for more.

"Nevermore shall you be
mean to me or any flea,"
declared the odd little pest
as the General tried again his best
but missed and knock the files
into disorganized piles.

"I'm better than you, industrious flea!
You may escape but never beat me!
Where are you now so that can I
squish you before you fly!"

If General Walter Sobshack-McGraw
had one particularly fatal flaw
it was his way of becoming obsessed
and act like a loony possessed.
He tried to kill the flea and again did miss;
this continued until he destroyed his office.

"Nevermore, shall you..." SPLAT!
Finally the General prevailed with his bat.
"Nevermore is quite correct,"
said the General tired but errect
while leaning on the bat
admiring how the flea went splat.

"Flee you fleas, flee from my bat!"
he screamed and with that
he threw his bat over his head
and on return it knocked him dead.

General Walter Sobshack-McGraw
saw himself as a man with no flaw.
Yet he became quite obsessed with a flea
yet any fool could easily see
that his obsessions and ego brought his end
all because a flea did offend.

But the clairvoyant flea did predict wrong
his own end and should have thought of the song
"Never mess with a General you see
who likes to drink rooibos tea."

The lesson is quite easy, you see
it goes for horse, general and flea.
Sort out prejudicers and never fight
or others will be hurt by your petty flight.
And if you turn to fighting with a bat
you and your opponent shall both go splat!

[Aka-chan]

O_O That was...random... But I like randomness, and it made me smile. I shall be careful of fleas and swinging around bats from now on. Good job!

[bigsleepj]

O_O That was...random... But I like randomness, and it made me smile. I shall be careful of fleas and swinging around bats from now on. Good job!

Yes. I tried to write a poem about something else and this....parody (for lack of better word) or Poe's "The Raven" came out. I've seen worse. I have to work on my rhyming though.

[Aka-chan]

I could tell it was "The Raven" (the "nevermore" is a dead giveaway.) I love parodies! ^__^

Nice avatar, BTW.

[bigsleepj]

Nice avatar, BTW.

Thanks! If I could have drawn in a manga-anime style, I would have. :-)

(Pssst. it's not a self-portrait, by the way)

[true_noir_chloe]

I enjoyed this immensely.