Girls we need to let up on our guys.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

It is on my blog though I go into a lot of detail about my friend.

I am a bit confused though. I say at the beginning of my post “]
Fair enough. It just seemed like you desired some sort of vigilante spree to stop from doing something that most of us probably don't really do.

The scientific reason: crying releases some kind of something out of your brain that needs to be released when you're sad otherwise it's bad for you. I remember reading that somewhere, haha. Go look it up if you want details because I am not a very science-y girl. XD

The theory is that endorphins are released when we cry. I don't really think it's scientifically verified though.

[That Dude]

Thanks for the post Raven, it's good to hear that coming from a girl. And on another note, my perceptions have been shattered, I honestly thought that K. Ayato was a guy ever since she's joined until I read this thread. Man, I feel kinda stupid at the moment...

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

That Dude, really?
I thought the same several years ago but you've set an all new record!

[That Dude]

I can't help it! She wrote in such gender-neutral tones! Much like Kaori (whom weirdly enough I picked out much easier.)

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

Likely story!
I mean, I totally agree with you. It's pretty obvious I'm a guy. At least I hope so (lol).

[White Raven]

Fair enough. It just seemed like you desired some sort of vigilante spree to stop from doing something that most of us probably don't really do.

Well I’m glad we got this cleared up. I’ll try harder next time to be more concise.

BTW I love the new word “beatitudeâ€

[Sanderson]

I was hanging out with this one girl around a year ago to see if she was someone I would want as a girlfriend or something. She tried to manipulate me, cried about stupid stuff, was in anger management and told me about how her parents didn't want her dating guys because she was "emotionally unstable".

[White Raven]

I was hanging out with this one girl around a year ago to see if she was someone I would want as a girlfriend or something. She tried to manipulate me, cried about stupid stuff, was in anger management and told me about how her parents didn't want her dating guys because she was "emotionally unstable".

“Emotionally unstable" O.o you did the right thing by not dating her before you got to know her.

[animechica]

“Emotionally unstable" O.o you did the right thing by not dating her before you got to know her.

Why do people date before really getting to know the other person?
I think you should be really, REALLY good friends with someone before you make that kind of commitment (yeah, dating is a big commitment to me at least).

But aw, poor girl... I definitely see what you mean about emotionally unstable though... x_x It would take a guy with just about infinite patience to deal with that...

[Etoh*the*Greato]

Why do people date before really getting to know the other person?

because honestly the whole point of dating is getting to know someone. A date won't tell you anything, but an extended period of dating will tell you a lot.

[K. Ayato]

Couldn't have said it better myself.

(And yes, I'm girl, folks!)

[USSRGirl]

because honestly the whole point of dating is getting to know someone. A date won't tell you anything, but an extended period of dating will tell you a lot.

And an extended period of friendship will tell if you the guy's a slasher BEFORE you're alone with him on a date.

Yeah... no. I agree with Saphi wholeheartedly. Dating and even marriage, once the "flame" is gone is really the deepest form of friendship. If you have that foundation of liking and caring about someone you aren't going to date them exclusively to make out and get bored once the feeling ends. Furthermore, "date to get to know the guy" is dangerous advice to be dishing out. If you don't know or trust him beforehand, then for God's sake don't leave it as a surprise when you find yourself trapped in a relationship with the dude. Really... think before repeating cliche verbatim.

[Etoh*the*Greato]

I'm not saying go out and ask out the first random dude you see, because yeah, slasher. But seriously, what is even the point of dating if you're not using it as a period of time to get to know someone? Without that all it really IS is a period of time to get all makey-outey prior to marriage. The point of dating is to find out if you are compatible with a person romantically. Friendship may hint at it, but dating will outright tell you.

There is nothing dangerous what-so-ever in what I say. No more dangerous than any situation a person is going to find in the world anyway. If the guy was a rapist while you were dating, odds are he was gonna be a rapist while you were friends. Seriously.

[USSRGirl]

Odds are... you'd have picked up on something funny while you were friends (and probably met his friends too and had your friends hang out together thus adding more knowledge of the guy). But either way, here is the danger in what you're saying; it's easy for a cute guy who's known a girl for less than a week to suddenly go "hey, you wanna go out and do something together?" At this point, girls - and guys - really need to use a little discretion and not go "ZOMF! I wanna daaate, sounds fuuuun! I can get to know him once we go out together just like a shoujo manga!"

Dating is usually premature if friendship is not involved beforehand. If all you have is "dating" in the formal sense, you'll just have someone who's mouth you drooled all over for six months then got hitched to without any deeper bond to keep that relationship going. I guess I don't really see the point in making concrete hypothetical "time frames" for a relationship. I'm not saying dating isn't crucial, but it's usually a second step rather than a first. In other words, I don't see why boy meets girl has to bust out ten seconds into the conversation "OMG I gotta date you like now and find out if I wanna marry you - so how's tonight?!!!!" There's nothing wrong with taking things slow and casual. ...This ain't 1920 ya know.

[Etoh*the*Greato]

I'm not saying go out and ask out the first random dude you see, because yeah, slasher.

This. ^

And again. The whole point of dating is to learn about someone to learn if you are romantically compatible. If the guy is a rapist, he's probably gonna hide it long enough to get you alone anyway whether your friends or not. It's not dating at fault here, it's the rapist. If you are compatible and getting along anyway odds are you're already friends but usually healthy relationships don't come out of childhood best friends randomly proposing to one another out of the blue one day and saying, "let's get hitched!" Even in all of the "D'awwwww" romantic situations you see in Manga and TV they at least dated before they got to that point.

[USSRGirl]

That's a really defeatist argument. Why have any common sense at all because anyone could potentially be such a super sneaky rapist that you'd never know?

This. Lolwut. I'm out.

[Etoh*the*Greato]

The thing is, you're blaming the wrong thing! It's not dating at fault here, it's the slasher/rapist! It's not defeatist, it's realist! Yes! Anyone could be a sneaky rapist! That's exactly what I'm saying. Whether you're "just friends" or actually dating them, they're still gonna be a sneaky rapist and unless you take extreme precautions to never be alone with anyone (in which case, you'll have a seriously defunct marriage once you DO reach that point) they're gonna get JUST as many opportunities to have their awful way with you.

[Sohma]

This thread makes me giggle. I don't know if it's supposed to, but it does. :3

[K. Ayato]

Um, for the record, married couples still date . I mean, sure the husband (traditionally, ok? Plus it's laid out in the Bible) doesn't see his wife until he gets home from work, and he's usually tired and all. But both the husband and the wife need to set some time aside where work and/or the kids aren't hovering on the forefront of their minds and just spend time together. Just because they moved past dating and finally got married doesn't mean they finally know each other. Far beyond that. It's an ON-GOING process, folks.

[That Dude]

It's a life-time thing.

[Tsukuyomi]

I wonder... Wouuld it be wiser to date a friend rather a random person you have only known for a little while?

I always thought it would be wiser to date a friend, because you would get to know them on a more different level.

Friendship-< Romance, but I guess that can be a bit risky as well :-?

Topic Post: Those tactics really du suck XDD I'd admit, I would be a bit dissapointed if I didn't get what I wanted, but I'm sure there's a reason why ^_^

(First generation Asian family, so money was kept pretty tightly. I'm kinda used to it 8D)

As for the silent treatment. The only time I would try it is if I didn't want to say anything mean, but even then I would still tryi to talk to said person I guess to show them that. even if I am mad at them for whatever. I'm not going to let it effect how I feel about them over all ^ ^

I'm not sure if that made any sense at all <_>

[xblack_x_rosesx]

I wonder... Wouuld it be wiser to date a friend rather a random person you have only known for a little while?

I dunno...

I think people just need to find out whats, yknow. Right for them.
Maybe if you feel like you need to be friends before you date, then gopher it.
Like, a really good friend of mine and I started wondering if we could be romantic, so we tried it, and it didn't work. Just didn't. Despite being extremely close and good friends, we didn't have feelings for each other like that, even though it felt like we should.

My current boyfriend of 1.5 years and I almost started dating right off the bat. We were attracted to each other, and hung out as friends a few times, but we knew we were into each other like that, so we started dating, and became friends through that. He's my best friend, the only person I truly trust, and totally right for me. I don't think things would have turned out the way they are now if we had tried being friends first, because we were, like I said, attracted to each other, and if we had postponed that we could have risked becoming attracted to someone else.

If that makes sense.
I guess its just what works for you.

Thats my penny ^_^

[White Raven]

To USSRGirl and Etoh the Greato,
The truth is you are both right. In life we all must assess situations and act accordingly to them.

If a girl/guy had just met someone and knows nothing about them, likes, dislikes, what they expect out of a first date, then yes they need to feel this person out. And maybe if they want to go out with them, they should make it some place public and within their comfort zone.

But you can be dating someone at the same time you are getting to know them. If they understand that you both are getting to know each other, then there is no reason you can’t date someone you just met.

On topic for Tsukuyomi,

Yes I agree, if you feel you might say something hurtful take time to breathe. As I said just explain you need time to think and move on.

[ADXC]

I would just like to say that my parents met because of a BLIND date. They really had no knowledge of the other person at all and they are still happily married today.

So it is possible to date someone you never met and eventually get married.

But yeah sometimes you have to now the person before you can get the nerve to go out with them and possibly know that they could be the one.

In all of this be diserning in friendships, relationships and blind dates. If you don't like the person you go on a blind date with them then you can leave or just not call them back up.

Also I'd say pray to God before going out of dates to give you wisdom, disernment and protection.