Girls we need to let up on our guys.

[White Raven]

Ok girls, have you ever cried to get your way with your boyfriend?
Or maybe you haven’t and you are the girl/boy rolling your eye’s when you see this happening.
Well I have seen it happen one too many times. DX


Crying to get your way= Not cool.
Yes it’s ok to cry, but do not use this as a weapon. You should have stopped tearing up to get your way when you turned 5. Your mom didn’t buy you that Barbie just because you started crying in the store. So why would it work now? (Or maybe it did and that is why you think it will still work.)

Silent treatment= Not cool.
If something is bothering you, out with it. How would you like him to treat you this way?
How is he supposed to make amends if you won’t tell him what he did?
If you need time to cool down just say, “I want to think about this for awhile, and then we’ll talk.â€

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

[mod snip: Careful with the language W4J, spelling things different to get around the sites censor is not cool. -Steve] straight! Great post Raven. We don't like emotional mind games.
I haven't seen you around here in awhile. How have you been?

[initialdfreak]

sounds good to me, less mystery

[White Raven]

[mod snip] straight! Great post Raven. We don't like emotional mind games.

I posted this because someone I know is dealing with this kind of girlfriend. She is 27 years old and still acting this way. A nice guy shouldn't have to put up with it.

I haven't seen you around here in awhile. How have you been?

I've been good. The little girl in my avatar pic is my baby. I was mostly off working and carrying my baby.

The last post I seen from you said that you were leaving CAA for a bit. I hope things are going well for you.

[initialdfreak]

I posted this because someone I know is dealing with this kind of girlfriend. She is 27 years old and still acting this way. A nice guy shouldn't have to put up with it.



I've been good. The little girl in my avatar pic is my baby. I was mostly off working and carrying my baby.

The last post I seen from you said that you were leaving CAA for a bit. I hope things are going well for you.

Ive just come back from "leaving CAA for a while. ".

[White Raven]

Ive just come back from "leaving CAA for a while. ".

I you joined before I did. Sorry I don't remember every seeing any posts of yours.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

I'm good thanks Raven. I left CAA for a bit because there weren't any interesting (in my mind) conversations going on and I had gone through a phase and was using some other forums more.
I had nothing against anyone here or anything. I've been reguarly lurking though and still post occasionally.

I guessed that baby in your avatar was your daughter. She's a beautiful little girl. I'm sure you're a great mother.
Yeah, I know of too many guys who have girls that turn on the water works to manipulate them. Not saying guys don't have their flaws too (we do) but we're a bit more blunt when we do it.
I guess I'll have to find out the 'truth' for myself once I'm no longer single (lol).

[LadyRushia]

Hmm, I don't think I can make myself cry just to get something. Whenever I feel like crying, I tend to hold it back as much as possible until no one's around, XD.

Then again, I have no idea what kind of girlfriend I am, seeing as how I've been single for the past 18 years. I like to think I won't be manipulative, though, XD.

[Etoh*the*Greato]

I will give Jen puppyeyes. Used to work like a charm. >:D

[K. Ayato]

Back when I was dating, I'd say something to the extent of getting the guy to compromise. Especially when I didn't want to leave.

[initialdfreak]

Hmm, I don't think I can make myself cry just to get something. Whenever I feel like crying, I tend to hold it back as much as possible until no one's around, XD.

Then again, I have no idea what kind of girlfriend I am, seeing as how I've been single for the past 18 years. I like to think I won't be manipulative, though, XD.

what are your thoughts about guys crying? being from the south, I always hear that guys should be men and therefore no hint of emotion should ever be seen. i dont quite agree with that, but Im not too sure about why.

[K. Ayato]

I'm not sure how to describe it best, but it hits me hard when I see a guy tear up or even sob uncontrollably. Guess it reminds me of how we're all human and my heart goes out to those guys who shed tears and aren't ashamed of how others might perceive them in that kind of situation. To me, that's the sign of true strength in men: Being willing to express emotion, including sorrow, without fear of scorn or ridicule.

[initialdfreak]

I you joined before I did. Sorry I don't remember every seeing any posts of yours.

well I probably was on leave for a while before and after you joined.

[initialdfreak]

I'm not sure how to describe it best, but it hits me hard when I see a guy tear up or even sob uncontrollably. Guess it reminds me of how we're all human and my heart goes out to those guys who shed tears and aren't ashamed of how others might perceive them in that kind of situation. To me, that's the sign of true strength in men: Being willing to express emotion, including sorrow, without fear of scorn or ridicule.

Thats what I think, but theres still a stigma here. It may not just be here but everywhere.

[Shao Feng-Li]

Nice post.

...If I ever get a boy friend, I'll remember >>; I've been single for 19 years...

[LadyRushia]

I think a man who isn't afraid to show his emotions is stronger than one who hides them. By showing his emotions, a man shows that he is comfortable with himself and doesn't need to put on a show to earn respect. That being said, a couple of my friends have boyfriends who will cry over just about anything, XD. Personally, I don't think I'd want a guy who's over emotional all the time, but I do want a guy who isn't afraid to show his feelings.

Now I sound like a hypocrite because I said I don't cry in front of people, XD. I just don't want the attention of everyone being like, "OMG Y R U A SAD R U OKAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Also, when you cry your face gets all wet and red and your nose starts running--not to mention when you try to tell people what's wrong while you're crying your voice sounds like you've got something lodged in your throat.

Then again, the stuff that I've had to cry about recently has been kind of dumb, XD. If I found out one of my friends or family members dies, I'd cry right then and there no matter what.

But alas, the thread has gone off topic! People should just like, be real with each other and stuff, yeah.

[ShiroiHikari]

I think a man who isn't afraid to show his emotions is stronger than one who hides them. By showing his emotions, a man shows that he is comfortable with himself and doesn't need to put on a show to earn respect. That being said, a couple of my friends have boyfriends who will cry over just about anything, XD. Personally, I don't think I'd want a guy who's over emotional all the time, but I do want a guy who isn't afraid to show his feelings.

You pretty much summed up my feelings on the subject.

Anyway, I don't like manipulative girls either. I do cry a lot when I get upset about something, but it's not because I'm trying to guilt trip Daymon into doing something. XD

[Sohma]

I think about such things sometimes, and mostly about what I /don't/ want to be as a GF/wife, like manipulative. I pray about it too xD. I'm not going to be looking for awhile though, I'm 15 and want to work on my relationships with God, family, friends and on school right now ^^.

Awesome post, thank you so much for it!!

[xblack_x_rosesx]

I will give Jen puppyeyes. Used to work like a charm. >:D

Oh goodness, my boy does that to me.
Except he pretends he's either a kitty or a sloth o.O;;

Either way, it works like a charm

[Mr. SmartyPants]

What is your underlying motive for posting this thread? I don't really get it. It seems very random.

[xblack_x_rosesx]

Sake of conversation?

[ADXC]

I posted this because someone I know is dealing with this kind of girlfriend. She is 27 years old and still acting this way. A nice guy shouldn't have to put up with it.

Come on you guys, don't ya read?

[White Raven]

What is your underlying motive for posting this thread? I don't really get it. It seems very random.

I suppose it is a little random. But would you think the same thing if I had posted the same old girly complaints about guys, like “wahh my boyfriend doesn’t understand me?”

My point is there is a big double standard when it comes to the way people see women’s behavior in a relationship, as apposed to men.

If a woman is controlling and manipulative people mostly just laugh and say “you can see who wears the pants there.” But if a man is controlling and manipulative, people see it for what it is, and they say “he’s abusive.”

[Mr. SmartyPants]

But you sort of make it seem like you're trying to put some of us to blame. Rather it being "So one of my friends is being like such and such, how does this relate to you?", you posted it like "Hey girls, stop doing this this and that!"

It also seems kind of LJish, so... perhaps such things are best suited for a blog?

[White Raven]

But you sort of make it seem like you're trying to put some of us to blame. Rather it being "So one of my friends is being like such and such, how does this relate to you?", you posted it like "Hey girls, stop doing this this and that!"

It also seems kind of LJish, so... perhaps such things are best suited for a blog?

It is on my blog though I go into a lot of detail about my friend.

I am a bit confused though. I say at the beginning of my post “Ok girls, have you ever cried to get your way with your boyfriend?
Or maybe you haven’t and you are the girl/boy rolling your eye’s when you see this happening.â€

[Mave]

Rather it being "So one of my friends is being like such and such, how does this relate to you?", you posted it like "Hey girls, stop doing this this and that!"

In all due respect, I had this initial first impression as well. IMO, not a big issue, it's just to let you know. ^_^ Interesting subject though.

I think we can agree that the act of crying is fine but it's the motivation behind it that is in question.

I can't pretend to cry so the concept of manipulating someone with my tears is out of the question. In fact, I cry when I DON'T want to cry (i.e. in a professional setting/in front of my boss ). I cry because I'm feeling horrible about myself and that's my coping mechanism to take out my stress. I sometimes wish I had better control of my emotions but I'm also think suppressing them to the extreme is not healthy.

With that said, I think it'll serve guys well if they learnt how to distinct between crocodile tears and the genuine heartbroken tears. It's definitely not easy but if you do, you can avoid the situation that White Raven is not happy about (her perception that her friend being manipulated by his gf).

In a way, the motives are similar to how some guys may sweet-talk a woman into doing things for him; taking advantage of the other gender's weaknesses. Maybe this is a wake-up call for some folks here. I think it's a gentle reminder to respect the other gender, not mess around with them.

[Sohma]

Lol I thought this post was cool. xD And though I don't know if CAA needs a whole lot more of these posts, I always enjoy lessons to learn for my future or about something I need to change. I'm all about that stuff, but I don't want to just read someones blog I don't know so yeah, like I said, I really liked it. :3
I've only posted one thing like this on a blog (though it's almost like a devotional . . . I guess), I wonder if I posted here what the response would be I wont bother you guys with that though ;D.

[ADXC]

All I can say is that Im glad that Im not in a relationship.

[animechica]

Hmm, I don't really cry to get my way unless it is a very emotionally charged circumstance, and at that point I'm past the point of being manipulative, I'm pretty much just screaming from my soul... but, I generally don't have that problem with my boyfriend because we think similarly and I don't really feel the need to manipulate him to do anything. ^.^

what are your thoughts about guys crying? being from the south, I always hear that guys should be men and therefore no hint of emotion should ever be seen. i dont quite agree with that, but Im not too sure about why.

I think if you're a man and you feel like crying, you should.
The scientific reason: crying releases some kind of something out of your brain that needs to be released when you're sad otherwise it's bad for you. I remember reading that somewhere, haha. Go look it up if you want details because I am not a very science-y girl. XD

My reasoning: Men should not feel like they have to conform to the "tough guy" image just like women shouldn't feel like they have to be typical beauties that society would approve of. If you're naturally the kind of guy who doesn't cry, that's alright, but it doesn't make you any better or more "manly" ultimately than the guy next to you who's sobbing his eyes out at something really sad. Truth be told, I like it when guys cry, not because I'm sadistic or enjoy watching them suffer or anything like that, but because it is such an open display of human emotion. I am more attracted to that expressiveness.

So, if you feel like crying, go ahead. IMHO it is the culturally-brainwashed, ignorant people who will give you crap for it, and their opinions really aren't worth listening to. : )

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

I think it's stupid when people cry over just about everything (men and women included). But I believe crying is healthy and not unmanly at all.