You know you read too much when...

[ich1990]

... you have actually read War and Peace instead of just pretending that you have when asked about it during social conventions.

or
... you don't have time for social conventions becuase you are reading War and Peace.

or

... you were homeschooled.

[the_wolfs_howl]

...you taught yourself to read at the age of four, and are proud because a famous author did the same.

...your friends complained to you when you were a child that "You never want to play with me; you're always reading!"

...you have cried when you fell asleep without a stack of books next to your bed (happened when I was five, at my grandparents' house)

...you consider it a matter of honor to have a bookshelf (or at least a stack of books) in every single room of the house, including the bathroom and the kitchen.

...you freak out whenever you see a mistake/typo in a book you're reading.

...you cross out such mistakes and correct them in red ink in the margins.

...you use words that seem completely commonplace to you in your everyday language, and your friends give you strange looks, ask you what the word means, or laugh and ask you if you wrote an essay on the subject beforehand because you're using complete sentences without inserting 'like' unnecessarily into them.

...you know that "but soft!" means "but wait!"

...the original version of a Shakespeare play is easier to read than the 'modern-day English' version.

...you consider 700 pages a normal size of a book.

...you never had to study hard for a spelling test, because you've seen all those words a bazillion times in the books you read.

...you get neck aches and back aches from bending over your books for hours on end.

...you start narrating your life to yourself.

...in the dialect of the story you've just read. (Gah, Smoky the Cow-Horse, die already!)

...random words get stuck in your head like songs do - words like 'tempestuous' or 'fervid'.

...you're American, but you automatically use British spellings because you've read so many books by British authors. (Seriously, I can handle most American spellings, but 'gray' never looks right to me. It has to be 'grey'!)

[GwenneZ]

you know you read to much when your literature and language teacher takes the book away that your reading....happened to me this year....then she corrected herself by saying books are good and im glad you want to read but just not when im teaching please

[shade of dae]

...you taught yourself to read at the age of four, and are proud because a famous author did the same.

...your friends complained to you when you were a child that "You never want to play with me]Smoky the Cow-Horse[/i], die already!)

...random words get stuck in your head like songs do - words like 'tempestuous' or 'fervid'.

...you're American, but you automatically use British spellings because you've read so many books by British authors. (Seriously, I can handle most American spellings, but 'gray' never looks right to me. It has to be 'grey'!)

All of these apply to me except "...you have cried when you fell asleep without a stack of books next to your bed" When I was a kid however, I cried several times when I was a kid becuase my Mom wouldn't take me to the library.
One of the most common and perhaps disturbing habits I have is narrating my life to myself. "She set the cup down, staring curiously at the way the milk droplets turned blue in the light. Hearing her name called, she glanced up, startled. How oft was she interrupted!" etc. It usually happens when I have a Jane Austen marathon, and can get rather irritating.

[the_wolfs_howl]

...you cry while reading Fahrenheit 451 (which is about burning books)

I didn't quite do that, but I felt like crying. The poor books! ;_;

[rocklobster]

then don't read 1984. That future's even more oppressive.

[the_wolfs_howl]

...when you freak out if you see a book on the floor. "What if someone steps on it?!"

[Aletheia]

...when your friends come to you before they go to the dictionary or encyclopedia.

...when the top item on your Christmas wish list is a bigger bookshelf.

...when you use flowery speech in your everyday conversation.

[Sae-chan]

... when as soon as you hear/read a new word, you look it up in a dictionary and write it down in a special notebook.

... when you try to quote as many books as you can at the risk of sounding idiotic.

... when you ace a spelling test because you know the words already. (Not quite mine, but definitely true for me!)

... when you have a love of long and complicated words.

... when your friends stare at you because you just used a word that they don't understand.

.. when your friends start copying your long words because they want to sound smart/confusing.

... when you have a very bad eyesight.

... when you think you can kill people with your looks.

... when you think you can live in a cave for a year and survive without any side effects.

... when you think that good guys (namely your friends) will defeat the cruel and oppressive bad guys (namely your teacher).

... when you leave home to search for an adventure and do have one - but not one with a happy ending. (Namely your parents' scoldings.)

... when you think you can walk to the end of the world and find a magical tree with golden apples/candy/anything you wish on it.

... when you believe that monsters and fairies and wizards are actually real, if you only believe in them.

... when you cry at the end of a book with a sad ending, and then immediately start conjuring up alternate (happier) endings for that book.

[choklit]

...when your librarian starts calling you by your first name.
...when the janitor of the library starts to call you by your first name.
...when they dedicate a wing in the library after you.
...when you've perfected the art of walking with a stack of 10 books in your arms and not falling
...when you know the Dewey Decimal system better then Dewey
...when the people at Borders start getting mad because you go into their store, read, leave, and never buy anything.
Then you move to Barnes and Nobles. Repeat.

[LadyRushia]

. . .when you have a bunch of books you've started but keep buying more (I've promised not to buy any more books until I finish the ones I already have, XD).

. . .when you're an English major.

. . .when you love books so much you want to write them.

. . .when you realize that reading good books makes your writing better.

. . .when you can have a conversation with someone filled with nothing but literary injokes.

[Sohma]

. . . when you've sworn to yourself to NEVER let a book rest on your bookshelf until you've compleated it. Unless it's something like Chicken Soup for the Soul or a book of facts. But when it is one of these types of books, you lie them down flat with a ceramic figure on top of them, to establish the difference between these and your most beloved beauties. (that was long >->)

. . . when you swell with intense pride when you put a book on said shelf whether you enjoyed the book or not.


. . . when you start caring deeply for the books themselves and refuse to get them from the library because you know you'll develop an attatchment to the book.

. . . when you explain to a friend and their parent about the importance of owning a book.

. . . when you remember the book you were reading when major events happen in your life (such as your grandfather passing ;-;).

. . . when you get to the point to where you are actually willing to rest your book open (face down *gasp*) but if you see someone else doing that to your book you freak.

. . . when you want to marry a character in a book you're reading.

. . . when the question "if you had three wishes" is always replied with "to go into any book I want at any time I want".

. . .when you have a bunch of books you've started but keep buying more (I've promised not to buy any more books until I finish the ones I already have, XD).

This doesn't work, hun.

[LadyRushia]

But it is working! XD Every time I see a book I want, I just add it to my list. I've already finished most of the books I brought home for Christmas break (then again, most of them were manga).

I guess I should add some more. Hmmm. . .

. . .when reading 100 pages a day is normal.

. . .when you can judge how good a book is by its smell.

. . .when your parents tell you how much your speaking has improved and attribute it to how much you read.

[the_wolfs_howl]

...when you never use a bookmark because you read the book too fast.

[GwenneZ]

-when you take a book into a movie theater and a movie rental place

[Lilac#18]

...when you dream about being a super hero/heroine.

[the_wolfs_howl]

...when your brother expects you to say "exhume" when you were going to say "breathe". (No joke!)