Women of CAA, I have a question.

[Evran]

Im not sure if anyone has said it yet, but if you stop trying to get a girl, and focus on god, he'll provide one for you. that is the most important thing you can do for your self. focus on the good lord, and when HE deems it time, he will provide you with an incredible woman.

This, basically.

Make sure you have your priorities in order (aka. putting God first) and aren't getting obsessive over the idea of getting a girl.

Too often people find themselves aiming toward getting married or getting into a relationship because they believe that it will 'fix' everything and it will make them happy. Be sure that you're not falling into that trap. If you're not happy or secure with who you are, and what your position with God is right now, entering a relationship will not fix that.

If you feel that there are areas of your life you need to sort out (I do not mean superficial things like your looks mind you, but rather faults in your thinking, habits, etc), pray about them, and work towards being happy and confident in the person God has made you to be, and wants you to be.

Trust that God has a plan for you. You may feel as though right now is the best time for you to be finding a wife, but the Lord knows what we need moreso than we ever will. I believe that he is preparing you a wonderful wife as we speak, to be revealed to you in HIS timing .

[Tsukuyomi]

I just read that looks only account for 20 - 30% of a womans attraction to a man. Maybe God's trying to tell me something.

Anyway, good hygiene and cleanliness seem to be the number one piece of advice. Got ya.
For the rest maybe I could read some romance mangas and copy what the hot guys who get all the girls wear . . . and find my own style based upon what I learn?

Oh and I need to do smething about my hairstyle too. Maybe go to a gay male hairdressers, because I hear that gay guys have an uncanny ability of knowing what looks good to women.

Looking to manga isn't the greatest thing ^^; Some things in manga/anime are pretty over the top, and that may be a bad thing ^^ Although, it's ok to get ideas, though :-? I've seen some pretty normal rl wear in manga ^ ^

I luled at the last part of your post XDD It seems like you have a great sense of humor ^^ Keep that up. I don't think any woman wants a stick in the mud XP

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut, it is quite true about gay hairdressers/makeup artist XD My sister took pictures at Glamour Shots.. in Thailand, and the makeup artist (whom was gay) did a great job with her makeup ^ ^

Ok, that last part was a bit off topic.. Please forgive me ^__^;

[minakichan]

What.

I base all of my decisions for my appearance on manga. How could you not. What's wrong with all of you.

Then again, I'm not interested in men.

[Prince Asbel]

When people say "be yourself", why do they say it? Because they want to be all inspirational film er -y? XD On the contrary, being yourself is simply not hiding away what God has created and trying to be something else.

The idea is that you should be who you are, and expect others to accept that. See, one of the biggest things about living a married life is accepting and allowing your spouse to live with their different traits that you may not have or even like yourself. If you can't do that regularly in normal company, you could never hope to be truly intimate with your spouse. Honesty is always the way, and girls appreciate it.

EDIT: That's not to say guys DON'T appreciate honesty, but we are talking about girls here.

[Bobtheduck]

Honesty is always the way, and girls appreciate it.

I often wonder...

There are times that a girl will say "How do I look" and they legitimately don't look good, for instance.

There was a comedy sketch I wanted to post in regards to this, but the only one I can find wasn't CAA appropriate...

Plus I can tell you of at least one major instance where honestly ruined things for me.

[Raiden no Kishi]

I often wonder...

There are times that a girl will say "How do I look" and they legitimately don't look good, for instance.

There was a comedy sketch I wanted to post in regards to this, but the only one I can find wasn't CAA appropriate...

Plus I can tell you of at least one major instance where honestly ruined things for me.

Last I checked, honesty =/= unfiltered disclosure.

.rai//

[Saj]

If a girl asked me "how do i look?" and she looked horrible... id tell her she looks horrible.

If she cant handle that, she needs to grow up.

then again... im single.




edit: to me, honesty is the most important thing.

[Raiden no Kishi]

If a girl asked me "how do i look?" and she looked horrible... id tell her she looks horrible.

If she cant handle that, she needs to grow up.

then again... im single.

edit: to me, honesty is the most important thing.

God forbid you consider her feelings and, y'know, be diplomatic about it.

Honesty's important, but there's a thing called "tact" that entails being honest, but also considerate.

.rai//

[minakichan]

If a girl asked me "how do i look?" and she looked horrible... id tell her she looks horrible.

That's like telling a kid who's struggling in math, "Well hey, you're just stupid."

Not only will he hate you forever, you've potentially just blown his interest in improving himself for eternity.

[Saj]

haha... i need to explain myself better.

Im blunt, but not that blunt. I wouldnt Flat out tell the girl, "hey your lookin horrible tonight" but i wouldnt lie to her and tell her she looks like Cinderella.

So to reiterate. If a girl asked me "How do i look?" and she looks horrible, Id tell she looks horrible in the nicest, most tactful, and lifting way possible.

Im not a jerk, just very very very honest.

And ive been in that position before. a girl i went out with was looking pretty freakin bad, and she asked me, and said to be honest, and i was, i told her she looked bad. Her response was the best ever: "Sucks to be you." (we were goin to cheese cake factory and i was dressed pretty well.)

[Bobtheduck]

When girls are looking horrible, and they ask me how they look, I don't answer. I freeze up, mumble, and walk away. It's happened before. Actually, once it happened when one girl asked me that about a DIFFERENT girl...

And once again, I stand by what I said. It may not mean unfiltered disclosure, but when you're asked about things, you only have so many choices.

[chibiphonebooth]

Being a girl, there are better ways to say a girl looks bad than something like that.
Even if you say 'well you don't look THAT bad' or 'eehh' :/ or something... girls read it very differently.

It means: "You look absolutely disgusting."

XD

Some better ways would be saying something like "What about that (pink/green/black/whatever) dress that you have in the closet? I like that one a lot" or
"I like the other pair of pants better! They compliment your figure!"

The best way is to kinda steer her away from the one she is wearing to something else that you find more flattering. Compliment her. Girls like compliments. XD

/end

[ShiroiHikari]

Protip: When a woman asks you how she looks, she's not asking you how she looks, she wants you to reassure her that you think she's pretty. Or at least, that's what it means when I say it. XD

I agree with chibs. Instead of just saying "LOL YOU LOOK LIKE CRAP", go to her closet with her and suggest something else. If she takes offense to that, then punch her in the chest. Wait, no...

[Bobtheduck]

I agree with chibs. Instead of just saying "LOL YOU LOOK LIKE CRAP", go to her closet with her and suggest something else. If she takes offense to that, then punch her in the chest. Wait, no...

Suggest something else... Hahahaha... Wow... Well, thankfully I'm not getting asked those questions often, but when I do, I'm almost never near enough the girl's closet to suggest alternatives.

If this question comes from a girlfriend, it'll be different, but everytime I've been asked, it's been someone who's not a girlfriend.

EDIT: I can't find the exact sketch I'm looking for, but this one (from the same show) deals with honesty too... Of a different sort.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Eng-pRT9uA&feature=related

[Tsukuyomi]

I'm sorry, but.. LOL! THIS THREAD MADE ME LUL XDD; Well, the stuff on this page anyway

Yeah... girls can be harsh sometimes XD I can say that honestly, because well.. I'M A GIRL ^__^

Honesty is the right policy (or whatever that saying is), but tact is your best friend ^^ Not just when being asked "How do I look?" XDD

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Im not a jerk, just very very very honest.

No. That is rather jerk-ish.

When at a date or any outing, I imagine that most women generally care only for one person's opinion: Her date's. If you tell her that she looks pretty ugly, then congratulations! You ruined her day!

Protip: When a woman asks you how she looks, she's not asking you how she looks, she wants you to reassure her that you think she's pretty. Or at least, that's what it means when I say it. XD

This.

[Kura Ookami]

It seems to me that women don't always say exactly what they mean. They'll imply something rather than be direct. I'm a man here so i could be completely off the mark here. So when a woman says something, anything, you might want to think for a moment about what does that thing she just said mean? I'm not sure how she'd take your hesitation in answering because you're trying to think though. Why didn't God give us men a manual on how to understand women?

[Mr. SmartyPants]

It's called being a good listener. =)

It's something most men rarely do. XD

[Raiden no Kishi]

Protip: When a woman asks you how she looks, she's not asking you how she looks, she wants you to reassure her that you think she's pretty. Or at least, that's what it means when I say it. XD

I agree with chibs. Instead of just saying "LOL YOU LOOK LIKE CRAP", go to her closet with her and suggest something else. If she takes offense to that, then punch her in the chest. Wait, no...

This. This is exactly what I wanted to get at. Good to know I'm not out to lunch on this one. ^_^

.rai//

[Tsukuyomi]

It's called being a good listener. =)

It's something most men rarely do. XD

Just to be fair, that can be the same for us as well ^^ Same for us women needing a MANual XD

[Etoh*the*Greato]

There is a communication barrier that can be very hard to cross. Men and women may not naturally come thinking differently, but by the time we're dating we often do. This could be a result of the way we're taught to think by those around us, but what ever. Fact is that learning to overcome that barrier is one of the first things you work towards as a couple. Until you overcome that wall, be considerate. Truth is good, but being considerate until then is better than truth. Truth is for someone who trusts you and whom you trust. It's a good policy, but unrestricted truth can be hurtful to anyone who doesn't trust you if you're not very careful with how you give the truth.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

There is a communication barrier that can be very hard to cross. Men and women may not naturally come thinking differently, but by the time we're dating we often do. This could be a result of the way we're taught to think by those around us, but what ever. Fact is that learning to overcome that barrier is one of the first things you work towards as a couple. Until you overcome that wall, be considerate. Truth is good, but being considerate until then is better than truth. Truth is for someone who trusts you and whom you trust. It's a good policy, but unrestricted truth can be hurtful to anyone who doesn't trust you if you're not very careful with how you give the truth.

This man. He is very wise.

[Saj]

It seems to me that women don't always say exactly what they mean. They'll imply something rather than be direct. I'm a man here so i could be completely off the mark here. So when a woman says something, anything, you might want to think for a moment about what does that thing she just said mean? I'm not sure how she'd take your hesitation in answering because you're trying to think though. Why didn't God give us men a manual on how to understand women?

Under my experience, like Smarty pants said, be a good listener. Usually if im talking to a woman, especially if its important, i just let her talk and talk and not say anything significant. Sometimes you got to let them say everything, even if it takes 3 hours, and then add it all up at the end.

I think most of our communication barrier is that men are action oriented, as where women are passive. If theres an issue for example, as soon as a man finds out he'll start thinking of ways to "fix" the problem. Most women are more content with the man sitting there and talking about it.

In the matter of them saying one thing and meaning another. That's just a matter of getting the WHOLE picture. Women like to say things with their words and actions. You just have to both listen and read them.

[Prince Asbel]

I think this thread has veered away from its original purpose, though I suppose it has been served.

Talking about being honest, I mean, come on. Being pretty is a big thing for a lot of girls, and to say she failed at one of the big things is very harsh. Yes, be honest, but there's a way to break things to people less harsh than "I think you look blech in that get-up, girl!" You could say something like "I think you would look better with-" and name something else.

There's another thing my sister told me. She said something sort of like girls not talking enough when they're dating. She sees guys talking all the time about themselves, but the girls hardly speaking at all. I guess it can be said for both genders that if the guy/girl speaks to the expense of his/her dates need to speak, then that barrier will still be there.

[Nate]

It's called being a good listener. =)

It's something most men rarely do. XD

In my defense I only don't listen because they talk when I'm trying to play video games or watch TV. It's like, geez, have a little courtesy, girl!

[Psycho Molos]

Woaaah... I guess I don't fit into those stereotypes that you posted LOL.

I don't have a ton of shoes.. I have like.. 3 pairs.. XD flip flops and casual boots. (summer and winter 8D)

I don't spend a lot of time on my hair... it's short? XD annnd as long as my clothes match... yeah I don't really spend a lot of time on making them perfect.

I would say to just be yourself... girls can usually tell when a guy is trying too hard, or trying to be fake. XD

it's no wonder why I have no luck myself....however I second your advice even though I'm one to talk. My own fear is that if I don't try to find one then what if I never find one before I die or any of the other doubts I have....

[Tsukuyomi]

Being fake and posing as another would be very tiring. That's why you should just be yourself to begin with ^ ^ If she doesn't except that, then do you really want her? I mean, posing is going to get old and tiresome, so just be yourself ^ ^ Aaaaaaand, wouldn't that be basically saying she doesn't really want you to begin with O.O?

You know, because you're trying to be someone else you're not XP

[Raiden no Kishi]

In my defense I only don't listen because they talk when I'm trying to play video games or watch TV. It's like, geez, have a little courtesy, girl!

Or when they SHOULD be getting you a drink and a sammich. Seriously! What the heck?

.rai//

[Etoh*the*Greato]

Yeah! What the heck!

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

It's true that 'often' girls talk about nothing and us guys have a hard time listening in that sense, but if they say something of value we listen.
Don't we?