Women of CAA, I have a question.

[Kura Ookami]

I want to know what attracts a woman like you to a man. What do you look for?
And how can I change my looks to become more attractive?

I know that women usually have tons of pairs of shoes in their closets so I bet you know what shoes look good for guys too. Care to educate me on that?
Next is hairstyle. Women put a lot of effort into making their hair look good, so you must have some tips for a guy. So share them. Help me choose a hairstyle.
Finally clothes. Women spend a lot of time getting their clothes just perfect . . . and most guys don't even notice. Anyway, what would look good on me for casual wear?

Oh and here's a pic of me at the moment. Can you improve my attractiveness?

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Speaking as a guy, as far as I'm concerned, (with my vast vast vast experience... yeah right XD) a girl will usually care more for someone with a personality that is of excellent chemistry with them. Granted looks may provide initial attraction, but if you're a lamewad tardface, than any sensible girl would lose all desire for that guy. XD

As for looks, I can't help you in that area. Girls have different tastes in men. Just like how some guys love a girl's collarbone (lol hay Andrew) while another may not care for them. Some girls might like guys with short hair, and others may like guys with longer hair.

So if you really want to have lots of lady friends, then a good amount of time has to be invested in being a more sociable person as well as having the guts to ask people out.

[Tsukuyomi]

No matter how you look, Kura.. I'm sure a woman would appreciate you for your personality ^__^

There may be said women who are more into looks, but do you really want that kind of woman?

[ChristianKitsune]

Woaaah... I guess I don't fit into those stereotypes that you posted LOL.

I don't have a ton of shoes.. I have like.. 3 pairs.. XD flip flops and casual boots. (summer and winter 8D)

I don't spend a lot of time on my hair... it's short? XD annnd as long as my clothes match... yeah I don't really spend a lot of time on making them perfect.

I would say to just be yourself... girls can usually tell when a guy is trying too hard, or trying to be fake. XD

[Puguni]

Just don't be creepy. And practice regular hygiene.

I didn't say this because I looked at your picture. It's just a general thing. Creepiness on a guy is like a huge warning sign to any normal girl.

[Kaligraphic]

Speaking a a guy - in general, I find I get a lot more attention from the opposite sex when I don't look completely depressed and enervated. The lack of vitality seems to be a turn-off.

[ShiroiHikari]

Self-confidence is also very helpful in such matters. Women like confident men. But...confidence isn't the same thing as arrogance, so keep that in mind.

[Song_of_Storms]

I cannot stress how much personal hygiene matters. nobody wants to get close to someone who looks like they haven't bathed in a couple of weeks. (Ok, so that might just be my own warped option...)

Be yourself! Wear what you want! Appearance doesn't matter (other then cleanliness) just as long as you're comfortable.

-now get out there and have fun! *pushes Kura-kun into the street*

[Etoh*the*Greato]

Hygiene and confidence, dude. When you don't like yourself, it shows, and rubs off on to others.

[Gabriel 9.0]

I'm going to tell you a few things that Gods showed me man.
1. Be yourself
2. good looks don't really matter, lot of females say I look good, etc,( not trying to sound vain, just posting my experience) however I really like it when they notice I'm a good person first. Plus a true lady wants a nice guy.

3. Be confident in God and yourself.
4. Be brave and let God guide you, even pray about it when necessary before talking, even though being shy to a degree is good, since you do mean what you say XD.
Always keep good hygine like the others have told you.

Hope this helps, happy hunting and Godspeed:thumb:

[sharien chan]

I agree with all the above. Good hygiene, no creepiness, and just being a good guy and a good christian are what will get you a girl. Some girls go for the "hot guy" but most girls I know don't care what the guy looks like. The guy's personality is what makes them attractive. Self confidence is really what makes a guy really attractive too.

[Etoh*the*Greato]

Y'know what? Go to an anime con and people-watch. You'll see a lot of what to do and what not to do. Notice the guys that are popular with the ladies. Don't pay attention to how they look, look at how they act. Now look at the guys that everyone avoids and see what they do.

Edit: Also, some of the strongest relationships start as friendships and naturally evolve in to love. Not necessarily because you sought it, but because it just happened.

[Ashley]

lso, some of the strongest relationships start as friendships and naturally evolve in to love. Not necessarily because you sought it, but because it just happened.

*nods* That's how I found the best relationship I've ever had

[Nia-chan]

Need full body shot
Current hairstyle not bad looking, but would consider changing for a younger look
Good personality is a must - everything also depends on the kind of women you want to attract

Good luck

[Kunoichi]

personally:

i agree with what everyone has said in terms of just being who you are.

And yea, being friends first definetely helps ^_^

[minakichan]

Asking "hay gurlz, what kinds of guys do you liek?" is a pretty surefire way to fail, seeing as we don't all have the same taste...

I know the whole "appearances don't matter!" thing is going around here, but I think that since he specifically asked about looks, we might as well accommodate-- with the disclaimer that it's not going to make or break one's chances and that there are more important things out there.

But I have really bad taste so I don't think I can start that off >_>;

[Raiden no Kishi]

Can I just go ahead and call shenanigans on the whole "appearance doesn't matter" bit here? Please? Now, I'm not calling anyone's morals into question here. I think we're all mature enough to know that appearance isn't vitally important. But can we just go ahead and say that we notice it and find certain aesthetics appealing, even attractive, in the opposite sex? It's not shallow unless you put looks above more important things.

So by all means, be a gentleman - this is non-negotiable. Be considerate and selfless and confident. But I'm with minakichan, guys. We should really address the question presented - it is, after all, important to the OP.

I'm no fashionista, but I can say that one of the best all-around ways to accessorize is with a smile. I know it sounds trite, but it does help. It's free, too! Now I just need to do it more myself. "Physician, heal thyself," and all that.

.rai//

[Doubleshadow]

lamewad tardface

Note to MSP: Do not use these words in your grad. school application essay.

Kura: I have to echo what everyone is saying here about recognizing that women are individuals and all of us have different wants, needs, expectations, and opinions. Just like guys. We are not aliens from another planet. Occasionally, I feel like guys approach trying to get a girlfriend/wife/just-one-date the same way they would approach bass fishing. Not going to happen, and even if it did, she'd probably be crazy.
As far as trying to attract another person, as far as visuals go, like tends to attract like. Dress for the kind of person you want to get the attention of.

[Etoh*the*Greato]

Appearance totally matters. Anyone who says that appearance doesn't matter one whit is lying to themselves. :p

[Tsukuyomi]

Appearance totally matters. Anyone who says that appearance doesn't matter one whit is lying to themselves. :p

It's not that they don't matter, because appearance is the first thing you see. Buuuuuuuut, it's not the most important thing ^^

[Doe Johnson]

Dress for the kind of person you want to get the attention of.

I'd agree with this statement. To me, it basically means be yourself. I mean, really, if you want to attract someone with similar interests or life habits, shouldn't you dress that way? Good hygiene and cleanliness would be pretty high on my "initial attraction" list, but not so much the clothing.

Personality is the key. I've been attracted to someone who wasn't "attractive" in general terms, but I didn't even realize it until after I no longer had a crush on him. Confidence and friendliness go a long way.

To me, guys who are obviously trying to get a girlfriend automatically creep me out. It seems like they drop a never ending amount of hints but can't pick up on the return ones to leave someone alone. Look for the hints that a girl thinks you are trying too hard. If you don't pick up on them, she might just start avoiding you, and that just ruins a perfectly good friendship.

I'd say just be a friend first. I've always assumed that the guy I marry will be someone I was friends with for a year or so before dating.

(My personal preference in a guy is a Christian from Taiwan around 180 cm tall (woah...I just automatically went to the metric system...) between the ages of 20 and 25 with slightly long hair who speaks English with an Australian accent and wants to live in Japan for a few years before moving permanently to Kansas...something highly unlikely, and well, I don't really expect it )

[Doe Johnson]

On another random note - I have brothers who are identical twins. While growing up, I always thought one of them looked 'dorky' and the other looked relatively attractive (for a brother...). They look THE SAME. They have similar hair styles, clothing, and glasses. They have similar beliefs, hang out with the same people, and sometimes have similar jobs. Thus, even slight differences in personality can greatly affect how people are viewed physically.

Oddly enough, the brother who I think looks dorky is the married one...

[Kura Ookami]

I just read that looks only account for 20 - 30% of a womans attraction to a man. Maybe God's trying to tell me something.

Anyway, good hygiene and cleanliness seem to be the number one piece of advice. Got ya.
For the rest maybe I could read some romance mangas and copy what the hot guys who get all the girls wear . . . and find my own style based upon what I learn?

Oh and I need to do smething about my hairstyle too. Maybe go to a gay male hairdressers, because I hear that gay guys have an uncanny ability of knowing what looks good to women.

[Maledicte]

Please don't change your entire lifestyle/appearance just to get a woman. It upsets me when I see women worrying about what "pleases" men and ultimately having no will of their own, basing their entire worth on what the opposite gender supposedly likes. It's just as upsetting in a man.

I would not suggest looking at shojo manga for fashion tips. Most fashion in manga tends to be from the 80's and 90's. Leave them be.

Also ask yourself, WHY are you attempting to attract women in the first place? It seems that a lot of people nowadays have the mindset that they "deserve" a mate. If you have this way of thinking, please correct it. Hunting for a mate before you are ready to be in a relationship will only doom it.

[Prince Asbel]

I'm not a girl, but I have a few do's and don'ts to offer. This is more for fun than anything else though, so don't take it too seriously.

Don't adopt a hairstyle that looks greasy. Greasy hair is a big turn-off for lots of girls, and even if it isn't, if it looks that way, it will still turn them off.

Don't wear a T-Shirt with some saying on it like 'All the hot girls are MINE!' That alerts people in general that you're not being real serious about this.

Don't talk about very personal things like... Family quarrels, the yucky medical experience you had last week, or crude jokes. You want somebody to enjoy your closest company for life? Make sure they enjoy it from a reasonable distance.

DO act like a gentleman. Make a habit of doing things like holding doors open for girls, offering to help carry things. Girls notice these things and enjoy it. This improves your reputation, and friendships can grow deeper.

DO dress nicely at special occasions. This is where taking you seriously comes in. The more open displays you have of creating a serious-minded image of yourself in front of your friends, the more serious they will be with you if, say, you ask about dating.

Last, but not least, DO be yourself. If there's anything that can kill a relationship, it's someone who pretends to be someone they're not. Hold to your traits, desires, convictions, etc. with other people like you would with your own family. The more people know about you, the closer they feel to you.

[goldenspines]

*could go on and on about hair, clothes and shoes. But that hardly matters in this case*

When people say "be yourself", why do they say it? Because they want to be all inspirational film er -y? XD On the contrary, being yourself is simply not hiding away what God has created and trying to be something else.

Though, as mentioned above, good hygiene is important(it'll be hard to convince someone that you don't take showers because it's not "you" XD). And really, dress how you like. If you truly want to change your whole style, go check on Macy's catalogs or something and find something you like. Likewise for the hair; if you see a hairstyle that you like, take the pic to a hair stylist and ask it they can do it for you. Or, if the style's simple enough, you can do it yourself.
As for shoes, just wear whatever is comfortable. XD

Now, for a real "How to be attractive tip". The sure fire way to improve your attractiveness is to smile.

[Saj]

Honestly man, you shouldnt be worried about getting a girl, or being attractive. Women, unlike men, are not very visual at all when it comes to the opposite gender. I personally am a testament of that. I was with one of the most beautiful women ive ever seen(and known), and im fat and (in my opinion) not good looking at all. so being attractive is moot when it comes to women.

Women are empathic. They rely more on personality and feelings when they are seeking a mate. you have to be confident in yourself. and you have to sure of your self. They feed off of those things. And it comes down to primal instinct, a woman isnt going to like you if she doesnt feel that she is safe with you. and when i say safe i mean physically, are you going to protect her from harm? as well as in personality, are you confident? are you in charge?

all in all... are you a man?

Im not sure if anyone has said it yet, but if you stop trying to get a girl, and focus on god, he'll provide one for you. that is the most important thing you can do for your self. focus on the good lord, and when HE deems it time, he will provide you with an incredible woman.

there are earthly and spiritual things that happen when you focus on God and not on women, or trying to get one. Which on earth, makes them attracted to you. So focusing on God is Win Win.

I hope ive helpped a little. If you want to talk more dude, hit me on AIM: Oskiee23 Ive been in your shoes before, so i know how you feel and what your going through.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

For the rest maybe I could read some romance mangas and copy what the hot guys who get all the girls wear . . . and find my own style based upon what I learn?

... Uuhhhhhh... that might not be the best idea..

Your level of social aptitude and idea of fashion should not center around anime or manga... unless you're like at an anime convention or something.

[Etoh*the*Greato]

Know something that doesn't just attract women but also friends in general? Don't be hard on yourself! Appreciate who you are!! People can detect someone who hates or dislikes themselves immediately and for what ever reason people are immediately turned off or shunned by that.

Seriously, though, don't take Manga as a cue for what to do. Manga was created in a social/cultural environment completely different than our own.

[Puguni]

Seriously, though, don't take Manga as a cue for what to do. Manga was created in a social/cultural environment completely different than our own.

As in, a fantasy environment. As in, situations that rarely happen in real life. If you think about it, a lot of the things that guys do in manga would come off creepy in real life where there are personal boundaries.

I don't know. I think maintaining a relationship is too much of a hassle and lot of people go looking for relationships thinking about what they'll get out of it.