random thought and such- japan, long distant relationships, and more O_O

[king atlantis]

ok, so, i was going to make seprate threads for these thoughts, but decided against it.
first things first to discuss- i recently went to an international summit, and met allot of great people froma round the world. basically? i learned that no matter where you are from, were pretty much all the same.
-i also learned japanese girls can scream REALY high pitched, and when they talk japanese, they sound..well...japoanese.
but the girl im talking about, when she spoke english...no hint of an accent at all.
i noticed that with allot of people from other countries- when they spoke their own language, you could hear the accent very well, but when they spoke english, it was-if noticable at all- very sleight.
anyone else ever notice this? had international experiences?

on a second note- whats everyones thoughts on long-distance relationahips (say, one that will last about a year before the two were to meet again- not a permanant thing)

totally different subjects, but fit somehow niv=cly together. thoughts, comments,e tc welcome!
~King

[Etoh*the*Greato]

Me? I'd not suggest it. That's not to say it can't be done, but it's very difficult. Especially with the times you are speaking about. Physical closeness is an important part of any relationshp, and you'll notice that when you have the opportunity to hug and/or kiss and then *poof* she's gone. Something at least on this side of the pacific would honestly be easier.

[NekoChan_C]

I know next to nothing about international peoples... I've barely been out of my home state, let alone the country!! HOWEVER!!! I happen to know alot about LDR's (long distance relationships)... where to start...

okay. The first thing you need to consider is the living situations. If you fall in love, are either of you willing to move, and give up your established life for the prospect of romance. Otherwise, you will be setting yourself up for DISASTER (and no, I am NOT exaggerating! Try being head over heels in love with someone who will never be in your reach for more than a few days at a time. It is muderously hard.).

If the distance and moving is not an issue, then the next thing to remember is that, as with all relationships, the glamour only lasts so long.

People tend to put their best foot (or face) forward until they are no longer enamored with the new romance. Once that blind giddiness is over, you find that this person you long for isn't quite as perfect as you once thought. This can actually take longer to happen in an LDR, as you aren't as often exposed to the undesirable traits of their personality. But make no mistake, it does happen. And when it does, it will tax the relationship for the very fact that you AREN'T in a face to face romance, and it's easy to lose interest and move on to someone within your field of vision, so to speak.

If you can successfully navigate the stormy waters of the first fights, the disagreements and the lack of physical closeness (not intimacy! Merely proximity!) then you still must keep in mind that the person who you have fallen in love with over the phone/IM/email/etc... is not necessarily the same person you will be seeing in person, when you DO see them. Face to face is always different than the mere verbal connection from long distance.

I hope that answers some of your questions, and didn't scare you too much. In these days of digital community, it's very easy to meet someone special, even if they are a thousand miles away. Good luck and God bless.

Nekochan

[LadyRushia]

Everyone I talked to in China had an accent when they spoke English.

As for long distance relationships, I definitely hear about them failing more often than not, but I know of one or two couples who temporarily had long distance relationships and those ended up working out. I think whatever happens between two people is up to God. If He wants to use the internet or whatever to bring two people together, then that's His choice. He may use the distance between two people to test their love for each other and strengthen their faith. So, I think you should go to God about the long distance relationship and ask Him if it's in your best interest to pursue it.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

... Are you seriously asking a question as ridiculous as this? Are you on drugs or something? Every foreigner that learns English as a second language has an accent. Go take a trip to another country and this should be obvious to you. The reason why some people can speak two languages fluently is because they're bilingual. Just because they're Asian doesn't mean they were born and raised in Asia... Many Asians are born and raised in the United States. I can speak Korean with a Korean accent and speak English fluently. Since accents are a part of linguistics, it's a no-brainer that the more of a certain language you learn, the better you are at that accent. OMG CRAZY RITE?!!!!!!!!!!11111

And for the record, I'm personally against long distance relationships.

[ShiroiHikari]

Yeah dude, I'm not sure what you mean about the accents thing. XD; Most Japanese have a really thick accent in English.

I do not recommend long distance relationships, especially if you are very young (and by that I mean under 25). The stress and strain is enormous, and if it's going to be a year or more before you can be together all the time (or at least within a reasonable driving distance), I strongly advise against it.

[EricTheFred]

Ooookay, calm down guys.

As for me, I've found a wide spectrum out there. The clearest English from a non-English-speaking country that I've encountered is from Norway, Denmark and the Netherlands. Many such have sounded almost like native English speakers to me. When I've asked them, they all said the same thing. "We get TV from England."

On the other end of the spectrum would have to be a number of old guys I've met in small-town Louisiana (my brother-in-law was mayor of one such town for a while.) These fellows all grew up speaking Cajun French, and they saw absolutely no reason why they had to 'sound like Americans.' Almost completely unintelligible to me. More than once, I've had to ask my brother-in-law 'were those guys back there speaking English or French?'

So what's an accent, anyway? It's what you have when someone else has trouble understanding you. It's a matter of opinion.

[EricTheFred]

Posting separately because I'm on the other subject. Didn't want to bury this underneath the other.

Way back before the internets, before that web thing, or them emails (yeah, tell us about the old times, Grandpaw!) I had a long distance relationship. Letters written on good old fashioned paper, in fact. You see, my girlfriend lived in a place that didn't even have long-distance telephone.

I am not kidding. It isn't so long ago.

Twenty one years ago last February, we got married. We still are, with two wonderful sons and no regrets.

It ain't the distance, folks, it's the relationship. Never forget that.

[ClosetOtaku]

It ain't the distance, folks, it's the relationship. Never forget that.

Agreed. I maintained a two-year long-distance relationship where we saw each other maybe once every three or four months for a weekend. It can be done. But it doesn't work for everybody.

[king atlantis]

Posting separately because I'm on the other subject. Didn't want to bury this underneath the other.

Way back before the internets, before that web thing, or them emails (yeah, tell us about the old times, Grandpaw!) I had a long distance relationship. Letters written on good old fashioned paper, in fact. You see, my girlfriend lived in a place that didn't even have long-distance telephone.

I am not kidding. It isn't so long ago.

Twenty one years ago last February, we got married. We still are, with two wonderful sons and no regrets.

It ain't the distance, folks, it's the relationship. Never forget that.

yay hope :p
*no, its not some one from japan- and we both had allready planned on going to the same college (rofl)*




about the accent thing- idk, the south african accent and new zealand accent was pretty hard, but most of the others just...werent. it suprised me, thats all. i KNOW i have some form of an accent...but still.
the person(s) i was refering to were born and raised in their home countries- btw.
and for the records- inernational summits ROCK.

[NekoChan_C]

Posting separately because I'm on the other subject. Didn't want to bury this underneath the other.

Way back before the internets, before that web thing, or them emails (yeah, tell us about the old times, Grandpaw!) I had a long distance relationship. Letters written on good old fashioned paper, in fact. You see, my girlfriend lived in a place that didn't even have long-distance telephone.

I am not kidding. It isn't so long ago.

Twenty one years ago last February, we got married. We still are, with two wonderful sons and no regrets.

It ain't the distance, folks, it's the relationship. Never forget that.

You are the most awesome person ever. I applaud, salute and whole-heartedly congratulate your on marriage of all these years.

You are an inspiration!

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Then I guess the person you talked to had special lessons.

Most people in Japan (And every other Asian country) fail at speaking English anyway.

[blkmage]

I know a few people who are about my age and were born and raised in Hong Kong but don't have a noticeable accent because they attended an international school or something. As for me, my parents claim that I have an accent when I speak Cantonese, but I honestly can't hear it.

[Maledicte]

I didn't have a very good experience with a long-distance relationship. So I guess my general rule of thumb is if you're both living with your parents, you might want to rethink one.

[Etoh*the*Greato]

I'm not saying don't do it, or that it may not ever be worth the risk, but just evaluate the situation based on what you know of yourself and realize that the odds are stacked long against you. Part of what makes Eric's story so wonderful is the fact that he and his beat the odds.

[Kaligraphic]

Everyone has an accent, even in their native tongue. That's why you can tell the difference between a New Yorker, a Bostonion, and a Chicagoan, even though they all speak English and don't come from too far apart. Everywhere has an accent, you just don't notice your own because you're used to it.

In fact, you can have multiple accents simultaneously - or perhaps such a thing could be characterized as a hybrid accent. For instance, one could have an influence from their native tongue and region (say, Parisian French), and from a particular form of the language they are speaking (say, London English). This person would carry both Paris and London local influences, as well as the French language accent.

Accent also is heavily influenced by what you are hearing. If you are speaking to a lot of, say, upper-class Muscovite Russians, you'll pick up that accent, while speaking to the afore-mentioned Frenchman at length will have you picking up bits and pieces of his accent.

Accents are complex things, and cannot be completely eliminated. They can only be localized - adapted to imitate the accent of a given location. Thus, there is no such thing as an accent-free speaker of any language.




As far as long distance relationships go, I'd make the decision entirely on the basis of her accent.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Everyone has an accent, even in their native tongue. That's why you can tell the difference between a New Yorker, a Bostonion, and a Chicagoan, even though they all speak English and don't come from too far apart. Everywhere has an accent, you just don't notice your own because you're used to it.

In fact, you can have multiple accents simultaneously - or perhaps such a thing could be characterized as a hybrid accent. For instance, one could have an influence from their native tongue and region (say, Parisian French), and from a particular form of the language they are speaking (say, London English). This person would carry both Paris and London local influences, as well as the French language accent.

Accent also is heavily influenced by what you are hearing. If you are speaking to a lot of, say, upper-class Muscovite Russians, you'll pick up that accent, while speaking to the afore-mentioned Frenchman at length will have you picking up bits and pieces of his accent.

Accents are complex things, and cannot be completely eliminated. They can only be localized - adapted to imitate the accent of a given location. Thus, there is no such thing as an accent-free speaker of any language.

I love you, Kali.

[Tsukuyomi]

LDR are hard, even when within the same continent ^ ^;

Not saying ti wouldn't work, but.. it'll be very difficult to work towards. The biggest issue would be trust o.o

I'd suggest starting out with being friends first. You've only met her recently right? There's no need to rush things, King ^^

[Mave]

As far as my experiences go (having met many international students at university), it greatly helps me to guess where a person is from based on the way they speak English.

I will admit that it's harder for me to tell the differences between Americans, with the rare exception of the Texans. XD

You know, In a similar way, the way one speaks Mandarin also hints where one is from. As far as I have seen, they can easily tell if a Chinese is from Taiwan, Mainland China, Singapore and Malaysian by the way they speak Mandarin.

LDR? Well, didn't really work for me (3 years). In my case, it was pretty much what NekoChan said.

[Warrior4Christ]

about the accent thing- idk, the south african accent and new zealand accent was pretty hard, but most of the others just...werent. it suprised me, thats all. i KNOW i have some form of an accent...but still.
the person(s) i was refering to were born and raised in their home countries- btw.
and for the records- inernational summits ROCK.

Hard... hard to understand? 'Hard' as in strong accent? I can understand both South Africans (not when they speak Afrikaans) and New Zealanders...

Also, where was this international summit?

[EricTheFred]

I will admit that it's harder for me to tell the differences between Americans, with the rare exception of the Texans. XD

As distinctive as we Texans may be, I sometimes find it astonishing if someone says a New Yorker and a Californian sound alike to them. To me, they are as distinct as, say, a New Yorker and a Londoner.

I've heard this many times before, though. It's still mind-boggling to me.

I suppose it's just as mindboggling to a Brit when I tell them I can't tell the difference between different regions of England. I'm told they find these just as distinct.

Well, we can't all be Professor Higgins, I suppose.

In fact, you can have multiple accents simultaneously - or perhaps such a thing could be characterized as a hybrid accent. For instance, one could have an influence from their native tongue and region (say, Parisian French), and from a particular form of the language they are speaking (say, London English). This person would carry both Paris and London local influences, as well as the French language accent.

And you will switch around. Fellow Texans think I'm from elsewhere, due to the influences of my parents who came here from up North, but people from elsewhere think I sound Texan... except I rapidly lose the Texas when I'm in meetings or conferences, switching into something more like the American English spoken on TV (Canadians claim it's Canadian English, but the networks say they prefer Kansas or Nebraska dialects as the 'most neutral'.) Texas comes right back as soon as I start talking with locals again.

[Etoh*the*Greato]

I have a peculiar mix of accents. I'm just gonna throw in this anecdote to further the conversation. I've been raised in Missouri, but those who taught me to speak (my parents) come from Georgia and Colorado respectively. This, combined with a tendency towards good diction has lead to a strange situation in which at least once every three months I have a customer ask me if I'm Irish. Do I understand why? Nope. Even had a man who had just the week before spent three months in the place tell me I could easily blend in with the people there.


And no one in our family has set foot on that rock in almost 200 years.

[Ashley]

As for Accents:
I'm like Eric: I am a native Texan, but having spent some formative time up North, and among the nations, I have pretty much lost my accent. There's a few times when I'm really tired that it comes out, but I've been told multiple times that I don't sound like a Texan. I guess the bottom line is, accents are not a clear-cut thing.

As for LDR:
I am currently in a long-distance relationship, and I have been for the past 2+ years. I'd like to think I'm the voice of experience with this one.

First, it helps if you have had or are in other non-romantic long-distance relationships. Helps take the edge off.

Secondly, it is a LOT of work. The only way we have survived this long is because we're both willing to sacrifice a lot of time to make sure that we connect every day, and we go out of our way to make the time we spend together special. We spend time and money trying to see each other as often as we can. You also have to be excellent communicators. You have to be creative about finding new ways to spend your time far apart, otherwise you can easily get bored and plateau. All the normal things that are needed in a good relationship, like patience, understanding, sacrifice, and unfailing support are still needed; it's nothing less than that, but so much more. But we both knew from the beginning it was going to be this way.

Thirdly, like Eric said, it's the relationship that's at the heart of it. I don't think ours could have worked if we weren't so completely...hmm, I hate to say "compatible," but I can't think of a better word that sums it up.

Fourthly, it always helps me to have an "end goal" in mind. It's better if you can say for sure when you can stop being LDR, but in our case, we were both in school and so we had to focus on the next time we could see each other again. That gave me a sense of stability and something tangible I could look forward to.

Finally, be sensitive to how difficult it could be for her. You need to really be there to reassure her constantly, invest in her and connect with her, and be tender in the hard times that will come (like, when after your weekend together is over and you have to leave!).

BUT, all that being said, it can be done. It's not easy, and I wouldn't undertake it lightly, but it can definitely be done. I think we're well on our way to being an LDR success story.

[NekoChan_C]

[quote="Ashley (post: 1245677)"]As for Accents:
I'm like Eric: I am a native Texan, but having spent some formative time up North, and among the nations, I have pretty much lost my accent. There's a few times when I'm really tired that it comes out, but I've been told multiple times that I don't sound like a Texan. I guess the bottom line is, accents are not a clear-cut thing.

As for LDR:
I am currently in a long-distance relationship, and I have been for the past 2+ years. I'd like to think I'm the voice of experience with this one.

First, it helps if you have had or are in other non-romantic long-distance relationships. Helps take the edge off.

Secondly, it is a LOT of work. The only way we have survived this long is because we're both willing to sacrifice a lot of time to make sure that we connect every day, and we go out of our way to make the time we spend together special. We spend time and money trying to see each other as often as we can. You also have to be excellent communicators. You have to be creative about finding new ways to spend your time far apart, otherwise you can easily get bored and plateau. All the normal things that are needed in a good relationship, like patience, understanding, sacrifice, and unfailing support are still needed]

Ashley, I applaud you in your approach. I sincerely wish I had entered into my LDR with the same wisdom that you did, perhaps Ichi and I wouldn’t have been so… unbalanced as we were.

I also agree whole-heartedly with all you have said. It has never been a conscious thing for me, but devoting as much time to connecting as possible is an absolute must, especially since you two are essentially living separate lives and most things tend to happen outside the sphere of your partner’s experience.

Congratulations of being an LDR success story… I sincerely hope that Ichi and I can say the same one day.

Neko

[randomuser83]

I currently work in a large company that deals with a Chinese company and when I talk to them they have little to no accent as well. I found this very interesting because when I went over there no one spoke english at all. Its hard to hit on chicks when you cant speak their language. I guess a LDR isnt going to happen for me but grats on the working relationship because a regualr relationship is hard.

[Etoh*the*Greato]

It can also depend on what brand of English they've been taught. When you learn spanish you are ususally learning the mexican dialects of spanish and when you learn french you are often learning quebeque french. It's not too far to say that much english taught over seas might be that sort of bland middle-america english that melts all the accents together. My best friend Dan is currently involved very heavily with a Canadian girl by way of Toronto. He met her grandparents recently and they commented that he actually had no accent which is I think the accent of middle-america.

[king atlantis]

Hard... hard to understand? 'Hard' as in strong accent? I can understand both South Africans (not when they speak Afrikaans) and New Zealanders...

Also, where was this international summit?

no offense, but id rather not say....i dont enjoy people on line knowing certain bits of info

'hard' as in the accent made it hard for meto understand them lol.

the accent of middle america? im not so sure- ive met some people from 'middle america' that have a...certain accent. but i can see where your coming from.
considering everywhere i lived when i was little, i have a confusing accent. some people say i sound british, while others say i sound like im from the south...but then others say i have non at all.
i think it depends on how tired i am and when i start to slip up or something (lol)....

but no, i just think the whole accent thing is an intresting...ummm...thing (for lack of better word). it...intregued me.