In 10 years from now.....

[Omega Amen]

UC: will discover that he and Omega Amen are twins seperated at birth and together will form a Mennonite fraternity at the University of Kansas at Topeka. There, UC will turn out to be an all star football reciever, and go on to play in the NFL. OA will get his PhD. at an unheard of amount of time and lecture in theoretical quantum mechanics.

Ashley, I must say that gave me a good hearty chuckle, and I thought it was clever and your post is one of my favorites in this thread. I also realize that everybody is having fun putting down really wild and unlikely predictions. However, since I am still (slowly) working on my Who's Who Thread and have yet to introduce myself fully, I feel that it is, to borrow uc pseudonym's phrase, "absolutely essential" to correct a few points in your prediction, and then to make my post on-topic, I will take this corrected version and elaborate on your prediction (completing the corrected story if you will). Don't worry, it is still wild and highly unlikely. (Use at least Omega, not OA. I do not have a problem with OA, but I cannot search for "OA" here.)

Corrections: I am an only child. I seriously doubt I will ever be a Mennonite. No offense frat people but I am a loner and therefore do not like the fraternity life (even if it is a Christian frat). Kansas is a good school, but I do not remember a high-caliber computer engineering program being there. I do not desire a PhD, but if I do get one I think I am more likely to lecture on theoretical quantum computing since I am a computer engineer, not a physicist. (Quantum computing uses "qubits," quantum states from an atom/photon, to correspond to the values '0' and '1'. Unlike regular digital bits from CMOS VLSI technology, qubits supposedly can be in a combination or superposition of '0' or '1.' This leads to some interesting calculations/possibilities... and that is all I know about it.)

Okay, Ashley... remember I sincerely respect you. I am just attempting to have a little fun with the material you just presented here. That is all.

Ashley: In Reliant Stadium, where the Super Bowl is taking place, Ashley is in the stands cheering Houston's comeback drive in the final seconds. Houston is down by 5 points, but their star receiver "uc pseudonym" (the press cannot find out his real name) has single-handedly made his team march down the field with his spectacular one-hand catches. In the red zone, uc pseudonym was able to grab the winning touchdown pass while gracefully avoiding the strong safety's attempted tackle. At that point, uc pseudonym did his trademark "celebration": calmly looked into the strong safety's eyes, say "Feh," and spiked the ball nonchalantly. (Reebok made some lucrative commercial deals over this "celebration.") Suddenly, at this time, Ashley experienced an epiphany.... *Cues theme music from "A Beautiful Mind."* After attending a guest lecture in Univ. of Houston by Omega Amen on the importance of math (after he debated with ECE UTexas-Austin profs over the validity of theoretical quantum computing), Ashley was wondering over certain patterns of phrases used by the trolls of the CAA in the past. At the Super Bowl, math suddenly became... clear to Ashley (especially multiplication) and thus Ashley turned into an absolute prodigy. She then created the "Ash-has-gotta-catch-em-all" algorithm (a troll seek-and-destroy algorithm) which made her an instant celebrity in the academic community and caused all the major magazines to have her picture on their front pages. (Their articles about her were actually written by Ashley herself... since she is clearly the superior journalist.) With such fame and respect from the international community, the CAA was also thrusted into the spotlight, causing it to be the largest and most powerful anime organization in the world. At this point, CAA has a series of conventions held in various parts of the world... leading to the annual New Year's convention in Tokyo, Japan, where the Japan's emperor always personally greets Ashley.

The only problem then Ashley has at this point in her life is that she will have to constantly refuse masses of Christian fanboys pleading their proposals of marriage.

So how was that? *grins at Ashley.*

Hey, this is fun.

[uc pseudonym]

Good work, bro. And furthermore: feh.

A question, however: how has the phrase "absolutely essential" come into my possesion?

I'm actually not that bad off from all our predications. I am playing football, which I hate, but I'm also involved with CAA and not dead (with cannot be said of everyone).

[DrNic]

Ok, here we go, I got some:

Ronin Of Kirai: Manages to answer so many questions that theres nothing else to ask. Thus begins a downward slide in TV ratings for gameshows. Goes on to become a human library with the biggest manga section on the planet!

Shatterheart: Has a mental brake down when he realises hes seen EVERY HORROR FILM EVER! Frantically tries to direct his own movie which results in millions having to change there underwear after seeing it.

Skynes Has major surgery which, as a result, creates a being known as THE REAL MEGAMAN! Spends the next ten years protecting the planet from terrorists and becomes a national hero. The USA adopt the Megaman theme tune as their national anthem.

DrNic Spends the next 20 years trying to get Kurt Cobain to tell him the secret of his success. He the points out that he has a gigantic bullet hole in the side of his head. Has a wrestling match with Tupac while Elvis continues to write his latest album "Are you dead tonight?"

OOC: Great idea for a thread Link!

[andyroo]

Heh. A few are those are pretty funny... very funny. Link, Ashley, and Shatterheart's I've liked the most so far.

[Solid Ronin]

Ok, here we go, I got some:

Ronin Of Kirai: Manages to answer so many questions that theres nothing else to ask. Thus begins a downward slide in TV ratings for gameshows. Goes on to become a human library with the biggest manga section on the planet!

How do you know my plan for life?


Master Uc pseudonym : Will leave C.A.A. because of his football career leaving his pupil ,Ronin of kirai, the title Uc pseudonym.

cbwing0 : Will be involed in a fight of which he didnt even mean to get into. While fighting he will uses the Shoryuken technique to defend himself turning him into a real life Ryu.

Sangoku Will create a story for a game that is so amazing Squre Enix Cube (formerly known as Squre Enix) will buy it making it into a Final Fantasy game (with cool character design).

[Gypsy]

Gyppers will settle down

I don't recall giving you permission to use this nickname.

[Solid Ronin]

I don't recall giving you permission to use this nickname.

please dont burninate us

[Omega Amen]

A question, however: how has the phrase "absolutely essential" come into my possesion?

You used that phrase in a post in the Bishoujo Pic Thread. For some reason, I do not recall ever seeing/hearing that phrase before, and thus, in my mind, that phrase became yours. All I was really doing in that sentence is to give credit for a phrase which does not belong to me. Technically, you do not really own that phrase.

You know what? I have got some spare time. I am going to finish what I started with my Ashley prediction by filling out uc pseudonym's story... and I will do my story. I usually do not like to write about myself, but this is for good fun. Also, these predictions are even more wild and unlikely when compared with what I gave to Ashley.

uc pseudonym: It has been five hours... and uc pseudonym still cannot stand the Penguin Bashing game in the CAA arcade. He is not certain as to why he has been playing this stupid game for so long.... This is ridiculous... the CAA deserves a better game than this. (At this point, for an unknown reason, uc pseudonym's hair grows a bit and a silver color starts developing near the roots....) Thus, he quits playing and decides to go outside to play... oh, how about football? Frankly, uc pseudonym was still not amused, and found out he hates the sport... but at the same time, he notices that he has acquired great strength, speed, and other athletic abilities and an uncanny sense of the game (his hair becomes longer and has more silver color, his eyes start to turn clear blue). At this point, an idea... a whim really formed in his mind.... In order to execute his plan, he quickly became an all-american football receiver at Kansas and left early for the NFL and was drafted by the Houston Texans. In that same season, All-Pro uc pseudonym acquired massive amounts of wealth through Reebok merchandise deals (called the "Feh" series: shirts, heavy jackets, and shoes... all black with a white "Feh" logo... really popular). And, he basically turned the Houston Texans into a great team playing in the Super Bowl. Before the game, he was walking in the Univ. of Houston campus wearing his famous black "Feh" cape (and he now has very long silver hair... and no more facial hair). He ran into Omega Amen, just done with his guest lecture. uc pseudonym then gave Omega a proposal on a virtual reality network system for entertainment purposes. Omega remembers an abandoned and now unclassified quantum computing system used for such purposes in the Dept. of Defense, and thus they came to an understanding: uc pseudonym provides the capital, Omega works on the project.

After uc pseudonym gets his bonus for winning Super Bowl MVP honors, he quits the game and starts his online virtual reality game company "uncreative" and places his first product on the CAA (who is now the most powerful anime organization on the planet) called "The Fall," an absorbing virtual reality game where a player plays as Sephros, an angel warrior. Quickly, "uncreative" becomes the largest gaming company in the planet and dominates the Japan market. uc pseudonym now is on the cover of every business magazine.

The only problem uc pseudonym has at this point in his life is that he has to constantly deal with masses of Christian fangirls chanting the rhyme "uc is our bishie!" and refuse their proposals for marriage. But that's okay, he has a new hobby. Every night, he looks into his telescope and starts tracking... meteors....

Well, I will give my story (the conclusion) later....

[inkhana]

Inkhana: will become a professional light-brite artist, but eventually will go crazy because it is impossible to make a strait line.

...It's like he knows me...O.O

LOL, great stuff, Link! More! More!

(BTW, how did I miss this thread? People are asking me why I'm laughing so hard...XD)

[Saint Kevin]

ROFL, great thread. Maybe I'll write something...later. That should be my catch phrase, lol.

[Link Antilles]

Thanks for the feedback guys 'n gals! Also, very nice work everyone on your own ones! Keep 'em coming!

You sure are good at this Link. Do you do any other writing with all this creativity?

Actually, this is the first time I tried something like this.... I plan to try more... this has been a blast!

...It's like he knows me...O.O

LOL, great stuff, Link! More! More!

HAHA! I knew you'd like that one.

I'm working on some more..... I've got some ideas I need to polish.

Til' then enjoy these....

JediSonic: After finding Darth Rendar's dog (therefore obtaining a lightsaber) and lacking sleep from playing in the CAA arcade still, JediSonic will stumble into a crowded mall, take several people hostage and demand to see the presidents of the top five game deveoplers. When they finally arrive, he shall then present to them a list of games that he wants developed for the Dreamcast. When they are about to give into his demands, Emperor Bill drops a bomb on the mall, thus destroying any chance of this happening and reinforcing his cold clammy death grip on the gaming industry. He wait at home plotting his next move, of choice while at a CAA arcade.

Deveploment: His mummified remains are found in the Who’s Who Forum. Crime scene investigators say that he's been there for ten years and three months. A, "yoda soda" and the crisper drawer is found near the remains.

[The_Marauding_Maniac]

Arch Angel: Finds a princess tomb somewhere that says "Blade & Rame" On in.
Talyra: Becomes famous.

[Ashley]

Omega, yours about me was quite humerous...I laughed pretty hard. I'll have to come visit you and tell you so personally when I finally get that personal airline--which will NOT EVER stop in Cincinnati. Ever. But first I apparhently need to kick some unmentionables...bwahahaha. (ROFL @ Shatterheart's predictions, by the way...those were beyond awesome)

[Htom Sirveaux]

Righteous Slave will have gone totally mute due to shredding the heck out of his vocal chords over the course of a career as frontman of a Christian screamcore band. Consequently, he'll officially make losing your voice cool as it will be a sign of ultimate hardcoreness.

CobaltAngel will receive worldwide recognition for her excellent art skills. This will be the turning point that finally makes people realize that pictures of soup cans and random, colorful paint blotches should not be considered real art.

[EireWolf]

True_Noir_Chloe and Mave will be world-renowned coproducers of spectacular manga. They will both be knighted in Japan. (By then, the hip new Emperor will be knighting people because hey! it's cool to be a knight.)

Iesu_no_Senshi aka Mimichan will be a greatly adored author of fantasy novels. She will also teach a course in High Dragon at Oxford.

Eirewolf will be a famous sculptor of strange little potbellied creatures. Oldphilosopher will find a way to install perpetual animatronics, rendering the creatures almost completely lifelike. Eirewolf and Oldphil become the first creators of custom fantasy pets in the world, and enjoy a thriving existence in a utopia of their own design... until something goes horribly wrong. The creatures somehow develop little personalities, and become feisty and destructive little stinkers. Lawsuits ensue, and Eirewolf and Oldphil are forced to flee the country. They live out the rest of their days resigned to their fate, in the recently seceded nation of Texas.


Well, at least the first two were realistic!

[uc pseudonym]

I loved your most recent, Omega Amen; thank you also for mentioning The Fall. Such humor is absolutely essential.

This morning I woke up too early, vaguely remembered this thread and decided it might be enjoyable to attempt to contribute. I made an effort to be brief and cover a high number of people. Here are mine, anyway:

LorentzForce ...discovers his true passion lies in the ethanol industry. He moves to Iowa and soon becomes the JD Rockefeller of corn.

shooraijin ...gets into politics in California and wins several different elections (at the same time) by a landslide. This earns him the title "The Shoobinator"

Omega Amen ...begins using invented contractions, poor grammar and slag; refers to everyone he addresses as "dog" or "ma homie" in some situations. Legally changes his name to Cid.

cbwing0 ...becomes spiritually uncertain and converts to every major religion on the planet. Still unfulfilled, he creates his own religion which cannot be mentioned here but involved zucchini. He eventually settles as a traditional Zulu warrior and lives happily ever after.

eirewolf ...voluntarily is a participant in an experiment involving a rubber band, mints and a particle generator. Somehow in this process she becomes an actual wolf. She runs around yipping and biting things, but still manages to type on CAA.

oldphilosopher ...doesn't notice anything different.

most of CAA ...doesn't either.

Straylight ...changes his username to Straynoz. He visits the moderators living in California and somehow becomes the governor of the state. He and the Shoobinator becomes an unstoppable duo. They run for president and would have dominated, until someone pointed out that they legally can't even run.

ShiroiHikari ...becomes a singing sensation that sweeps across the nation, but eventually comes to dominate the Japanese pop music industry. She uses her vast fortune to buy her hbome state.

Psycho Ann ...is placed in an asylum due to her common pen name. Even using only her toes, she still draws far better than me.

Little T-Chan ...starts wearing excessive amounts of leather, riding Harley Davidsons, smoking and cage wrestling in her spare time.

Technomancer ...spends fourteen days without sleep writing a thesis. He is continually distracted by arguments with random CAA members. Eventually collapsing due to exhaustion, he wakes to find he is the Prime Minister of Turkmenistan.

Shinobi_Nick ...points out there is no Prime Minister of Turkmenistan and is again banned. Several times.

Bill Gates ...joins CAA after his house is burned by Linux users. Becomes addicted to the Doors 2010 OS.

Heaven's Cloud ...changes his avatar 200 times in 60 seconds, breaking several records and his mouse. Still is not nominated for the avatar changing contest.

Michael ...uses his time away from CAA to push every liberal agenda in existance. (In all seriousness, go with God, brother)

Gypsy ...tragically dies a solemn and tear-filled death at a tender young age due to her terrible addiction to "snorking CheezIts up her nose."

JediSonic ...loses his place on the high scores lists and commits ritual suicide.

Volt ...pretends to leave CAA and then "cleverly" comes back as "Tlov."

Alucard ...vows to hunt down Volt and shoot him.

Inkhana ...becomes involved in the film production industry and creates a classic version of "Merry Poppins."

Lightbringer ...devotes his life to perfecting a Wile E. Cyote impersonation. Attains flawless perfection three years later and is immediately killed by several anvils.

Shatterheart ...gets severely annoyed by endless comments about his liking of horror movies and with reluctance develops another personality trait.

Link Antilles's ...predictions are written down. This book is later found and used in extremely small portions and generally twisted to fortell the future. He is declared as the world's greatest Seer.

uc pseudonym (three years later) ...finally succumbs to endless inane comments regarding his avatar, dons armor, gets a massive katana, grows silver hair and destroys the world.

[Lightbringer]

first im starting a dojo, then im takeing over canada, now im getting killed by anvils........ im not sure about you people........

Shatterheart After his mental breakdown and movie carear. Shatterheart being lonely becomes a bank robber, in an attempt to get enough money to get his body covered in Tattoos of all his favorite horror movie villians. But this simply serves to drive him further from sosciaty, as he's chased from every town and city. Because of the habbit of walking up to large groups of people and asking if anybody wants to see the Freddy Kruger on his belly dance.

Lightbringer // Aaron

[kaji]

Old P: 10 years from now, Old P wakes from one of this usual “cat napsâ€

[Stephen]

Man...I am gonna get all the ladies now....look at my dancing freddy!

*does weird hula dance*

[Rachel]

Icarus: realizes that he is the cause of convoy's failure to take over the world and gives up his job teaching quantum physics at MIT to become her head slave dude that whips all the other slaves while they are busy building convoy a particle accelerator and a mini mcdonald's.

cbwing0: after he is fired from the m&m factory for throwing out all the w's, he realizes his life long goal of being a truck driver and drives across the country delivering free candy to all the people in need.

Ashley: after getting food poisoning from eating a mini big mac at convoy's mini mcdonald's, she swears off meat and becomes a pilates instructor who holds classes on the median by 277. unfortunately, she is soon run over by cbwing0 in his 18 wheeler because he was eating m&m's and was not watching where he was going.

...and now for me: after my mini mcdonald's is shut down by the health department after they find a chicken brain in the apple pies, i decide to change my plan to take over the world and i go back to college and get my masters in psychology and english. then, after most of my contemporaries are dead at the hands of my secret police, i take over harvard. that's the key to ruling the world my friends... ya gotta start small.

[TwilightKissC3]

SpiritWolf after already fulfilling her dream to tour the World (Europe with me of course;) ) Spirit is living in Japan and loves all of the animals she takes care of in her Vet Hospital. and on weekends me and her get together to sing kareoke(cant spell) and eat rice balls. yummm!!!

[Shinja]

Myself one can only hope.

[Omega Amen]

uc pseudonym, I really had a good laugh with your predictions about Little T-chan and myself.

Alright, here is my attempt to make a wild and unlikely prediction about my future. I must admit this was the hardest to create since I usually cannot discover what other people think is humorous about me. Thus, my story is along the "weird and bizarre journey" category. For those who have not been following, this is the conclusion of an impromptu mini-trilogy of predictions focusing on Ashley, uc pseudonym, and now myself.

Omega Amen: Within the next 10 years, Omega Amen will have acheived his dream of marrying a beautiful woman to start a family and help some good people achieve their dreams through his work (while avoiding the spotlight of attention). However, the path he stumbled through to acheive this dream was odd....

Being somewhat of an overly serious, stressed, and scrutinizing loner, Omega Amen decides to work for the Dept. of Defense (DoD) as a computer engineer specializing in computer/information security. Completing his PhD quickly, Omega Amen then proceeds to work on the 1000th DoD project, where things got out of hand.... Working on this classified project testing his virtual reality network system, Omega decides loading up 3D representations of the 1000 pictures from the Bishoujo Pic Thread would be a "pretty" good test. However, DoD supervisors sees this as a sign of Omega Amen's mental breakdown caused partially by his inept social behavior. (He has accumulated 999 consecutive date refusals from women.) The DoD stops and declassifies Omega Amen's research, but given his service record, he is now assigned to go on a college speaking tour talking about the importance of math (and hopefully also "lighten up" and "get a grip" on things in life).

Omega Amen becomes quickly depressed, seeing that the DoD does not understand the importance of "defending woman's beauty" in national defense policy, and that he is now bombarded only with math angst students on his speaking tour. After his 999th lecture, Omega is sitting in a college cafeteria staring blankly at a table when all of sudden... a plate of tofu appears? He looks up to see a woman dressed in a magical schoolgirl costume called Mave who is a Food Scientist and happily claims that eating this tofu will bring him good fortune. After eating 1000 samples of "Mave's Marvelous Tofu," Omega experiences strange visions of "the soybean rainbow," a mood lift, lower blood pressure, a handsome sculpted body, and a renewed sense of purpose. Thanking Mave, Omega proceded to go to his 1000th lecture at the Univ. of Houston (where Ashley plans to make a math angst rally).

After giving his best lecture ever, he meets the superstar athlete uc pseudonym who is strangely spied on by 1000 women as he proposes to Omega on a online game project using his unclassified virtual reality network system. When Omega asks why an athlete would propose this, he sees a strange green glow in uc pseudonym's eyes as he mutters how "all two-mouse click penguin games should be eradicated." Seeing a noble goal, Omega agrees to work on the project, which becomes successful quickly and thus allow him to make business trips to Japan being a technical spokesperson for "uncreative." On his 1000th trip, he goes to the 1000th CAA convention in Tokyo. While eating "Mave's Marvelous Tofu" (which by then is a dominant corporate tofu empire), he meets a gorgeous woman, and by the power of "the soybean rainbow," on his 1000th try, he has a successful date.

This eventually leads to the successful marriage that Omega Amen always dreamed about.

..... Meh. I tried. I guess work is starting to press on my mind.

Either way, I really like this thread since it has helped me "lighten up" a bit.

[Aka-chan]

This is a great thread! I've really enjoyed reading everyone's predictions and laughing my head off.

Kokoro Daisuke has become a brilliantly famous poet/writer, which leads to her being swamped by amateur writers wanting her to red pen-ize their work. She can also spontaneously speak in flawless iambic pentameter. She uses her copious amounts of money to buy truckloads of nikuman for -- rumor has it -- a "perpetually eating bakasaru." Only a few die-hard Saiyuki fangirls believe them and attempt to infiltrate Kokoro Daisuke's mansion, but go missing, forcing Kokoro to call in the famous detective Loki Ragnarok. It gets more complicated, but my attention span is too short to recite it all.

Iapetus becomes queen of the Rave screencaps and manages to get the rights to various bishounen, including Genjo Sanzo and Sieghart. Masses of fangirls are greatly relieved when she agreed to share, and Sieghart is catapulted to inconceivable fame when Iapetus complaines that not enough people know about and appreciate him.

Aka-chan still has not figured out how to use a computer to properly color a picture, but has exhausted several large boxes of colored pencils.

Or something like that...

[Gypsy]

Little T-Chan ...starts wearing excessive amounts of leather, riding Harley Davidsons, smoking and cage wrestling in her spare time.

I am so glad I wasn't drinking when I read that one. What a riot!

[uc pseudonym]

I'm glad you thought so. Personally, I nearly did spit out the liquid in my mouth when the phrase "snorking Cheezits" first occured to me.

Good work, Omega Amen. There's some sort of common thread in the story, but I just can't seem to figure it out...

[kaji]

Inferno:
Can still be found in the library’s computer room at his elementary school, trolling the halls of CAA for any clue as to who is real father is.

Inferno’s Father:
Desperately trying to still be an indirect part of his son’s life; infernos father has joined his son’s college badminton team under the alias, “Shuttlecock Steve.â€

[Knives]

Im not very good at writing *starts bawling*
here goes
JediSonic is recruited by Microsoft to do game programming. After almost 100 succesful games made by JS Bill Gates decides its about time he passed down the company to JS. So JS becomes a multi millionare. 3 days after getting all the money disaster strikes. JS's bag of money is struck by lightning and turns into a bannana peel.
Inkhana becomes a world famous christian mangaka. She even changes her name to a japanese name so it would be more "authentic".

[Link Antilles]

That's awesome stuff UC and Omega Amen! I almost fell out of my chair a few times. Keep 'em coming people!

A few more from me:

Psycho Ann: Sick of being thought of as crazy, Ann changes her name to Rational Ann. The ramifications of this change are horrible and cause all the websites devoted to Psycho Ann that her fans put up to go under. Half of the Psycho Ann followers are thrown into apostasy.

Zilch: will win $10.000,- in America's funniest Video with a Video of his sister flying of a DDR mat. Then Gyspy finds out and he discovers she is not at the least happy, in fear of his life… he flees to Tibet. After a brief stint as a Tibetan medicine man, he shall return to the states to live out the rest of his life as a Midwestern farmer.

The MelodyMaker: Five years beforehand he is steadfastly working on his game, until he disappears after pulling an all-nighter playing the newest Ham-Ham game of the time.

Techomancer: Valiantly defends Canada, but will lose when MelodyMaker and his evil dancing hamsters pull a beach assault from Nova Scotia.

Darth Rendar: still confused, will become a Jawa rights activist, as well as a salesman for Yoda Cola. His sales pitch will be that (unlike himself) most jawas do not get good nutrition, therefore stunting their growth. And by drinking Yoda Cola, they will get 100% percent of their daily midichlorians, a well as a lot a caffine.

The Over-posters of CAA: Now we are hardened commandos trained in the ways of sitting in front of computers, staring at the little pixels, and having a name for each one. Such as #2345769...that one is George...

Random Victim….
The Count: goes senile and can't remember which number comes after two.


Now for some trolls…. :p
Hacker: will be working at a munitions plant as a safety inspector in Iran.
Troll: will turn 18

I'm spent on ideas right now...

[Gypsy]

I'm glad you thought so. Personally, I nearly did spit out the liquid in my mouth when the phrase "snorking Cheezits" first occured to me.

Well, notice how I didn't jump to deny that I've never stuck chips up my nose ...