GeneD's poetry and other random writings.

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Postby GeneD » Tue May 20, 2008 8:45 am

Hana Ryuuzaki (post: 1226569) wrote:[font="palatino linotype"]*sighs* I quite admire morbid poetry!

^__^
I'm trying to decipher what the first poem's about, but my mind's done been a'sploded.[/bad grammar][/font]
I'll have to try and write some more for you then Hana-chan. :thumb:

The first poem sort of started as a "String of Words 2" and in the ending stanza is a lot more "String of Words-ish" than the rest. Who knows I might work on it and change it to be what it was going to be.

I wonder if anyone else feels the same way, but I am usually quite loath to change a poem once I've finished it. That’]

Old Age

I sit on life’s road and wait
and get to you often sooner that late.
I bend your back and slow your pace
I am ever an incurable case.

Your skin I will wrinkle
from you eye, steal its twinkle.
Day or night I never rest
the long expected, but unwelcome guest.

Even the thought of me distresses you so,
but who am I really, do you know?

[I]Hana-chan's comment about her mind a'sploding somehow inspired this poem, other than that I don't really know where it came from. I'm not 100% happy with the end though. Sorry if it's a bit gross.


Lunch

Pickle my mind
Chew off my finger
Stew it all together
With some chilli and some ginger.

Serve me up
Have all of me
On the inside, of you
A part I will be.

Hello hello
From inside your head
I’m glad I could help
I hope you are fed.

I’m all gone now
Every last bit.
You walk away smiling
In your body, now always I sit.
I don't know what broke to make you like this, but I must be broken too if I'm standing here praising your destructiveness. -Rock (Black Lagoon)

As I had encountered kindness, I wanted to be kind myself. -Takashi Natsume (Natsume's Book of Friends)

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Postby Hana Ryuuzaki » Tue May 20, 2008 3:42 pm

[font="palatino Linotype"]AH! I LOVE THE LUNCH ONE!!!

>XD
Me loves ginger...O__O[/font]
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Postby Lilac#18 » Fri May 23, 2008 1:05 pm

You're good.:thumb:I really like these two the most.:)



Cold Eyes

Sour water burned his lungs. Hair and weeds danced before
his eyes… cold eyes. A strong hand hit his back.
Bubbles… life escaping. He breathed water.
She released him, mercifully… Her wet body dragged itself to shore.
Cold eyes watching him into darkness. Lifeless body drifting down the river.
Cold eyes following…


AM

I am who I am
behind the reputation.
I am who I am
beneath prescheduled prejudice.
I am who I am
when you don’t know me.

Don’t look through me
like I’m made of glass.
Lest I be made of glass
and I break and fall.

Don’t walk by me
like I’m not there.
Lest the wind blow through me
and I disappear.

Option 1
Don’t darken your mind
like you’ve forgotten about me.
Lest my mind falls to night
and I forget myself.

Option 2
Don’t forget about me.
like I never drew breath
Lest I forget to breathe
Never life, never death.

I am who I am
reputation and all.
I am who I am
prejudice or not.
I am who I am
And that’s how you’ll know me.
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Postby GeneD » Sat May 31, 2008 6:41 am

Thanks Hana and Lilac. Lilac, since you liked AM, can you tell me which option of stanza 3 you like the best? Much appreciated.

Okay, here's the new stuff, all written in the last few days. For some reason I’m writing a lot of depressing poetry lately. I wonder if my brain is trying to tell me something. *shrug -goes off to see a shrink*


Subtraction

The more I have
The less I smile.
The more you go
The less I cry.
The more I see
The less I feel.
The more I know
The less I dream.
The more I think
The less I am.


This one doesn't have a title yet, so if anyone has any ideas...

Taste my infected tears,
as you turn away from me.
The darkness comes swiftly

As I recall.

Smile bitter goodbyes,
to all we said we’d be.
The darkness comes swiftly

As I fall.



Unknown

I am unknown to the world.
Why should they look my way?
Ignorant crystal that I am,
unheard in what I say.

I am unknown to the world.
What importance have I?
No proof of who I am,
my existence is a lie.

I am unknown to the world.
Where would you search for me?
Ghost of thought is what I am,
that is all you want to see.

I am unknown to the world.
Who’ll hear me when I call?
I know not why I am,
I am none, that is all.
I don't know what broke to make you like this, but I must be broken too if I'm standing here praising your destructiveness. -Rock (Black Lagoon)

As I had encountered kindness, I wanted to be kind myself. -Takashi Natsume (Natsume's Book of Friends)

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Postby Hana Ryuuzaki » Sat May 31, 2008 9:51 am

[font="palatino Linotype"]Hmm....Man, the Unknown poem is kinda the way I feel, actually.

But, a name for the second one would be...Veritas.

Veritas is the Latin word for Truth.

VERY good poems.[/font]
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Postby MBlight » Sun Jun 01, 2008 12:25 am

Sniff sniff *wipes tear from eye* I still love you my "Ghost of Thought" friend!!!

They're really cool... just one question... Where on earth do you find the time!?!

No worries though, I'm really impressed, these last few are really good! You're so cool!
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Postby MBlight » Sun Jun 01, 2008 12:31 am

BTW, for that poem with the two options for paragraph 3, I like the sound and rythm of the second option a slight bit more, and agree with Hana for the name of your nameless poem. Veritas is cool, what could also be cool though is if you can find some one to translate "Dark Truth" and make that the name... I think that would be fitting...
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Postby GeneD » Sun Jun 01, 2008 1:29 pm

Thanks for the comments guys.

Hana-chan, I'm sure Unknown is kinda the way everyone feels sometime in their lives, but I'm glad you got something out of my poem.

MB, I'm not sure where I find the time. I use in-between time or this-poem-is-bugging-me-so-that-I-can't-study-properly-until-I-finish-it time. The latter was definitely the case with Unknown.

I'll look into the suggestions you guys gave for the title, thanks.
I don't know what broke to make you like this, but I must be broken too if I'm standing here praising your destructiveness. -Rock (Black Lagoon)

As I had encountered kindness, I wanted to be kind myself. -Takashi Natsume (Natsume's Book of Friends)

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Postby Lilac#18 » Thu Jun 05, 2008 9:06 pm

[quote="GeneD (post: 1231583)"][I] Lilac, since you liked AM, can you tell me which option of stanza 3 you like the best? Much appreciated.


I like,

Don’t look through me
like I’m made of glass.
Lest I be made of glass
and I break and fall.

The most.
FKA Selenite
B careful of bad habits u form when ur single. In most cases u'll carry them over into ur marriage! - Damita Haddon

"Apparently, it takes more than just the sword." - Mirai (Future) Trunks

24When you lie down, you shall not be afraid; yes, you shall lie down, and your sleep shall be sweet. Proverbs 3:24 AMP

@)}~`,~ Carry This Rose In Your Sig, As Thanks, To All The CAA Moderators.

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