The Bail

Unleash your creative writing skills here.

The Bail

Postby RidleyofZebes » Mon May 12, 2008 9:06 am

Alex sat on a nearby bench while his friend, Terry, skated around the park with an air reminiscent of Bam Margera. He wheeled up to Alex with a look on his face that proclaimed 'new stunt idea'.

"What's up?" Alex asked in anticipation.

"See the stairs over there?" He said, motioning towards a small set of steps leading down towards the fountain in the center of the park. "I'm gonna see if I can ollie 'em. C'mon over so you can get a good look."

Alex quickly stood to his feet and jogged in the direction of the steps. He stood in the grass and watched as Terry skidded into position.

"All right! Ready, man?" Terry called to Alex.

"Yeah!" Alex called back, "Let's see it!"

Terry nodded his recognition and shoved off. He picked up speed as he got closer to the short flight. Then he jumped.

There were only four steps on that small slope, laid out in concrete and set into the ground. It wasn't even more than a foot and a half high, but somehow, someway, Terry missed his landing. Terry's skateboard just seemed to stop when it touched down. He watched Terry start to step off his board in a quick, clumsy and dazed manner, just before it shot out from underneath his other foot. Alex and cringed as he saw Terry's ankle buckle underneath him. Another cringe was brought about as Terry flopped down hard on the even harder concrete around the fountain. Terry just bailed. He ran to his friend, not knowing whether to be worried or amazed. One look at Terry let him know which.

"Whoohoo! Did you see THAT!?" Terry proclaimed as he attempted to stand up.

He wiped his bloodied palm off on his shirt as he hobbled over to retrieve his skateboard, which, to some measure of irony, had rolled up against the stairs it had just come over.

"How's your foot?" Alex inquired, half worriedly.

"Oh, that? I just sprained it good. It'll walk it off."

"You sure, man?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. It'll be good as new here in a little bit." With that, Terry stomped his foot on the ground in example.

At that moment, a sound somewhere between a crack and a pop was heard, and Terry recoiled in pain. They looked at each other in a shocked silence for a moment before Alex finally broke it.

"You might wanna get that checked out..."

"Dude, I swear it's just a sprain!"

"Are you positive you don't wanna get it checked out?"

"I'm fine! C'mon, let's get outta here." Terry said as he hobbled off toward the parking lot.

He made it about 10 steps before he crumpled. A mild profanity reached Alex' ears as Terry hit the ground again. Alex walked up to Terry and helped him to his feet.

"Dude, I'm like, kinda thinkin' I should get this checked out..." Terry moaned as they made their way to the car. "You feel like driving?"

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the keys to the black and red Mustang GT and handed them to Alex. Moments later, they were on their way to the hospital.

---

This was originally meant as part of an opening post for an RP. It probably would have made it too, except that after I finished writing it, I discovered that I only needed two sentences to accurately describe the events listed above. :hits_self Anyways, yeah. That's what happens when I stay up late writing. :lol:
I would appreciate any criticism that could be given, as I'd like to get at least some good out of it since it wasn't used.

Oh yeah, and thanks for reading. :thumb:
~Ridley [color="Green"] ;)
[/color]
[font="Arial Black"][color="Red"]My [color="Red"]deviantART[/color][/color][/font] | [font="Arial Black"][color="Red"]My [color="Red"]YouTube[/color][/color][/font]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
~~~[color="Yellow"]AKA: DarkwaterhHealer~~~[/color]
Even when lurking, I am with you in spirit...


Another Sane Sig brought to you by MOES.
User avatar
RidleyofZebes
 
Posts: 627
Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 7:18 pm
Location: Redneck Country, USA

Postby Kung_Fu_Master » Mon May 12, 2008 5:43 pm

Your Welcome.

That would be a great opener. You could still use it you know.
World Domination or Bust :thumb:
User avatar
Kung_Fu_Master
 
Posts: 218
Joined: Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:23 pm
Location: In the Animation department at school with hours of homework.

Postby RidleyofZebes » Mon May 12, 2008 6:19 pm

Probably could, but why not just say "To make a long story short, his friend had seemingly broken his ankle when he bailed. Although he had sworn it was just a sprain, Alex had managed to convince him to go to the emergency room."?

It would leave more room for that kind of development in the present, rather than as a flashback. :D
~Ridley [color="Green"] ;)
[/color]
[font="Arial Black"][color="Red"]My [color="Red"]deviantART[/color][/color][/font] | [font="Arial Black"][color="Red"]My [color="Red"]YouTube[/color][/color][/font]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
~~~[color="Yellow"]AKA: DarkwaterhHealer~~~[/color]
Even when lurking, I am with you in spirit...


Another Sane Sig brought to you by MOES.
User avatar
RidleyofZebes
 
Posts: 627
Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 7:18 pm
Location: Redneck Country, USA

Postby Kung_Fu_Master » Mon May 12, 2008 7:14 pm

<_< Sure, just let your creative genius go to waste, like I do.
World Domination or Bust :thumb:
User avatar
Kung_Fu_Master
 
Posts: 218
Joined: Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:23 pm
Location: In the Animation department at school with hours of homework.


Return to Writing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 258 guests