Postby Bobtheduck » Thu May 01, 2008 8:57 am
Being another Adult living with my parents, I have at least a vague understanding of this situation. My parents are not quite as extreme as all of this, but they do have their moments of irrationality (is that the correct word?)
I will not offer my "help" or anything on honoring your parents, since I've, shall we say, got a board in my eye. I'll simply tell you what I have, and that is I still have an ok relationship with my parents.
My biggest point of contention with my parents is my personal style. I've never bought my own clothing, even when I lived in Northern California for over a year away from them. The only clothing I've ever bought are some shoes, underwear, a couple T-shirts, and one pair of pants. I didn't go through the phase in high school of trying to dress like some group that they didn't like because I didn't have the means to.
Now, in Adulthood, I have done several things that my parents do not agree with in regards to my style. I grew my hair to nearly a foot, with much guilt tripping and whining and moaning and begging from my Mother. I have wanted to bleach and dye my hair green, but I was outright forbidden to do so ("Not as long as you're under this roof, you won't")
Another thing is being able to go where I want. Whenever they see me with shoes on in the appartment, I'm pestered with questions... Where am I going, how long will I be there, who will I be with, make sure I take a jacket, remember I have school in the morning, did I do such-and-such. It's gotten to the point I usually sneak out of the appartment if I have a chance, but that's really difficult since we only have one door into the appartment.
My entertainment choices don't come up too much, but they get upset with me when I watch the HDTV ("Why are you watching TV in here?"), look at me suspiciously whenever I've been watching a premium channel, and they definitely have an issue with Harry Potter (of which I'm an incredible fan)
They have gone through not liking the things I watch every since I was young. I remember being forbidden to watch Captain N after my Dad saw Mother Brain, and my parents not letting me watch Ninja Turtles or Ren and Stimpy or Simpsons (though the last two I understand a bit more now that I'm an adult... I wouldn't let my kids watch Ren and Stimpy, and the Simpsons can be quite iffy for a kid to be watching) I went through a period of trying desperately to defend Pokemon (hahah, I was probably one of the oldest fans at the time) and getting to bring my first War movie home (black hawk down) was the cause of a lot of discussion. The thing is, this is still the case, even though they watch some of the most violent and even sexual things on Network TV (well, my Mom more than my Dad, as he sort of got enlightened during a fast and avoids TV except for the news and Extreme Home Makeover)
The thing with Harry Potter, of course, comes from those watchdog shows on TBN and they have no experience with the books or the movies. I grew up with Bedknobs and Broomsticks and Sleeping Beauty and Bewitched and Aladdin and I dream of Jeanie, but when she started getting the "official" word about how bad and, somehow, legitimate Harry Potter was, she (my Mom, my Dad just backs her up, I don't even think he's watched those specials) wouldn't even hear a word of argument, and actually went back on what she though about those old movies and TV shows, too. That she'd somehow been letting witchcraft into our house by allowing me to watch those when I was younger.
They know I am a fan of the books and movies (less the movies, of course) and they probably spend the entire time I'm at a movie in Prayer, but I felt like things cooled off a little on that front when they heard me talking on a radio show about the books. The thing is, they see them as Children's books, which maybe the first 3 were, and when I explained that I didn't think they have been appropriate for kids or made for kids since the third book, and heard me discuss them rationally over the radio, they loosened a little. They said I had some good points.
I'm writing this to say that I've put up with far less than you, and I've still had problems honoring my parents' wishes, so I understand how much more the desire would be to lash out when they're being as unrational as your parents and church appear to be. I still think it is best to honor and obey your parents, of course, and obey their house rules for you as long as you're in their house. Once you leave, simply never bring up those subjects with them again. Don't put your anime and games and music on display for them to see when you've moved into your new place, for instance, and try your hardest to reconcile with your mother. As for the church, well, they're completely in the wrong, and you should just find a church that doesn't put man-made laws above what God said.
I, on the other hand, will be buying the complete collection of books and movies and put them proudly on display, along with a number of other movies my parents wouldn't agree with, because my Parents accept that once I'm out of the house I can make my own choices about entertainment, but that's the difference between my parents and yours. I hope that your choices of entertainment don't cost you your relationship with your parents for the rest of their lives... That would honestly be a poor trade.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evcNPfZlrZs Watch this movie なう。 It's legal, free... And it's more than its premise. It's not saying Fast Food is good food. Just watch it.
Legend of Crying Bronies: Twilight's a Princess