I kinda have a problem....

[~darkelfgirl~]

Well, I hope he changes his methods and eventually gets the girl of his dreams.

It looks like you're on the right track. It seems cruel to actually DO it, but a guy who can't learn to socially function SHOULD be pushed away, and you'll be doing him a favor, even though he doesn't realize it.

A semi-aside:

Why do people insist on being 'nice' to others when it comes to (termination or rejection of) relationships and dating? It causes nothing but problems for everyone involved, and in the long run causes more pain than the pain that was being avoided initially.

There's only two ways a relationship can end: You break up, or one of you dies. If it's not working out, and it's not going to work out, someone needs to take the initiative and call things off -- even if it has to be done before the relationship starts.

Those afraid of heartache confuse me too. Heartache sucks, but EVERY relationship EXCEPT a permanent one will wind up as a painful experience -- but you can learn from it. And since you can only have ONE permanent relationship, it's EXTREMELY unlikely that it will be your first one (especially since you aren't getting any experiences with the stresses of a relationship, nor what you might not see going into a relationship). For most people it will be a 6th, or even 20th relationship that leads to a permanent, happy life of marriage.

In other words: Don't fear the heartache. It hurts, but what you learn from it is important to your future married life.

/off-topic

True *nods*


Thanks for the advice, guys ^^
This reminds me...I'm going to have to buy some mace for when I go off to college . These situations are becoming frighteningly more common with bad endings.

[Nate]

This reminds me...I'm going to have to buy some mace for when I go off to college

It's a hundred dollars though. o.o

[AsianBlossom]

XD

How would you fit THAT into a can?

[Chrysolite]

Mace is one of God's many gifts to women. Though, for those of us who can't aim worth a melted penny, it's nice to know that modern technology has given birth to the tazer. ^-^

Anyway, I do have one thing to contribute to the topic at hand. I think most of the relevant good advice has already been given, but as someone wise said earlier, your first priority has to be your safety. I don't assume this guy is dangerous but I would NEVER assume he's harmless. That has been the last mistake of so many girls... Not to scare you or anything, but I definitely think you should not allow yourself to be alone with him. Not that you have to embarass him in front of a school assembly or anything, but don't speak to him in a deserted place if people who can help you aren't well within earshot. And don't be afraid to tell him flat out, "I don't want to be alone with you." No guy worth his salt doesn't understand why a strange girl wouldn't want to be alone with him. Heck, even most guys not worth their salt understand that!

Good luck and God bless!

[Roxas2210]

Have you guys ever considered that this man might have some sort of mental illness that prevents him from doing things normaly, but things he thinks would be acceptible? A lot of mentaly ill people are good natured people, they just dont know how to approch normal people. Perhaps in his mind, he is doing nothing wrong and just truly wants a friend! Maybe he is just trying his hardest to live a normal life! If people would not be so quick to judge others, we would have a much better place to live in! Not everyone looks like they would be your best friend for life!! Maybe he is genuin and is just trying to be friendly!!! Have any of you considered this?!?!

[RobinSena]

Have you guys ever considered that this man might have some sort of mental illness that prevents him from doing things normaly, but things he thinks would be acceptible? A lot of mentaly ill people are good natured people, they just dont know how to approch normal people. Perhaps in his mind, he is doing nothing wrong and just truly wants a friend! Maybe he is just trying his hardest to live a normal life! If people would not be so quick to judge others, we would have a much better place to live in! Not everyone looks like they would be your best friend for life!! Maybe he is genuin and is just trying to be friendly!!! Have any of you considered this?!?!

No offense, but have you ever listened to the news? True, he could be innocent, but with so many people who aren't innocent out there, it's best for her to take the safe route.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Have you guys ever considered that this man might have some sort of mental illness that prevents him from doing things normaly, but things he thinks would be acceptible? A lot of mentaly ill people are good natured people, they just dont know how to approch normal people. Perhaps in his mind, he is doing nothing wrong and just truly wants a friend! Maybe he is just trying his hardest to live a normal life! If people would not be so quick to judge others, we would have a much better place to live in! Not everyone looks like they would be your best friend for life!! Maybe he is genuin and is just trying to be friendly!!! Have any of you considered this?!?!

It's perfectly acceptable for someone to not want to take the risks in pursing a friendship with someone who they find dangerous or frightful. I doubt you'd want a kleptomaniac to be a friend of yours, as they'll constantly and compulsively steal things that belong to you. Not saying that you couldn't be friends with that person, but most people generally prefer not to.

And face it, this kid is some Highschool dude. Most people in Highschool don't really know how to socially function when they're around somebody they develop feelings for. If he is doing something wrong socially, he needs to learn what he is doing wrong and make changes in his own methods as he matures.

Her safety should be more important than her friendship with this guy. If she wants to take that risk, she's more than welcome to. However, given the fact that he's seemingly obsessed with her (As well as probably a few other girls) I say that it's best to avoid him, regardless of whether or not he has a mental condition.

[ich1990]

Mace is one of God's many gifts to women. Though, for those of us who can't aim worth a melted penny, it's nice to know that modern technology has given birth to the tazer. ^-^

Actually, the tazer is really hard to aim, has limited range, and typically only has one shot.

When you fire a tazer, it shoots out two sharp, metal prongs with metal wires attached to them. These prongs puncture the victim's clothing and skin (to ensure that the electricity conducts). Following this, an electrical charge is sent down the wires and arcs throught the victim's body between the two puncture wounds, incapacitating them.

A stun gun, on the other hand, is basically a giant capacitor. In this case, all you need to do is place both prongs on a persons skin and push the button. There are downsides, however. First of all, you must be close to the (most likely hostile) victim. Second, you must place both contacts on exposed skin (it doesn't work well through clothing). Finally, the electrical charge doesn't always incapacitate the opponent, becuase most shocks are administered to the arms or legs rather than the torso.

Knives and guns aren't a very good self defense weapons, because most people are not prepared to kill a person in self defense. In addition, both weapons require much practice to use effectively. Unless you are absolutely sure you can kill another person, don't carry a knife or a gun.

Mace (the liquid kind) or pepper spray is usually the best bet when it comes to a self defense weapon. Both types of spray are incredibly effective when applied to the facial area (spray a little mace on a paper plate and sniff it, you will see what I mean). Make sure that you buy the stream kind of spray rather than the misting kind; the last thing you want is to get misted by your own mace and become just as incapacitated as your opponent. Also, make sure that you buy several cans of spray, and practice using them several times so that you know what the range and trajectory of the spray is. Lastly, if you do buy mace, keep it in your pocket were it is easily accessable. Mace is not going to do you any good if it is buried in the bottom of your purse.

One other possibility is martial arts. If you take the time to become proficient in one art, you will invariably fare much better against an assailant. Judo focusses on maximum efficiency for the least effort, which means you won't be learning how to punch or kick (which is relatively difficult for a female to do properly against a male assailant). Instead, Judo teaches how to throw your opponent (on against concrete, it would hurt, a lot). Also, Judo teaches many different armbars and strangles which effectively incapacitate the opponent without killing them.

Bottom line, buy mace or pepper spray and practice with it. If you can afford it, become proficient in a marial art as well as purchase mace.

In case you are wondering what this is all about, my sister just asked me a similar "what weapon should I buy for self defense" question. What you just read was the results of my research into the area.

[Chrysolite]

Very cool! That's very good to know! I'll save that to my computer! ^-^

I kinda know what you mean. My cousin takes martial arts and he's shown me some moves like the ones you described, but I don't think I know them well enough to effectively use them. It's good to know that the smell of mace will do the job. I always thought you had to get it in a person's eyes in order for it to do any good. Seriously, thanks for the lesson! I can benefit from this in the future, even if it's just info I use in a story.

And in reply to Roxas, you have a good point, but a girl who wants to survive in this sick world has to be conscious of her safety. No offence to men in general, but most guys don't realize just how physically weak the average woman is compared to the average man. And physical strength aside, it's not hard for someone capable of violence to seem completely innocent, or to hide a semi-destructive weapon on their person. I think she should try to be kind to this guy as well as she can without leading him on and giving him false hope, but she can't value his feelings over any threat to her life, however small.

[Nate]

Her safety should be more important than her friendship with this guy.

What he said.

[termyt]

It's a hundred dollars though. o.o

I t may be expensive, but it is very effective when used appropriately and it is reusable!

[USSRGirl]

Just wanna add that being politically correct or sympathetic in assuming someone has a mental illness when they have well crossed the line between socialization issues and stalking is a fun way to get yourself killed. Serial killers have mental illnesses - do you go try and "fix them" and make friends with them? I don't think Elfy's situation is anywhere near that serious, but it's good to remember that you always need to look out for yourself first in bad situations. It might sound nasty, but it's true. There're a lot of freaks in the world who are going to prey on that sympathy and good intention - and guess what? They don't have good intentions for you and they don't share your Christian values or "be nice" mindset.

What do I you need mace for when you got a spork? XP

Nice Aku avvie btw. I approve. ^____^

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Actually, the tazer is really hard to aim, has limited range, and typically only has one shot.

I think she's referring to a hand taser...

[ich1990]

I think she's referring to a hand taser...

Why would anyone want to taze someone's hand?

J/K I figured she was probably talking about a hand tazer/stun gun, which is why I mentioned the downsides of using one in a hostile situation.

[~darkelfgirl~]

Actually, the tazer is really hard to aim, has limited range, and typically only has one shot.

When you fire a tazer, it shoots out two sharp, metal prongs with metal wires attached to them. These prongs puncture the victim's clothing and skin (to ensure that the electricity conducts). Following this, an electrical charge is sent down the wires and arcs throught the victim's body between the two puncture wounds, incapacitating them.

A stun gun, on the other hand, is basically a giant capacitor. In this case, all you need to do is place both prongs on a persons skin and push the button. There are downsides, however. First of all, you must be close to the (most likely hostile) victim. Second, you must place both contacts on exposed skin (it doesn't work well through clothing). Finally, the electrical charge doesn't always incapacitate the opponent, becuase most shocks are administered to the arms or legs rather than the torso.

Knives and guns aren't a very good self defense weapons, because most people are not prepared to kill a person in self defense. In addition, both weapons require much practice to use effectively. Unless you are absolutely sure you can kill another person, don't carry a knife or a gun.

Mace (the liquid kind) or pepper spray is usually the best bet when it comes to a self defense weapon. Both types of spray are incredibly effective when applied to the facial area (spray a little mace on a paper plate and sniff it, you will see what I mean). Make sure that you buy the stream kind of spray rather than the misting kind]

Some research! Thanks ^^.

It's a hundred dollars though. o.o

Nice! But someday, I'd like to get married and have kids. I mean, I like LotR, but I don't want to live in it! XD The guys'lll be saying, "Don't date that girl! She'll kill you with her psycho medieval weapon." Wait--that matches with any outfit....


When he comes around, there are usually some people nearby.

I see what you're saying Roxas, but you have to be careful in a world like this. In my corner of the world (a big city with a huge crime rate), someone's always going missing or murdered.


Why do I need a spork when I have a souba? Silly Temulin with your feeeeble and ill-funded battle tactics XD

Thanks Tems ^^ Aku is awesome .

[Shilohan ninja]

Ever think of just giving him the evil eye? I mean that really creepy look that a hermit from one of those old horror movies would use. Either that, or you could practice hockin' loogies in front of him to grouse him out.

JK. As mentioned before, I would suggest martial arts training and a guy friend to go with you to pose as your boyfriend. To me, it sounds like maybe a cry for help. Try praying for him.

[minakichan]

A mace might be hard for a girl, especially if you don't work out a lot to develop upper body strength. I would go for something like nunchaku or manriki-- let the momentum do the damage. =D That, and they're easy to conceal-- slip it in your jacket sleeve and no guy will ever know the difference.

The downside is that they don't necessarily match with any outfit.

[Kunoichi]

I'm a martial artist and instructor and have even found myself in this type of situation.

I agree, all precuation should be taken as you don't really know this person and whether they have a mental illness or not, does not mean they rae any less dangerous. (Though not meant as offense)

My suggestion woudl be to buy a weapon you feel comfortable using, take a martial art if you feel it would help you (though it does take time) however, it is proven if you react and do something within the first ninety seconds of an attack over 80 percent of the victims escape!

I recently had a doctor tell me to be careful as I leave. His best friend was stepping out of a restaurant with his girlfriend and out of the blue, the ex boyfriend came up with a gun and shot the girlfriend in the head and shot the boyfriend four times (he is now paralyzed and needs some prayer).

So you can not trust in this world...too many people who do not care about human life or about anything except what they want.

[Nate]

I mean, I like LotR, but I don't want to live in it! XD

You said you wanted mace though. o.o

The guys'lll be saying, "Don't date that girl! She'll kill you with her psycho medieval weapon."

The D&D nerds would not be saying that. I would know, as I am one.

[Raiden no Kishi]

I wouldn't be frightened. A girl carrying a mace says to me, "This young woman knows her melee weapons." After all, a mace is pretty much all-around excellent.

.rai//

[termyt]

You said you wanted mace though. o.o

The D&D nerds would not be saying that. I would know, as I am one.

It's true. Learn to use that and you can have all the D&D nerds you want swooning over you.

[Nate]

I have a sneaking suspicion that all the D&D nerds she wants would be zero.

[~darkelfgirl~]

I have a sneaking suspicion that all the D&D nerds she wants would be zero.

XDD. I'm not shallow.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

So Darkelf, got any updates about this fellow? XD

[~darkelfgirl~]

So Darkelf, got any updates about this fellow? XD

XD I haven't seen him in a while (probably because I go to my locker before I go to the bus, so I'm always late). Or hopefully, he got the message without me having to tell him (and he now understands that stalking one's crush is a bad idea). Or maybe he found out I'm a senior. *shrugs*

I think I may have given him the 'evil eye' without knowing, because I saw this one guy that kinda looks like him (yeh, it's dumb that I only have a vague description of him), and I was mad at something that day, so when I looked off from the person I was ranting to, my 'evil eye mode' was on, so the first person I looked at happened to be him. I think.... If it was him, it seemed like he was thinking about coming up to me, but he chickened out at my eye. O.O

Maybe it's over, maybe it's not. If it isn't, I'll be sure to use the much appreciated advice.

[Nate]

XDD. I'm not shallow.

Wait is that for or against what I said?

[~darkelfgirl~]

Wait is that for or against what I said?

Against hehe. Hobbies can't be the only determinant.

So, guess what I found out yesterday. An interesting revelation. It isn't a crush--it's desperation (no offense). He's stalking my friend's friend, too. Turns out that he may be stalking others besides us. Very interesting.

[Nate]

Against hehe.

Oh. :\ Well, in all fairness, D&D nerds are used to being rejected by girls. So you're merely following societal norms. XP

It isn't a crush--it's desperation (no offense). He's stalking my friend's friend, too. Turns out that he may be stalking others besides us. Very interesting.

That's messed up. Man if you're going to stalk someone at LEAST be committed. Don't stalk a bunch of women at once, that's rude.

Joking aside, that's pretty messed up. Sounds like someone needs to sit that boy down and discuss with him what is considered functional social behavior in the real world, and what will get him put in jail. Because he seems to be in desperate need of that information.

[~darkelfgirl~]

Wait--I meant I don't care if they're DD nerds. XD Just as long as that doesn't take up their entire life.

That's messed up. Man if you're going to stalk someone at LEAST be committed. Don't stalk a bunch of women at once, that's rude.

Joking aside, that's pretty messed up. Sounds like someone needs to sit that boy down and discuss with him what is considered functional social behavior in the real world, and what will get him put in jail. Because he seems to be in desperate need of that information.

I totally agree.

Judging from yesterday, it seems like he stopped (for now). I walked right past him (well, he stared at me, but I looked somewhere else) and he didn't follow. That's progress. I hope it's over--for every girl.

[Tsukuyomi]

That's good Maybe he's finally realized it on his own. Or, maybe someone has seen what he's been doing and had a little chat with him, but I still advise to keep your distance from him just to be safe ^__^ Don't let yourself be alone. Always stick around your friends. If he happens to wave or say hi, I think it'll be ok to wave and say hello ^_^ You don't want to come off as being mean, but then again.. hmmm o.o?