Seeking Biblical Advice For a Mountain of Suffering

[Mizumi-Kun]

[font="Arial"][SIZE="2"]As of this moment, I'd like my name to remain anonymous, so please do not go checking my profile to figure out who I am. (You probably won't find much anyway.)

Right now I'm facing an uphill battle. I have been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and most likely bipolar disorder. I'm pretty sure I have it, because I have manic stages where I'm happy and as joyful as can be and three minutes later I want to die. Most of the time, I feel very good and alright with things: I have great friends, I have many different talents, and my whole family loves me. But then I get to these points where I feel like a car wreck: I feel like my friends only like me out of sympathy, my talents are going to waste out of idleness or selfishness, and my parents only "love me" because they have to. I have episodes of depression and extremely violent anger. I feel like the poorest and most disgusting piece of trash that roams our school. Sure, I don't do drugs, I don't have sex, and I'm extremely nice to about everyone I know, but I still feel like an utter reject. I feel like I'm the one everyone talks about when I'm not around.

Now here's where it gets even more complicated: I'm desperately trying to live a life according to God's will and Jesus' commandments, but I feel like I just simply don't belong. I don't feel joy. I have no security. Even when I'm praying and reading my Bible, I still feel something's amiss. I wonder if God even wants me to be happy or not. I feel like every breath is just one step closer to death.

I need help. Advice, prayer, or the best thing would probably be Bible verses I can look up to help me, because I have no idea where to start. I doubt there's anything in the Bible about dealing with mental disorders such as Asperger's and bipolar, but if anyone anywhere has anything useful, do not hesitate to tell me.

In God's name, thank you.

P.S. And on top of everything else, my dad is currently trying to take away myself and my brothers from my mother and stepdad. My dad's not a Christian at all, and he's using every dirty trick in the book, including accusing my mother of being a drug addict and an abuser, which she isn't, so that's obviously causing a lot of strife.[/SIZE][/font]

[Sheenar]

Will pray for you. I am a fellow Aspie, so I have experienced these same feelings. Let me sit on this for the night/tomorrow. I am experiencing some CP symptoms, and need to rest very soon.

But know that God does indeed love you. You are immensely valuable to Him. Why else would Christ have come? You were created by Him and He loves you.

I'll write back with some verses that have helped me immensely. I just need time to think when I can think clearly...

In Christ,

Sheenar

[freerock1]

Thanks for your honesty, brother. I think most of us as Christians go through the hole emotional roller coaster. What we have to remember, though, is that who we are in Christ is not determined by our circumstances or how we feel; it's determined by who God says we are.

1 John 3:1 says, "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" We can be encouraged that we are literally God's sons and daughters.

And Jesus said in John 16:33, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Obviously we will have trials, but we serve a God who is greater than our problems and who has the solution to all of them.

You said that you try to live according to Jesus' commandments, which is good; obviously God calls us to a life of obedience. But I would ask you, in your Christian walk, is your emphasis on how well you can obey, or on the good work that God has already done?

Colossians 2:13-15 says, "When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross." Obviously the emphasis in this passage is not on the good work we can do, but on the good work that Christ did.

Please don't misunderstand me; I'm not saying that people can live any way they want and God will be ok with it. But I am saying that as Christians, God never intended for us to be bummed all the time.

1 John 5:3 says, "This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome."

Also, 1 John 3:6 says, "Whoever abides in Him does not sin. Whoever sins has neither seen Him nor known Him." I don't believe this means that we don't occasionally stumble, but rather that as Christians, it's no longer our nature to sin.

And for those times that we do stumble, 1 John 1:7 says, "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin."

This should be such a load off our minds! We no longer have to go around beating ourselves up in fear that we've sinned, because it's no longer our nature to sin. But if we do stumble (and we all do from time to time -- 1 John 1:8 tells us we're not without sin), Jesus' blood purifies us from all sin. So as long as we're God's children with a desire to follow Him, it sounds to me like we're covered!

Anyway, I hope this is of some encouragement with at least some of the issues you're going through in your Christian walk. I will be lifting you and your family up in prayer, my brother. Be encouraged.

[SailorDove]

Dear Mizumi-Kun,

I'm sorry you're going though so much stuff! The sun doesn't always shine, nor does it always rain. The weather changes as do our emotions.

but I feel like I just simply don't belong. I don't feel joy. I have no security. Even when I'm praying and reading my Bible, I still feel something's amiss. I wonder if God even wants me to be happy or not.

You're circumstances are different, yet many seem to feel the same way. Must admit, I'm no exception. Sometimes words seem hollow when you feel that way. The world and life can be quite unfair. That's why I think God gave us the gift of laughter. Perhaps Mary Poppins said it best, "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down."

In my biased opinion, watch some of the classic comedies with you family like; Abbott & Costello, Bringing up Baby, The Thin Man series, McGale's Navy, F Troop, Bilko. Where right was right and comedy wasn't mean spirited, just fun, witty and goofy. And the moral to the story was to do what's right & care about others. It always gives us a little hope, perhaps it may help your family too.

Discouragement Thread, (has a couple of verses.)
http://www.christiananime.net/showthread.php?p=1204018#post1204018

Another verse
"Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
Matthew 5:3

I'm not quite sure what it means, but feel it relates to what we're going though.

May God help your family and you as you endure everything you're going though. In Jesus' name we pray.
Amen.

[GhostontheNet]

[font="Arial"][SIZE="2"]As of this moment, I'd like my name to remain anonymous, so please do not go checking my profile to figure out who I am. (You probably won't find much anyway.)

Right now I'm facing an uphill battle. I have been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and most likely bipolar disorder. I'm pretty sure I have it, because I have manic stages where I'm happy and as joyful as can be and three minutes later I want to die. Most of the time, I feel very good and alright with things: I have great friends, I have many different talents, and my whole family loves me. But then I get to these points where I feel like a car wreck: I feel like my friends only like me out of sympathy, my talents are going to waste out of idleness or selfishness, and my parents only "love me" because they have to. I have episodes of depression and extremely violent anger. I feel like the poorest and most disgusting piece of trash that roams our school. Sure, I don't do drugs, I don't have sex, and I'm extremely nice to about everyone I know, but I still feel like an utter reject. I feel like I'm the one everyone talks about when I'm not around.

Now here's where it gets even more complicated: I'm desperately trying to live a life according to God's will and Jesus' commandments, but I feel like I just simply don't belong. I don't feel joy. I have no security. Even when I'm praying and reading my Bible, I still feel something's amiss. I wonder if God even wants me to be happy or not. I feel like every breath is just one step closer to death.

I need help. Advice, prayer, or the best thing would probably be Bible verses I can look up to help me, because I have no idea where to start. I doubt there's anything in the Bible about dealing with mental disorders such as Asperger's and bipolar, but if anyone anywhere has anything useful, do not hesitate to tell me.

In God's name, thank you.

P.S. And on top of everything else, my dad is currently trying to take away myself and my brothers from my mother and stepdad. My dad's not a Christian at all, and he's using every dirty trick in the book, including accusing my mother of being a drug addict and an abuser, which she isn't, so that's obviously causing a lot of strife.[/SIZE][/font]

I deal with Asperger's Syndrome and I have dealt with depression quite a bit over the past couple of years. I know the combination of these two can be very difficult emotionally because Asperger's tends to foster this sense of isolation that feeds the symptoms of depression and makes it more difficult to combat. One of the most painful aspects of Aspergers Syndrome is that often the people around us do not send us any positive or negative signals about our behavior, and in this void of communication we can form a very negative self-concept of ourselves that we are so worthless we are not even worth anyone's time. Having been through a similar situation, will try to offer my best Biblical and non-Biblical advice on this matter.

The Biblical book that will probably most help you through your present predicament is the Book of Psalms, which you'll probably want to read repeatedly and absorb. The Psalms have this brilliant ability to represent the entire spectrum of human emotion from the most brilliant highs to the darkest lows. Depression has this profound ability to destroy our sense of meaning and value in life, so it is important to make sure that in our thoughts we safeguard our sense of value behind an inpregnable fortress as the storm rages outside of us. I notice that each of the things you mention give your life a sense of purpose have to do with your own personal characteristics or the people around you. But in your current state you know all too well that all of these things are made of dust and can be lost, so you fear that all of these things will be reduced to dust in your hands sooner rather than later. However, the truth of the matter is that your value and purpose comes from the fact that you are made in the image of an imperishable and eternal God, and our God is a mighty fortress. If you can internalize this truth, you will weather the storm in much better shape. Finally, like David, I believe you will need some kind of creative outlet to confront your feelings of loneliness, fear, anger, and depression directly. For me, this outlet has been Gothic and Industrial music, which I broadcast on an internet radio station called Batcave Redemption Radio, and which may also help you through this (the link is in my signature if you're interested).

[Mizumi-Kun]

[font="Arial"][SIZE="2"]Thank you, all of you. I will take everything you have all said into deep consideration. You wouldn't believe it though; last night, as I was going to bed, I prayed outloud for about ten minutes about my situation and other things, and when I woke up this morning, I felt like the weight of the world had ran away from my shoulders. It's a wonderous thing. God bless all of you.[/SIZE][/font]

[Sheenar]

Sorry I haven't replied sooner, Mizumi-kun.
I second Ghost on the Net's comments. The Psalms have been immensely helpful to me --especially Psalm 139 --it reminds us that we have been fearfully and wonderfully made by God, that He knows us intimately, and that there is nowhere we can go that His presence is not--He will always find us and will always be with us. Remember when you feel alone that God promised never to abandon you --and He never will. He is always faithful. He can be trusted.

Also, 2 Corinthians 4 is my favorite passage of Scripture (reminds me that my trials and the sufferings of earth are temporary). This passage and Isaiah 43 (which reminds me that God is with me--He is all-powerful and mighty to save--no matter the circumstance) have helped me immensely.

I'll be praying for you Mizumi-kun. Anytime you need to talk, feel free to PM me.