Help making friends

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Help making friends

Postby Lone Gamer » Sun Jan 27, 2008 4:47 pm

Yeah i need some help making friends. I don't know how to approach people. It would seem like if I go up to a random person they would think im wierd. It seems that when somebody talks to me we don't really relate. Some guy asked me if I went anywhere for winter holiday, and my reply was no softly and i shook my side to side. Yeah just wondering how you guys approach people when making friends.
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Postby silver_wolf454 » Sun Jan 27, 2008 4:52 pm

I just try to find friends that like what I like. It makes it easier to start a conversation. You don't have to be afriad of people most of them won't bite. ^-^
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Postby Raiden no Kishi » Sun Jan 27, 2008 5:03 pm

Ask questions. If you see someone drawing, ask them about drawing ~ what it feels like, why they draw, etc. ~ open-ended questions that cannot be answered with a yes or a no. Drawing's just one example. Ask people about themselves ~ most people like to talk about themselves. It doesn't matter if you say anything about yourself ~ in fact, don't do it unless you're asked. Just give it a shot. It's really, REALLY hard for me to do, but I've been pleased every time I did.

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Postby Righteousss » Sun Jan 27, 2008 5:23 pm

JUst strike up a conversation on something like their shoes, shirt, pencil, etc. Find other people with your interests. Good luck :)
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Postby LadyRushia » Sun Jan 27, 2008 5:27 pm

Common interests are always things to bond over, as other have mentioned. Yes, talking to new people can be scary, but most of them will respond positively.
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Postby Righteousss » Sun Jan 27, 2008 5:39 pm

and just be careful who you socialize with as well
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Postby Dante » Sun Jan 27, 2008 7:31 pm

I randomly walk up to people and ask them what their favorite prime number is... they look at me wierd when I say that mine is two... it doesn't work well as a tactic for making friends... :(
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Postby ADXC » Sun Jan 27, 2008 8:15 pm

I can relate LG, considering Im a loner myself(Not saying your one). Ive always wanted some more friends but everyone just ignores me, its just not fair for us ugly people(NOTE: I was not saying your ugly, I was talking about myself. Please, please, please don't think I was insinuating you were because I have no idea what you look like. Heck for all I know your probably the most handsome person ever.). Anyways, if not many people know you or they don't know the 'real' you then you pretty much have a clean slate. But that doesn't mean you can't be friends with acquaintaces that already know you. Yeah, I guess you should be friends with people that have something in common with you. I would stray away from people who would have nothing they could relate to from you.

I doubt any of that helped so Im sorry if I did not provide any useful advice.
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Postby mechana2015 » Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:18 pm

Look for groups that share interests with you. Groups will often contain people that will share more interests, and the group setting in often less awkward, as organized groups often are interested in getting new people and will be more attuned to welcoming people that don't know any of the group. It will also usually be less awkward than trying to talk to people one on one.
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Postby Saj » Mon Jan 28, 2008 10:25 am

Making friends is hard for me to. I tend to be very quiet with not much to say. One thing i have noticed tho, i have made most of my friends from my actions, and not my words.

Just try to look for people who have the same interests as you, and move up from there.
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Postby Nia-chan » Sun Feb 03, 2008 11:02 am

I know where you're coming from :3 If somebody asks you a question, try turning it back on them.
Ex. "How was your break?"
"It was alright. I didn't get to go out of town, though. What about you?"

Also, try not to use one word answers :3
Ex. "How are you today?"
"Not bad, just a little tired. I was up late last night doing Mr. So-and-so's homework. Doesn't he give a lot?"

By the way, around what age are you? Are you middle, high school, etc?
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Postby Lone Gamer » Sun Feb 03, 2008 11:15 am

Im a 16 in the 11th grade.
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Postby Doubleshadow » Sun Feb 03, 2008 11:36 am

You need to express a genuine interest in learning about the person, and try to project a friendly engaging persona. I'm somewhat reclusive by nature, the kind of person who'd usually rather be alone with a book or her own thoughts, but I figured out how to open. You'll need to develop some conversational skills and let the person know you have their attention: eye contact, engaging posture, etc. Then look for openings in the conversation. As an example, in your post you mentioned merely answering a question with no. Why not mention what you do instead, or ask him about what he does on holiday? If you have something in common, discuss that, if not, ask him what somethings you have never experienced are like.
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Postby Mithrandir » Sun Feb 03, 2008 1:31 pm

I've also found that the phrase "tell me more about that" or asking for clarification on a point REALLY goes a long way toward showing you are interested.
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Postby Tsukuyomi » Sun Feb 03, 2008 11:31 pm

A simple hello is a good starter :) If they get freaked and walk away. Then you don't want to be friends with them anyway o.O

But those who are willing to reply with a hi or hello. Just continue with,"What such great weather we are having." I know it sounds corny, but that actually works \o.o/ And, if you see them holding something or have something near them like an anime or manga. Comment on it. Like,"Ooh, are you into Ainime to..?" Or something like that :) I made friends with the clerks at Game Stop doing that :D They were talking about Inuyasha. I forgot what they said, but I jumped in and we started talking about other animes and stuff :)

No, I didn't get a discount on my game -_-

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Postby yukoxholic » Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:37 am

Yeah, as most people have already stated general interests/commenting on something the other person is wearing or carrying usually gets a conversation going. That and I've noticed waiting in long, long lines for things you can meet a lot of interesting people just by the same complaint, 'How long is this going to be!?" ^__^

Just be yourself and don't worry so much about looking awkward or even think too much on what to say just by going up to someone and saying "Hey!" and giving a smile will almost always work in starting a conversation. :)

Just be confident! Not every person you meet will shoot you down. Half the time, they're feeling the same way you do about this kind of stuff!


Tsukuyomi (post: 1196836) wrote: I made friends with the clerks at Game Stop doing that :D They were talking about Inuyasha. I forgot what they said, but I jumped in and we started talking about other animes and stuff :)

No, I didn't get a discount on my game -_-


Oh my goodness! I have the same thing happen in Game Stop except mine is a polar opposite...they want to talk about everything I am buying and they blow everything in the game and or anime (they sell used DVDs here) for me!!! ;___; I have one of those slow motion "Noooooooooo!" moments every time.
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Mon Feb 04, 2008 1:57 pm

I think Nia-Chan hit the point really well. Think of conversation like a good game of catch. If someone asks you a question, you can either say a quick and easy answer, (Missing the ball, thus the game is over) or say an answer that's a little bit more detailed, followed by a question to ask them. (Catching the ball and throwing it back).

Let's say I asked you how your winter holiday was. You could either say "I did nothing", or you could say "I didn't do much. I watched some tv, stayed home and laid around the house, maybe played a little bit of <insert videogame here>, which is a really good game. What did you do?"

The second example will lead to me into a deeper conversation, and you can respond by saying something like "Yeah I enjoy doing that too! Etc etc etc".

Really what I'm saying is that if you want to be liked by people and make friends, you need to be a more sociable person and a fair conversationalist. This way, you can even be friends with people who have totally different interests.
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Postby Mithrandir » Mon Feb 04, 2008 4:41 pm

yukoxholic (post: 1196900) wrote:Just be confident! Not every person you meet will shoot you down. Half the time, they're feeling the same way you do about this kind of stuff!


This happens quite a bit more often than people realize. Many times other people are just as awkward, but they hide it better.

[quote="yukoxholic (post: 1196900)"] they want to talk about everything I am buying and they blow everything in the game and or anime (they sell used DVDs here) for me!!! ]

Teh suxxorz!!!
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