Postby Zilch » Thu Mar 18, 2004 3:03 pm
Act 1, Scene 12
Troll Invasions, Cool Fight Scenes, and...a BOOMSTICK?
(Another boring day...we seems to have a lot of those...)
Calbh: YAWWWN!...yeesh...so dull...I wish something would happen...
Duckie: Yeah...
Ekul: (sigh)...can I spam?
Spencer: I told you, Ekul, no spamming!
Ekul: You guys never let me do anything...
CobaltAngel: Hey, Duckie! Guess what I just noticed?
Duckie: What?
Cobalt: Without the "d" in your name, it spells "Uckie"!
(The GRG gives a collective groan at the hopelessly lame joke. The phone rings. Zilch picks it up.)
Zilch: 'lo?...mhhmmm...mmhmm...yup(picks something out his teeth)...right...well, I will pass on that message...alright...bye...*click*
Calbh: Who was that?
Zilch: Someone named Straylight...said CAA's under invasion...they need backup, or something...hmm...
(They sit in silence. Someone burps. Then...they realize the news just brought upon them.)
Spencer: WHAT? CAA UNDER ATTACK!?! TO ARMS MY COUNTRYMEN...uhh..BOARDMEN!...AND BOARDWOMEN!
Duckie: Let's do it!
Cobalt: YEAH!
Calbh: (shaking her head) No, CB, we need you here to defend the GRG, both you and Ekul.
Ekul: WHHHAAAAA?
Calbh: Well, some has to do it! And apparently the incredible, awesome, great-humored, handsome, intelligent(not to mention humble) author decided you would do it. So, there!
Ekul, Cobalt: ...fine....
(The rest of the GRG suits up and goes to battle...somewhere else in the world, Kefka is watching the proceedings on a portable black and white screen...what? Were you expecting top-of-the-line equipment for the legions of Hell?...anyway...)
Kefka: My diversion is going as planned...Demon #3452, great job doing Straylight's voice...
Demon: No problem, luv...
(The GRG arrives at CAA.)
Calbh: (looks at the peaceful surroundings)...oh, CRAP! It was a trap!
Duckie: (remembering a earlier scene) Let's...not start that again...
Zilch: ...this must have been a diversion?
Kirakira: How do you know?
Zilch: I'm the author.
Kirakira: Ohh...
Spencer: FALL BACK TO THE GUILD! HOLD THE LINE! HOLD THE LIIIINNNEE!
(Back at the GRG, Ekul and Cobalt are hard-pressed against a horde of trolls. Ekul is swinging his hammer like a man possessed, and CobaltAngel is covering his back with crossbow.)
Ekul: IT WAS YOUR STUPID BAKED POTATO CHIPS THAT BROUGHT THEM HERE!
Cobalt: (takes out a larger troll with a shot ot the eyeball) NO, IT WASN'T!
Ekul: YEAH IT WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHOWTHATHURT!(pulls a blade out his leg. Cobalt stands over her brother, defending him with life and limb)
Cobalt: GET UP, YA WIMP!
(The remaining Guild members hit the scene just in time.)
Wiggins: Whoa! There's gotta be squillions of the buggers!
MasterDias: What're we waiting for then? CHARGE!
(The sides meet with a titanic clash. Zilch and Skynes immediately break through to help the beleaguered CobaltAngel, wielding Gunblade and longbow . MasterDias, Calbhach, and Spencer lead the charge against the main line. The trolls regroup and begin attacking the Guild's weak flank, taking out Mechana and Melody Maker before anyone can come to their aid. The brave heros form a barrier around the wounded, protecting them until they can recover.)
MelMak: OW! Don't pull so hard!
Wiggins: Wow...must of been an old troll...
MelMak: (wincing) Why do you say that?
(Wiggins emerges from his excavation, holding a pair of troll dentures.)
MelMak: Ohhh...
(Meanwhile at CAA, on a 100" screen, Ashley, Gypsy, Shatterheart , Straylight, and UC Pseudonym are all watching the proceedings at the Guild of Redeemed Gamers.)
Straylight: Ashley, that force is large enough to take down CAA! We must aid them!
Ashley: (looks worried) I see that, Straylight, but...what happens if a different force comes to attack CAA in our absence? No...no...it's too risky...I can't afford any of our members getting hurt...
Shatterheart: What? No...no...NO! I am NOT missing out on a scrap like that! (he runs off, katana in hand)
Gypsy: Impetuous as always...
UC Pseudonym: Let's wait it out...
(The Guild members have come to the brink of being overwhelmed. The troll horde has been pouring massive attacks upon the small force. The only Guild members left standing are Calbhach, Spencer, Skynes, and Zilch. They view another incoming attack with despair.)
Calbh: (shakes head) We can't take that many...
Skynes: Ach, now, mah wee lassie Calbhach! Weh cannah give up sah easily, d' ye ken?
Zilch: Skynes is right, we won't go down without a fight!
Uh-oh! Your sig have started to move! -- MOES.I suppose you could find females attracted to you if you stop being bad at flirting. -MSP