GeneD's poetry and other random writings.

[GeneD]

These are my poems and writings. Most of them are quite old since I’ve been suffering from writers’ block for about two years now (I even tried to write a poem about it but, guess what, I got stuck! ) These works were created over a period of 6 or 7 years.

When I read other people’s poetry I like to know a little about the… history, if you will. So I will try to add a bit about why and when I did each piece.

I’ve also started a book which I will hopefully be able to finish and it may or may not one day get posted here. This is the first one I feel like I might finish and I actually like it, unlike most of the other stories I’ve written (or tried to).

So please let me know what you think and where I can make improvements. I am also praying and hoping that this gets my creative juices going again and reading some of the poetry here has already helped me a bit as yesterday I wrote my first poem in ages.

Enjoy.

This is my new poem. It was going to be longer but then it just felt right where it ended.

Hollow

My stomach dropped through my feet,
And all my organs thereafter.
Now left is just my hollow shell,
Echoing with your laughter.

2008-01-08 (21) -date/ year and age

This is one of my favourite. It was written when I was upset about an unsaved friend who came with me to a church youth service but left halfway through. She has since given her life over to the Lord but has also moved to Australia so I’m not in contact with her much. I took a lot of liberty with poetic licence, the form and spacing here. Written about 4 or 5 years ago.

sky throughout a rainy day

the sky’s all dark now
this morning it was really pretty all downy grey
like a baby’s pillow
but it’s all black now
and this evening it was coloured very peculiarly just
after sunset almost blue
almost green
almost the colour of the sea
but it’s all black now just empty black
there is no stars there is no moon no nothing
just empty black and empty black
it doesn’t cry or rage or play with the lights
puffy black blanket clouds smothering
if there ever was a night that ghosts would walk they would
walk tonight
no shell no soul
just hollow eyes and empty black
like human past or human has been or human living
walks the present the present the present the present
And the sky’s all dark empty black now
and you will not be saved and you don’t want to see and i cannot see why you will not be saved
but the stars do shine behind that empty black and God’s there too
and He says yet hope remains
but i cannot see it

This is a short story I did for a school contest. It had to be about 50 words long and trust me, 50 words are NOT a lot. I did three but like this one the best.

Warning: Possible objectionable content as there is a suggestion of violence. I know it might be very mild but I’d rather put a warning here than cause someone to stumble.

Cold Eyes

Sour water burned his lungs. Hair and weeds danced before
his eyes… cold eyes. A strong hand hit his back.
Bubbles… life escaping. He breathed water.
She released him, mercifully… Her wet body dragged itself to shore.
Cold eyes watching him into darkness. Lifeless body drifting down the river.
Cold eyes following…

I’d just like to know if we can post poetry we haven’t written ourselves? If I like a poem and want to share it but it’s not mine? I think that’s all for now but I’ll put some more on later.

Edit: I noticed that the spacing (tabs between text in the same line) in my second poem and the short don't appear like i've created them, ie. they're not there. This is a little disappointing as they are as much a part of the poems as the text, but it's not the end of the world.

[goldenspines]

Nice poems, I'm surprised no one has commented on these yet.

For "Hollow": Though this is gruesome, it's gets the point across. I'm thinking you could extend the poem even longer, but it still works either way.

For "Sky throughout a rainy day": I can't say this one attracts my interest very much, maybe because it hardly has any flow to it, even free verse poems need to have some flow, or else they would just be words on paper with hardly any meaning. Though, I will admit, I like the imagery you used in this; very descriptive.

For "Cold eyes": This one flows quite nicely. I like the way you put the sentences together. It seems like there was gasping in the words when I read it, which seems to match with the poem, I think. Unless you had a completely different meaning that I've totally missed. XD;

[GeneD]

Since the spacing I wrote this poem with doesn't show here, I'm editting it so the flow is better and it's easier to read.

sky throughout a rainy day 2.0

the sky’s all dark now
this morning it was really pretty
all downy grey like a baby’s pillow
but it’s all black now
and this evening it was coloured very peculiarly just
after sunset
almost blue
almost green
almost the colour of the sea
but it’s all black now
just empty black
there is no stars
there is no moon
no nothing
just empty black and empty black
it doesn’t cry or rage or play with the lights
puffy black blanket clouds
smothering
if there ever was a night that ghosts would walk they would walk tonight
no shell, no soul
just hollow eyes and empty black
like human past or human has been or human living
walks the present
the present
the present
the present
And the sky’s all dark empty black now
and you will not be saved and you don’t want to see and i cannot see why you will not be saved
but the stars do shine behind that empty black and God’s there too
and He says yet hope remains
but i cannot see it

I think this is better. If anyone/mods know how i can keep the tabs (spacing between text in the same line and away from the left side) PLEASE let me know. Hopefully this helps at least a bit.

EDIT: I've come up with a better idea. I've attached a screenshot of the way it is written in Word, so if anyone is still interested ( ) you can view it there.

[GeneD]

This is a random collection of words, but together they just work. Age 17

String of Words

Slowly does the water drip
Slowly it does slip
through finger, fibre, flesh and bone
Soil erosion, soul erosion
Slivers of icy cold as death
Sharp edges in the night
Heavy yellow liquid sand
heavy water weight
Heavy yellow liquid sand
heavy yellow death
Moving colour, living light
blind the eyes at dawn
A tear is caught by a butterfly
and carried out into the morn
Dusk disguises black and white
pours the world to grey
Grey and yellow, moon and sun
stars drop from the sky
skys drop from the stars
Cycle slowly round and round
and round they go and
where they stop, nobody knows
Blow softly, blow gently
blow winter winds and summer shawls
and spring spirits and autumn ashes
leaking all over the floor
liquid life of black and silver
Hearts afloat on open sky
drift on a bluey sea
see them sail out of reach
under and over hard rock and stone.

This one I wrote during some class at school, but I can't remember the specifics.

, but quieter

i think they think I’m crazy
maybe I am
maybe they’re crazy and I’m sane
just like crazy, but quieter

there’s crazy and sane but no normal
we’re all too different for there
to be a normal
i wish there was a normal
and sometimes I don’t.

[goldenspines]

I like the new format of "Sky through a rainy day". It looks much better in Word and illustrates the theme of the poem better.

Concerning "String of Words", it has a very lovely beat to it. It flows pretty well, and I like the descriptiveness in it.
And ", but quieter" is quite good. I like this one the best out of all your poems so far.

[GeneD]

This poem is purely for entertainment value, I hope you like it. I do, it's fun. I think I was about 16 or 17 when I wrote this.

Of Monkeybuts and Roaches’ Breath

Of monkeybuts and roaches breath
I have not much to say.
‘Cept I really would not like to meet
both on a single day.

Of old man’s gums and moose nose jelly
you do not often think.
but I’m sure you did just now
and I’m sure your heart did sink.

Of maggots in meat and worms in apples
you don’t want to hear while you eat.
Because if you did, most probably
your insides your outsides would meet.

We like not to see all that’s gross
all things that creep and crawl.
But just because you don’t like them
doesn’t mean they’re not there at all.

P.S.
At this moment you think me very strange
for that I well may be.
But always remember that very strange
is what you are to me.

I’d just like to know if we can post poetry we haven’t written ourselves? If I like a poem and want to share it but it’s not mine?

Since nobody has answered this question I'm going to go ahead and post a poem by J. R. R. Tolkien. I found it when I had to do a poetry reading for English class some years back. It's delightfully eerie.

The Mewlips

The shadows where the Mewlips dwell
Are dark and wet as ink,
And slow and softly rings their bell,
As in the slime you sink.

You sink into the slime, who dare
To know upon their door,
While down the grinning gargoyles state
And noisome waters pour.

Beside the rotting river-strand
The drooping willows weep,
And gloomily the gorcrows stand
Croaking in their sleep.

Over the Merlock Mountains a long and weary way,
In a mouldy valley where the trees are grey,
By a dark pool's borders without wind or tide,
Moonless and sunless, the Mewlips hide.

The cellars where the Mewlips sit
Are deep and dank and cold
With single sickly candle lit]Thanks Goldy for all the comments. I really appreciate them. [/I]

[goldenspines]

XD
"Of Monkeybuts and Roaches' Breath" made me laugh. It's humorous yet serious at the same time. Either way, I like it. ^_^ Plus, it has a good beat and a very solid structure to it.

I had heard a rumor that J.R.R. Tolkien had written poetry, but I failed to ever find of his poems. I find "Mewlips" quite intriguing and, as you mentioned, eerie. I love the beat he put into it though, it flows so nicely. Thanks for posting it, Gene.

[GeneD]

This poem grew itself in 4 separate pieces on bits of random note paper. I'm guessing I was about 17.

Lonely-time-hate-rain

I am time
The ultimate weapon
I decay, rust, wrinkle and cripple
The siege laid against all flesh and bone.

I am loneliness
Your only companion
Come fall asleep in me
so that I can keep you forever.

I am rain
The tears of the sky
Wrought in silver and in gold
When it rains, it’s because you cry.

I am hate
Movement: immobile
I am cause to your action
and cold death to your bright fire.

I'm attaching another poem as a word document, since it is written in a specific format which would be lost were I to just put it in here.
Here's another Tolkien poem, it's quite sweet. Bit long though, he does love his elven descriptions.

Princess Mee

Little Princess Mee
Lovely was she
As in elven-song is told:
She had pearls in her hair
All threaded fair;
Of gossamer shot with gold
Was her kerchief made,
And a silver braid
Of stars about her throat.
Of moth-web light
All moonlit-white
She wore a woven coat,
And round her kirtle
Was bound a girdle
Sewn with diamond dew.

She walked by day
Under mantle grey
And hood of clouded blue;
But she went by night
All glittering bright
Under the starlit sky,
And her slippers frail
Of fishes mail
Flashed as she went by
To her dancing-pool,
And on mirror cool
Of windless water played.
As a mist of light
In whirling flight
A glint like glass she made
Wherever her feet
Of silver fleet
Flicked the dancing-floor.

She looked on high
To the roofless sky,
And she looked to the shadowy shore;
Then round she went
And her eyes she bent
And saw beneath her go
A Princess Shee
As fair as Mee:
They were dancing toe to toe!

Shee was a light
As Mee, and as bright;
But Shee was, strange to tell,
Hanging down
With starry crown
Into a bottomless well!
Her gleaming eyes
In great surprise
Looked up to the eyes of Mee:
A marvellous thing,
Head-down to swing
Above a starry sea!

Only their feet
Could ever meet;
For where the ways might lie
To find a land
Where they do not stand
But hang down in the sky
No one could tell
Nor learn in spell
In all the elven-lore.

So still on her own
An elf alone
Dancing as before
With pearls in hair
And kirtle fair
And slippers frail
Of fishes’ mail went Mee:
Of fishes’ mail
And slippers frail
And kirtle fair
With pearls in hair went Shee

Enjoy.

[GeneD]

New poem, yeah! I started it in the car on the way to work and finished it last night in bed. The annoying thing about it was that I had to keep turning the light back on to write the next bit until I had completed it.

Life is…

the shadows in my review mirror
music from my radio
the power beneath the saddle
the sound of hoof on earth
the quiet turning of the hours
the seconds between being and birth.

Suddenly life goes by
with speed and power and grace.
We wave it on its way
and crumble silently to dust.
the quiet turning of the hours
the slow invasion of the rust.

the sweetness of a memory
weight of head on shoulder
the simple beauty of the rain
the ocean water white with foam
the quiet turning of the hours
the moment that You take me home.

[yukoxholic]

New poem, yeah! I started it in the car on the way to work and finished it last night in bed. The annoying thing about it was that I had to keep turning the light back on to write the next bit until I had completed it.

[B]Life is…]

the shadows in my review mirror
music from my radio
the power beneath the saddle
the sound of hoof on earth
the quiet turning of the hours
the seconds between being and birth.

Suddenly life goes by
with speed and power and grace.
We wave it on its way
and crumble silently to dust.
the quiet turning of the hours
the slow invasion of the rust.

the sweetness of a memory
weight of head on shoulder
the simple beauty of the rain
the ocean water white with foam
the quiet turning of the hours
the moment that You take me home.

I really love this poem of yours, it flows really well. The only part of 'Life Is' that I didn't think fit well were these two lines: the power beneath the saddle. the sound of hoof on earth This part kind of confused me and didn't seem to make much sense. Is it a daydream that's occuring? Since you're going from review mirror, to listening to the radio, and than those two lines come and I am left confused.

When I read it without the two lines, even with the lack of rhyme between stanzas it flowed better in my opinion but again this is a really great poem! Maybe, you can give me some insight on what you were meaning there

[Esoteric]

I'm not typically drawn to reading poetry, so I've overlooked this thread until now. Not bad...not bad, at all. Good pacing, good narration. I enjoyed reading several. You've got talent, keep it up!

Tolkien's Mewlips certainly grasps the unsettling dark of ancient places and things.
(in regards to your question about posting other people's stuff, it's typically fine as long as you tell who's it is, and have gotten their permission...at least I think that's what I remember reading in the guidelines. Of course, in Tolkien's case, that's a bit tough nowadays. )

[GeneD]

I really love this poem of yours, it flows really well. The only part of 'Life Is' that I didn't think fit well were these two lines: the power beneath the saddle. the sound of hoof on earth This part kind of confused me and didn't seem to make much sense. Is it a daydream that's occuring? Since you're going from review mirror, to listening to the radio, and than those two lines come and I am left confused.

When I read it without the two lines, even with the lack of rhyme between stanzas it flowed better in my opinion but again this is a really great poem! Maybe, you can give me some insight on what you were meaning there

Mmmm... Well I'm obviously going from a car to a horse(riding) image, I think the connection lies in that both are a means of transport with significant power and flow, but I’ll give it some thought. Who knows, maybe I’ll change it. ]I'm not typically drawn to reading poetry, so I've overlooked this thread until now. Not bad...not bad, at all. Good pacing, good narration. I enjoyed reading several. You've got talent, keep it up!

Tolkien's Mewlips certainly grasps the unsettling dark of ancient places and things.
(in regards to your question about posting other people's stuff, it's typically fine as long as you tell who's it is, and have gotten their permission...at least I think that's what I remember reading in the guidelines. Of course, in Tolkien's case, that's a bit tough nowadays. ) [/QUOTE]
Well I'm very glad you decided to check out mine and thank you for the compliments. As for the question I had, I've managed to clear it up in the new FAQ thread in the general section.

Thanks so much for the comments, I really appreciate them.

[Felix]

Oh wow! I share Esoteric's sentiments, about reading poetry; I've avoided this thread til' now as well, but just read everything and I'm quite impressed! if you don't mind, I'll give my opinions on everything.
(I'm impressed with the Tolkien poems, but I'm just gonna comment on yours.)

Hollow is amazing, one of my favorites. It reminds me of a Haiku, actually. If it was any longer, I think the effect would be lost. I really love short poems that have a strong quick point to them. Very nice job.

Sky throughout a rainy day is awesome. Great imagery, with the colors and all. Definitely has more effect when it's formatted correctly. It's wonderful!

Cold eyes is very very cool. Again, it has that short, punchy feeling that I love. Great job getting the scene across in such few words. I really like it.

String of words is quite possibly my favorite. ^^ I love all the great words you put in there, and how they flow together. It's really smooth and descriptive and works really well.

Of monkeybuts and roaches' breath had me cracking up. XD It's very funny and very well done. Nice job.

I scratch my sentiment about string of words being my favorite. This one has to be my favorite. I really love the theme here! And how you put it together with the 4 points. It has a sort of circular feel to it, as if you could keep repeating the poem over and over and it wouldn't lose any effect. Great job! I love this one.

And caterpillar is awesome! The formatting alone makes it great, but the choice of words just fits perfectly. Really nice job.

By now I'm running out of positive adjectives. XD I'll just say that Life Is... is also very very well done. Good imagery and nice rhythm!

[yukoxholic]

[quote="GeneD (post: 1198457)"]Mmmm... Well I'm obviously going from a car to a horse(riding) image, I think the connection lies in that both are a means of transport with significant power and flow, but I’]


Thank you for the clarification! I suppose I was dwelling too much on the line "the seconds between being and birth." that I was awaiting for something to transcend into the affect of "giving birth" either in thought, or person, or something in the mundane...

[GeneD]

Thanks for the comments Felix! I'm very glad you liked my poems. The following poem I wrote in a time of my life when I was feeling a bit invisible. Unfortunately I can't seem to get the 4th stanza right, so I'm posting both versions I have and let me know which one works better. It's called "AM".

AM

I am who I am
behind the reputation.
I am who I am
beneath prescheduled prejudice.
I am who I am
when you don’t know me.

Don’t look through me
like I’m made of glass.
Lest I be made of glass
and I break and fall.

Don’t walk by me
like I’m not there.
Lest the wind blow through me
and I disappear.

Option 1
Don’t darken your mind
like you’ve forgotten about me.
Lest my mind falls to night
and I forget myself.

Option 2
Don’t forget about me.
like I never drew breath
Lest I forget to breathe
Never life, never death.

I am who I am
reputation and all.
I am who I am
prejudice or not.
I am who I am
And that’s how you’ll know me.

This is just a random limerick I tried. It's fun and pointless, like candy.

There was a young lady from Peru
who had not one head but two
the one ate the other
so she grew another
and this one was pink, lime and blue.

[Felix]

Very nicely done! I like both options, though I think the second fits better with the flow and rhythm. For each of the first three stanzas, the second line has about 4-6 syllables, and in option one it has 7 syllables, so it throws it off a bit, but in option 2 it has 6 syllables and fits better. I also like the never life, never death line. Very nice.

Haha! That limerick is great. Very clever and well done. ^^

[fairyprincess90]

I love all your work! It's very nicely written! Good job!

[GeneD]

Thank you to everyone who read and commented on my poems. This is one from when I was...stuck in the repeating line/section thing. I quite like how it turned out though.

Ques¿?tions

What do you do with all the anger if you’re not allowed to hate
What do you do with your mistakes when you find out it’s too late
What do you do with life when it just won’t co-operate
What do you do with death when it’s standing at the gate

Where do you go when everyone goes on their own way
Where do you go between the death and the birth of day
Where do you go when your dreams all in pieces lay
Where do you go when you hear not what I say

Where will you be when the mountains fall into the sea
Where will you be when the world is set free
Where will you be when all the world needs thee
Where will you be when I need you here with me

This one I wrote in a class somewhere when I was 15. I don't know how I got through school, with all the time I spent writing poems and doodling in class. I was obviously upset about something...now if I can only remember what.

Ruined

At every turn
opportunity waits
to blunder through
like an overweight fly.

Blindly rushing without a thought
that others may feel affect
without a care
that others might just feel.

The burn of your dismissal
of disregard and no care
of expectations unseen
and chances ruined.

Lastly I need some help. I'm working on a poem, but I’m stuck since I can't think of any good words rhyming with "fill". Okay I have "until" or “till" but I need some more. If anyone can think of any, post them for me here, maybe they can help. Thanks.

[Hana Ryuuzaki]

[font="palatino Linotype"]Wow, Gene-chan. Just...wow.

My favorite is ", but quieter"
[/font]

[Sheenar]

What about "spill", "chill", "pill", "will", "fulfill"?
Do any of these help?

God has given you some talent, Gene. Well done.

[GeneD]

Thanks Sheenar and Hana-chan for the comments. And Sheenar for the rhyming ideas. I actually was thinking about "spill", but found a better line using "will". This is the poem I was stuck on. It's actually quite ironic since it's about stories/poems writing themselves/just coming to the author. So i finally finished it but it still doesn't have a title. I thought of simply calling it "Words" but that doesn't fit. So for now it is...

Untitled

Words that come unbidden,
to an open mind.
The story that tells itself,
to those who look to find.

Breathe in the open spaces
left for you to fill
Words by your hand,
ebb and flow as they will.

So be faithful to your story,
writing what you feel.
Then maybe in the letters,
you can find that which is real.

[Sheenar]

Very good!

[GeneD]

Thanks Sheenar. This I wrote when I was 16. It was inspired by an essay on villains I did for school. I like good bad guys.

Tribute Long Due

In every story, new and old
Praise goes to the heroes bold
But what of he with heart so cold
That does the innocent in terror hold.

Does he not too
For all the trouble he can do
Deserve some respect
For all his strategies laid out, perfect.

He is a man with a mission
No matter what his position
Keeps his goal in sight
And he never gives in without a fight.

He has no ego, but rightful pride
He lives for control, has nothing to hide
Not encouragement, but a tight rein
And, of course, he’s just a little bit insane.

He is essential to any story
Even though the hero gets all the glory
He works tirelessly behind the scenes
Making plans, moving pieces, cooking schemes.

I really appreciate a good crook
In every story, movie and book
So this is tribute long due
To every villainous one of you.

[Felix]

Ah, "Questions" is a great piece! I'm rather fond myself of using repeated line structure, and I think it really works well with this one. Those are some really good - and tough - questions there. I like how the poem doesn't really attempt to be sympathetic or try to give answers, it simply asks us what we'll do. very good stuff! ^^

"Ruined" is great. I particularly love the lines "to blunder through like an overweight fly." Great imagery there. Awesome job!

I love the Untitled/Words poem. It gives a great perspective on writing, which is very cool. I'm fascinated by words and stories, so I really liked this one. ^^

I really love the last one! XD It's nice to see the villains getting some respect! Really nice job :]

[MBlight]

Wow!!! You write so well! (well, I knew but I didn't, you know?) D, you really should put the villian essay on here, it was freakin' good!

[GeneD]

Wow!!! You write so well! (well, I knew but I didn't, you know?) D, you really should put the villian essay on here, it was freakin' good!

I know I said essay before, but if I remember correctly it was actually a speech. But since you insisted, hope it's worth the read:

What about the Bad Guys?

Everyone loves a hero! We love watching, listening and reading about them overcoming their enemies. They are always presented in a favourable light to gain the audiences support. But what about that enemy, the rival, the bad guy? What is their role in the story line?

A story whether movie, television series or book most of the time has a basic plot of good against evil. Usually our attention is on the ‘good’ side or rather the side we want to see win. But even though we don’t always notice it, the bad guy contributes to the story too. He/she enhances the goodie’s qualities and the audience is delighted at their defeat. Without the baddies there is no story, no purpose to the heroes’ efforts.

A weak villain is one of the worst things in a story. I don’t know about you but in movies for example, if there is a pathetic baddy it bothers me the whole movie through. A villain has to have an aloof, smug air considering themselves somewhat better than others. Instead of a childish ego they have high ambitions. Instead of encouragement they have control. Instead of notions they have strategy and cunning. They must be ruthless but not savage and, in some cases, have a touch of insanity.

There are always the cases when the ‘good guys’ are the ones doing something wrong, like robbing a bank. Why then, do we not support the people only trying to protect their rightful possessions? In this case, the ‘hero’ is given qualities like humour, a character people can relate to or a supposedly justifiable cause. The baddy is made greedy, mean or has a general disagreeable character, so that whatever is being done to them does not seem so bad.

On the whole an effective villain is just as important as the hero. Of course most of the time their sole purpose is to be beaten in the end, but they have to at least put up a good show before that happens. After all ‘daar moet ‘n vark in elke varhaal wees’ and I, for one, appreciate a good baddy.

Thanks for reading my stuff Blight. (Freak, it's weird calling you that!)

[Hana Ryuuzaki]

[font="palatino Linotype"]:lol:

That essay is really interesting!

Yeah, why are the "Good Guys" congratulated when they do something bad, but the "Bad Guys" are hunted down?

‘daar moet ‘n vark in elke varhaal wees’

And that means...?[/font]

[GeneD]

[font="palatino Linotype"]:lol:

That essay is really interesting!

Yeah, why are the "Good Guys" congratulated when they do something bad, but the "Bad Guys" are hunted down?

‘daar moet ‘n vark in elke varhaal wees’

And that means...?[/font]

Thanks Hana-chan!

My bad. That is an adaptation of an Afrikaans saying. It means there has to be a "bad guy" in every story. Directly translated: "vark" = "pig" and "verhaal" = "story/tale".

[GeneD]

I haven't written in a while, but I've finally got some new ones. They're both kind of morbid and I'm not exactly sure where they came from. I'm not happy with the 7th line in the first one, but I'll try to work on it. The second one is very short. I want to expand it, but haven't thought of the rest yet.

Peaceful/Pieceful

You look so peaceful
Lying there
Lying dead, over there.

Turned ever so slightly
The wrong way out
Back up, back up
No turning back.

Don’t fall asleep now
Fall to pieces
Puzzle bits of random heart
Lying dead with
Handfuls of piece.


Monster

Love is a monster
That will snap you in two.

Enjoy.

[Hana Ryuuzaki]

[font="palatino linotype"]*sighs* I quite admire morbid poetry!

^__^
I'm trying to decipher what the first poem's about, but my mind's done been a'sploded.[/bad grammar][/font]