Steve's Super advice for TEENAGERS

[Steve Racer]

So, this is completely my opinion and nothing else. Based on my experiences, so enjoy it.


1. Don't worry about what other people think of you

I spent so much time angsting about this pretty girl or that popular person liking me or not liking me... what a waste of time. I even lost sleep at night. Lots of people hated me cause I was different, I got picked on, and I wished so much they didn't. If I had only not cared a bit about these people whose opinions didn't even matter in my life, I would have actually enjoyed high school instead of being miserable. Keep this in mind: most of the "popular" people will end up working retail in a few years, or go to college and major in Sports Medicine or History and then work retail. Oh, and most of the gorgeous girls go for these guys, then get married and have to make all the money or are stuck and miserable.

2. Don't have serious romantic relationships

Why? Odds are they won't last anyway and you'll have spent hours of angst and time invested on something that won't be around when you graduate. Besides, most people change seriously from 15 to 22 or so. A lot of people are completely different by then, including things they like. They have learned the reality of life and don't have illusions they had in high school. So, someone you really really want at 17 even, you may not want at all by 22. You could have different goals and plans, be going different directions in life. Spend your time instead on things that you will keep all your life, hobbies, interests, skills, music... things that will stay with you. This leads me to...

3. Learn a skill that you will keep your whole life

When I was in my 20's I saw all these people that had played sports or music since they were kids and were really good at it and I felt dumb that I had never kept up with stuff like that 'cause I would be really good too. I started in high school playing guitar and now I love it. It has to be something you actually like too. Maybe it is painting, or singing, or making robots. Whatever it is, find something to stick with. You'll look back in a few years and be glad you did since you'll now kick butt at it.

4. Don't worry too much about grades

Look, there's a chosen few of us that are gifted as geniuses, let them stress about getting a 4.0 average. Otherwise, it is not worth the stress. I'm not saying blow off your grades, but a few B's and the occasional C won't hurt you. Why? 'Cause there is Community College. A great way to go that even costs less money is to first go to community college for two years, and then get really good grades there and transfer to a good 4 year college. Don't start living as an adult when you are still in high school with deadlines and stress. Enjoy your time, have fun with friends, do some clubs, pursue those interests I was telling you about. High school grades aren't really that huge of a deal unless you want to go to MIT or Berkeley. Even college grades aren't huge, most employers just want to know you have your degree. Sticking with it and finishing the degree is the major thing, do that.

5. Give some thought to what your parents say

Some stuff they say might seem totally uncool or lame, but there are actually some things they say that are dead on. If you just blow everything off and don't think about it, you'll have to learn some lessons the hard way. That really isn't much fun, trust me. So, even if what they say sounds totally ridiculous, just teach yourself to stop a moment and consider what they say before totally throwing it out. You'll be surprised at what you learn.

If only I had done these things when I was a teen, I would have had a much happier time. So I hope you'll give these a shot.

[Desu]

Heh the grades part made me laugh. If you're a white male and you don't have an "A" "B" average here in VA you don't get into a fairly good school. Community college isn't bad but I think we could argue that it's more like high school than college.

[Steve Racer]

Heh the grades part made me laugh. If you're a white male and you don't have an "A" "B" average here in VA you don't get into a fairly good school. Community college isn't bad but I think we could argue that it's more like high school than college.

I went to Fairfax High School in VA. I got my GED. I went to school for two years at a small college, and then transferred to George Mason University and got a degree in Computer Science. In... Virginia.

My ex went to NOVA for two years, then got into GMU and graduated Earth Systems Science, and then went on to get her Masters.

But that's not the point... the point is sometimes people end up working so hard in high school like its a full time job and don't enjoy their youth which won't last forever, that's the idea.

[Puguni]

In response to point one, I would rather go on with life without taking comfort in the fact that big shots in high school are not so much later. :/ It's like making yourself feel better because someone else has failed to achieve significant success. I think it's important to go beyond that, because it seems petty.

Heh the grades part made me laugh. If you're a white male and you don't have an "A" "B" average here in VA you don't get into a fairly good school. Community college isn't bad but I think we could argue that it's more like high school than college.

Your thinking is short sighted, but I kind of agree. "You shouldn't worry about it unless you are thinking about MIT or Berkeley;" that strikes me as, "Don't worry about trying to avoid academic mediocrity." Sure, some people are OK with it, but students are and have to be more ambitious to get what they want.

Also, I worked hard in high school, and I'm still working hard in college, but very much enjoying myself...in Virginia, lol. It's not hard to get a B average in Virginia though, unless you go to TJ, I suppose.

----------

Your points are indeed gathered from the view of a seasoned person, but they strike me as generalizing in some respects. Not all of these points are going to apply to everyone.

[K. Ayato]

I ain't a teenager anymore, but I'll still give out a "Hooah!" to you.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

In response to your first two points, I think it's just what being a teenager is all about. You can tell a teenager to not go do all that jazz, but one won't really learn on from another until they experience it. Stuff like that is emotionally straining, but that's how you may potentially learn from your mistakes.

As for your grades comment, you are incorrect. Grades do matter. If I had done better in school, I could have gotten more scholarships and possibly have taken some AP classes. If I have done those, I could: A. Do less work in because I have already done some of my requirements in Highschool, thus saving a LOT of money. B. Gain more scholarships and grants due to good grades. Not everyone has the privilege of having their parents help pay for college, you know. =\ Some people are entirely dependent on loans with a few minimal grants here or there to go to college. Paying all that off is going to be a huge pain in the butt when I'm out of school.

One of my biggest regrets is slacking off in school and not studying hard enough. If I had done better, I could have saved myself a lot of money as well as save myself from a lot of stress. I could have saved like... at least 40,000 dollars if I just decided to do better in highschool. 40,000 dollars. Many people in this country don't even make that much a year! You're telling me it's okay to lower your standards and then reap the consequences later?

If you're going to do something, you do your best at it. Period.

[Steve Racer]

As for your grades comment, you are incorrect. Grades do matter..

Well, thanks for your opinion, as I said, that's just what mine was.

Mine comes from years of teaching at the college level, getting my Bachelor's and Master's degrees, and teaching SAT prep classes to high school students.

The bottom line is, again, you don't have to have a 4.0 to be successful, and you don't have to kill yourselves to get good grades. The "real" world mostly just cares if you have your degree, not even really where you got it from or what your GPA was. There's tons of colleges you can go to.

[Steve Racer]

In response to point one, I would rather go on with life without taking comfort in the fact that big shots in high school are not so much later. :/ It's like making yourself feel better because someone else has failed to achieve significant success. I think it's important to go beyond that, because it seems petty.

No it's actually much deeper than that. It is saying that the priorities people have in high school usually do not lead to success in the real world. In other words, striving to be popular doesn't get you much. However, studying or learning a skill does have merit in the real world. It's not about looking down on people at all.

[Radical Dreamer]

As for your grades comment, you are incorrect. Grades do matter. If I had done better in school, I could have gotten more scholarships and possibly have taken some AP classes. If I have done those, I could: A. Do less work in because I have already done some of my requirements in Highschool, thus saving a LOT of money. B. Gain more scholarships and grants due to good grades. Not everyone has the privilege of having their parents help pay for college, you know. =\ Some people are entirely dependent on loans with a few minimal grants here or there to go to college. Paying all that off is going to be a huge pain in the butt when I'm out of school.

One of my biggest regrets is slacking off in school and not studying hard enough. If I had done better, I could have saved myself a lot of money as well as save myself from a lot of stress.

Definitely agreeing with this. Yes, you should have a social life while in high school, but grades should come first. So basically, quoted for truth. XD

[Danderson]

Agree with about all ur points (though on the grades thing, though we are told not to worry, that doesn't mean we shouldn't do our best).....

Just wanted to mention one point you didn't say:

Live your everything for Christ now and you'll see it's benefits big time when you get to your 40's....

[teen4truth]

Yay! I LOVE when people who have already been through things I'm going through give hindsight advice.
Thank you!

[Cognitive Gear]

I think this is great advice, and second it on all accounts. (If that means anything at all)

As for your grades comment, you are incorrect. Grades do matter....

Definitely agreeing with this. Yes, you should have a social life while in high school, but grades should come first. So basically, quoted for truth. XD

As for the topic of the grades advice:

Do note where his advice comes from. His experience in this field seems to be quite extensive. Also, I don't recall that he ever said that they don't matter,rather he said, "Don't worry too much about grades". Certainly we should work hard to get good grades, but they, like anything else in life, should not be all consuming as some people make them.

[Steve Racer]

I think this is great advice, and second it on all accounts. (If that means anything at all)





As for the topic of the grades advice:

Do note where his advice comes from. His experience in this field seems to be quite extensive. Also, I don't recall that he ever said that they don't matter,rather he said, "Don't worry too much about grades". Certainly we should work hard to get good grades, but they, like anything else in life, should not be all consuming as some people make them.

Exactly. Enjoy your youth while you have it folks! Trust God to get you into college or whatever he has for you -- you didn't have to be perfect to be saved did you?

[KhakiBlueSocks]

So, this is completely my opinion and nothing else. Based on my experiences, so enjoy it.


1. Don't worry about what other people think of you

I spent so much time angsting about this pretty girl or that popular person liking me or not liking me... what a waste of time. I even lost sleep at night. Lots of people hated me cause I was different, I got picked on, and I wished so much they didn't. If I had only not cared a bit about these people whose opinions didn't even matter in my life, I would have actually enjoyed high school instead of being miserable. Keep this in mind: most of the "popular" people will end up working retail in a few years, or go to college and major in Sports Medicine or History and then work retail. Oh, and most of the gorgeous girls go for these guys, then get married and have to make all the money or are stuck and miserable.

2. Don't have serious romantic relationships

Why? Odds are they won't last anyway and you'll have spent hours of angst and time invested on something that won't be around when you graduate. Besides, most people change seriously from 15 to 22 or so. A lot of people are completely different by then, including things they like. They have learned the reality of life and don't have illusions they had in high school. So, someone you really really want at 17 even, you may not want at all by 22. You could have different goals and plans, be going different directions in life. Spend your time instead on things that you will keep all your life, hobbies, interests, skills, music... things that will stay with you. This leads me to...

3. Learn a skill that you will keep your whole life

When I was in my 20's I saw all these people that had played sports or music since they were kids and were really good at it and I felt dumb that I had never kept up with stuff like that 'cause I would be really good too. I started in high school playing guitar and now I love it. It has to be something you actually like too. Maybe it is painting, or singing, or making robots. Whatever it is, find something to stick with. You'll look back in a few years and be glad you did since you'll now kick butt at it.

4. Don't worry too much about grades

Look, there's a chosen few of us that are gifted as geniuses, let them stress about getting a 4.0 average. Otherwise, it is not worth the stress. I'm not saying blow off your grades, but a few B's and the occasional C won't hurt you. Why? 'Cause there is Community College. A great way to go that even costs less money is to first go to community college for two years, and then get really good grades there and transfer to a good 4 year college. Don't start living as an adult when you are still in high school with deadlines and stress. Enjoy your time, have fun with friends, do some clubs, pursue those interests I was telling you about. High school grades aren't really that huge of a deal unless you want to go to MIT or Berkeley. Even college grades aren't huge, most employers just want to know you have your degree. Sticking with it and finishing the degree is the major thing, do that.

5. Give some thought to what your parents say

Some stuff they say might seem totally uncool or lame, but there are actually some things they say that are dead on. If you just blow everything off and don't think about it, you'll have to learn some lessons the hard way. That really isn't much fun, trust me. So, even if what they say sounds totally ridiculous, just teach yourself to stop a moment and consider what they say before totally throwing it out. You'll be surprised at what you learn.

If only I had done these things when I was a teen, I would have had a much happier time. So I hope you'll give these a shot.

Well said, good sir! Well said!

Win.

[Puguni]

No it's actually much deeper than that. It is saying that the priorities people have in high school usually do not lead to success in the real world. In other words, striving to be popular doesn't get you much. However, studying or learning a skill does have merit in the real world. It's not about looking down on people at all.

But you explicitly say:

Keep this in mind: most of the "popular" people will end up working retail in a few years, or go to college and major in Sports Medicine or History and then work retail. Oh, and most of the gorgeous girls go for these guys, then get married and have to make all the money or are stuck and miserable.

Because of this blurb, you imply one should comfort in the fact that popular kids will most likely be miserable later on in life. It's a popular reasoning among nerds, dorks, geeks, etc. But it's kind of grim for someone to think: "I don't have to worry about the 'popular kids' liking me now because they're likely to become miserable and possibly losers in the future." At most, pity would be appropriate.

I totally hear you that popularity isn't the secret to success, but I have reservations about predicting how anyone's life will turn out. D: People are frustratingly complex when you least expect it.

[K. Ayato]

Guys, keep it cool. He was only expressing what he himself had picked up over the years. True, there will be exceptions to the rules, but I'm sure bashing or discouraging other readers was not his intent.

[Sheenar]

Also, when you get to college study hard and do well in your classes, but don't hole up in your dorm all the time studying. The richness of the college experience comes from relationships with people. I've made my best and closest friends in college. So be sure to get involved on your campus and go out and meet people!
And definitely consider doing summer missions. Your college years are your most available and open years. A few missions organizations:
Go Now Missions http://www.gonowmissions.org
I Go Global (Don't remember the address...Google it)
International Mission Board http://www.imb.org
North American Mission Board http://www.namb.org

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Keep this in mind: most of the "popular" people will end up working retail in a few years, or go to college and major in Sports Medicine or History and then work retail. Oh, and most of the gorgeous girls go for these guys, then get married and have to make all the money or are stuck and miserable.

And what is wrong with being a popular person? Even if they are "popular" as you so describe, I don't find it very fitting to generalize that they'll all end up working and be "unsuccessful". I know a good number of people who were those "popular" kids that are in college and doing good in school. You say this is based on your experiences, but your experiences are biased because they're only from your perspective and cannot be used as a variable of truth since it's not based upon any statistic.

[Mave]

Erm....but I don't think being in retail is a sign of being unsuccessful. I've never worked there but I hope that we never have to categorize jobs in such a manner.

But I am in agreement that there are certain things in school that are meaningless.

1) I'm not against popularity if you're popular for the right thing.

2) I agree with avoiding romantic relationships due to my pathetic experience of dating when I was too young and the observation that all high school romances never worked out (and I mean, all the couples I used to know).

3) Learning a skill is a good idea and will probably bring a lot of fulfillment when you're a working adult. ^^

4) Yeah don't worry about grades TOO much with the condition that you should always strive to do your best (study, you must haha). From my experience, the real world also values other skills such as work experience, creativity, networking, social skills, public speaking and time management. Let's put it this way:

Your grades helps you get selected for interviewing but it won't necessarily get you the job.

So what I did was strive to be as good as possible in all relevant areas of my target career. My target job required at least a Master degree, internship experience and strong presentation skills. So that's what I did to get my current job. Oh wait, there was God's blessing involved too. [What? You think I did all this by myself? No way, God's Hand was part of it.] The question now is what is your target job/life ambition.

5) Oh, yes. Definitely. My parents can drive me nuts sometimes but they mean well and they are a wealth of information whether you like to admit it or not.

[Mangafanatic]

I agree with the overall tone of your advice: Don't commit too much. Don't stress too much. Don't grow up too fast. However, I would challenge one point for the sake of fairness.

I think perhaps that your comments about popular people are a little unfair. Popular people are people, too. I think mediocre teen-angst ridden movies have led us to believe that all popular people are simply undeserving nasty people. However, there are a lot of great people who are popular-- hence their popularity. The homecoming court for my class this year (college class), for instance, contained, without exception, eight of the funnest and most welcoming people I know. The are popular. They are not vicious people looking to force the little guy down.

Furthermore, nobody lives a fairy tale after high school-- this is true. Homecoming queens don't live in castles, but no one does. No one, no matter how popular or unpopular is going to have a cookie cutter/"Leave it to Beaver" life after school. However, there are loads of popular people who will live largely happy lives and who will continue to be liked and well thought no matter where they go. Your popularity does not determine the amount of contentment you will achieve in your life, nor does it dictate how much happiness you deserve to experience.

Jesus love popular people too. XD

[Okami]

Jesus love popular people too. XD

QFT

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Another point.

on't start living as an adult when you are still in high school with deadlines and stress.

At this day and age, you kind of have to. College applications, financial aid, and the overall "preparing for college" routine isn't exactly a walk in the park. Nobody is going to do it for you and doing it without any idea of what you're supposed to do just leads to a lot of stress and deadlines. And of course, it's not too different afterwards during school.

[skylender]

Steve racer's point is, most popular folk let popularity go to their heads, No where in his post does he say: "ALL POPULAR PEOPLEZ ARE EVUL".

[mechana2015]

A point I would like to make about grades...
I graduated with a 3.6 and College credits. I don't consider myself overworked and I would say that socially, my high school life was as entertaining as my college life. This was partially DUE to my high grades though.

Due to my status as an AP student I was friends with the most analytical, intelligent and entertaining people in the school, as well as the teachers with that group, who were more motivated, humorous, intellectual and friendly. This was the group that put on full student led musicals, led the band for trips to other states and led the athletic teams I was on. We built catapults and rockets, and took regular field trips to theme parks. We missed more class than any other group in the school due to activities and got away with it without penalty.

This may be out of the ordinary, but it was my experience that the higher GPA group did more of the fun stuff in high school than the lower GPA groups, therefore I associate a 3.0 or better with having a better experience overall. I would honestly worry about grades less in college. (I do)