I... dunno. @__@; There's gonna be a long ramble here. So... just a warning.
Well... first off, there's just been a lotta... not happy stuff in my life. Well, not that my life like.. sucks. or anything, it's just... personal things, I guess? Lately I feel like I'm really realizing how lonely I am. Like... I don't feel close to anyone, and that I don't really have anyone to go to.
Or like, I dunno, in my spiritual life and stuff I have so many ups and downs and it's like... I dunno, not good. xD; Like, right now I'm in one of my downs, and... yeah. I haven't been reading my Bible lately or going to the like. Weekly Youth group meeting things... and, I dunno, it's like... what bothers me is that God related group meeting things with other Christians or whatever make me feel really uncomfortable and isolated and stuff. Things that should make Christians feel all happy and regenerated or whatnot don't help me as much as I thought they would. Like... for example the summer camp thing? That didn't help me as much as people said it would, and it makes me feel like that odd one out.
Like... I'm doing something weird. Or I'm just really... different in general, or something. xD;
Or... lately, my view towards life is rather... lackluster. Like I don't really feel excited about much lately, and it's just... I dunno, I can't seem to get into anything. And I once again blame stuff on my thought stickies because they're annoying "what ifs," that're that and completely random and dumb and it just.. like. messes with my train of thought. Like, it's gotten to the point where it feels like I can't FUNCTION without the constant thinking.
It's... bothersome. xD;
All in all... it just... I dunno, no motivation. Really lonely and I don't really feel like I connect with anyone, Christians or not. It's.. well, bothersome, to use the word again. xD;
Prayer would be great. <3