SnEptUne wrote:It is nice that you get to see a counselor. I could never trust anyone enough to see what is in my mind. Even if I was tested, it is all an act.
My depression is getting worse these days. Even though I understand that God loves me, I cannot love myself. I often felt hopeless in this corrupted society and my broken useless self. But at any rate, life is short, so I will endure until it is time for me to die.
Alexander wrote:Truthfully, I don't trust many of them either. And because I'm an aspie that works even less in their favor. However, I'm trying to look for someone who understand aspie positions best so I can try to find a way to help myself better. Not only that, but because my life is now on the edge of a knife, I no longer have a choice.
Sn, would you mind if I sent you a PM? Ever since you arrived here I've felt a colder atmosphere around you. Like a chest that looks worn on the outside and has many secrets on the inside. I'd love to chat with you some time if you're available.
Also, above all else, don't stay in your depression. Believe me, it isn't worth it in any sense of the world. Yes, life is short, but time extends its reach ten times when you're depressed.
P.S. I've asked my church to pray for you Okami. Hold on to Him, as we're all trying to do.
Also, staying in depression
dancergirl0227 wrote:*sighs* alright this might seem a little dumb for me to be depressed over but I am. Well first I found out something that I can't really say until a given time. And The other thing is, the guy I like, and I mean really REALLY like, got a new girlfriend. And this is the second one that he's had this year. There's nothing wrong with him having a girlfriend, it's just...I guess I'm a little jealous. And there's nothing I can do, because this other girl makes him happy, and I would rather see him happy, but he doesn't know how hurt I feel. and I don't think he would really understand if I told him how I felt. I mean he's a nice friend, and sometimes I can feel open with him, but like stuff like this I feel like I need to keep it to myself. With his other girlfriend I got mad at him, and refused to talk to him, now I'm not gonna do that because it was no good the first time. But I feel really depressed because he knows how that I like him, and to me it's like he doesn't really care. I'm not sure if I just want to give up, because I can't. But it's just depressing that the guy I like kind of ignored my feelings, and is now dating another girl.
dancergirl0227 wrote:*sighs* alright this might seem a little dumb for me to be depressed over but I am. Well first I found out something that I can't really say until a given time. And The other thing is, the guy I like, and I mean really REALLY like, got a new girlfriend. And this is the second one that he's had this year. There's nothing wrong with him having a girlfriend, it's just...I guess I'm a little jealous. And there's nothing I can do, because this other girl makes him happy, and I would rather see him happy, but he doesn't know how hurt I feel. and I don't think he would really understand if I told him how I felt. I mean he's a nice friend, and sometimes I can feel open with him, but like stuff like this I feel like I need to keep it to myself. With his other girlfriend I got mad at him, and refused to talk to him, now I'm not gonna do that because it was no good the first time. But I feel really depressed because he knows how that I like him, and to me it's like he doesn't really care. I'm not sure if I just want to give up, because I can't. But it's just depressing that the guy I like kind of ignored my feelings, and is now dating another girl.
Alexander wrote:*sighs*
Depression, is getting tiring with me. Everyday, and all day, I feel constantly sick like being under a light cold. Doing anything requires a great amount of self-will and even then I don't get very far.
I would love it to stop. I think anyone would agree with that notion. But it keeps eating away at me, and I know material objects or my interests help little.
I'm tired of my mind slipping and having to battle back and fourth with suicide. I'm a complete wreck who can barely muster up enough energy to pray let alone try to be happy.
I'd like to be happy again for more then just five or ten minutes a day. People might say I'm acting like "the hopeless romantic" but I'd like to get married in 4 or 5 years. Yes, there are a lot of people out there who don't need to get married, but I believe at least a few people do. The lonely ones at least.
I would like to smile again. And to feel the warmth of someone again. I miss those times. I miss them greatly.
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