Dating: What's its Purpose? Why do it?

[Okami]

The dating scene is absolutely huge at my highschool.
Personally, I'd rather be attached to my two best friends than be with a guy right now...
It's actually kind of dangerous at my school, dating-wise, I've heard a lot of stories in the past year where relationships were taken too far intimately, only ultimately to fail. Knowing that sort of thing is around, well...I just can't trust myself nor can I trust myself with the responsibility to hold onto a guy without doing something I'd regret.
I'm so fresh to my new life, why waste myself and go back, and become, maybe, worse off than I'd been before?
I'd rather just not risk it. My hormones are much too hyperactive right now.
Hm, so that's why I haven't felt the activity of my ADHD lately...

Not that dating is bad, I just don't think it's right for me. *shrug*

[Etoh*the*Greato]

And one of the keys to dating, my friends, is if you do not want to don't. When said, it sounds silly or stupid that I should even need to mention it, but mang is it difficult to get caught up in the societal demands.

If you're not ready or not up for it you're no one any favors by dating. It's better for you - it's better for them.

[Nate]

I thought for sure this thread would be full of replies, but perhaps it's best this way. Now I don't have to say things I might regret later. XD

To the original poster:

Jon, you seem like a good kid, with your priorities straight. As you've seen from this thread, "What is the purpose of dating?" is a question that no one can answer for you. Everyone has their own take on it. To some people, dating is getting intimate with a chick, hoping maybe to get some sex. That's the purpose of dating to them.

To others, that have posted in this thread as you have seen, dating is a journey to find a guy or girl they can spend the rest of their lives with and serve God with. It's a God-centered relationship to test the waters for marriage. That's what dating is to them (and me).

Dating is what you make of it, my friend. We can't answer what dating is for you. That's a question you have to answer yourself.

But, if I, a guy who's 26 and had only one relationship that was a total failure may give some advice, I have only this to say.

No matter what you do, dating, not dating, "courting," whatever...always make sure God is at the helm of it. It doesn't matter what a bunch of people on an internet forum say, it only matters what God says. Listen to God, no matter what He tells you.

And He might tell you some crazy stuff. God has told crazy stuff to people before. "Go kill your son." "Go find the dirtiest prostitute you can and marry her." "Even though you've never had sex, you're pregnant." Crazy stuff, man.

So just remember, always do what God says. If God says, "Date 50 girls," then man, you'd better go date fifty girls! If God says, "Don't date anyone at all," you'd sure as heck better not date anyone. It's all about what God wants, and God may want you to go places you don't want to. I didn't want the heartbreak that came from my relationship ending. But guess what? God made me suffer it, so that I could become a better person. He might lead you into relationships with women that hurt. But God does everything for a reason.

So in the end, what anyone here says...doesn't matter. It only matters what God says.

[KhakiBlueSocks]

Nate, I do belive that's THE wisest thing I've ever heard you say before since I been here!

You know, I've always heard that God will use the Foolish thing to confirm the wisest thing. Here's living proof!

[Okami]

Amen to that, Khaki

[Debitt]

High five to the Natester~ :3 Very very well said.

[Saj]

*hands nate a cookie*


Very well said sir. I agree completely.

[Blitzkrieg1701]

Bravo!

[jon_jinn]

Nate, i think you pretty much answered my initial question. i don't think i really thought of dating that way. thanks for the words of advice and wisdom.

[SnoringFrog]

No matter what you do, dating, not dating, "courting," whatever...always make sure God is at the helm of it. It doesn't matter what a bunch of people on an internet forum say, it only matters what God says. Listen to God, no matter what He tells you.

And He might tell you some crazy stuff. God has told crazy stuff to people before. "Go kill your son." "Go find the dirtiest prostitute you can and marry her." "Even though you've never had sex, you're pregnant." Crazy stuff, man.

So just remember, always do what God says. If God says, "Date 50 girls," then man, you'd better go date fifty girls! If God says, "Don't date anyone at all," you'd sure as heck better not date anyone. It's all about what God wants, and God may want you to go places you don't want to. I didn't want the heartbreak that came from my relationship ending. But guess what? God made me suffer it, so that I could become a better person. He might lead you into relationships with women that hurt. But God does everything for a reason.

So in the end, what anyone here says...doesn't matter. It only matters what God says.

Amen. To the quote and the entire post. Beautifuly phrased Nate.

[Jman]

To Me, Dating someone is ultimately the idea to find someone to marry, so obviously if your not ready to marry, why would you want to date?

that is advice i still have to learn from.

but that's only in my humble opinion.

[Azier the Swordsman]

I'm going to ask a question of my own to you guys:
To what extent is it right to just sit and passively wait for God to hand over your soul mate? Should we go about our daily lives patiently? Or do we take a chance with someone you know and are attracted to? Or does it depend?

First off, I fully agree with the above. I will get to why in a second.

Also, I have never dated.

I do not believe dating is bad. I believe dating is good.

The reason I have never dated is simply because I've never met anyone of whom I really felt like; "Wow! She may be the one! I really need to check this out!" I find it pointless to attempt something that I don't honestly see any hope of ever turning into anything more.

Dating to find a soulmate is not bad, however.

The way some people do it is. Dating should not be used in the manner that some like to play it as, changing partners every few weeks.

Dating should be kept solely for if you have a strong and genuine interest in the other person.

I personally find that any time God has specific plans in my life, he never ever just hands it to me on a silver platter. I have to do some work on my part. He isn't necessarily just show me the dream then give it to me.

Instead, he will open doors and see if I'm willing to take the risk and go through the door and find out where it leads. Maybe it isn't from God. It won't work out, but at least I did take that chance and find out, rather than spending the rest of my life wondering what might have been. I've done my part and proved to God I was willing to take a risk and find out for sure whether it was his will or not, and sometimes he does test us like that.

If it's not God, it won't turn into anything. If it is... you fill in the rest.

Point is...

God is not necessarily going to just hand you your soulmate either.

You may be required to make an actual effort to woo that person, and yes, date them. *gasp!*

I know that when I find that special someone someday, you better believe I'm not going to be sitting around waiting perpetually for signs from above.

You can sit back if you want to, with your divinely inspired copy of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", and wait to get that lucky break.

And, hey. Maybe God will honor your commitment and bring that right person into your path.

But don't knock dating completely just because of one guy's opinion.

[Jman]

I was like wondering, like for those who aren't dating and like waiting and all that stuff, like, How do you know when your ready?

[Azier the Swordsman]

I was like wondering, like for those who aren't dating and like waiting and all that stuff, like, How do you know when your ready?

When you meet the right one, I'm pretty sure you'll just know.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

I like this Azier, "You can sit back if you want to, with your divinely inspired copy of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", and wait to get that lucky break."

Absolutely hilarious! It's seems every Christian thinks Joshua Harris is the love guru god. What happened to reading the Bible. Harris's book isn't gospel, just one man's opinion, so be discerning and treat it as such.

[Nikolai Melodie]

I somewhat agree with Nate. I mean, I think somewhere out there, there's some really awesome guy who is doomed to end up married to me someday. That's cool, but if he ever ends up reading this, he should know that I'm not planning on dating until I'm 19 or so and in college.

Plus, I have no idea who that person in question is. Ideally, I'd like to be engaged exiting college and then marry once things are stable but I doubt it'll end up that way. I don't really know, it's all so far off.

But, either way, it goes like this. I don't know how many guys I'll date, but when I do end up dating, I want God to be behind it. If I date one and I get some sort of sign and I just know he's the one, then he's the one. If not...then not. It's all about what God wants.