Ok...i'm sick of this. I'm pretty sure it's a phobia, what else could it be? Irrational fear right? well, it's getting worse. I think I have a phobia of loose moving things (ceiling fan chains, swings, etc) and confined moving water (ocean, pool, spa, coffe or tea being stirred, etc.) The phobia comes and goes. I don't know what triggers it, but soemtimes i'm just fine with that stuff, but then, like today...I'm at work at the moment, I'm the front desk clerk of a motel...by the water...I have to clean the jacuuzi when i get here, so there's the moving water. but...that's not what majorily gets me...it's the moving blinds (the long vertical ones...not the horizontal ones) and the fan and air conditioners move them...or doors opening, or whatever. And i'm in the middle of a panic attack. I feel like screaming, I'm twitching, and almost in tears. I've prayed. Told myself that things moving is ok. Said that to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. =_= nothing's working. any advice?
my parents suspect it's hidden trama from when i was in CA when the big earthquake hit...i think it was '89? anyway, my mom said i was out on my swingset standing on top of the slide about to go down when it started. she tried to get up to get me but couldn't due to the earthquake. I dunno. my fear has increased steadily throughout the years...and it's finally affecting my life. ;-; please...help...anyone? I'm afraid to see a doctor cause 1) no insurance for anything, 2) i'm afraid it will limit the jobs i can get, 3) what if there's nothing that can be done.