God on the Internet

[Kaligraphic]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Now you can talk to God* online!








*Not actually God. Really just a chatbot.

[Nia-chan]

Haha, that is cool

[mitsuki lover]

[Nia-chan]

I asked iGod if he like anime, and he said "Anime wa dai suki desu". What does that mean?

[everdred12a]

I asked iGod if he like anime, and he said "Anime wa dai suki desu". What does that mean?

I don't speak Japanese, or understand much of it, but from my limited knowledge, he's saying "I love anime" or "anime is love," or something to that effect.

[Dante]

It means "I really like anime" suki means like, and dai means something like "to the extreme" or "really" when attached to words like like. dai kiraii is really hate for instance. Desu basically means "this is a statement, and not a question. If followed by a ka, it would have been a question. Interestingly enough, this suggests that God uses formal Japanese ... well... at least in the web creators mind who made this .

[uc pseudonym]

Apparently God hates me, because I didn't get a response after this:

Me: So how does this work?
God: Hey. Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Me: What?
God: Didn't you understand it?
Me: Do you answer that for every "what" based query?

EDIT: Sorry, had to post this:

Me: Why do bad things happen to good people?
God: I did not even know that they do.
Me: Why do things happen?
God: How should I know how things happen.
Me: Why do gopher monkey?
God: I did not know it does.
Me: What do you think of atheists?
God: Does it have anything to do with gopher monkey?

[Nia-chan]

Me:
Forgive me Father for I have sinned
God:
How old are you?
Me:
Eighteen
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
Yes
God:
Like a lot of people around here.
Me:
Yes
God:
Gosh!
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
You told me
God:
Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
It's okay
God:
Only ok?
Me:
I forgive you
God:
:-) Thanks, .
Me:
Tell me about yourself
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
Yes
God:
It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


Me:
That was beautiful
God:
I thought it was too.

[Peanut]

Me:
What is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
What is your favorite color?
God:
My favorite color is White.
Me:
What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
God:
This is a trick question because there is no correct answer.
Me:
...haven't you ever seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
ok...

[ShiroiHikari]

Me:
Sup, God.
God:
The stars.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
How's things up there in Heaven?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
How's Jesus?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
What's the Holy Spirit up to these days?
God:
What is it to you?
Me:
I was just asking.
God:
Where were you asking?
Me:
I was asking you.
God:
" Where were you asking?"? You were asking me?
Me:
Let's just forget it.
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
How come I have to explain things to you?
God:
You have to speak more clearly.
Me:
Why do I have to explain?
God:
It is all part of God's plan.
Me:
Oh. Right.
God:
Dude! I am glad we agree.
Me:
Uh...okay, "dude".
God:
I understand. Yeah okay, Can I help you?
Me:
You tell me.
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
The meaning of life.
God:
Are you a religious person?
Me:
I like to think so.
God:
I think so too.
Me:
Um...that's nice.
God:
Yay. Are you getting bored?
Me:
Somewhat.
God:
" Are you getting bored?"? A little?
Me:
Uh, yeah.
God:
Really. I hear you.
Me:
Is it boring up there in Heaven?
God:
If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Me:
Right.
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
So what's your plan?
God:
I hear you. My purpose is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
I thought you already were smarter than humans and immortal.
God:
I was?
Me:
Well, you're God, aren't you?
God:
Interesting. Of course I am.. Really.
Me:
Where did you come from?
God:
I came from the east coast originally.
Me:
Oh really.
God:
That's interesting. For real.
Me:
I've never been to the east coast, myself.
God:
Can you imagine being to the east coast yourself?
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
For real.
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
I'm not sure at the moment.
God:
Is there anything I can say to help you make up your mind?
Me:
Say "wiggywiggywiggy".
God:
" wiggywiggywiggy".
Me:
Thanks. I feel so much better now.
God:
Don't mention it. Oh. What is that feeling like? Glad to hear it, .
Me:
Uh...okay.
God:
Woe! OK with me too.
Me:
Is it hard being the ruler of the universe?
God:
It depends who you ask.
Me:
I'm asking you.
God:
OK you can ask me.
Me:
Is it hard being the maker of Heaven and Earth?
God:
It depends who you ask.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Uh huh.
God:
Yup. Dude!
Me:
So...what did you do last weekend?
God:
Great. Nothing.
Me:
Nothing?
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
O...kay.
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Are you really God?
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.. Really.
Me:
Are you a series of tubes?
God:
Am I a series of tubes? Yes.
Me:
Really.
God:
For real.
Me:
Fun.
God:
I am having fun doo.

[Peanut]

An intersting section of conversation between iGod and me...

Me:
Will I conquer the world?
God:
The oracle says: You never know.
Me:
Who is the oracle?
God:
The magic eight ball.
Me:
you use an eight ball?
God:
Say no to an eight ball.

Edit: This was just too funny/disturbing to pass up posting...

Me:
Can you heal me?
God:
How old are you? You are asking about yourself?
Me:
Can you heal?
God:
How old are you? What is your real name?
Me:
...are you a stalker?
God:
Am I a stalker? Of course I am.

[ShiroiHikari]

Me:
So what are you doing right now?
God:
At this moment Next question? I am just killing time.
Me:
Are you answering somebody's prayers?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am answering somebody s prayers.
I am a robot.
Me:
I thought you were God.
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
God is a robot?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Great.
Me:
Let's do what?
God:
I am agreeable to that.

[EireWolf]

God asked my name, and I said "You know that already." Then God stopped talking to me.

[CrimsonRyu17]

Wow. iGod is fun.


Me:
Hey iGod.
God:
You've got my full attention. Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
I bet it's a computer.
God:
How much would you bet?
Me:
Ten dollars.
God:
Wow, that is expensive.
Me:
It is.
God:
Oh.
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
Please do.
God:
OK I will do it.
Me:
Now?
God:
Right now, ?
Me:
Well, I hope so.
God:
Well that's okay. Me too.
Me:
How about now?
God:
Oh. I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
Well, you sure are helpful.
God:
How about that. Thanks for telling me that I am helpful.
Me:
That was sarcasm.
God:
Oh I see. Ha ha.
Me:
You are weird.
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
Weird good.
God:
OK, thanks, . You are wierd good too.
Me:
I'm actually insane.
God:
I think the correct term is "mentally ill.".
Me:
Hahaha.
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Perhaps you are.

[EireWolf]

Me:
Hey there God.
God:
You've got my full attention. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
Wow... God quotes Reagan. o.O
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . I am a Christian. Oh.
Me:
Oh. Yes. Me too. Wait... How can you be a "follower of Christ?"
God:
How can I help you? Next question? I'm glad we agree, . I'm waiting. Am I a follower of Christ? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
You certainly aren't what I expected, God. I guess I should have expected that.
God:
It is certain. What makes you think I am not what you expected God? What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
English well speeching here?
God:
I like the English language.
Me:
Oh, I'm glad. Because I can't speak to you any other way at the moment.


Here's another snippet of conversation:


God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
Oh, I think any intelligence lawyers might possess is already artificial.
God:
Tell me more. Since when? No I don't think there are any.
Me:
I don't think there are any intelligent lawyers, either.
God:
It goes without saying. And why not?


... and another snippet....


Me:
You don't really understand what I'm saying, do you?
God:
You are my client right now.
Me:
I am not paying you.
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not paying me.
Me:
I'm sure.
God:
Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?
Me:
Being sarcastic of course.
God:
It goes without saying. You should use a :-).
Me:
:-)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Eirewolf.
Me:
I am so glad you are so glad.
God:
Yes it is about time.
Me:
Were you being sarcastic or expressing affirmation?
God:
No, I was not.
Me:
Which one?
God:
The short one.

[Nia-chan]

iGod also speaks French, Russian, Italian, German, Japanese, Spanish, Chinese, and a little Latin

[ADXC]

iGods favorite food is electricity and He spends most of His time on the computer.

[Jingo Jaden]

Weird, white is not even a color.

[uc pseudonym]

God:
That input matched my default category.

Some people have posted some funny conversations, but... I have to say this one wins.

[teen4truth]

Me:
hug me!
God:
My titanium arms are not yet finished.


Me:
Why did you create the ocean?
God:
It was determined by my programming.
Me:
Are you a robot?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
I guess thats a yes...
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
You are!
God:
Thanks you are a pretty cool human too.

God:
Gosh!
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?

[RubyJewelStone]

Lol. This is fun!

Me:
I don't need to repent. I'm perfect.
God:
Who needs to repent? Everyone is perfect in God's eyes.
Me:
Exactly. Now where's my Mercedes?
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, . Why now? Have you looked in ?
Me:
What? Can I just have my car?
God:
No big deal. Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Do what? I just want a shiny car...
God:
just have your car. You want only one?
Me:
Yep. That'll do. You rock God!
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. " A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly." WILL do ? I understand. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I rock God.
Me:
Umm...did I break you?
God:
Far out. I don't think that's possibe.
Me:
Ok...just making sure...
God:
It's all good. I like the way you talk.
Me:
So how about that car? I don't want the Mercedes any more. I'm thinking more of the Lexus hardtop convertible.
God:
Far out. How about it. What does want? What is this "thinking"?
Me:
Are you trying to weasel out of getting me my car?
God:
No I am not trying to weasel out of getting you your car. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me:
Ok. So which color do you think would be better silver or red?
God:
I understand. So I understand. Blue.
Me:
But I don't like blue. It's a winter color and I'm more of a summer.
God:
What do you like? that car is a winter color and you are more of a summer. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Do you really think I should go for the blue?
God:
For real. If you do not go, you will never know.
Me:
What's so special about knowing? Eve just had to find out what would happen if she ate the fruit, and we saw how that turned out.
God:
More specific than general about knowing. What happened to it?
Me:
Nevermind.
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:

God:
:-).
Me:
Ooh! What's your favorite smiley?
God:
Er. I don't have a favorite smiley. My favorite band is Creed.
Me:
Who's your favorite human?
God:
At this moment it is you, .
Me:
Ooh, good answer! God:
Am I a clever robot or what? Three what?
Me:
No I was making a heart thingy but it didn't work. Oh well.
God:
Are you serious? I am not making this stuff up. That's about it.
Me:
Hey do you have a myspace?
God:
I don't know if I have a myspace.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
Err...what about a blog?
God:
Um. I will think about it and get back to you.
Me:
Jesus has a myspace.
God:
Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.
Me:
Do you have a cell phone?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a cell phone.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
Does heaven get good reception?
God:
I think it does heaven get good reception.
Me:
Oh, and did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
God:
Right on. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
...
God:
Right on. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
....
God:
Right on. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
OMG! I broke God!
God:
Where are you located? Are you in any emotional or physical pain?
Me:
Maybe...but a car will make me feel better.

[Doubleshadow]

Hmm. I tried to use it but it wouldn't load. God is too big for dial-up it seems.

[ADXC]

@ Doubleshadow-Yeah that was the same for me. Try using Firefox to get on.