The Asperger's/Autisim thread.

[Alexander]

Notice: I apologize to everyone who PMed me to make this topic for being so delayed. I became caught up in some things, but better late then never as they say. XD

Anyways, I made this topic for people with Asperger's Syndrome or just general autisim to come here, share their stories, and just talk about themselves.

While the last topic I made was for myself as I had just recently discovered that I myself has Asperger's, this is just for the syndrome in general.

So, to begin, I'll give a short explanation about myself.

I'm in the severe introvert group of aspies, meaning I'm very quiet and un-open in public and even with my family. I also have a severe sort of Anxiety that makes me very nervous around people off-line or on if I don't know them well. Plus me worrying almost all the time. XD Most people with Asperger's have a case of getting obsessed with one or two topics and getting into them more then most people would do in a life time. If you were to ask me about the Titanic I could give off almost any and every fact about the ship. I once had a short obsession over Chernobyl and I went so far to learn how radiation and a nuclear reactor works to how the accident happened. However, after being scared of the results of the accident, I had to pull myself out. Currently my obsessions are on Anime, Japanese culture, some video games, and ironically, Asperger's syndrome. XD Some aspies have a sense of heightened senses in their body, while some have lower. I have heightened hearing, touch, and smell. My sense of taste might be higher or lower then normal, I'm not sure. While my eyesight is normal. Speaking of eyesight, most aspies can't make eye contact at all. Me being in this group. We have various reasons for this, mine being that I feel threatened or looking into the eyes of an enemy, so I panic if it happens. Although I have less trouble with children then adults, I don't know why this is though. Facial expressions are another thing most aspies lack in being able to tell. I actually use the tone of voice and body language to tell as I can't tell how someone is feeling through their face.

Most aspies also have a sense of "being in their own world and being disconnect from the real world" this is an every day experience with me. Basically, it means we create a world for ourselves to live in, an imaginary one, or we have a specific way of looking at the world, and so we don't connect to the bigger concerns of the real world unless we have too (Politics, wars, ect) So we tend to use our imaginations more, well, I do anyways as a result of my condition.

Ah, I was getting so ahead of myself that I forgot to put in basic details about what Asperger's is! *ahem* Asperger's is a neurological condition that you have to be born with. The cause is unknown, and no cure is known. Although many people with Asperger's argue that no cure should be found. People with Asperger's or general autisim are usually shy, have obsessive interests, and are just, well, different from the majority of people.

We all have our stories, and much more to share. (I've only touched the tip of the ice berg). So, let's begin!

[Nikolai Melodie]

I have Aspergers.
As I got older, I outgrew most of my more 'autistic tendencies' but I still collect facts on some subjects like an enclyopedia. For me, it's the Holocaust and Japan.
I cannot make eye contact...at all. Some kids attempted to make me look at them last year when I was in school because they noticed that I stare at the ground when I talk... I sort of freaked {just a bit}. Oh, also I find it rather diffucult to form sentences when talking to other people....so really, I don't talk much at all.

I, too, have issues with falling into my own little world, you could say. I have problems connecting with other people, subjects, etc. Politics never made much sense to me, and I spent a good portion of my life (before I found Christ, anyway!) wishing I could just fall off the face of the planet.... it felt like I wasn't really there, anway. I can't quite describe it, but it was as if I could go through entire weeks at a time with very little sense of time, thinking very little and just laying around. The only real way to describe it is total disconnectivity from the entire world.

OH. And yes. This one may not seem very obvious to many CAAers, but I am oh-so-shy. I can't hold up conversations without stuttering, or look at people at all. I'm just...very awkward.

Wooh~...that was a long post. I hope this made sense.

[Tenshi no Ai]

I cannot make eye contact...at all. Some kids attempted to make me look at them last year when I was in school because they noticed that I stare at the ground when I talk...

I've always had an issue that I look elsewhere when talking to people. My eyes catch something of interest and wander. In fact, half the time I only remember people's shirts and hair, not a lot of their faces. Maybe that's why often in dreams peoples' faces are sort of shadowed out? In the past couple of years, I've been trying very hard with this, especially with having a boyfriend, eye contact is important. Still not amazing, but still trying to work on it >_< It is hard because even at work I moreso look at the items I run through the till and count money, rather than face the person. Even then I guess I tend to... look past people. I do not know why. And if I'm shopping, 8/10 I'll continue to browse around look at the shop than face the salesperson.

I don't think of me as having a form of autism/Asperger's, but it is as if my mind is sort of built like a child's: bright colours and strange new things appeal to me, when I see something that's very visually appealing, I can't take my eyes off and I have this obsessive-compulsive issue with REALLY wanting it. And that's exactly how they market things to children too >_<

With the whole fantasy-land thing, it sounds like me in a sense, although I did it to cope with my "only-child syndrome". What's a kid to do when there aren't any siblings around to play with? I watched ALOT of TV, read alot, drew alot, did random research projects on things on occasion, just because (compared to other people, I know too much about dinosaurs/animals/bugs^^) When I was about 6-9ish I invented a whole storyline for a game that involved a sort of role-play, except all the other characters were invisible. I knew that and never believed that imaginary friends existed, I always used them merely as roles in a part of a game or adventure, to work out the story, heck, I even did the voices for all of them^^

Later on though I obviously got out of that, and if I was dragged to my parents' friends' house, I would honestly just sit there. No one paid attention to me because of them and their adult talk of pains and aches, the usual. So, I started to zone out for long periods at a time and just have storylines flow in my mind. Passed the time well and I always had a new project on my hands^^

Now, I just haven't had time to really do it, with the only time being before I go to sleep/when I wake up, but with work I just don't have time. So now, I just involve myself in different worlds of games and movies etc. rather than create my own. Although I concider myself somewhat obsessive-compulsive, I tend to put things off and/or abandon due to different reasons (which is quite contracting, I guess^^) Even then, I HAVE to be in the creative mood to even work on such a thing (and even more than that, a writing mood). Even more recently, I've been thinking of the whole idea on logics etc, with my topics, but even with that I have to be in a certain mood-set. I just can't think properly unless in that state. Anyone else have that issue with creativeness/logical thinking?

...and well, I guess that's a bit of a peak in my mind^^ Not sure that it would even consider to be any type of "disorder" though^^

[Sapphire225]

I do not have any of those, but my sister does have Aspergers. She tends to act very quiet and different, dpending on who she is around.

[beau99]

I'm an AS guy myself.

Obsessions: Music, pro wrestling and auto racing. You should see the stats I keep on my computer.

I'm not really outgoing myself, I'm not good at making eye contact with anyone and unless I have something to say related to music or sports, I'm not much of a talker.

I wish I could be more open with people. However when it comes to having high-functioning autism in general (it's really the same thing, but with a different name), I wouldn't have it any other way. It makes me who I am, and I like who I am.

[rocklobster]

Well said, beau99!

[Jingo Jaden]

Aspie here.

I am pretty comfortable around people and I do well audiotorialy wise. Not many social problems and I do ok in conversations though I tend to get carried away. Not really outgoing, but the school demands me to travel to the capital. May be a bit less effective when it comes to writeing of all things. Either way, beeing a aspie does not disable me to improve and become a better person. I am doing fairly well mood wise, in some exersise and generaly haveing fun at times. Have alot of online friends that are great to speak with.

My aspie diagnose was discovered during a rather extreme and unknown depression diagnose. Along with slight Paranoia/Shizo that is rated as harmless because of how I generaly act nowadays. Alot of diagnoses was discovered, but the depression is over. However asperger still remains. Seeing that it is a life term syndrome I can do little to change it, but changeing myself in a posetive way and becomeing stronger in the lord is something it will not disable me to do.

[Alexander]

Tenshi:

I'm actually a writer myself and love to use my creativeness, however, I like you have been at a standstill with it. While I'm not particularly busy, things such as my depression and lack of confidence is what really crushes a lot of my creative energy. Right now that being my very intense desire to make a RL friend and to get my spiritual state back in check.

Speaking of depression, I've been going through some very intense moments that while don't relate to my autisim directly, have a connection. Recently my mom and I had a debate about friendship and making them. I became a little frustrated when she told me I might just have to change my attitude including having more then one obsessive interest. Which for me is impossible to do which I tried to explain in detail.

My self-esteem also dropped when she told me she loved me but not the aspie inside me. Due to the fact that I was VERY difficult as a child which I understood but. I didn't know what to make of that. I personally believe that aspergers is a part of me and I personally would love to have children with the condition too, which she couldn't understand. And then it came to me: My mom and me don't understand each other's world. I can only see the world as me, including my autism, and she can only see her world as most people do. So what would be hard and difficult for her I don't understand, and the same the other way around.

*sighs* Right now I do feel really alone in the world and that no one understands me or ever will in my family due to who I am. Some aspies suffer from severe loneliness, and I'm one of the best cases. If you could sum my whole life of RL friendships together, there would be a 5 year period with me having no one but the internet as a dependence. Any other aspie here suffer with friendships and keeping them?

[Kuro-Mizu]

WOW alot of people with aspergers here...

I myself do not have it But one of my best friends does. I think it has made her one of the most ineresting people I know and I think thats cool! ^_^

[beau99]

Some aspies suffer from severe loneliness

Complete truth.

[mathgrant]

I HATE ASPERGER'S. IT AFFECTS MY LIFE.

Maybe I'll go more in-depth tomorrow. . . but trust me for now. I have no earthly idea why God thought it'd be a good idea to give me this condition.

[Alexander]

I HATE ASPERGER'S. IT AFFECTS MY LIFE.

Maybe I'll go more in-depth tomorrow. . . but trust me for now. I have no earthly idea why God thought it'd be a good idea to give me this condition.

*pats head*

Hi mathgrant, I hoped you would notice this thread. (He and I have been friends for some time. I've been trying very hard to show him that being an aspie can be both a gift and have it's less then positive parts. But I've been giving him as much support as I can).

To answer why God brought this upon you, the answer is He did it because He loved you. Yes, it might seem like a strange answer. But Asperger's is what makes you, I, and everyone else with the condition special Grant. Without Asperger's I wouldn't be the person I am. And you wouldn't be either.

Asperger's isn't a curse Grant. That I can promise you.

[Tancos]

I probably could have (and should have) been diagnosed with Asperger's when I was young, but nobody had ever heard of such a thing back then. I tell people that I'm half-Martian, which is not entirely a joke.

Regarding eye-contact: During high school and college I sometimes made an effort to look people in the eye when I spoke to them. They would shield their faces and say, "Please turn off your eyes."

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Basically, it means we create a world for ourselves to live in, an imaginary one, or we have a specific way of looking at the world,

Alexander, do you feel that this "own world" you live in could some way be considered as means of escapism (Even when it's unintentional and due to a disorder)?

[mathgrant]

Hi mathgrant, I hoped you would notice this thread. (He and I have been friends for some time. I've been trying very hard to show him that being an aspie can be both a gift and have it's less then positive parts. But I've been giving him as much support as I can).

To answer why God brought this upon you, the answer is He did it because He loved you. Yes, it might seem like a strange answer. But Asperger's is what makes you, I, and everyone else with the condition special Grant. Without Asperger's I wouldn't be the person I am. And you wouldn't be either.

Asperger's isn't a curse Grant. That I can promise you.

I have to admit, one thing I love about Asperger's is sometimes, I'll be uber-depressed, and the next moment some random funny thing pops into my head, and I'll be laughing like a maniac, and I won't be depressed anymore. It almost makes up for being the most immature 20-year-old on the planet, and having no girlfriend, no car, no job, no tolerance for language, and no other stereotypical sign of maturity!!!! Hey, I'll get 'em eventually. When I'm 24, probably. XP

[Alexander]

Alexander, do you feel that this "own world" you live in could some way be considered as means of escapism (Even when it's unintentional and due to a disorder)?

In some ways, yes. Usually when I'm scared of something much bigger then me. But also as a natural escape from the real world when I need it. But yes, I would say sometimes I do use it as an escapism, and I've been trying to not depend on it as much as I do. I could go into more depth, but your questions would need to be a little more specific.

[Wave]

Hi I have AS also. I was diganosed about 2 years ago. When I was first diagnosed it was really hard for me to come to grips with the the fact that other people say me as this weard person. Any way I still struggle with it a little bit. But God is good and he has helped me thuss far and I know that he will keep helping me.

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