a question of fate...

[Tenshi no Ai]

Yes, yet another one of my contemplating topics. I've been in super-think mode lately and my mind keeps spitting out more and more ideas and thoughts on things to share. This one is on the issue of fate/"meant to be", more specifically, the idea of spouses/life-long mates etc etc (no, not for me but just in general).

The thing I was thinking on, was how exactly does someone know if a person is "right for them", but moreso "if I chose this wrong path, does that mean that I can't find that person anymore?" I think it's because they make it seem that if you settle for "second best" that you will never be able to find your "true love". Thinking on the issue of fate/God's will/"meant to happen" it almost... doesn't make sense. Thinking of it as a path to "perfection" and if that path is severed by one wrong decision, would that mean that the path will never be completed, or that it will never have even existed because of that decision made?

Not that we can really know any of those answers, although we can have an idea of it, but the huge thing of it is finding that "one for you". They say a person will be blessed if they find the one God has chosen, but if they find the wrong person, would that mean that there was still someone else out there looking for them, giving that other person no hope, or because things changed, "fate" changed too? I mean, just thinking on people who have marriage after marriage and a roller coaster ride of all that fun. I mean, would it technically mean that even after all that, the actual "one for them" was the person at the 4th marriage, or was it person no. 2, but things just didn't work on so they went themselves to look for "the next best thing"? I mean I've seen so many church divorces (especially) that it's hard to say what was meant to be or supposed to happen or what.

Hmmm yes I think much too much for my own self, especially as of late if you couldn't tell^^ Most of it is stuff that's just a tad above our knowledge, yes^^ But when I get a thought in my head I HAVE to let it out or else it will plague me and continue looping through without end. So, I decide to type it out and share it with others^^ I may not be as bright as others on here, nor Biblicaly trained as a scholar to know different things, but my goodness my mind never stops thinking on different things^^

[K. Ayato]

Well, what do you believe, based on what the Bible says about it?

[Tenshi no Ai]

Well, what do you believe, based on what the Bible says about it?

Personally I'm not the best when it comes to knowing where things are in it and my memory isn't the best (haven't had a good chance to do some reading as of late, either :/). Some people know right away where some verse is and I'm not good with that, nor am I even the best on search engines for it, so that's why I make a topic^^

[sticksabuser]

You could always go to http://www.biblegateway.com, type in "fate", and search and see if you get any interesting verses...

[Tenshi no Ai]

You could always go to http://www.biblegateway.com, type in "fate", and search and see if you get any interesting verses...

"Fate" is sort of the wrong word I'm using but no, can't find anything.

Like I said, I'm just spewing thoughts from my mind onto paper and I'm not even sure if the Bible has stuff on this exact issue (since like I said, I'm thinking too much for myself to even know, really) but it doesn't look like anyone has anything to add or any ideas/thoughts themselves. I don't even know myself sometimes^^ Been thinking much too much on different issues that I haven't really sat down to think about what I'm really thinking on. It's... frustrating :/

[kaji]

Good thoughts Tenshi. Its really healthy, as Christians, to spend time reflecting on what we believe or wonder about God, His will, and its relation to us. Though this is best realized when we dont just stop there. When we peruse after God (studying His word, spending time in prayer) we will be more familiar with His character and better able to recognize his leading in our lives.

If we dont know God well, its hard to know when He is speak to us, or directing us toward this path or that (or this person or not).

Also, you may find it comforting to know that there is nothing we can do to supersede, frustrate or change Gods will for our lives. The best thing we can do is live in a way that is pleasing to God now, and peruse after a closer relationship with Him.

[Alexander]

I feel that fate is God's overall plan for us in our lives. So, if say, we took a detour, even a massive one that seemed like we could never go back to the fate we were assigned, then God would still work his plan with us. For example, I have Asperger's syndrome, and one thing that most aspies struggle with is with basic friendships. And because I'm in a situation with trying my best to keep a friendship in the real world together is enough of a challenge, the idea of ME getting married seems impossible. In fact, I've learned to accept that idea that there might be a very good chance I will never get married in my life time. Does this mean it will happen? I don't know. I don't know what my fate is, and I know no human being knows what his or her fate is.

As for marriage and going through a few of them in order to find "the right one" I would first suggest to avoid that situation at all costs and be very, very patient. But then, patience can't always prove who a person is. But I'm going off topic.

I think to sum it all up, I'm trying to say: No matter what we choose, God has his overall plan for how we will serve Him. Even if we take many detours getting there.

[uc pseudonym]

I guess my answer (hopefully not too late to be meaningful) is that I disagree fundamentally. To say that God has one specific person in mind for everyone feels wrong to me, as if we are playthings of the Great Puppetmaster in the sky who creates us and thinks, "Alright, I'll put Ken with Barbie..."

Doing God's will does not mean conforming to a specific path. God is involved in our lives and is far more farsighted (in the same way a parent knows their child's dream of joining the circus might not be the best career choice) but I have never read a passage that suggests God predetermines what is "meant to be." When choosing between Person A and Person B you are doing exactly that: choosing between two people, not Right Choice and Wrong Choice. The success or failure of any given relationship says more about the compatibility and maturity of the people involved than destiny.

[K. Ayato]

Amen to that, UC!

[Tenshi no Ai]

To say that God has one specific person in mind for everyone feels wrong to me, as if we are playthings of the Great Puppetmaster in the sky who creates us and thinks, "Alright, I'll put Ken with Barbie..."

Very interesting and I know what you mean.

The whole topic was all hypothetically speaking, because I actually know a lot of people who believe that God has one specific person picked out for them and although the concept of that is common and it's not like I disagree with it, it's just that sometimes I think people take it to a whole new level. My first boyfriend for example, Christian, (while also immature) had said something when he dumped me, along the line of "God told me that we aren't supposed to marry, so there's no point in trying". I never knew if he had any other reason behind it, but it's just interesting that he gave up because he felt compelled that God said "yeah, things won't work between you two...".

It feels like every relationship I get into, I worry: worry that things won't work out, and so forth. In the end if things don't go well, I had assumed that the feeling was God warning me. Maybe so, but it could have just been hindsight. Sometimes I wonder just HOW much he does intervene like that (in actuality) in our lives. Is every time we get a bad feeling about something it's Him trying to tell us something? Or is it just us as a nervous person? Discernment is DEFINITELY a hard thing to deal with. Thinking along the lines of "meant to be" and all that, if every time that "I wouldn't do that..." voice in our head came on, it would mean that we are making WAY too many bad decisions and He's trying to stop us at everything, without much room for us to learn on our own.

*shrugs* Just some ideas that came to me after reading UC's post^^

[K. Ayato]

God's not trying to stop us as much as He's trying to warn us of the outcome of our choices.

[uc pseudonym]

Discernment is hard. Regardless of how much I end up typing in this post, I'm afraid I don't have any real answers for you.

The problem with associating feelings with God's guidance is that this is no more valid than saying that negative feelings are the devil's way of keeping apart people who are meant to be together. Unless you feel utterly certain you have communication from God, I would generally be hesitant to assign supernatural causes to most things. Though I believe God acts and communicates via the Spirit, I'm also very certain that hormones and brain patterns have a great deal to do with most things we feel.

No relationship will be without problems. It is very rare that two people are completely compatible and everyone will irritate the other. Few couples don't sometimes wonder if they made a mistake. But patience and good communication can cover a multitude of troubles.

[K. Ayato]

Amen!

[Tenshi no Ai]

Ah that makes alot of sense^^ Good thoughts there.