Is it supposed to be like this?

[Nia-chan]

Right. Well, I kissed a guy today. Actually, he kissed me. I noticed him leaning forward and BAM then it was over. The thing is, I feel kind of sad. It was my first kiss and everything, and now I gave something away that I can never get back again. It's not that I dislike the guy (or am totally in love with him), but, I don't know. Maybe I'm still in shock. I always thought it would be different, like when I'm older, and more confident, and not wearing my work clothes, and actually ready for it.

But basically yeah, I'm kind of sad/bummed/depressed. Should I be? Am I normal? Should I have dived to the ground the moment I saw him lean forward? Am I making a big deal over nothing? Have I sinned? Have I become a harlot? And should I tell my parents... dare I? I actully might cry. (I'm emotional, I know.)

Oh, why am I telling you? Because I need to get it off my chest, and I want a Christian viewpoint, truthfully.

[Radical Dreamer]

Well, from the sound of it, you aren't even dating the guy. I would have been pretty ticked off, myself. I certainly wouldn't say you sinned, though, so you've got nothing to worry about there. XD But yeah, I'd say it's totally normal to be feeling the way you are, though, if the situation is how it sounds (you aren't dating the guy and don't have much of an interest in him in that way, he kissed you, now you feel like your first kiss is "ruined" in a way).

[Nia-chan]

No, we're not dating, I'm not even allowed to date. Which is partly why I'm not sure how my parents would respond. And to be honest, I kind of liked him, but now I'm not even sure. What should I say. "Um hey yeah listen, I know we kissed and all, but, um, now I don't feel that way about you, sorry." Gah, I'm even confusing myself now.

[Radical Dreamer]

No, we're not dating, I'm not even allowed to date. Which is partly why I'm not sure how my parents would respond. And to be honest, I kind of liked him, but now I'm not even sure. What should I say. "Um hey yeah listen, I know we kissed and all, but, um, now I don't feel that way about you, sorry." Gah, I'm even confusing myself now.

Then yeah, he's totally in the wrong. It was rude of him to ignore your wishes and those of your parents just to get a cheap kiss. My guess is that it wouldn't be such a bad idea to say what you posted just now. He needs to learn how to be respectful, instead of just acting on his own wants.

[Nia-chan]

Then yeah, he's totally in the wrong. It was rude of him to ignore your wishes and those of your parents just to get a cheap kiss. My guess is that it wouldn't be such a bad idea to say what you posted just now. He needs to learn how to be respectful, instead of just acting on his own wants.

But it's totally my fault too, that's why I'm a bit upset with myself. I mean, it's not like I've ever told him to back off. I'll be honest, stuff like this is a first for me, and I liked the attention I got. That's why he kissed me in the first place. But if I tell him that.. I mean, we work together.. it's going to be awkward.

Maybe if I become a nun..

[Radical Dreamer]

Well, even if he did give you attention, he shouldn't have just spontaneously kissed you like that. If he were really a guy worth seeking out, he would have made sure you were comfortable with it before he made any moves. And I definitely don't think becoming a nun is necessary (even though I take it you mean that as more of a joke than anything else. XD). Just be careful of how guys treat you in the future.

[Nia-chan]

Okay ^^ I do feel a little bit better now. Thanks for taking the time to respond, you're a Godsend

[c-girl]

I've had the same thing happen. It wasn't my very first kiss. But it was kind of at random.. The guy and I were not going out and never did. But it was alright. We both decided it was okay. What's done is done. I think that's all you need to do is talk to him. >^-^<

Other advice: I think a lot of people regret their first kiss whether it was with someone they loved or not quite. It's shocking to think that that is that and there's no going back. But you get over it.. And I don't think the very first kiss is that important. It's not that critical. There are more exciting, passionate, fun, cute, loving, shocking or whatever kind of kisses to experience.

[Ashley]

Firstly, I would say that just because someone smacked his lips against yours doesn't mean it was your first kiss. To me, a kiss is an active act, not a passive one. When you take the initiative, then it's your first kiss.

But even then...why is it always venerated so much? I think it has honestly set me and other girls like me down the road to disappointment. We expect magical, starry, firework-like explosions that make your heels pop and a violin theme begin to play when none of that ever happened for me. For the longest time, I thought kissing was incredibly over-rated because all the guys that had ever done so to me made me feel let down, and even a bit depressed....I felt absolutely NOTHING afterwards.

Now granted, I certainly don't feel that way anymore. ^^ That's mostly because in my current relationship, we moved from friendship to dating to any sort of physical touch. By the time we kissed, we already had strong feelings for each other so it meant much more.

Aaaaaaaaanway, that's another story for another day. My point is that all hope isn't lost, young one, and it's okay to feel a little disappointed. But cheer up! I bet you have lots of great kisses ahead of you.

[K. Ayato]

I whole-heartedly agree.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

Wooohooo! Ashley's in love!
That's very true mate, it's great you've found your true wuv.

Nia, since I don't have an experience in the kissing realm I have no advice to give you other than: I don't know why you guys kissed if there was 'nothing' between you. It just seems a bit akward and unnecessary. I don't know. I'm not going to reprimand you but just remind you that a kiss shouldn't be taken lightly. It should be respectful, loving and mean something. But like Ashley said, it's not the end of the world. Just be more mindful of your next kiss.

[ShiroiHikari]

[quote="Ashley"]Firstly, I would say that just because someone smacked his lips against yours doesn't mean it was your first kiss. To me, a kiss is an active act, not a passive one. When you take the initiative, then it's your first kiss.

But even then...why is it always venerated so much? I think it has honestly set me and other girls like me down the road to disappointment. We expect magical, starry, firework-like explosions that make your heels pop and a violin theme begin to play when none of that ever happened for me. For the longest time, I thought kissing was incredibly over-rated because all the guys that had ever done so to me made me feel let down, and even a bit depressed....I felt absolutely NOTHING afterwards.

Now granted, I certainly don't feel that way anymore. ^^ That's mostly because in my current relationship, we moved from friendship to dating to any sort of physical touch. By the time we kissed, we already had strong feelings for each other so it meant much more.

Aaaaaaaaanway, that's another story for another day. My point is that all hope isn't lost, young one, and it's okay to feel a little disappointed. But cheer up! I bet you have lots of great kisses ahead of you. ]

Word.

[Nia-chan]

Thanks for the advice and reminding me that all hope really isn't lost and that it's not the end of the world ^^ At least I learned a lesson through all this

[Puguni]

But it's totally my fault too, that's why I'm a bit upset with myself. I mean, it's not like I've ever told him to back off. I'll be honest, stuff like this is a first for me, and I liked the attention I got. That's why he kissed me in the first place. But if I tell him that.. I mean, we work together.. it's going to be awkward.

I know how that feels. It's ok to change your mind. Even if you were at the alter and you knew this wasn't the guy you would be happy with, it's much better to just stop the wedding then to spend the rest of your life in a relationship that you knew wouldn't turn out well.

If it feels wrong to you, it's not too late to change your mind. Yes, it's going to be awkward, but at least you aren't pursuing something you know you wouldn't like.

This is just a nice lesson for you in the future, when you're faced with bigger decisions. I'd say you learned well.

[Nia-chan]

Okay, I have one last question: do you think it's necessary to tell my parents? I know parents don't have to know every little thing and I should handle this on my own. Of course, if we were actually to become "official" I would want their approval, but I don't know if this is important enough.

[Kai Robin]

Okay, I have one last question: do you think it's necessary to tell my parents? I know parents don't have to know every little thing and I should handle this on my own. Of course, if we were actually to become "official" I would want their approval, but I don't know if this is important enough.

Not really. I think its important to be honest and you should trust your parents but this sounds like something Daddy would overreact to and complicate things unneccessarily, this seems like something you are mature enough to simply deal with, though if you did start dating I would suggest tipping your hat to your parents.

From what I can tell he just seemed like you have a friend who is a young guy whoo had a wee-bit to much reaction to his crush, but he doesn't seem to be stalking you or anything of the sort. Now if you came across some random person you barely know who started touching you thats a different story, give him a swift kick to "the underworld," get the h-e-doublehockeysticks out (hehe) and call someone!

On a side note, when I read your post it sounded like something from your typical "coming of age love/comedy" manga. It coulda been a scene straight out of....Honey and Clover or Kare Kano, or Nodame Cantabile!!!!....hehehe.....

[Mr. SmartyPants]

It is very likely that this boy has feelings for you. It would be the wisest thing to break it to him and tell him that you have no interest in him, and that the kiss was purely accidental.

He may try to convince you otherwise (Speaking from a guy's perspective), but even so. Stay ground on your feet. He may still like you afterwards and try to passive pursue you as well. Just a warning.

[dyzzispell]

But even then...why is it always venerated so much? I think it has honestly set me and other girls like me down the road to disappointment. We expect magical, starry, firework-like explosions that make your heels pop and a violin theme begin to play when none of that ever happened for me. For the longest time, I thought kissing was incredibly over-rated because all the guys that had ever done so to me made me feel let down, and even a bit depressed....I felt absolutely NOTHING afterwards.

Hehe, that's the way it was for me too... that is, until I kissed my husband-to-be. There really was something magical about it. That's how I knew it was right. I'd had some kisses that were "okay", and others where I felt absolutely nothing, and others where I was repulsed and never wanted to do it again. But with my husband, it was something I'd never experienced before. I'll never forget that day 10 years ago... it was like there was some sort of electricity, and all my fears melted away. It was like I was somewhere else, where nothing could harm me, like I was protected. Like Drew Barrymore described it in the beginning of Never Been Kissed.
So I've come to learn that your real first kiss isn't until it's with the one you'll spend the rest of your life with. Anything else is just second rate.
Anyway, my first kiss was with a boy who threatened to leave me if I didn't. So I did. And then he left me. XD