A Teen's Perception of Love

[Destroyer2000]

To start, nothing irritates me more than seeing these fourteen and fifteen year olds running around saying, "Oh, I love him/her SO much!" when they don't even know what love is. It makes my stomach churn, and makes me want to slap them. They fling the term around blatantly, without any regard for its true meaning. What causes them to view every relationship as 'love'? Why can't they recognize infatuation? I've never understood that. Not at all...how can they call something love when they don't any the slightest clue as to what it really is? I overheard two kids talking, both about 12, and one asks the other...
"Do you like anybody right now?"
"No, I love somebody. He's the greatest guy ever!"
Any my response? "...give me a break."

Someone tell me, why can't they see their puppy love for what it is?

[Tenshi no Ai]

Movies, tv, etc. Where else would they learn this definition? It's my best guess anyhow to see such a thing portrayed in such a way. I believe that there is probably a select few that exist and know what it really means, but not too many :/

[Fish and Chips]

Teenagers these days are wired with hormones and popular culture. Sure, they might understand love, especially if they have thoughtful parents, but I wouldn't set my watch by it.

"A few, more mentally mature can."

[Zilch]

I blame violent video games, just like everyone else. ;p

[Radical Dreamer]

I agree with Tenshi; most of it comes from TV shows and movies (Boy Meets World, anyone?). I voted for the last option, though, because I believe there are older and more mature teenagers (i.e., no one at or under the age of 15) that understand the difference between a crush/infatuation and love. But yeah, I understand your frustrations with people like that. XD;

[Puguni]

Tweens want to emulate TV and ignore/are ignorant of the fact that relationships are much more challenging than it seems. We all can't be Romeos and Juliets. I put no, because I believe people are extremely complex as are the emotions we emit and too complex to take on in an early age. At least I'm happy with one commitment to God right now, thank you. :]

[Bap]

False sense of reality? xD; Like... wanting something like, love, and making themselves think they have it? xD; I mean, I think a lot of people want the whole "perfect relationship" thing, so they sorta make themselves think they do?

Lawls, for my own answer on the poll, I chose "yes." xD; (I wonder if my age has any direct correlation to that. xP What with apparently being one of the younger members responding to this at the moment... xD)

butdurh. 'cause I think it's more than a few... xD; I mean, y'know how sometimes you know how things go, but you still try and think it the other way?

tolike. Apply it to this, I guess like... Maybe more people, deep down and stuff, know the more... "deep" meaning of love is? But like, even then, they still would like to think that they really are in love with... whoever? xD;

Buh. Something like that. xD;

[Destroyer2000]

...I think I understood that last post. From my point of view, any teenager who says they are in love with someone and yet breaks up with them is hypocritical. True love, the love I speak of, lasts forever, and doesn't break up with someone because of something petty. After they break up, they will eventually move on and forget how they felt about that person. If it were true love that were broken in a manner such as that, one would feel it for the rest of their lives, would they not? I think, well, atleast I think I believe this...you can only truly love one person with the kind of love portrayed in books and movies. The marriagiable kind of love, the kind that lasts forever. I don't believe in 'soulmates' so to speak, but I do believe that each person has another person somewhere in the world that God has chosen for them, and that is the only person for them.

[Raiden no Kishi]

I think any teenager is capable of understanding what real love is, but few are taught/care to. So . . . I voted "A few, more mentally mature can".

.rai//

[Slater]

Love cannot be taught, it can only be experianced and remembered. I didn't know true love until I met my gf... even then I didn't know what the feeling inside of me was.

We get so tied up on lust and incorrect ideas of what love is that, when the real thing rolls around, we get caught flat-footed and off-guard. But even though it is unexpected, even a little bit of love feels better than any empty carnal desire.

My only recomendation about how to find true love is to find Truest Love first. The closer you grow to God, the closer you'll grow to the one He wants you to be with, even if you don't know who in this crazy world that is.

[Debitt]

I believe that if a teen is mature enough filter out everything the media bombards us with, then they're perfectly capable of understanding the reality of love. I don't think many of us teens are that mature and spiritually secure, though.

I have seen a few very loving couples who got married young, though, so it's plausible.

[Dante]

Challenge of the day, find a Bible verse that defines the characteristics of love . (Hint: Somewhere in Corinthians, and when flipped backwards (the inverse of love) it spells h*ll, and yes I knew about it when I was a teenager)

Overall, we are all guilty of using the word love too much... I love this food, I love this person, I love this car... love love love... In the end, do we overuse it so much that when we say "I love God" that this love fits in the same catogories as the others. In my opinion (though guilty of overusing it as well) it's one cliche term that should be vaporized from our society. We should only say we love something if we're will to prove it and there's a good list at the location hinted. Sure, Teenagers know how to love I think, at least I hope they still love their parents or the siblings (even though they may never say it at this duration of their life) they may even display the attributes of the above enough to show love towards friends. It's not a question of maturity as understanding what love is, there are quite a few adults who don't realize this either mind you.

[K. Ayato]

But then, it's not just the teenagers who have the wrong meaning of what love is. Young adults who've just barely gotten out of their teens (and I was one) usually (and mistakenly) associate love with emotional highs or physical intimacy.

I've met some of those folks, and I've had moments where I wanted to scream and forget about manners and tact 'cause their shallowness angered me so much.

Like folks have said, it's TV, movies, and other forms of media. But it's also based on what their peers say too. It's very hard to base your definition of love (while you're young) without having at least some part of it based on what other people say.

[Kawaiikneko]

I would have to that a few mentally mature can. I'm 17 and I'm sure I can say that I don't understand love yet, but I know some people who have dated since seventh or eighth grade and are now getting married. I'm willing to say they understood at least a small part of love. My mom got married at 19 (though she firmly forbids me from doing likewise).

[jon_jinn]

i selected the last option because it seemed the most reasonable. though i'm about 85% on the "No" side, selecting No would not seem like the most logical answer as i'm sure there ARE teens out there who have a more clear and deeper perception of love (and putting 'Maybe' wasn't a very...clear or detailed enough answer). i, personally, hate to admit that my view of love is seriously vague and very much affected by this world's entertainment.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

jon_jinn, maybe it is vague, maybe not. But your very acknowledgement of the fact that you don't know it all proves you are mature for your age and one step closer to being able to help others (not fall for the traps).

[Nate]

*votes the last one for reasons already mentioned*

[Cognitive Gear]

I believe that it is possible. However, I also think that not only teens have trouble understanding it. I believe that it is something that is elusive. It seems to me that there are many people in this world that go their entire lives without really understanding. It's a very sad thing.

[Alice]

Well, remember, infatuation, and a crush, can feel a lot like love. And the way love is defined today, is "a feeling." As long as people hold that as the pure definition, it's unlikely anyone, especially a kid, can really understand.

That said, I'm sure some can / do.

Also, can you say something is love only if it is returned?

Can you love someone even if it's a bad idea?

I think you can, but it's a bad idea.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

*votes the last one for reasons already mentioned*

*votes the first one due to not reading the last one until after the vote was counted...*

UC. WE NEED YOUR HELP! Lives are at stake here!

[Maledicte]

Well it ain't just TV and movies. That may be part of it but teenagers have been acting crazy since Cain and Abel.

"Nowhere in the Bible does it say how old the devil was when he rejected God's authority. I'd say 15"

Eh, teens are crazy. I was one. I thought I was in love. I think it's natural--that longing to be wanted by someone else. Particularly today, when people have become so distant from one another, that desire for bonding at an early age becomes stronger, along with wanting to fit in with their peers. But I'm talking about more serious longing here, not the boyfriend/girlfriend-of-the-week "BUT I LOVE HIM/HER" tripe.

Despite that, I think you (the OP) are being a bit insensitive.

[Eaglestrike]

I always thought I was more mentally mature than my age. I didn't laugh at childish things, I didn't like crude jokes (this is coming from before I was a Christian) and other things. I was after this girl since I started sophomore year in high school, after a couple years of dating we were going to college together. I proposed. A few months later and it was a big mistake. Looking back with that 20/20 hindsight I realize it.

The reason teenagers can't understand love is because they're still developing. No one is done major development until they begin their working career. 2000 years ago this was 16/17, 50 years ago this was 18-19. This generation it is 21-24. I'm 21, I've spent a LOT of time reflecting on everything that has happened to me. But I also realize I'm going to change a good bit more, because I haven't started that routine I'll most likely be doing for 30+ years, work.

I voted No in this poll, but I don't see it doing anything. I always thought of myself as an exception, to everything. Chance any other teenager that reads what I write thinks that about themselves? Nearly 100%.

[ICE-rocks]

All these people are giving us teenagers a bad name. No one (from 1-19) I think can say they truly love someone else. its just imposssible. 9sorry but thats all I can say)

[Slater]

hehehe... but isn't that blind judgement? *points to your listed age*

[Azier the Swordsman]

Considering the divorce rate, I don't believe many adults understand the concept of "being in love" either.

[mitsuki lover]

I am having a good chuckle reading the responses of some of the posters and then looking at their ages.
I really don't think any teen ager has the ability to understand love.At that point it's all mainly hormones and looks.

[KBMaster]

I don't think younger teens(like 15-,16-) can TRULY understand love. Most of the time, they can't even understand themselves. I don't think even the mentally mature can. As Eaglestrike said, teenagers are still developing into adults and wrangling those hormones and such. A teenager's "love" is often just infatuation.
And so called "tweens" are just trying to act like they're adults or older teenagers, thus proving themselves to be immature.

And yes, I know that I myself am a teenager and I acknowledge the fact that I don't understand love. I don't even plan on dating until I'm out of college and a fully-developed adult.

[Destroyer2000]

KBMaster, that is a good idea. I had said the same thing - and yet right now, I'm fighting with myself over whether or not to go out with this girl. It goes against anything I have said before, and yet, I still want to. However, infatuation does not seem to be something that one can simply wish out of existence. If so, I would have do so long ago.

To the original point, however. I don't think I'm being insensitive. It's sensitivity that has caused teens to become so out of control and adults to be so soft, without showing the proper authority. You have to be cold sometimes to make a point to someone. As to one of the other comments, no, I do not believe I understand what love is. How can one who has never experienced love define it accurately?

[Jman]

It's been a while since i Posted here, but i'll set my input. No, I don't beleive teenagers can understand what love is, even as highschoolers i have a hard time understanding what true "love" is. don't misunderstand me, You can like someone ALOT. but love is somthing completly different that comes from acctually being with a person for some time. and no i don't beleive in true love.

[Etoh*the*Greato]

I think most Teens are too selfish to give themselves over to someone else so completely.