Changing and confused

[The Last Bard]

Ok...Our school isn't extremely large, but it's big enough. And I just started going there this year, and I don't want to sound full of myself or anything, but I'm def. more of a prep there.
I'm in the top 3 for homecoming and here just recently I've decided to stop worrying about everyone else and just do my own thing. So I got a new hairstyle (emo) and I'm changing, but not because anyone wants me to, it's because I'm tired of being neutral so everyone will like me.
Now I'm really confused...It's hard not having everyone like you...And it'd be so much easier just to go back to dressing like a prep and everyone being okay with me, but I really want people to like me for ME. Not because of what I wear.
So wouldn't it be stupid to be neutral again so everyone will like me and get along with me?
I'm just really confused....I don't know what to do....I just don't feel close to anyone at my school and I'm so confused....please help.

[Destroyer2000]

Well, losing the emo look would help, because most people cannot stand emos. Probably because most of them are self righteous, conceited brats. However, in this case, it's better to just swallow whatever pride you have and do your own thing, regardless of what people think. THe popular crowd is not usually one to hang with, anyway.

[The Last Bard]

But they've known me long enough that the emo look shouldn't change everything they feel and know about me...They aren't a bad group or anything, I just don't feel close to anyone, which now that I think about probably inspired the emo look.

[Eaglestrike]

Why did you change to the emo look? Just to be different? That doesn't sound like a very appealing trait. Be different to be yourself, because you aren't the same as everyone else. Being different just to fall into another classification doesn't really do much. Dress how you want, be it prep, emo, homeless, etc. Have your hair how you want it, greased, sprayed, bald or "I just woke up".

Not everyone is going to like you, that's pretty much not possible, Jesus was perfect and it's pretty clear not everyone liked Him. What matters is if you like you, and people you can trust like you. What other people think of me doesn't matter as long as I like who I am and my two best friends do as well. 500 people could walk by me and use a different insult as they did but if I saw my two smiling friends as the next two people it wouldn't effect me at all, well, maybe I'd laugh.

You have to figure out yourself and be confident in yourself. It's one of the best traits someone can have. Especially for mental health.

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

What is 'prep.' I've heard of it before but no nothing more.

I'm very much myself, many find me odd, and I find it hard to make many friends (because I'm weird) but I'm my own person, not some hapless drone of society (concerned with superfical looks/being popular etc).
Just be yourself, if people can't handle that, tough.

[The Last Bard]

Why would I change to an emo look just to be different? You guys are really missing what I'm trying to say...I'm tired of wearing Hollister all the time so everyone will accept me. I want people to a accept me for who I am, now how I dress.
I changed to an emo look because I want to. Not because I want to be different. Sure, I knew changing to an emo look would make me look different and probably less popular, but who cares.

[K. Ayato]

What's wrong with Hollister? From a personal point of view, I'm a tomboy. I can't stand makeup anymore, and I don't like dressing up except for church and formal occasions. Back when I was in the Army, majority of the girls didn't like me 'cause I was "sheltered", and some were saying I needed a change in appearance, aka wardrobe. Did it bother me? Absolutely. Did I decide to change how I looked to try to fit in? Not really. I did try to get them to accept the fact that I'm different and was fine with who I am.

Point is, don't give in to any kind of pressure to make you be more noticed (or likable). Anywhere you go, there will be a group of individuals who'll take one thing about you (whether it's appearance or personality, or even morals) and make the conclusion that they don't like you.

You say you changed your hairstyle only 'cause you felt like it. However, you can't always completely rule out the desire to conform to the majority. Just be who you know you are. Even if it means wearing Hollister and being made fun of for being a preppy.

One last thing. Being neutral isn't so bad. Take a few steps back, and one day you'll realize there's another person out there just like you.

*Hugs* Feel free to drop a PM if you want to talk more.

[Cap'n Nick]

I think it would be safe to say that even though you were popular, you never had any real friends in the first place. Anyone that knew you well enough would stick with you through a wardrobe change, no matter how bizarre. The fact that everything that attracted people to you could be taken off with your clothes shows that your relationships never went any further than skin deep.

Hopefully I'm wrong and you have one or two people that you can still talk to, but the choice between wide popularity and unbridled expression is very real. I think you should wear what you want and do your best to be outgoing and cultivate meaningful relationships. It may be hard - believe me, I know how hard making friends in a new place can be - but as you have seen, popularity is simply no substitute.

[mitsuki lover]

Just try to be yourself and don't worry how many friends you end up having and you will be far happier than if you tried to mix in and did what everyone else expected you to do and be.

[K. Ayato]

Hooah!

[mitsuki lover]

Life is really too short to worry about what people are constantly thinking about you.

[rocklobster]

Amen to that. And I was in Special Education for most of my school years, so you can imagine what I heard about me and the rest of those like me in my life.

[Puguni]

It hurts to change, but if you really want people to like you for you, then you will have to change. I totally understand what you are going through. It is going to be awkward, but it will get better. Trust me; it feels so much nicer knowing you're being true to yourself than being fake.

It looks daunting, but have faith. One or two good friends is worth more than people who like you for your outward appearance. It is worth it. The fact that you don't really feel close with anyone just proves it.

It's about your happiness, not others. If you need an ear, just give a PM. It's definitely not going to be easy.


On the other hand, I'm slightly annoyed at the responses this thread has been getting. You guys aren't even properly reading the thread. :/

[The Last Bard]

Hey Puguni! Thank you! You understand where I'm coming from! Thanks for all the other responses, but Puguni understands what I'm talking about more. Thanks all, it's helped understand what I need to do and to stop worrying about what others think.