Fionn Fael wrote:Anyway, here's the deal. Remember the guy I had problems with before? Yeah, well... Ever since the last time I saw him, I've avoided thinking about him at all. During the whole "first kiss" incident and such, I liked hanging out with him. But, in retrospect, all our experiences just make me feel extremely uncomfortable. I realize now that I never even really liked the guy. Shameful though it is, I think that I was just interested because he was interested first. I was so flattered that a cute, popular, older boy actually noticed me that I convinced myself that I liked him. He wasn't a bad guy or anything, but I feel like he and I were never on the same page, and we never will be. Despite this, he keeps calling me. I, in turn, ignore his voice messages like the coward I am.
First of all, avoidance is
not a good response, especially if you've determined with certainty that he is not the right person for you. Since the relationship makes you uncomfortable, you need to take time to explain to him - in person is best, but at very least over the phone - exactly what you've explained here. You might get lucky, and he'll understand
and accept it right away. The more likely scenario is that he
won't understand right away]will[/b] be uncomfortable to tell him
and to remain firm if he persists - but that is one of the challenges that any person must face if they want to do what is right for them.
Fionn Fael wrote:--SNIPPED FOR SPACE--
Perfect, right? 'Fraid not. Get this: his best friend has had a crush on me for even longer than he has!! I'm friends with both of them, and I could never split them apart by dating the one I'm infatuated with. And, most important (and disheartening) of all, this new guy I like isn't a Christian, as far as I can tell. You wouldn't know this by his actions (he's quite possibly one of the sweetest, most innocent boys in the universe), but I'm convinced that he isn't saved. I can't date a non-believer, and I certainly can't try to win someone to Christ simply to date them.
The first thing I want to touch on here is the issue of a conflict in religion. I'm not sure I'm understanding your position here, so I want to try to clarify that.
You state, "You wouldn't know this by his actions...but I'm convinced that he isn't saved." Is there a reason that you have to be convinced of this? Many people are simply quiet about their faith, because they believe that it's not a public issue. "Closet Christians" are just as plentiful as "Closet Pagans" and the only way one would know is to ask - in public, both simply express their faith through individual actions, such as how they treat others and what causes they support, and those things don't always point to a definitive religion. If you don't know for sure and are truly interested in him (not just infatuated), a first step would be to strike up a conversation about beliefs and ask him outright. If he's a friend, he won't take offense, even if it means that the two of you won't be anything more than casual friends in the future.
You also stated, "I can't date a non-believer..." Is this because of personal conviction, or because someone else told you that? If it's from your own heart, then that is something you need to keep in the forefront of your mind while you make decisions on who to approach for companionship. If it's
not your own conviction, you may want to reconsider it - mixed-faith relationships
can work, they just require more commitment and dedication than those who have no conflicts in their beliefs. My husband is Christian and I am Pagan - and we just celebrated four years of marriage last December]does[/b] worry about the fact that I am not baptised - but that's part of where the understanding and compromise comes into a relationship. His concern over baptism is not enough of a concern that it would cause him to stop liking someone, and I understand where his concerns come from, which is why I agreed to marriage in his church rather than a handfasting among my own community. Our relationship works because we are both comfortable in our faiths and how our faiths interact; if we were not, our relationship would not work. That is why, if you are not
personally comfortable dating a non-believer, you should stand by that and dismiss those from your mind as potential companions.
As far as splitting up friends by dating one instead of the other goes, that is something that is
entirely between the two of them. Consider the situation this way - if there was a guy who liked you and who you liked, but your best (girl) friend
also liked him, would you want him to say nothing to you, for fear that it would interfere with you and your friend? When a couple gets together, they don't
stop having mutal friends - in fact, the number of mutual friends tends to grow. How frienships and jealousies are handled is up to each individual - if all
three individuals want to come to an understanding together, that's great. If not, then it's up to each individual person to come to individual understandings. That can sometimes become more complicated, but it is often more comfortable for people.
But, I guess you have to experience things like this some time or other, and it's normal for it to be awkward. I'm just glad I got things straightened out for now. Anyway, thanks for all of your help, everyone! And if you have even the smallest bit of more advice, don't hesitate to post! I love you guys!! 
Actually, while I'm on the topic, let's just put it out there: all guys are dumb. Does anyone disagree? Anyone? But seriously, I'm kidding. J/K, all of you males out there!
But as I said, it was a necessary casualty.
